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2021-08-16 07:50:07Jeremy was very young at that time. And didn't know what to do. Couldn't make decisions for himself. All he did at that time was to please his parents and friends. He didn't want people to know that he was gay, interested in boys. He didn't know that it wasn't a wrong thing to follow one's heart, and not please people. He thought he was doing himself good, by pleasing everyone at that time. Little did he know he was going to regret his actions someday. Was going to wish he could turn back the hands of time, and undo alot of things. Take back the words he had said.
Jeremy could still remember that day, how he had made the boy cry. Though he felt bad over it, but thought it was the right thing he was doing. He felt his friends would be proud, and he laugh when he told them about how he had rejected O'Connell's love, after reading the letter he had wrote him. Because O'Connell was very fat, and put on weird clothings. Plus no one liked him, it was just pity h
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O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 13.
O'Connell decided to let these thoughts slide, because he knew the bell for first period would be rang to notify the students to hurry into their classes.He returned his eyes back to Jeremy, just in time to see Jeremy staring at him intensively. Even pleading with his eyes. Jeremy looked so sorry to him that he almost pitied him right at that moment.O'Connell flirted a little with a girl that came to talk to him, by letting her play with his tie. He did this, because he wanted Jeremy to think he was interested in girls. Because the same Jeremy had mocked him for being gay.O'Connell swallowed back laughter, when the girl pressed a kiss to his cheek. Though he had mastered the art of flirting with girls, even knew when to feign emotions, but that didn't mean he was interested in them. He had tried to be close to them, to see if they could attract him, and maybe, just maybe he wasn't gay. But it didn't work.
Last Updated : 2021-08-17O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 14.
O'Connell on the other hand was extremely uncomfortable, he acted bold and smart, but with Jeremy behind his back, he couldn't think straight. He still had a crush on Jeremy, despite how Jeremy had hurt him. But he knew there was no way, he was going to have anything to do with him. Jeremy was the boy who had rejected him. And having been he hadn't moved out to change, nothing would have changed. He would have been the fat, ugly, unloved boy who no one wanted. The boy who got rejected by him. O'Connell knew all of these, that was why he chose to leave.Staying with his mom wasn't easy for him. Marguerite was somewhat strict. Unlike his uncle Tosin and grandpa. O'Connell had to watch his weight, by eating less food. Something which was just twice in a day. In the morning, and evening. At first it was hard to stick to this new rule, he had wanted to burst into tears because he was finding it difficult to adapt to this new rule. But the looks he had received at his new sch
Last Updated : 2021-08-17O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 15.
O'Connell looked at Jeremy for sometime, then started recalling how he had developed a crush on him on his first day of kindergarten, when Jeremy had offered him his own milk, because his got spilled. Over the years, Jeremy had been quite acquainted with him, saved him from bullying. Something which generated his feelings for him. And at the end, Jeremy had hurt him.He could never forget his screams of hurt. How he had forced himself to vomit, to reduce the fat in him. How he had held his breath and stared at his mirror, hoping he could reduce a little in weight. But he had only looked like a balloon that was inflating at each timid tick of the clock. He had cried so hard, starved himself the first few days, after Jeremy had rejected him. And deprived himself off personal hygiene. He didn't even go to school, until he went to live with his mom."Dude, move the fuck out of my way." O'Connell raised his voice, hoping Jeremy would fina
Last Updated : 2021-08-17O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 16.
"Just stop. Stop okay? You pushed me away, six years ago." O'Connell reminded Jeremy, with his heart pounding with full force in his chest. He couldn't believe Jeremy just said he was inlove with him. And he didn't know why he felt excited, relieved and disappointed all together.O'Connell had longed for this six years ago. His nine years old self, had wanted Jeremy to tell him this. He knew he would have been over excited on that day, if Jeremy had told him he loved him. But it had to take six years, with he getting rejected by Jeremy, nights that were spent crying, starving and vomiting, and then gaining confidence, having the perfect body, and then moving back, it had taken all of these for Jeremy to realize that he loved him. And then he had summoned up the courage to tell him.What if he hadn't left? O'Connell wondered. What if he had gone to school on that Monday, after getting rejected by Jeremy on the Saturday evening. He felt things wouldn't have changed. He f
Last Updated : 2021-08-18O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 17.
What next Jeremy did surprised O'Connell, because Jeremy stretched forth his hand to O'Connell's hair, and O'Connell shifted backwards before Jeremy could touch his hair. Then he gave Jeremy a questioning look."I uh, was just trying to take dirt off your hair." Jeremy said, then blew out a big breath of frustration. It seemed he was already getting fed up with O'Connell's attitude towards him, but was still staying because maybe, just maybe he meant every word. O'Connell thought."I'm sorry, I don't like someone touching my hair." O'Connell said, and Jeremy knew O'Connell was lying. However, O'Connell asked Jeremy to still take the dirt off his hair. And watched Jeremy cautiously as attempted doing as he had instructed.Jeremy raised his hand up and then touched O'Connell's hair at first. Something which sent shivers down O'Connell's spine, and generated goosebumps on his every single pore.O'Connell took a hard dry gulp to be calm, because i
Last Updated : 2021-09-01O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 18.
They became quite acquainted again. From meeting at grocery stores, to Jeremy joining O'Connell in the morning, when he went out for his morning run.It felt like they were getting to know themselves again, because Jeremy had changed alot to O'Connell. And O'Connell, almost everything about him had changed.They spent time talking in class, and then Jeremy would stand in front of O'Connell's locker to wait for him whenever school dismissed. Because he knew O'Connell was going to go get his books, before leaving.Most times, they would skip school, and Jeremy would take O'Connell on his bike to go have a picnic somewhere.Soon, they became the talk on the school, because they were stirring gossips and being called gays. But the duo cared less. People really wanted to know what was ongoing between them.Jeremy gave O'Connell his first kiss, when they were outside one night, looking stars. O'
Last Updated : 2021-09-02O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 19.
Then O'Connell felt Jeremy gently grabbed his wrists."Hey, hey, I'm so sorry. I know I can't erase the insults and fix the damages." Jeremy looked away from O'Connell, discerning his sudden anger and distress, he let go of his wrists. "I'm fucked up, this is fucked up. I shouldn't have led you this far after the things I said. I'm really fucking so sorry, O'Connell. And it's okay if you don't want this with me. It's all my damn fault."Jeremy's shoulders sagged in sadness as he went to pick his clothes. He had withdrawn himself from O'Connell into his shell, like a vulnerable five year old who was rejected candies by his mom.O'Connell thought that he looked cute this way. Plus he could feel the anger departing from him.O'Connell sucked in his breath, having no clue on what was wrong with his brain. He had apologised to him right? Jeremy did apologise, and the way the boy was avoiding his eyes, made O'Connell's chest bubble with stupid emoti
Last Updated : 2021-09-03O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 20.
Then, Jeremy left O'Connell completely naked and let his fingers roll on his nipples, took one hungrily into his mouth, and sucked hard on it.Something which made O'Connell ached badly, as he cradled Jeremy's head.Jeremy took his weight off O'Connell after giving his left nipple the same treatment. And he stood up, searched for something inside his pant trousers, and brought out a condom.O'Connell let out a big puff of breath. Because it seem like Jeremy had planned it that day, and carried a condom.He wondered if there was any need for the condom, since he wasn't a girl.Then he thought about if Jeremy had sex Rebecca with a condom too.Of course he would. Rebecca is a girl, and you're a boy. O'Connell could feel his subconscious rolling his eyes at him.He then let his thoughts wander elsewhere, because he was beginning to get really uncomfortable with everything.What ever it is, we are meant to enjoy this mo
Last Updated : 2021-09-04
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O'Connell (Mending His Heart) Epilogue
Three months later.It was 10pm in the night, and I was heading home from work, hoping my roommate Bentley had already ordered some take out meal, when a car drove out of nowhere, just to obstruct me from getting to my apartment which was just two blocks away.It was quite odd that someone would do this. Maybe it was Penelope O'Sullivan who had sent someone to come abduct me, so she could torture me to her satisfaction.Or maybe not. Because I decided to cut off from my sexual relationship with Scott. I did it because I was already fed up. We were using ourselves just for pleasure. And maybe I wanted someone to genuinely care for me, and be mine alone.I tucked my hands inside my pocket, as I waited for the person to come out of the car.And right at that moment, someone hopped out of the car.He was as tall as I was, and had a huge trained physique. But I couldn't see his face properly, since it he chose to stand at
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 43.
Present.On the day of my mom's funeral was when I got to meet with Raymond and my siblings again, after eight good years of not seeing them.I had taken a flight from Ireland to Nigeria, and landed right in Lagos. Then I took a bolt and headed straight to my mother's house.Although it had been a long long while, but I still knew the roads to Raymond's home.Things were more advanced in Lagos, and I knew that I missed being in Lagos, because I grew up and had all of my childhood memories there.My three siblings were looking all grown, and the two older siblings had crashed into me with a bond crushing hug, despite they were still morning Mom. While the youngest just stood back and watched, with a sad facial expression on. He wasn't really familiar with me, because I had left when he was barely a year old.Grandpa and Uncle Tosin were really glad to see me. And it was sad that grandpa was aging really fast. He was now sevent
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 42.
Age 22Sweat dripped down O'Connell's face, down to his neck and his under arms, as he rapidly bounced the ball thrice and dribbled pass his opponents aggressively.Another opponent from his right made to take the ball, but he quickly did an ankle breaker crossover to his left. Where his teammate was and made to pass the ball to him. But O'Connell decide against it, because he felt the boy damn sluggish and less calculating so he changed his mind and dribbled down the court, with his heart thumping loudly in his chest.When he was quite close to the opponents net, he didn't jump, he just threw the ball and watched as it glided through the net and bounced on the floor.They were ten in Number who had arrived at the basketball court that evening and the coach splited them into two groups and made them play against eachother.The game finally came to an end, and O'Connell's group won the other group.In his group, O'Connell scored 1
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 41.
After graduating out of National University of Ireland, Galway, O'Connell chose to stay in Galway. He got an apartment of his own, and did minor jobs, because he had it at the back of his mind that he was going to head back to Drogheda, to work and stay there. His father had been more than supportive to him, and O'Connell was really glad he took the bold step, to look for him. Being the heir to his dad's companies, he decided to not stay with his dad and brother, since he wanted to work for himself and earn his own money. He was to inherit most of his dad's possession at 26.O'Connell missed his mother, Raymond and siblings. He hadn't completely cut off all ties with them, but he chose to stay away. He felt since his mom couldn't accept him for who he was, then there was no way he was going to go back to her and her family. Although he felt really sad, because Raymond had treated him like his own father.O'Connell had even developed an Irish accent himself, since he wa
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 40.
Thomas, that was his name right? O'Connell wondered, as he looked at his kid step brother. Who was purely Irish and not a biracial like him. Plus the boy was really handsome. His blonde hair was skin cut. And he was chubby. Still had that round baby fatness on his cheeks, arms and stomach.The kid as if sensing being watched for the second time, looked at O'Connell and offered him a smile. With chocolate stained all over his chubby round cheeks.Not that O'Connell didn't love his siblings from his mom's side, but he just felt there would be a bond between him and this kid. Well, that would be if he would by accepted by his father.He shoved his fists into his pants pockets, then tucked his tongue inside his cheek to feel the soft silk-like flesh. Trying to make himself feel relaxed a bit.What if his dad denied him, and sent him away. Would he return back to Nigeria to meet his mom? He doubt he would. He even made the decision to look for some job a
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 39.
How would his family take this? Does he have a wife? Does he have kids? How would they all look at me? What if I get seen as an enemy and gets rejected?That would be if he had a family. O'Connell thought.He closed his eyes, then let out a big puff of breath. Wanting so hard to stop himself from feeling that way.Closing the car door shut at his side, he curled his fingers into fists then clenched them hard. That he could detect slight cracking sounds from them, with his ear.He was beginning to wonder if he made the wrong decision by coming over to meet his dad, who was a total stranger to him.As they made their way into the house, O'Connell was awed by it. It was so high and wide with beautiful deco and modern expensive looking furnitures. The house spoke of wealth. There were big beefy body guards, surrounding the house. Plus the security guards were up to five.O'Connell began wondering if his dad was someone drug Lord or mafia. And th
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 38.
After searching for his dad, for a week, O'Connell finally found someone who claimed he knew where O'Connell's dad was.O'Connell began wondering how his father would act, after seeing him. He had only seen a picture of his father, when the man was eighteen or so. And the color of the picture was black and white. The man's name was Adolphus.O'Connell's mother had lied she had a one night stand, with some stranger in Ireland, when she went visiting , and had no idea she was pregnant until she came back to Nigeria.The man horned and it interrupted O'Connell from his mind traveling down that memory lane. It seemed like he had zoned out throughout the drive on the streets. Because he was currently in the man's car, and they were heading to his dad's place.And at that moment, they were right in front of a huge black gate."Is this where my dad lives?" O'Connell asked, turning to look at the man.And the man replied him with just a firm nod.
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 37.
So O'Connell, after finally getting his biological father's picture and name from his mom's safe, he started off his journey to go in search of his father. With the help of his Grandma Estella, who help flew him out of Nigeria to Drogheda, Ireland.The place seem cool, and people barely paid attention to him. Because he was like them too. His hair, his skin color. And he felt a tad better and didn't feel out of place anymore.It was hard to find his father, because he was all alone in somewhere he had never been before. He just had the name and photo of his dad. And it was really hard for him. Being sixteen and all alone in Ireland with just his backpack, and important items inside the backpack.He had blocked Raymond and his mom's numbers from calling him. Having decided that it was high time he start making decisions for himself.
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 36.
"Do you want to go back to London? Your grandma Estella would agree to that, if I talk to her." Raymond suggested after a long pause of thinking. And O'Connell was forced to let his thoughts travel back to London.***He found himself watching the boys, and felt his face forming into a slight scowl when the teenage girls left their table to go meet the boys, and flirt with them openly. He couldn't help staring, as the three girls sat down with these boys, smiling widely. With a waitress hovering around their table, taking their orders.One of the girls, flipped her long black hair over her shoulder, as she talked to the one with black hair in a pony tail, and lip piercing. Her eyes lit up, as she carried on staring at him with admiration. Not even feeling ashamed that she was making a fool of her self, which made her seem cheap.O'Connell thought about how life was, in Nigeria. Of course it was fun. He cou
