1. Unwanted

Athena

The first mistake I ever made was finding myself in a pack like the Lion’s Mane pack. The second mistake was being a female.

I’ve heard stories about my kind from other cities. It made me realize how much injustice there was in this world, especially in the village where I grew up in.

I witnessed the labour of one of the warrior's mate in the Gamma’s quarters one night—one of those nights I sneaked out of the cage called a home to breathe in fresh forest breeze.

I was eight, but I knew alot, since my father was a warrior. The rage in the eyes of the male gamma was so frightful you would think he wanted to devour the new born child in cold blood.

“it’s a girl, gamma Richard,” a woman announced as she stepped out of the wooden house with a fire stick in her hand and a slouching back. She was frail and old, I could tell she was one of those women that handled childbirth in the village, exceptionally skilled, so I heard.

“Impossible! How can she bring such shame to me. The seer swore I was gonna have a son!” the man raged as his voice roared into the night. I ducked from where I was, clutching the bark of the slender tree stem when he dashed past me.

I was scared he caught me that night. It would have been a different story for the eight-year-old me roaming about. After he left, the surrounding was less busy.

I tiptoed toward the house, standing by a window.

A room was dimly lit with a lantern on a small table at the center. My eyes travelled down to the silhouette of a woman sitting on the floor. Tears flowed down my eyes as I beheld the little creature wrapped in white wool, placed inside a basket few meters away from the woman.

They were tears of admiration. It looked so innocent and pure as it made subtle happy noise. It made me remember the birth of my younger brother, Carl. Then, there was noise from the main entrance of the house. I knew what it meant. We all knew. It was a female child. There was no way she was going to be allowed a normal life. I wondered why my pack hated females so much, especially females born outside the blood line of an Alpha or a superior warrior. My heart was sore as I saw a troop of men barge into the room.

“please, don’t take her away. Allow me touch her even if its going to be the last time.” The woman’s pleas were to no avail as they yanked the baby from one of the nurses’ hands who tried to yield to the pain of a mother about to loose her child forever. I didn t realize when I began to sob loudly until a voice asked from beside the window where I stood, “who’s there?”

I froze in surprise and fear and instinctively ducked to the ground. No one has caught me since I began my nightly quest for temporary freedom. Thankfully, there was a flower pot beside me, large enough to conceal my tiny body. I heard the footstep fade away as the other voices from within the house diminished, except the crying woman. I felt so much compassion for her. My mother had told me stories of that kind but I never believed them because I thought she wanted to instill fear in me just to keep me locked in that house. AS I planned to leave, the woman in the house stood from the floor where she sat and the next sound I heard was a gruesome cry. I walked around the house to satisfy my curiosity. Maybe I should have disobeyed my whims that night. I wouldn’t have had so much nightmares to deal with while growing up. The whole kitchen was flooded as the knife gradually fell from her hands. Blood gushed out from her belly as it travelled to meet the blood dropping from beneath her already dripping skirts. The night wasn’t cold but I developed a sudden fever as I stumbled my way out of the compound. My feet were betraying my speed but I didn’t stop regardless. I just witnessed another suicide. It wasn’t on the news. It was right before my very eyes. I threw up along the way as my brain couldn’t digest the gory sight. This would be me in few years to come, I whispered to myself as I dashed across the forest grounds. I was born a female, but my parents hid me from the eyes of the Alpha when I was born. I’ve been in hiding ever since. I don’t know how long was left until my secret would be discovered, and I’m not doing a great job at concealing my identity either, but the thought of my future keeps haunting me daily and making me more hardened.

“Where were you, Athena! Haven't I warned you severally about leaving the house?” my mother questioned in a disturbed whisper as I tried to sneak into my room unnoticed—it was too late. I corrected my posture as I stood upright. My limbs were frozen on the spot. I didn’t have an excuse this time. It was way past 11pm and I knew how dangerous it was to roam the forest at such a dangerous time. I whispered underneath my breath, “I’m sorry, mum” For the first time, I meant my apology. I just witnessed a disturbing scene. My mother’s fear for my life was justified. I turned to face her and fell to my knees. “I’m sorry, mum. I really am but Why am I girl, mother. Why didn't you make me a boy like my brother?” I wailed bitterly as I held on to my mother’s limbs asking for the impossible. “The moon goddess knows all. We can’t question her decisions. Now get up and go back to your room before your father finds out about this.” She helped me to my feet and pushed me into my room briskly. Immediately, I heard my father’s voice from behind my door. “who was that, Olivia?”

“nothing serious, my Lord. It was a wild cat,” my mother replied with a shaky voice—She feared my father more than I did.

“don’t you dare lie to me. I heard you speak with someone just now!”

The next reply I heard was my mother’s scream. “Where is she!” my father raged as he banged my room door open. I jumped on my bed before he came in, pretending to be asleep as I tried so hard to hold back my sob. It was not the first time my mother defended me. It was not the first time I heard her cry from my father’s pounches. The pain she went through because of me made me obey her for a while and remain locked up but something in me always wanted more. Something in me wasn’t ready to be caged. I choked my mouth with my bedspread to muffle my silent sobs as my father entered into my room.

“i hope you pretend to the Alpha the day you fall into his traps. Ungrateful bunch of shits!” he cursed angrily and slammed my room door close that made the windows rattle from the impact.

Few minutes passed. My eyes were still sore and wet. I stared vaguely at the full moon above a large palm tree beside my window from where I laid. I questioned whatever being was up there, watching all these happen. Then , my mother’s silhouette blocked my view. She sat at the edge of my bed. Immediately, I flung my hands around her neck as my tears increased, resting on both knees on the bed as I sniffed on her shoulders. I was deeply sorry for the pain I caused her.

“it’s okay, Athena. Just don’t put yourself in trouble. I don’t want you to end up like me.” I didn't understand what she meant.

I noded my head as she tried to pat me to sleep. I wanted to ask questions. I wanted to know why they chose to keep me hidden. I wanted to know why she allowed my father hit her because of my stubborness. Was I a special being or was I a curse never to be seen? Questions I wished I had answers to at such tender age. Just as my eyelids were falling, a terrible thunder vibrated the whole house. I flew out of bed and met the frightened look on my mother’s face. Only one person could make such fearful growl. He was around. Right in our house.