CHAPTER 2:GUILTY

I was dumbfounded and shivering from the cold when the bathroom door opened.

I didn't realize how long I had been soaking in the water.

"Maxine!" I heard Joyce shout and ran to hug me.

"Maxine? Are you alright?" I heard her ask.

 I just sobbed.

She took the robe and put it on my naked body. Then she hugged me tightly.

"Let's go. Get some rest" she lifted me with all her might and let me walk out of the bathroom.

"What do you think you're doing? You've been in the bathroom for five hours so I called Joyce. Are you planning to kill yourself?"

I didn't pay attention to Joel's preaching to me. I continued to his room and laid myself on the bed.

It's not that easy to deal with.

I felt heavy when I woke up the next morning. I am very cold and burning with fever.

I winced when I moved. The pain in my between are still there. I was even more discouraged. I wanted to convince myself that it was all just a dream.

"Maxine? Maxine" Joyce called me.

"You know you're not alone, right? You know what happened to me? But look at me now. I'm okay. It's because of you, Maxine. You didn't give up on me when I was depressed by the loss of my baby and losing your brother like a bubble"she said sadly. 

She took my hand and held it tightly.

"Come on. Maxine. I know you're strong so you'll eat it" she encouraged me to get up.

I bit my lower lip as tears fell.

"Maxine. We're not judging you, we're just kids and we're friends. You're not like the girl you think, okay?"she turned to me and hugged me.

Because of what she said, I was encouraged to get up. I'm not the only person with serious problems in the world.

"Come on. Eat first and then I'll give you some medicine" she helped me stand up and led me to the kitchen.

Joel greeted me with a smile as if nothing had happened.

"Don't think about that, Maxine. Let's just think of a solution to your problem," suggested Joel. Then he prepared me a breakfast.

I turned to Joyce who was smiling at me and she didn't let go of my hand that she had been holding for a while.

"Let's just go out. And go to the beach so we can enjoy our graduation" said Joel.

"I don't want to go out" I refused. I just want to sulk all day.

"No. Girl, you'll go with us" insisted Joel. 

I just held my breath.

I turned to Joyce who seemed to be okay. She has recovered somewhat from what happened to her.

"Joyce? Are you fine now?" I asked her. 

She held my hand tight and smiled at me.

"I have to be brave for you to imitate me"she said.

"What are you two doing, don't be like that? I don't know which one of you I'm going to hug first," grumbled Joel.

"It's just so painful. We both wanted what happened to us. But he suddenly left without telling me when he found out I was pregnant. He doesn't want the responsibility. It's so painful, because he didn't feel sorry for me when we lost our baby." Joyce's tears fell but she immediately wiped them away.

I don't even know where my brother went. I want to yell at him for what he did to my friend. He is very selfish and has no conviction.

I can feel the pain that she is going through, but we are in the same situation now.

"That's why Maxine. If anything happens, please take care of your child" Joyce turned to me.

I nodded at her. I'm not ready to have a child.I don't know what to do yet.

I fear the responsibility of being a mother.

With the responsibility of raising my child alone.

"That's enough. Prepare your bikinis to wear. Let's go to the beach. Let's have a different atmosphere" said Joel clapping.

Joyce shot Joel a look, so his mouth fell silent.

"Come on Maxine. Let's beat this gay man's gimmick!" Joyce yelled at her friend.

Looks like it's back to normal. Grumpy again.

I agreed to go too. Maybe my mind will clear when I taste the fresh air.

****

I just walked along the shore of the sea, while falling into deep thought. I breathed a sigh of relief and looked at the beach resort we went to.

The sand is so white and so fine, the sound of the waves hitting the sand is like music to my ears. There are also a few tourists bathing in the sea. How fun they are!

Before our graduation, we really planned to visit this place. It finally went through. We just didn't enjoy it as much as we expected.

The view is very relaxing and the air is very fresh. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a small hammock tied between two trees. I walked towards it.

I put on my sunglasses as I decided to sleep on the hammock for a while. The wind hitting my skin makes me very sleepy.

"I have to find her, Ivan. I got her virginity for pete's sake! so I have to hold her accountable"

Suddenly my chest heaved. Hearing what the man said made me fall back. I looked around to find the owner of that voice.

My pair of eyes saw two men talking in the distance. They were both wearing shades so I couldn't see their faces.

Turns out I'm not the only one who got my virginity. I feel that I have become sympathetic to my situation.

I didn't listen to what they were talking about that girl. I quickly left that place and returned to the Cabin we rented.

"What is your decision, Maxine? Are you coming home?" asked Joyce.

"Yes." I answered briefly.

"Are you sure? Are you going to tell them what happened to you?"

I turned to Joel who asked me a question.

"I-I don't know. They didn't raise me to lie and keep secrets. You know Mama and Papa, right?"

Joel and Joyce nodded at the same time.

"If I were in your situation, Maxine. I would hide. My idea is what they will do to you when they find out your secret and I don't want what I'm thinking to happen to you," said Joel.

I wonder how my parents will react when they find out my secret.My parents have been with me all my life. I was fed up with their preaching and they never failed to remind me.

My tears suddenly fell. And it didn't stop the series of drops.

I couldn't sleep because of the many thoughts that were popping up in my brain. I felt like my guilt was eating me up.