Chapter 3

Aubree's Pov

When I woke up the next time, I felt something heavy on my stomach. I tried to lift my head, and saw Jaden lying asleep on me.

I stared at him and my heart fluttered with joy. Never in a million years did I imagine that he could fall in love with me, let alone the thought of him marrying me. I don't know how it happened and I had so many question on my mind.

We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time. 

He was lying on me, and I was still half asleep, wondering what I did to deserve this moment. There was something special about this moment, about sharing a blanket and body heat. To bare your soul in a cover of darkness, knowing no judgement will take place, because everyone becomes vulnerable when they sleep. There darkness is so heavy and safe as you hear the soft beating of a heart trapped in their body, and it's comforting to sleep next to someone who loves you. I wonder if we had the best talks in the few minutes before we fell in sleep, and the heartiest laughs that we must have shared in the past. 

My curious hands gently began to stroke his black hair, and in an instant, he was wide awake and looked at me with a bright smile, causing my heart to do a somersault. His hazel eyes pierced my soul with that intense gaze and I felt as if I were the luckiest girl in this entire world.

I get sentimental over the music of the ’90s. Deplorable, really. But I love it all. As far as I’m concerned the ’90s was the best era for music ever, even the stuff that I loathed at the time, even the stuff that gave me stomach cramps.

But then again, I felt a stinging throb in my head, which made me feel numb for a fraction of second. I scrunched my eyes with pain, and soon enough, it had passed away. But it felt like lighting had just struck me, and I was on fire, but I had to look strong in front of Jaden. I could not let him know that I was in pain. He had already been in pain just because of me being tied to a bed for all these months, I did not want to cause him more pain.

"How do you feel? Do you need something?" He asked me with concern on his face, and he literally jumped out of the bed.

When we were friends, I always used to think how would it be, being in love with your best friend. Would it be as good as the friendship that we had? Would it make me feel good, or would it break us apart. He was worrying about me so much, and even though I wanted to tell him that I was alright, I couldn't, because I was so hypnotised by him.

But now, seeing him acting like this made me believe that yes, I actually had fallen for the right person, who cared and did not take me for granted like all those other people that I had fallen in love with earlier.

When I did not reply for a long time, he continued to stare at me and I could sense that he was getting worried.

"I'm fine Jaden. Come lie next to me." I said and shifted towards one end of the bed.

"No, I'm fine here. You should rest." He said and sat up on his seat.

But from the looks of him, I could easily see that he was very tired. He may be getting less sleep because his face was full of dark circles.

"Please Jaden, hop on." I said and smiled at him, I knew he would never say no to me, he never did when we were friends.

"Okay." He said and gently laid on the bed beside me.

Having him near me made me feel far better than I had been since the last time I woke up. I lifted my head, and put it on his shoulder, and I did not even notice that we were now holding hands.

The artificial breathing supplies were removed from my nose, but my hands were still covered with tubes attached to some monitoring machine.

"It's so strange Jaden. The last time I remember is that we were friends, but then I wake up and find that we're married." I talked to him, while he began to draw patterns on my hands.

"I know, it must be very difficult for you. But trust me, everything happens for good. Just trust the lord." He said gently.

"When did we marry each other? How much time has passed by?" I asked him curiously.

"We were married last year in the spring." He told me.

"So we do not have any kids right?" I asked, the last thing that I wanted was having kids right now, but still I could not help myself asking him about it.

"No, there's just the two of us right now." He laughed, making a large smile appear on my face.

"How did we get married? Did we confess our love for each other at NYU? What happened? Tell me please." I begged and looked at him with hope in my eyes.

"I will tell you, when the time is right." Jaden said and closed his eyes.

"Pretty please." I begged again.

But he stayed quiet.

"Or was it me who finally found the guts and told you that I have a crush on you." I asked him, and his eyes shot open just like lightening, and he looked me like he had just seen a ghost.

"Yo..you had a crush on me?" He asked me as if it was the most impossible thing on this planet.

"Yes, I had a crush on you, when we were at NYU. Or at least, this is the last thing that I remember. Did I not tell you about this? Even after we got married?" I asked him with confusion in my eyes.

"No.. you never mentioned this." He said and I could see regret in his eyes. He pulled me closer to him, and hugged me tightly.

Why did I see regret in his eyes? Why did I not tell him about me having a crush on him, even though we had been married since one year. It was too strange, maybe the Aubree I had become in the past ten years was very different from the Aubree I used to be when I was younger.

As he tightened his grip on me, I felt the warmth of his body seeping into mine, making me feel like I had found a missing puzzle of my life, I felt as if I were complete now.

Again, sleep was overpowering my senses, but before I could completely drown in slumber, I heard Jaden whispering 'Sorry'. And as much as I wanted to ask, why he was sorry, I could not help but fall back into deep sleep.

**

Next day, I woke up in the morning and saw that Jaden was no longer lying with me.

I saw the sweet nurse by my side and she looked at me with a large smile once again.

"Hey Aubree, I hope you feel fine today. My name is Mia, and I have been appointed as your nurse." She told me, while she began to pour some porridge in a cup.

"Hey Mia. Where is Jaden?" I asked her, while she handed me the porridge and told me to finish it.

"Jaden has gone to receive your parents. They will be back soon." She told me while she began to check my pulse and temperature.

"You seem to heal quickly. Now all you need is a lot of rest, and you will be allowed to go home within a week." She said and began to sort some things on a nearby desk and then gave me a few meds before my parents arrived.

"I want to go home soon, I'm tired of watching these faint walls. It makes me feel depressed." I told Mia.

"Yes I can get it. It feels a lot depressing." She chuckled and left the room, "I'll just go and bring back your parents." She said and left me all alone in the room once again.

I know what it feels like, and it sucks, it really does, when you are up in the middle of the night thinking about the things that you've suddenly became aware of. The things you're missing out on right now, and all the people who are not close to you anymore, and all of the good times that will never happen again, and all the people who have meant the world to you who have forgotten about you forever, and you get this awful feeling that's kind of like a mix between loneliness and nostalgia.

I felt a pang -- a strange and inexplicable pang that I had never felt before.

It was homesickness.

Now, even more than I had earlier when I'd first glimpsed it, I longed to be transported into that quiet little landscape, to walk up the path, to take a key from my pocket and open the cottage door, to sit down by the fireplace, to wrap my arms around myself, and to stay there forever and ever.

The thing about memories wasn't that many of them inevitably faded, but that repeated recall of the ones you remembered burnished them into shining, gorgeous lies.

Most things are forgotten over time. Even the war itself, the life-and-death struggle people went through is now like something from the distant past. We’re so caught up in our everyday lives that events of the past are no longer in orbit around our minds. There are just too many things we have to think about everyday, too many new things we have to learn. But still, no matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away. They remain with us forever, like a touchstone. My memories were here too, in my mind, hidden somewhere. I just wanted them to re surface so that I could know what happened to me.