CHAPTER 1

Burbank

"Come on Marky, five more and you're done...”

"Yes, of course, since you are not the one who is suffering, right?” I answered breathlessly.

"I remind you that it was you who asked me for help.”  she countered, getting up.

“Livie, don't go please” I asked her from the ground, putting my glasses on, but she ignored me and kept walking “Don't be mean! At least help me up... okay?”

Livie stayed where she was with her back to me, we were just starting out and she had already regretted helping me; just five days ago I had asked for her help to exercise, because obviously, with forty kilos overweight, I was not in shape so to speak.

But Livie didn’t understand the reason for my strong decision to want to lose weight.

"If you want my help, first you're going to tell me why after eighteen years now you want to lose weight.”  She demanded without turning around.

“Do I need an explanation?” I asked exasperated “I mean, look at me! I'm a fat ball with arms and legs!”

“But what the hell are you talking about?” She yelled approaching me “you are nothing of what you said. Yes, you are chubby, but you are not a ball Marky” she answered calmer “I know you, tell me who spoke badly to you and what he said to you and I swear I will kill them!”

Your friends from athleticism when they saw me waiting for you at your practice last week...

"It was nobody Livie.”  I replied without seeing her “it doesn't matter, you can go, and forgive me for talking to you like that...”

"No.”  she cut me off "I want to help you, but you're not one hundred percent in this Mark, I'm not going anywhere until you answer me with the truth and then we can continue.”  She said with a smile on her beautiful face.

The truth? Well, the truth is that I’m in love with you since I was thirteen and you moved into the building and I want to shout it at all winds, but I don’t want to tell you because you only see me as your overweight and myopic best friend.

“You want the truth?” I waited for her to agree "Well, the truth is...”   tell her the truth, you idiot! "That... our graduation is coming and I want to look different in my last year.” I replied ashamed.

“Are you serious?” She asked not very sure, I just nodded "Well... then let's continue, okay?” I nodded again and she smiled evilly “You owed me five push-ups, but since you interrupted me in such a rude way... now you owe me twenty!”

“What?!”

“As you hear it, turn around boy, after this we’ll jump rope for about ten minutes and if I’m not too tired, we will run for another twenty minutes...”

She kept talking about her plans for today, but all I could do was moan and cover my face with my hands. The rope? To run? On a Saturday morning? Was she crazy? This woman was the best runner on the school's track team. She ran marathons for God's sake!

No, the one who had definitely lost his mind was me asking Livie for help on Monday after she finished her practices with the team, but I did it out of a fit of rage after she walked away from Daniel, Cindy and Hillary.

Five days ago...

“Quick Hillary, get the camera out!” Cindy said behind my back, "Here is super pig! Your favorite cartoon!”

At that very moment I knew it had been a mistake to wait for Livie, but she had asked me because, according to her, she wanted to ask me for a favor on the way home.

"Don't be mean, Cindy.”  Hillary replied, "you know Liv will be upset if we mess with her crush, Super Sumo.” they both started laughing like hyenas.

"Always on call to make you a personal clown, girls.” I replied, turning my back on them to get to the stands and wait for my friend.

“You see? He didn't deny it, if he's in love with her.” Cindy scoffed.

“He doesn’t have to deny it, it shows on his big face every time she’s with him. I mean, all the time my friend!” They kept mocking.

“Don't you have something to do like train instead of following me with your stupid things?” I asked sullenly as I turned to face them.

"Yes.” Hilary replied with a shrug, "but making fun of you when you're not with Liv is our favorite sport... and the funniest too.”

"Okay, greaseball with legs.” the evil was tangible in her voice "Do you really think Liv would notice you in any way other than friendly?” I couldn't help but think that her smile was devilish.

"What you think doesn't matter to me, Cindy.” I took a deep breath, my mother's voice echoing in my mind.

She’s a woman Mark, a man should not insult women.

But she was a woman who tested anyone's sanity.

“Goodbye...”

"You look at you and then you look at her.” she continued with her poison, "you, a meatball and she a noodle, can you imagine them having sex, Hill? The poor thing would end like a stamp!” She couldn't keep talking because of the laughter, but knowing that wasn't all, I turned around to the stairs’ direction as fast as I could.

"Let's see, idiot, don't let us talking to your filthy back.” she countered, following me, "Did you know she's stopped dating incredibly handsome and wealthy guys because of you?” I stopped at that and turned to see her without being able to hide the surprise “don’t get excited, sperm whale” she continued with slanted eyes “don’t think that’s because she sees you with different eyes, but because she feels sorry for you, she said it herself, right, Hill?” The aforesaid nodded like a lapdog “Liv is afraid that if she separates from you for a day, you’ll commit suicide” that thought left her pensive “although if you do, you would do us a favor, you know? With one less heavyweight in this world, the earth would return to its center of gravity...”

“What did I do to you, Cindy?” I asked, unable to hide the fact that her words hurt, but she didn't flinch, rather I thought I saw satisfaction in her gaze, apparently that was the idea, to hurt me.

“Oh! Poor Marky!” Hillary exclaimed before turning to her friend, "Cindy! You have hurt Marky with your words... or rather with the words of his Livie...” She continued with a singsong voice.

That last caught my attention.

“You not know?” Cindy asked innocently “we are Liv's confidants” she started laughing “She even told us that you’ve never kissed!” She yelled and they both laughed so hard that they really looked like hyenas “poor Marky doesn't know what it's like to be kissed, Hill, don't you think that’s pathetic?”

"It seems more pathetic to me that he told Liv.” Hillary answered, "as if she were going to do something for him.” She looked at me with mockery. “Give her so much pity she’d end up kissing you? Oh my God, Marky! You are eighteen years old and not even the flies want to be near you!”

That was all I could bear, I ran to the stands and made sure to look at plain sight so they wouldn't follow me; I felt a pain in my chest that I didn't know what to compare it to, had Olivia been able to tell my secrets to those women? Me Olivia? It couldn't be possible, but everything those women said was true, I adored her with my life, and I had never been curious to kiss another woman other than Livie, therefore, I knew that was out of my possibilities.

Another thing that caught my attention was that thing about the men and Livie. They didn’t approach her because of me? Impossible, Livie had had a lot of dates, she had told me herself.

Of course, she hadn't dated someone for months... unless she was keeping it from me, which I thought was impossible coming from Olivia.

All those thoughts were forgotten when I suddenly saw her... she passed like a gazelle down the track right in front of me, and when my impossible love finally stopped, she turned her gaze to where I was and smiled at me like the most beautiful angel, causing my heart to stumble in my chest.

She had her hair pulled back into a ponytail and she slanted her giant hazel eyes in my direction, in her track uniform consisting of an apple green sleeveless shirt and black shorts that highlighted her tanned skin from being in the sun so long. I knew that she used sunscreen, many times I had helped her to put on her shoulders, but the sun had left its trace on her, making her even more beautiful if possible, although I knew that her skin tone was very white just like mine, but unlike her, I exposed myself to the sun very little and my skin looked pale and sick.

Livie broke eye contact when she heard someone calling her before she headed to that place, I followed her with my gaze towards where she was going, noticing how she froze when she met Daniel Gómez, the basketball team captain, and although I wasn’t short with 7’10, it could be said that Daniel was more than five inches taller and he was considered a dwarf in front of the rest of the giraffes in the team, and not only did his height stand out in Daniel, it wasn’t necessary to add his Latin features because his Mexicans parents.

The son of a bitch could not be considered ugly even by a blind man; on the contrary, he looked like a fucking famous actor when he walked the corridors and women literally threw themselves into his arms. With brown skin, brown eyes and hair, the latter smooth and silky and always perfectly combed to his left side, Daniel had approached to speak with Livie, putting an arm around her shoulders with too much confidence.

Bastard.

I didn't even realize that my knuckles were white from how tightly I had clenched my hands.

 Why so comfortable with her?

Suddenly, Daniel looked up and saw directly at me and a lopsided smile appeared on his face, letting me see his intentions when, looking away from me, Daniel approached Livie with the intention of kissing her, and I felt myself dying right there.

I could not witness such an act, so I prepared to leave the place, when something left me stunned, one second Daniel almost had his disgusting mouth on the woman I lover, and the next he ended up with his face turned by the impact of Levies’ hand on his cheek which already showed the mark of four of her fingers on it and then Livie walked away to pick up her things, so I wasted no time fearing Daniel would approach her so I ran towards her.

“Are you okay, Livie?” I asked when I got to her.

“What do you think, Mark?” She growled back at me.

“Hey! don't be mad at me, okay? If I ask you, it's because I don't know.”

"I'm sorry.” She sighed, "let's go, okay?"

“You're done?”

“Yep...”

I took her bag from her as I always did and when she gave me one of her smiles, I felt faint. It always happened to me, but my happiness was tarnished when Daniel approached us with the face of a murderer.

“Why the hell did you do that, Olivia?!” He demanded shouting when he was in front of her.

“What did I do, Danny?” she ask innocently, "defend myself from your attack? Give you what you deserved?”

“Attack? Deserved?” He asked mockingly, "baby, you should feel flattered that I have laid my eyes and my interest in you knowing the kind of people you hang out with.” The latter was said looking cynically at me.

"Don't mess with him, Daniel.” Livie warned him, "he hasn't done anything to you.”

"Let's go Livie, we have homework to do.” I interrupted taking her by the arm.

Daniel burst out laughing at the action.

"I was right when I said you were a fag, Sanders.” he said without giving me time to reply "you're her gay best friend, right?” He continued “I imagine that today you will sit in bed watching some nonsense of the heart and painting your nails and criticizing Danny the bad guy who wanted to get on with the princess of your heart.” he finished sarcastically.

“Enough, Daniel.” great, this was what was missing “You're going to make Livie upset and then Mark will have to pay for the broken dishes.”

"And you know that if he has to clean, that means sweating, and sweating means losing weight and we all know that if Mark thinks about moving, he gets tired.” Hillary continued scathingly.

“What is this all about you and Mark? God!” Olivia exploded “I wish there were more people like him in the world, or at least in this place, you know why? Because of attitudes like yours, I'd rather be with Mark a thousand times than spend a minute with any of you!” She continued looking at Hillary and Cindy, "You guys are the worst! Mark didn’thing to you!” Without giving them time to answer, she took my hand to get us away from those idiots.

“Do you know what’s the worst?” We heard Daniel ask “That at no point did Liv's pet defend himself! We already know who’s the bitch in the relationship.” He laughed.

In the background the three of them could be heard making scathing comments about my weight and making comparisons to cows and pigs.

The truth is, that had been the most embarrassing moment in my life, and the worst thing is that Daniel was right, I never got to defend myself, I never returned the insults, I never said anything, on the contrary, Livie ended up defending me, as always.

I was so pathetic, this woman always got me out of the worst troubles; I really was his bitch.

“Marky, please don't listen to them, I really...”

"Livie.” I cut her off before she continued speaking.

“Tell me.”

"Help me.” I asked, stopping.

She stood in front of me, looking at me with a worried face.

“What's wrong? You feel bad? Are you going to pass out? We're close to the car Marky, don't worry...”

“No! " I said, startling her “sorry, it's nothing like that, it's just that... I need your help for something else" I completed looking at the ground.

"Marky.” Livie said taking my face in her hands “You're worrying me.”

"I want to lose weight, Livie.” I answered sheepishly even without looking up from the ground.

"Look at me.” she demanded and I had no choice but to look up hoping to find pity in her gaze, but what I found was... rage? “Why do you want to do that, Marcus?”

I swallowed nervously. I knew that, when she called me by my name and not by my diminutive it was because she was really upset.

"I'm so tired to look the same, okay?"

"You're not looking me in the face and with that I know you're lying.”

 “I want to lose weight to look different, Olivia Martin.'' I answered looking her directly in the eyes, although the truth was very different from that. I wanted to stop feeling ashamed or judged by her side. Instead, I wanted to feel happy, privileged and deserving of her affection...

 Maybe by being thin, she could feel something more for me and not just a simple friendship, right?

"Okay.” she said, pulling me out of my thoughts but looking still not very convinced, "We'll start on Saturday at 9 AM, and I don't want any excuses.” she completed with a smile.

"Thanks, Livie.” I said hugging her and giving her a kiss on the head, "you're the best.”

“Mark, no!” She said moving away “You know I just finished practice and I don’t smell very good.” she explained red with embarrassment.

“What are you talking about?” I said bringing her closer to me and hugging her even tighter “You are the only person who, even without showering for a week, would still smell like strawberries and cream” and without thinking, I buried my nose in her hair, then I felt she relaxed and wrap her arms around me.

"You’re the best, you know?” She murmured staring at me "God, I love your eyes!” She started laughing "Hey! you can hug me when I smell like a baby horse and I can't tell you that you have the most impressive eyes I've ever seen in my life? That's not fair!”

"We better get going, okay?” I answered opening the door for her, God! I felt completely blushed “On the way we can talk how you’re planning to kill me”

***

“Hey lazy! Stop daydreaming and do your missing push-ups” and with that, Livie brought me back to the roof of the building where we had set up an area to exercise “You left me talking to myself! That's not fair! What's more, i should increase your punishment and start squatting after jumping rope.

“No, please!” I moaned with pain "I can't even complete the push-ups and you already want to kill me.”

"Don't exaggerate, Marky, you were the one who asked me for help, you didn't think I would go easy on you, did you?"

“You? Condescending to someone? Don't make me laugh Livie.” I said looking into her eyes.

That was the moment.

"Livie...” I started saying "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, but then you'll do the push-ups.” she said sitting down next to me before taking off my glasses to clean them and put them back on.

"Sure.” I gulped nervously before pointing at my face "And thank you.”

She simply gave me a smile.

“What was the question?” He inquired a few seconds later.

“This... well... I wanted to ask you what you felt when...”

“When...?”

"When you...”   I cleared my throat as I spoke.

“What?” She asked smiling.

“What did you feel the first time someone kissed you?” I said asking hastily and feeling that I was transpiring even more than before.

As the seconds passed and imagining the most painful scenarios where Livie made fun in thousands of different ways, I raised my head to reformulate the question and I found the opposite, my eyes could not believe what they saw. before me there was a completely flushed Livie looking at her hands which were intertwined in her lap.

“Livie? Are you okay?” I inquired worried and trying to grab her hand, but she resisted “please forgive me, it was not my intention to bother you, it was just simple curiosity, I was stupid to ask you something like that I...”

"I don't know.” she interrupted.

“You don’t know? Don’t you know that? I don't understand” I said confused.

"That I don't... I don't know Marky” And then I understood, I was amazed.

“You mean you've never...?”

"I've never been kissed before, Marcus.”

Oh! Great, now I was not only in front of an embarrassed, red, and never kissed Livie, but also the super angry one.

Why did I open my mouth?