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Chapter Twenty-One-The Beginning
Last Updated:
2022-06-09 01:00:40
Brittany CarterI'm working on adding to this, because my editor needs it to be WAY longer. I will be adding to it in the upcoming weeks! Thank you for reading!
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Not Yours To Hold Chapter One - The Crash
Chapter One- Jane I sat with my back to a hard, plastic airport seat and my knees tucked against my chest. My entire Spanish II class stood around in a semi-circle with giddy laughs and thoughts of an entire week in Andalucía, Spain in the name of learning. As badly as I wanted to be happy, I couldn't think about anything other than Remy Hanes, my boyfriend's best friend, and how he kissed me two weeks before. No matter how many times I told myself that it was a careless act of alcohol and late night delusions, I knew that wasn't true. The two years I'd spent with Lucas Johns made me feel content, safe and desired. Now that safe feeling wasn't enough, because Remy held me a if I was his and every touch of his hand sent me higher than I'd ever been. So high I felt my body quiver from the need to feel grounded again. No matter that I tried to blame it on the alcohol, we both knew it wasn't just that. His rough palms stripped me of any insecurity I wore on my sleeve. His dark eyes pie
Last Updated : 2022-04-05Not Yours To Hold Chapter Two-Present Day
Chapter Two - Remy"Hanes, lunchtime."I glanced up from the roof we worked on, and covered my palm over my eyes, to see Timmy waving me down."Be down in a second," I hollered, grabbing my hammer and tools before climbing down the ladder.Timmy sat on the tailgate of his truck, leaned back against his palms, his short legs not touching the ground.The hot Texas sun beamed down on me, so I ripped my shirt over my head and wiped my face with it. I grabbed my spare t-shirt hanging from my back pocket and slid it on."You want to go to Lucas' for lunch?" he asked.The name still shot nerves down my back to this day. After we got back from Spain, Lucas' Momma opened a restaurant in his name.It was southern food, fried chicken and blueberry pie, his favorite kind. To support his Momma, I went to eat th
Last Updated : 2022-04-05Not Yours To Hold Chapter Three-Present Day
Chapter Three-Jane"You look amazing."I twirled in my knee-length blue and white striped skirt, and examined myself in the floor-length mirror in my bedroom.I tucked my white t-shirt into my high waist skirt, and my white opened-toed wedges gave me a few inches that I needed. My braid hung near my ribs, over my shoulder, and my bangs drew attention to my eyes.I looked cute, a little under-weight for my age, but overall good—on the outside at least. The things that ran rampage on the inside were a different story all together.Stephanie, my first cousin, sat on my bed behind me, a supportive smile on her face. She'd been my rock when I came back home after the crash. It was because of her I had
Last Updated : 2022-04-14Not Yours To Hold Chapter Four-The Crash
Chapter Four -RemyJane's head rested against my lap while I stroked her dark hair from her face. After thirty minutes of realization that ended with screams, rants and cursing, she fainted onto the sand.I knew it wouldn't be long before she broke down. At first, nothing seemed real. Not the crash, the situation or everyone's deaths, but the little girl crying broke through Jane's shield and everything spiraled afterward.She moved after a few minutes, looking up at the darkening sky. "Where are we going to sleep?" she asked.I glanced over at Taborie sitting on a broken log, sharpening what looked like a rock into a spear.
Last Updated : 2022-04-27Not Yours To Hold Chapter Five-The Present Day
Chapter Five -JaneRain soaked my clothes to the bone. I'd never been one to be afraid of a little water, but this was pure Hell. Not only did the rain leave me with a shiver but the wind left my teeth chattering.Sarah curled into me, what extra clothing we found swallowed her tiny frame. It hurt my soul to do it, but I let Remy wrap his big arm around my waist and hold me close. His warm breath on the back of my neck felt like a little drop of water to the driest desert.I hated hating him. I hated myself for fighting with him because I knew he was right. I took out my frustration on him when really I was mad at this entire situation and myself.Since I couldn't sleep, my mi
Last Updated : 2022-04-27Not Yours To Hold Chapter Six-The Present Day
Chapter Six -RemyJane disappeared out into the night, leaving an entire room full of people speechless. Mrs. Johns said something beneath her breath and chased after her.I wanted to follow her, but I knew Jane well enough to know she was already gone. Mrs. Johns walked back a few moments later shaking her head. "Y'all go ahead and finish eating. I guess the talk of Lucas was too much for her."I felt like a dickhead for touching her.Who was the selfish one now?When I saw her standing in front of me after three years, I f
Last Updated : 2022-04-29Not Yours To Hold Chapter Seven- The Present Day
Chapter Seven -JaneDespite my many attempts to tell my mother I felt fine, she called again an hour later."Everything okay?"I sighed, resting my elbow on my knee and bracing my forehead against my palm. "Momma, I'm fine, I swear. I'm going to go to the school today and setup some of my classroom.""That'll be fun. Why don't you ask Stephanie to come, and y'all can go eat afterward?"I wasn't born yesterday, and I knew this was one of her many attempts to get me to eat with a chaperone. "Mom, I want to be alone today. It's my first time in my classroom. I don't want
Last Updated : 2022-04-29Not Yours To Hold Chapter Eight-The Crash
Chapter Eight - Remy"Another rabbit?" Taborie asked from the fire pit.I tossed the bunny by its ears toward the sand and sunk to my knees, ripping off my t-shirt and wiping my forehead with it. The sun was brutal mid-day and I felt myself needing water more every second. It took a while to gather the water from the stream and boil it but it would keep us alive."Yeah, seems the Boy Scouts taught me something."Sarah jumped on my back, causing me to fall forward with a laugh. "Looks like a monkey found me," I said, swinging her around.Her bright blue eyes reminded me of Jane's, only Sarah's didn't look sad near as often. "You caught another bunny?" she asked, sinking to her knees and licking her lips. Knowing she was hungry hurt me. "Yep, and you get the first bite, how about that?"She jumped. "Yeah!""Let us clean 'em and we'll call you when it's ready. Where is Jane?"Taborie tossed his head toward the woods. "She said she wanted to grab some rocks to spell out help on the riverba
Last Updated : 2022-05-03
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Not Yours To Hold Chapter Twenty-One-The Beginning
Chapter Twenty-One - JaneRemington hollered from downstairs for me to hurry. He needed to understand it wasn't as easy to pick out what I wanted to wear as it was for him.He looked good in everything.I bounded down the stairs, twirling my way into the living room. "I'm ready, da-umn," I said. Remington pressed his palms to the back of the sofa, his dark eyes raking me of every piece of clothing I took forever to pick out. "You look damn good," he said.I twirled a piece of hair around my finger and winked at him. Things were different than they were but in a good way. It'd been three years since Mrs. Johns passed, leaving us with the restaurant and her house. I couldn't stand the thought of living in the house Lucas grew up in, so we let my mother move in, because she'd lived in that rundown shack for far too long.We owned the restaurant but let my mother's best friend manage it because we trusted her and knew she'd take care of it. Not that we didn't stop by to eat every other nig
Not Yours To Hold Chapter Twenty-The Present Day
Chapter Twenty - Remy"Hanes, you got a phone call."I felt in my pocket for my phone, realizing it wasn't there before I climbed down the ladder from the roof.My boss handed me his work phone, and made a gesture for me to wrap it up. Roger was a no-nonsense kind of man. It'd been a good few months since I started, but I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize my position."Hello?""Remington.""Jane, baby, what is it? You know my boss gets pissed when I'm on the phone—,""Mrs. Johns is in the hospital about to die."My hammer fell to the ground. Die? Was she sick? Has there been an accident? "What? How do you—,""She called me and asked for us to come see her quickly." Jane's voice broke at the end. She must not have long."I didn't even know she was sick, what's the matter with her?""I don't know, but we need to go see her now.""Okay, which hospital?"I flew from the outskirts of Dallas toward the Baylor Scott & White Medical Center uptown. Jane met me downstairs in the lobby an
Not Yours To Hold Chapter Nineteen-The Present Day
Chapter Nineteen - JaneTwo weeks went by when Remy received the call that he got the job. He applied for a local roofing company not long after the fight with Steven.He assumed Mrs. Johns' hated him, I didn't think that was the situation, but I couldn't blame him for not going in, because I hadn't been to see her either.Remington gave up his apartment in the name of savings so that we could get out of the slums, and he moved in with me. It felt foreign to have him there with no guilt or fear of someone finding out.Or the guilt of Lucas.It still hit me occasionally when I was alone that Lucas might be looking down, but for some reason, I didn't feel like he would mind. I was happy, that was all I wanted for him, and I hoped he wanted that for me, too.Stopping at the entrance to the brick building in front of me, I glanced up at the ceiling length glass windows and took a deep breath.I didn't want to go inside. I'd been trying my hardest to keep away from spilling my guts about t
Not Yours To Hold Chapter Eighteen-The Present Day
Chapter Eighteen - RemyI glanced at the bruise on my face and sighed. The loser got me good. I decided not to go to Jane's after work since I'd been in a fight.I didn't want her to think I was falling down that road again. That wasn't the case this time. I went straight home, turned off my phone and slept. I was tired on the inside. It'd been a long time coming to be with Jane, now someone else stood in our way, and it didn't make sense why he was so adamant on getting her.Would there always be an obstacle for us? Was she really not mine to hold after all? Jane was beautiful, but I'd never go after a girl that showed no interest in me for years. What was that about?I called in sick to work, not wanting Mrs. Johns to see this fresh bruise. The icepack I put on my eye took most of the swelling down by the next day, and I felt good enough to grab supper at the diner.My refrigerator was empty, so I planned to tell Mrs. Johns I'd been sick to my stomach and hit my eye on the porcelain
Not Yours To Hold Chapter Seventeen-The Present Day
Chapter Seventeen - JaneStephanie clasped her hands together and squealed. "You look great."My dress was floor-length but tight around my waist to draw attention to my curves.I hadn't been shopping for clothes in years. Seeing myself in the mirror, I felt like the person I once was. When Stephanie called about a dinner at my aunt and uncle's house for graduation, I didn't really want to go.The last graduation celebration hadn't turned out the way I wanted it to. Then she showed up with this dress and I felt giving into the desire to go. "Can I bring a date?" I asked, looking at the clock on the wall. Remington got off over an hour before but I hadn't heard from him.I didn't pretend we made anything official or he couldn't go to his house, but he normally text me. Stephanie played with the end of her braid, and made a face."It's just a little gathering; you don't really need a date."That was her way of saying Remy didn't need to come.I dropped my hands from straightening my dre
Not Yours To Hold Chapter Sixteen-The Crash
Chapter Sixteen - RemyThe doctor escorted me toward the lobby where Taborie slept. We'd waited for her to wake up for two days. We took turns sleeping, but I didn't get much. Every time a nurse walked by, I'd ask about her status with no luck.Now she was awake and blaming herself for Sarah's death.When everything hit her — I saw, the lifelessness take over her eyes. She looked like a zombie—but in this case, it rooted from the inside.Taborie stirred after a while, sitting up, he palmed his forehead and glanced at me. His long hair pulled back into a half ponytail, and he looked better than I felt. They'd checked us out, and besides dehydration on everyone's part, Jane had the worst of it.When they fed us, I felt I could eat the entire hospital's cafeteria but only ate half of my plate before I felt full."She woke up," I said."How is she?"I shook my head.He frowned. "Not good, huh?""She remembered Sarah almost immediately."It'd been Hell seeing Jane lying on Sarah, their fin
Not Yours To Hold Chapter Fifteen- The Crash
Chapter Fifteen- JaneIt'd been over a week when I felt my insides turn against me. The vomiting went on for hours at a time. There was no secret my leg was infected. My skin began to turn blue and purple well into my thigh and toward my knee.The chills came and went, leaving behind sweat and shivering that lasted for hours at a time. The dry heaving hit the hardest with an empty stomach. Remington didn't leave my side. He sat underneath the hut, watching me hurt with a pitiful look on his face, because for once there was nothing he could do to save me.Taborie woke feeling better two days after eating the wolf meat. That'd been hard to watch him ache and hurt, too."You can leave her, Remy, I'll watch her."Remy shook his head, lips pressed into a tight line that made him look mean. "I can't leave her here," I heard him whisper. "Why the fuck is this happening to her?""You told her we were gonna get out of here no matter what, I'm fine, now get your ass to the trail so we can get h
Not Yours To Hold Chapter Fourteen-The Present Day
Chapter Fourteen - Remy"You look happier today."Adrianna stood by the server stand and stared, chewing her gum like it offended her."I agree," Mrs. Johns said from the door where she locked it. "Did you finally take my advice and go out with a girl?"I tried to keep my face neutral, not wanting either one of them to pry into my life. If Jane and I decided to stay together and try to make it work, we wouldn't tell Mrs. Johns right away. I couldn't imagine having that conversation so soon, especially so soon in our relationship. I didn't want Mrs. Johns to think I was jumping into bed with her, because that wasn't the case.I wanted her to know I'd take care of Jane."A guy can't be happy?" I asked counting my tips.Mrs. Johns snorted. "Not you, apparently," she said.I shot her a look. "Maybe it's my amazing new job that I'm enjoying."Adrianna laughed. "Yeah, right. I know you were about to spit in that guy's food tonight that called you over ten times—it's a girl," she said, grabb
Not Yours To Hold Chapter Thirteen-The Present Day
Chapter Thirteen - Jane"Wake up."Wolves surrounded me, cornering me against the edge of a cliff overlooking the mountains. Red eyes hunted me, waiting on me to move so they could tear me apart for their dinner."Wake up!"I scurried backwards, rocks tumbling over the edge toward the rocky bottom. This is it, I'm about to die. All the brutal days with no food and soul sucking heat meant nothing because it's all ending now."Wake the hell up! Please, Janey!"The wolves stood with their heads high, teeth reveal underneath bloodstained lips. I was out of moves—nowhere to go. The only choices in front of me where to fall to my death or be eaten alive. I wasn't sure which one sounded worse."Janey!"I gasped, sitting up in my bed, bracing my palms against the mattress to ground myself from the dizziness. Sunlight shown through the slit from my blackout curtains in my bedroom and blinded my view."Janey."Remington sat on his shins beside me, concern all over his face while he searched my
