Hidden Past

Viola

Winter... It holds a very dear place in my heart, but so does spring. It is the moment winter starts to lose its hold and gives way to warmth, allowing the plants to grow. As for winter, I guess I couldn't just imagine Christmas without snow and all, but it wasn't just the plants being able to grow that made me love spring, it was the fact that, during spring many years ago, I realized just how selfish I used to be.

*******

" Come on Viola! It's starting!" Enola said to me as we both got off the bus in our simple short dresses, but I didn't want to go. I didn't even know why she talked me into going to prom! I bet no one would've noticed if I hadn't shown up.

" Enola..." I said nervously as I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked at her shyly.

" Aww come on, this is prom! Look - we're nerds, that's for sure, but don't we get to enjoy one last night having fun and doing whatever the hell we want?" She said as she folded her arms and stared at me expectantly.

" Besides, once we get in college, it's gonna be back to being nerds again and that's bleak as hell! C'mon Viola let's go! We're already here." Jada, another of my friends, said to me and I sighed.

I remember not wanting to go, I remember wanting to tell them that parties were not my thing and that I was very comfortable living with the fact that I never went to prom - and that was exactly what I planned on saying until... I saw him - that devilishly handsome bastard that ruined my life.

He stepped down from his car with his ex, Gina, as his date, though I could see that he was clearly irritated by her. I knew he was mad at me, I couldn't keep my mouth shut the last time we were together and Gina caught us. The only reason he was going to prom with her was that I begged him to do whatever she wanted just so Kade would never find out about my unfaithfulness to him.

I didn't know why I was this way with Klyde. I thought I hated him - yet I found myself wanting him more than anything else. He was the one I loved, but he didn't even think about me in that way, and it was my desperation to make him realize that he loved me and wanted me that made me agree when his younger brother, Kade, asked me to be his girlfriend.

I accepted and had been dating Kade for two months, but the closest I came to getting Klyde's attention was him sneaking me into his room almost every chance he got to have mind-blowing sex - but he still never said he loved me or wanted me to be his girlfriend.

I watched as Klyde motioned for Gina to go without him, and then he shut the door and ran his hands through his silky, ebony hair. But the frown on his face slowly turned to this wicked smirk and his blue eyes sparkled, making me wonder why.

" Oh shit!" I said when I realized he was looking at me.

" Seriously? After everything we said, the best answer you could come up with was that?" Jada said she was always the first to get tired of my cowardice and bail on me.

" Enola, she wants to go home. Let her go!" She said with an eye roll, but Enola shook her head.

" Viola, at least come with us because of Kade. He's your boyfriend and I bet he'd want nothing more than to see you here tonight." Enola said, and I sighed, she always knew how to guilt-trip me with Kade, and it was working.

" Fine. Let's go," I said and looked over to where Klyde had his car parked, but he wasn't there.

" Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Harold High prom 2010!" I heard the MC announce as we entered the hall and the whole place went wild.

" Oh my gosh, this is so cool!" Enola declared excitedly while I frowned.

I felt like we looked like maids compared to the other girls who dressed in classy gowns and wore expensive hairdos and jewelry. Occasionally they would stop and stare at us but Enola and Jada didn't even notice.

" Well well well, if it isn't the power puff girls..." Gina said as she stopped in front of us with a smirk.

" Hi, Gina!" Enola said, nervously, but Gina just looked at her with a disgusted expression on her face before she looked at me - the victim of her constant bullying.

" You know, I didn't think you'd come, Vee-Vee." She said and tugged on my hair with her nails. Her smile became mischievous as her eyes landed on my neck and I looked away from her.

" You and Klyde must've been so busy last night. I wonder what Kade would think of that. " She said with a wicked smile as she waved at Kade who had just entered the hall and was desperately looking for none other than me.

I panicked and held Gina's wrist, "Please, Gina! It's not what you think! Please don't tell Kade."

" Don't tell me what?" Kade whispered from behind me and I jolted in fear because I didn't think he would be here this fast!

" Umm... Nothing" I said and exchanged nervous smiles with Enola and Jada, who looked confused as hell about why I was begging Gina.

" Viola, I'm so sorry that I couldn't pick you up from your place today, Klyde..." Kade was saying, but he stopped abruptly and stared at my neck.

" How did you get that?" Kade asked as he pushed his glasses up to settle on that perfectly pointed nose he shared with his brother - jeez why was I even thinking about Klyde??

" Interesting story Kade... I would love to tell you ALL about it." Gina said before she smiled at him and walked away.

Kade looked confused and so innocent that I felt so evil about what I did. He was Klyde's twin brother and that was the reason I agreed to date him -I saw in him the version of Klyde that could love me. Not the one who only wanted sex from me and the fact that Klyde got his way with me when it came to sex was just so embarrassing whenever I thought of it.

" Babe... What's she talking about?" Kade asked as he held me by my hand and pulled me away from Enola and Jada.

I looked into his blue eyes before I summoned the courage to lie to him.

" Seriously? You gave me a hickey, and you don't even remember doing it?" I said with a shy smile and his eyes lit up with excitement.

" I'm sorry love. I had no idea that I wanted you that badly, I only meant to kiss your neck." He said as he used his fingers to feel the spot.

" It's okay, I liked it," I said and he smiled, revealing his dimples.

I hated having to lie to him like that. But I couldn't just tell him that I'd been sleeping with his brother - whom he absolutely despised!

" You know, I was thinking... that after tonight. I - if you w-want umm... That we should maybe have our first time at our spot by the lakeside." He said sweetly and I stared at him.

"Y-you mean sex?" I asked and we laughed nervously. God! We were both so awkward.

" I need to use the restroom, I'll be back," I said when I couldn't bear the awkwardness anymore and I literally half-ran on my way to the ladies' room only for someone to pull me into an empty class.

" Shhhh! It's me..." I heard Klyde's deep voice say before he crashed his lips on mine, kissing me with maddening desire. I couldn't understand him, he treats me like crap when everyone is looking, but when they were not, he can't keep his hands off of me.

" Let go of me Klyde - we're at school!" I protested weakly, but he laughed in my mouth and started to kiss my neck until he got to the spot where he'd given me a hickey last night and I gasped.

" Like we've never done it here before," he said as he started slipping his hands under my dress.

" Klyde please..." I begged and he grunted.

" Fine, just get out!" He lashed out at me and turned his back against me.

" Klyde... I didn't mean it like that. I just can't keep doing this to Kade. He loves me..."

" And I don't?" He asked and held onto my waist, but I knew he didn't mean a word.

" Klyde... We both know you just want to fuck me." I said, my eyes now getting watery because the truth hurt.

" And that's a bad thing? You don't want that?" He asked, his blue eyes were fixated on me, and for a split moment, I thought he was finally starting to get it.

" Wait... Do you have feelings for me?" He asked, looking amused.

" Stop it, Klyde! That's unfair! You know that I love you", I suddenly blurted out, unable to take it anymore.

" That's fucking bullshit, Viola! You're dating my twin brother!"

" Only because he looks like you! And also... b-because I thought you'd come around if I dated him," I said, wiping the tears that fell on my cheeks.

Klyde stared at me in awe and the class became quiet for a while.

" Whoa, that's fucked up. I mean I hate my brother, but I'm starting to think you hate him more...dating him because he looks like me?" He said as he licked his lips, ran his hands through his hair, and smirked as though he was impressed by my selfishness.

" I know it's messed up and that's why... I just can't do it anymore." I said, but before the words were out of my mouth he glared at me.

" What exactly do you want from me, Viola?" He asked in a slightly irritated tone.

" I want you to tell me that you want me to be your girlfriend! Not fucking me in secret and then treating me like I'm a plague in public." I said and he sighed.

"You're right ... I think I've prolonged this for too long. It's time I did the right thing." He said, and I held my breath, waiting for him to ask me out.

" I can't do that, Viola, we're literal opposites. I'm rich, you're poor. I'm popular, and you're just a nerd who was fortunate enough to come with a pretty face... You're not my type, but you're good in bed and that's it." He said to me with no expression on his face. Not even a hint of remorse was in him after he said it! He was the first guy I'd ever loved and slept with, and he knew that was a big deal to me, so how could he look me in the eye and say that?!

" How can you say that to me?" I asked as the tears I'd been holding back poured down my cheek. My heart felt like it'd just been stabbed, and I could barely breathe, but he just looked at me like I was overreacting and walked out of the class.

I was a fool. It was obvious from the get-go that Klyde didn't give a damn about me! And there was nothing I could do to change his mind.

Or maybe there was...