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On The Border 56
Angelina’s POVDammit my decision was the furthest thing from being final.I was fighting one hell of a battle with myself trying to stay away from him and deny all those confusing feelings he was erupting within me just by being near me.Gosh! I was almost positive that if I agree to stay here with his family and give us a chance, it would be the best damn thing that could ever happen to me. I would be happy, safe, and possibly end up falling in love with him.But a huge part of me was reluctant to give in to those feelings and hopes. I still carry that guilt within me and it wasn’t going away no matter how many times they tell me and show me that they don’t hold me accountable for everything.And no matter what Lucas says about their lives being constantly in danger and that me staying here wasn’t going to bring anything new to their lives, I’m still drowning with terror at the thought of any harm befalling any of them because of me. It would kill me if something happened to any of
On The Border 57
Lucas’s POVI was half expecting Angel to join me during my usual midnight smoking time, I’m not going to lie, I was waiting for her to show up, I even smoked more cigarettes than I’m used to as I waited for her, but she didn’t show up.She was still being stubborn, acting unaffected when I was a hundred percent sure that she is.She didn’t want to spend more time with me alone in fear of me breaking through her walls and changing her mind.I stumped my last cigarette for the night begrudgingly as I gathered that she won’t come down to meet me and went back inside.I was headed into my room when I heard her heart breaking whimpers.Without wasting anytime, I came inside her room and closed the door behind me as I approached her bed. Like I expected, she was having another nightmare. Her tears were streaming down her closed eyelids, her hands were clutching the sheet very tightly, her body was writhing in pain and shaking in fear as her whimpering got louder.“Mom!” she said in a weak
On The Border 58
Angelina’s POVLucas’s embrace was a whole new level of intimacy.I wasn’t talking about sexual intimacy. I mean that was there, but it wasn’t the dominating feeling right now.Feeling his tight arms around my body, resting my head over his chest, and hearing his steady heartbeat, caused a sense of security, safety, and warmth to wash over me at once. Taking all of my pain and agony away.I’ve never been hugged by a man before, ever.And it felt so damn good to have him hold on to me snuggly like that. It felt beyond good, it felt amazing.I don’t know what came over me as I admitted that out loud to him in a vulnerable tone “I’ve never been hugged by a man before” I said against his chest without looking up at him.His body stiffened a bit as he asked in a low voice “Does it bother you?”“No, it….” I wanted to say it feels great, but I held myself, because I didn’t want to blur the lines I established this morning with him.“It doesn’t bother me” I said quietly instead.“Do you want
On The Border 59
Lucas’s POVI could see the battle she was fighting against her self to keep her walls solid around me, blocking any and all attempts from me to bring them down.I couldn’t hold my stupid mouth from requesting a kiss from her, it was completely out of my control. Something about her just keeps calling to me, luring me to her, and I just stopped fighting it a long time ago and fully succumbed to it. Wish she would do the same, but she was holding her own urges better than me.“We probably shouldn’t” she whispered and I could sense how hard those words were for her because a big part of her was yearning for that kiss like me.I sighed softly and said soberly “Well, I should probably let you get ready for the day. We still on for training and gun practice?”She raised her eyebrows “I didn’t realize you’re part of training now, too” she said in wonderment.“I can’t let you and April practice in that gym alone, so might as well get a little workout from it” I said huskily.“You can just se
On The Border 60
Lucas’s POVI spent the best day with Angelina.I was being my gentle, soft self with her. Unlike yesterday, when I kept pressing on her nerves, teasing, and provoking her just to get a reaction from her.Today, I was totally polite and sensitive towards her. I knew she was still rattled by her nightmare and that me spending the night with her helped her to get past it enough to fall back to sleep. But it wasn’t enough to push it out of her head entirely. That will require some time to achieve, and I will try to work with her on this.I changed my tactic towards making her stay here with me and allowing her feelings for me to grow instead of pushing them away. I decided to stop provoking her or playing any sort of game with her. I just wanted to be there for her and show her the real Lucas, when he’s not surrounded by his craziness and impulsiveness.After breakfast, we headed towards the gym for practice. I dragged David along with me too. He complained at first but I knew he was jus
On The Border 61
Lucas’s POV“This better be good, Alex” I said gruffly as I answered the call.“Did I interrupt your beauty sleep?” he asked innocently.Oh it was a fucking beauty alright, but I was wide awake, sober, and horny as hell for that fucking beauty if my throbbing, angry dick was any indication.“Just tell me what you’ve got” I said dryly, already cursing him in my head.“Touchy, touchy. What’s going on with you?” he asked sarcastically.“Nothing” I said curtly.I swear I was two seconds away from hurling profanities at him if he doesn’t get to the fucking point.“Sure” he said mockingly and before I could go off on him, he carried on in all business mode “I have good news. I was able to get my hands on his man and flip him on our side, he’s going to call the meeting as soon as Zade leaves. We’re all set for tomorrow morning. Tell me you already sent the guys over here”“They’re on their way. Are you sure about the man? What if he betrays us to Zade?” I ask him in a hard tone. You can’t tr
On The Border 62
Angelina’s POVHe fucking lied to me!He hid the truth from me even after he said that he trusted me.Not just him, but all of them did, even Diana.Now April’s slip up two days ago made total sense. She was talking about them in the present tense and I felt sorry for her because she hasn’t accepted the fact that they were dead yet. But they were alive all along.The door suddenly opened revealing the person I thought I could start trusting. The only man I gave my trust to and let him in; even if it was for a little bit. I gave him a fucking piece of me, I gave him my first kiss, I let him hug me, hold me, and embrace me to sleep. I thought he was going to be the one to change my mind about letting a man into my life, into my heart.What the hell was all of that talk about him being sincere with me, not playing with me or having fun at my expense?Just another lie?Another fucking mind game?God! How could I be so stupid?I hated myself even more than I hated him right now.“Angel…” h
On The Border 63
Lucas’s POVI thought losing dad and almost losing my brother and Jenny was the ultimate pain I’ll probably ever feel in this lifetime, but I was wrong. So freaking wrong.I was crushed right now to say the least. Devastated. Drowning in guilt and self blame.The raw pain I saw on her face and in her voice, filled me with agony. It fucking hurt, for real. My heart was aching, my chest was tightening, and my eyes were even watering.I ruined everything.My chance with her, mom’s special place in her heart, but most of all, I ruined her chances of being safe here with us and agreeing to live here for her own protection.There was no changing her mind now.She’s hell bent on leaving after we're done dealing with Zade.She wants nothing to do with me, not even my fake ID that I was going to provide for her. She probably even thought I was lying and deceiving her about it. That I was never going to get her anything.Whatever progress I made with her, to convince her that I genuinely had f
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