When the washer is finally done. I shove all my clothes into a cart with wheels and head off in search of a dryer. After finding two dryers and getting all my clothes in them a voice appears behind me, “Make sure you temp test those.” I turn facing the boy from earlier with the same grin plastered on his face while checking his dryer. “who are you? The dryer police?” This makes him laugh out loud. “Just trying to help a friend.” I fold my arms across my chest, “We're not friends, I don't even know you.” He smiled and takes a step closer extending his hand, “People around here call me Surge.” “Surge?” I raise my eyebrow and place my hand in his. His hand is rough, calloused from hard work. My heart skips a beat, “I'm Katherine.” He smiles, “Katherine. Now we're friends. You're not from around here huh?” I shake my head and jerk my hand from his once I realized he was still holding it. “Where you from Kat?” He leans across the table getting closer to me. “Katherine, I am from California.” He slowly makes his way around the table and I start to back up, “Alaska is such a weird place to end up after being in California.” My back is pressed against the dryer as he slowly inches closer, “Well, I had no other choice.” He laughs looking at me pressed against the dryers, “Do I scare you?” I quickly retorted and composed myself, “No.” Is all I managed to get out before another voice joins our conversation, “Surge! My man, I need something from you. Come on, please.” He holds up his hand to the other guy dressed similar to him. “Come with me. You've got at least an hour to kill.” The hesitation in my answer made him laugh again. “Come on Princess, I don't bite. Unless you want me to.” He grabs my hand and pulls me after him.
He opens the door on a 1995 blue GMC Sierra, “Climb on in.” He helps me carefully into the middle seat of a very tight-fitting truck. His thigh rests against my thigh making my heart race. His friend climbs in next to me on the passenger side. “All right Surge, Drive to my crib.” He backs out of the parking lot and heads shortly down the road into a trailer park. We stop at number 37. A dirty run-down trailer sits covered in foam-type stuff. A girl about our age opens the door, “Buddy. Hi Surge.” She looks at him with goo-goo eyes. Inside Surge wraps his arms around me tightly. Keeping me pulled close to his body. We follow Buddy to the back of the trailer through a sea of people sitting on random couches. “Close the door.” Buddy ushers towards me so I close it quickly avoiding the stares coming at me from down the hall. Buddy pulls out a beat-up wad of money “Ok man, you got?” Surge digs around his pockets and pulls out a few different baggies. Buddy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He pulls out a hand-rolled-looking cigarette. The smell of marijuana instantly fills the air. Surge holds it out to me and I just stare at his hand. Never once have I used drugs, nor have I ever been faced with it. Surge hands it off to buddy not taking his eyes off me. Buddy quickly inhales and hands it back to surge. “Yeah man, I just need a fix, leave the pills and the coke.” Surge carefully weighs things out before putting them in a ziplock baggy and then in a paper bag. Oh god, I'm witnessing a drug deal. Buddy hands over several hundred dollar bills before taking the baggies from Surge. “Here man, we'll catch you later.” He carefully snakes his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer. We walk back down the hallway. I look at the floor careful to not meet anyone's stares.
Back in his truck, I've never felt more relieved and anxious before in my life. He drove us quickly back to the laundromat. I open the door of his truck before he even has the chance to put it in park. “You ok?” His words drip with concern. “Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry.” He grabs my hand lightly. “let's talk, you still got time.” He pulls me back to the middle seat so our legs are touching. “So Katherine, what brings you to this fine state?” I look away from him, not knowing exactly what to say. “My uncle and his daughter live here. Uncle Richard is my last living relative.” He took my hand in his and turned it over in his, “I know the feeling, I have aunts and uncles and my grandma. Oh and cousins. But mainly just my grandma. What happened?” I don't pull my hand away from his, enjoying the warmth but I keep my eyes focused on the barely dangling open sign, “There was a car accident. No survivors, including my parents. My grandparents died before I was born, and uncle Richard has always lived here. What happened with you, are you from here?” He lets go of my hand and starts fumbling around in his pocket. Pulling the joint out of a beat-up cigarette pack, he places it carefully between his lips. “I'm from Fort Yukon, it's about 100 miles north of here. Only able to get there by plane or boat. I've never known my father, so I've never had a dad, but my mom died last month from breast cancer, my grandma lives here in Fairbanks. I fly back and forth a lot. Especially in the summertime.” He flicks the lighter and ignites the joint, “You ever smoke before?” I shake my head and he smiles, “Here, I promise you'll be ok.” I take it from him carefully with shaky hands, my heart jackhammers against my rib cage. I inhale quickly, filling my lungs with smoke, a choke builds in my chest. I cough hard making Surge laugh. Lightheadedness quickly takes over as I sink back into my chair, “Hit it again. It'll be different this time.” I do what he says and he's right. It doesn't burn so much the second time, and a warm feeling washes over me. A sense of relaxation takes over as I sink into the seat. I hand the joint to him, “So Kat, how old are you?” A burst of bubbling laughter builds from my stomach and I can't control it. I laugh, which makes him laugh. “I'll be 18 in august.” He hands the joint back and I hit the joint again without any hesitation, “While we're on the topic of bearing out our souls, what's your real name Surge?” He giggles lightly, “If I tell you, I'd have to kill you.” He laughs out loud, “Come here I wanna try something.” He takes the joint from my hands and pulls my face right close to his so our noses almost touch. “This is called a shotgun, I'm going to hit the joint and bring my mouth really close to yours and when I blow the smoke out, you breathe it in ok?” I nod slightly staring at his lips. He inhales deep and quick. He gently places his hands on the side of my face and pulls me closer. Our lips are inches away from each other. My heart is racing. Electricity flies through the air around us. His lips touch mine ever so softly. He blows out smoke slowly as I inhale. My head lifts, I feel like I'm soaring and I'm not sure if it's because I'm high or because I'm close to him. He pulls me closer pushing his lips into mine, we're in a full blow kiss now. Time stands still until someone knocks on the window. We pull away from each other laughing. Surge rolls down the window, letting in cold air and letting smoke roll out. “Your laundry is done.”
The lady working behind the counter gives us dirty looks as we walk in. I feel like I'm floating on air as he helps me shove clothes into my duffle bags, “Oh now these are cute.” He holds up a pair of pink lace panties. Snatching them from him, I can feel my face flush. “I suppose I should call my uncle and let him know I'm ready.” Surge looks around, “I can give you a ride.” I smile, “I'd love that." He grabs both of my black duffles and his and tosses them in the back of his truck. He opens the passenger door and I climb in while he slides behind the wheel. "Where are we going?" I chew on my lip, "I don't know the address but I could probably point." He laughs, "If we get lost, just know it's not my fault." he puts the truck in gear and we head down the road. At the light, he digs for a cigarette again. This time the smell reminds me of home, the smell of tobacco brings me back to late nights with Marcus. He catches me staring, "You want one?" I shake my head, "Maybe just a puff." He smiles and hands me the cigarette placing his hand on my leg. "Damn, I'm a bad influence." I choke on the smoke but laugh lightly. I hand it back and sit close to him. When he puts his truck in park he rummages around for an empty cigarette pack and slides two cigarettes and a joint in there and then winks at me. He quickly pulls his phone out of his pocket and thrusts it at me. Slowly I type my number in making sure I got it right. “I'll text you alright?” I smile and nod. “Thanks.” He hands me my bags. “Hey!” He grabs my hand again making me turn to look at him, “Matthew, my name is Matthew.” He squeezes and lets go of my hand.
“Was that Surge you were talking to?” I blush a little and look away, “Yeah, we hung out today.” She looked at me long and hard before stepping out of the doorway, “Katherine, don't do that. Don't hang out with people like Surge. He's trouble, and plus he only wants one thing from girls.” She keeps her eyes tightly on the floor. Rachel is different from the last time I saw her. We both have grandpa Riley's piercing blue eyes. She has jet black hair, her nose has a small gold hoop in it. Her dark makeup makes her blue eyes pop more. At the top of the stairs, She pulls a joint out of her cigarette pack, “Don't tell my dad ok?” I just nod and we both squeeze out onto the small balcony as she lights it, “You don't smoke do you?” I shrug and she hands it over to me. Still feeling a bit high from earlier, it doesn't take long for my head to start floating again. We finish the joint as uncle Richard pulls into the driveway.My uncle is sitting on the couch by the time we get downstairs, “Dinners ready, good timing.” Rachel doesn't say anything but just waltzes into the kitchen. “Just load up your plate,” Rachel's voice is in a real low whisper. I nod carefully. Following closely to Rachel, I stack spaghetti onto my plate suddenly feeling very hungry. We both quickly step through the living room. We take the steps two at a time. Her room is about the size of the living room downstairs. She's got a big bed in the corner. A couch and tv in another corner. She has a folding card table in the middle of the room. Beer cans sit on the table, some stacked, some knocked over. She sits down in a chair and kicks a stool towards me from under the table. “Sit down cousin, let's chat.”
After talking with my cousin I find myself standing alone on my little balcony taking small puffs off of a cigarette. Surge is someone she warned against, but wouldn't share any details. Yet someone I can't stop thinking about. Just then, my phone vibrates;
Surge: Hey Kat it's Surge.
Katherine: Hey
Surge: I'm going to pick you up tomorrow. I didn't know you were cousins with Rach.
Kat: I didn't know you knew her. She didn't say anything.
Surge: I wouldn't say she knows me. I'll be there at sunrise. I'll see you soon.
What time does the sun come up in January? I put my cigarette in the overfilling can and head back inside. I set my phone down and just lean my head against my pillows. I haven't heard from anyone back home since stepping foot on that airplane. My body misses Lucas, but alone Surge is all I can think about. It's crazy how in an instant everything you've ever known can change.
I wake up to my phone going off. I don't even remember falling asleep. Surge left me a message saying he'll be here in 5 minutes. I quickly pull on a pair of jeans and find my bra. Pulling on my sweatshirt my cousin comes into my room, “Going somewhere?” She looks at me confused, “You're not going with Surge are you?” I smile slightly while quickly brushing my hair. “Rach, I'll be fine. He's not interested in me like that.” My cheeks instantly flushed pink when the thoughts of our kiss rush back in. “He likes everyone like that Katherine.” I look at my cousin, “Look, I gotta go. I'll be ok.” She sighs and steps aside letting me slide by here.
When the washer is finally done. I shove all my clothes into a cart with wheels and head off in search of a dryer. After finding two dryers and getting all my clothes in them a voice appears behind me, “Make sure you temp test those.” I turn facing the boy from earlier with the same grin plastered on his face while checking his dryer. “who are you? The dryer police?” This makes him laugh out loud. “Just trying to help a friend.” I fold my arms across my chest, “We're not friends, I don't even know you.” He smiled and takes a step closer extending his hand, “People around here call me Surge.” “Surge?” I raise my eyebrow and place my hand in his. His hand is rough, calloused from hard work. My heart skips a beat, “I'm Katherine.” He smiles, “Katherine. Now we're friends. You're not from around here huh?” I shake my head and jerk my hand from his once I realized he was still holding it. “Where you from Kat?” He leans across the table getting closer to me. “Katherine, I am from Ca
Rachel's eyes burn into me as she stares down at me from her bedroom window. The sound of the passenger side door opening draws my attention from the window. I clear my throat and smile, pushing away any memory of Rachel. “Good Morning.” She smiles lightly, sadness lurks in her eyes. “The best way to start the day is with coffee.” I put the SUV in drive and we head to one of the best coffee stands in town, “Ok, so you live on what we call the loop. It’ll take you from one side of town to the other.” She sits quietly with her hands folded nicely in her lap. As I approach the stoplight it turns red, “So this is WestSide, hippie/college students/rich people.” I pull into the coffee hut and push my sleeves up. “What kind of coffee do you like?” this cracks a smile onto her face, “White Chocolate Mocha with marshmallows.” I flash a flirty smile at the barista, “I need an americano, a white mocha with marshmallows, and two bagels,” the barista bats her eyes, “sure thing.” I look at K
Inside my room I sit on my bed propped against the wall when Rachel walks in, “there's a party tonight at Buddy's cabin are you in?” A party at Buddy's means extra time with Surge, “sure, uh what kind of party.” She smiles and laughs, “a fun one. Be sure to dress cute and we'll pregame before our ride gets here.” I get up slowly and start to dig through my bag. My cousin starts blaring music from her room that the walls between us barely muffle it. I find a short skin tight black dress, this will have to do. I slip into my dress and start to pull my hair into a bun when my cousin comes back in wearing a similar dress with a jean jacket and beat up black chucks, “well don't you look hot, let me do your makeup. Right as she finishes my left eye my uncle yells up the stairs, “Rach your friends are here.” She flashes a devilish grin, “ok send them up.” Footsteps beat against the step from at least three people. Her bedroom door opens and then closes again and the music gets turned back on
I pull away from the school after making a few bucks. A cop pulls up behind me, “Shit.” i pull over and the cop follows suit. I shuffle to have my license, registration and insurance ready. I roll down the window as the cop approaches. I hold out my paper information and he just smirks and walks back to his car. He walks back slowly with his hand on his gun, “Can you please step out of the vehicle and place your hands behind your head. Do you have any concealed firearms?” I nod my head, “Yes, it’s on my hip.” i interlock my fingers behind my head. The cop pins me to the hood of my SUV and pats me down. He puts my gun on the hood. “Is that registered to you?” he digs through my pockets and pulls out a wad of cash. “Thats a lot of cash to be carrying, you selling drugs boy.” “No sir, rent is due.” he places the money next to my gun. Next he pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He sighs and sets that next to everything. “You can go. You have a back tail light out.” i grab my st
February “I don’t wanna Be your favoriteI wanna beYour only.”-Reyna Biddy“Drugs may kill you,But they’ll neverBreak your heart.”“Happy one month anniversary baby.” Mike kisses me softly on the forehead while wrapping his arm around my shoulder. We walk out of the movie theater and run into Surge and another girl. Surge smiles when our eyes lock, “Hey Kat.” Surge jogs over and pulls me into a hug, “How have you been?” Mike tightens his grip around my shoulders, “We’re good.” Mike cuts me off and starts to pull me away. “See you around Kat.” Mike doesn’t say a word the entire car trip back to his and Tim’s two bedroom apartment. He leaves me in the car and stomps off inside.There's a party already in full swing by the time I walk in. Mike is sitting on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. His eyes shoot daggers at me as I walk into the kitchen. Somewhere around 12 shots and 15 minutes later my head is buzzing, my body feels numb and I feel fine. Mike on the oth
My life hasn’t been the same since returning from Anchorage. I can’t sleep unless I take the edge off. I feel guarded. Brian and Martin stay good on their promise to protect me and keep the blood off my hands. My Conscience eats at me but I’ve learned I can make that little voice shut up with a few opiates. I take a pill to focus, keep my head busy. I take a pill to sleep, to drown the demons. There’s a party in full swing and I’m treated like a king. “Hey Surge.” A girl named Lexi swings her hips in my direction making me bite my lip. I pull her into my lap, as her lips lock with mine I notice Lisa in the arms of yet another guy. Only this time to make matters worse she has Ezekiel strapped to her chest. Blunts and smoke pass all around her. I push Lexi off my lap and make my way over to Lisa. “Are you fucking kidding me Lisa.” I jerk her away from the guy she was kissing. “Bringing him to a party. Are you really that fucking irresponsible?” Tears swell up in the corners of her eyes.
January“Don’t beg anybodyFor anything, especiallyLove.”-Tori Morrison “Not until we are lost.Do we begin to findOurselves.” KatherineMarcus sits on my right. His leg barely touching mine. The spark we once had is no longer felt. I can feel him pulling away, but we stay together to save face. We’ve been together since we were kids. Destined to marry once of age, just like our parents planned long before we were old enough to know what love was. In the dark of the movie theater I can see Tiffany’s head resting on his shoulder and his hand running the length of her thigh before disappearing beneath the hem of her skirt. She lets out a gasp drawing the attention of Lucas who is sitting on my left. His leg pressed hard into mine, our skin sizzling with connection. I ignore Marcus who I see grinning like a monkey out of the corner of my eye. Tiffany leans across Marcus’s lap and
SurgeLife is never easy when you have always done what you had to, just to get by. No matter what anyone says, the grass is only greener on the other side because it's fertilized with bullshit. Mom has been gone a month now, she was taken too soon by breast cancer. This made her sick for a long time and I guess for having breast cancer she lived for a while. This happening made me learn to care for myself and others at a young age. I started to take care of myself and my sister by the time I was 5. My sister Lisa is two years younger than me. She's hell on wheels and doesn’t listen to anyone. She recently had a baby and that's when we packed up and moved to Fairbanks to live with our Shitsuu, that's Gwitch’in for Grandma. Fairbanks is a big city compared to the small village of Fort Yukon. I gave up life on the river to go make sure the rest of my family doesn’t fall apart. Sh
My life hasn’t been the same since returning from Anchorage. I can’t sleep unless I take the edge off. I feel guarded. Brian and Martin stay good on their promise to protect me and keep the blood off my hands. My Conscience eats at me but I’ve learned I can make that little voice shut up with a few opiates. I take a pill to focus, keep my head busy. I take a pill to sleep, to drown the demons. There’s a party in full swing and I’m treated like a king. “Hey Surge.” A girl named Lexi swings her hips in my direction making me bite my lip. I pull her into my lap, as her lips lock with mine I notice Lisa in the arms of yet another guy. Only this time to make matters worse she has Ezekiel strapped to her chest. Blunts and smoke pass all around her. I push Lexi off my lap and make my way over to Lisa. “Are you fucking kidding me Lisa.” I jerk her away from the guy she was kissing. “Bringing him to a party. Are you really that fucking irresponsible?” Tears swell up in the corners of her eyes.
February “I don’t wanna Be your favoriteI wanna beYour only.”-Reyna Biddy“Drugs may kill you,But they’ll neverBreak your heart.”“Happy one month anniversary baby.” Mike kisses me softly on the forehead while wrapping his arm around my shoulder. We walk out of the movie theater and run into Surge and another girl. Surge smiles when our eyes lock, “Hey Kat.” Surge jogs over and pulls me into a hug, “How have you been?” Mike tightens his grip around my shoulders, “We’re good.” Mike cuts me off and starts to pull me away. “See you around Kat.” Mike doesn’t say a word the entire car trip back to his and Tim’s two bedroom apartment. He leaves me in the car and stomps off inside.There's a party already in full swing by the time I walk in. Mike is sitting on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. His eyes shoot daggers at me as I walk into the kitchen. Somewhere around 12 shots and 15 minutes later my head is buzzing, my body feels numb and I feel fine. Mike on the oth
I pull away from the school after making a few bucks. A cop pulls up behind me, “Shit.” i pull over and the cop follows suit. I shuffle to have my license, registration and insurance ready. I roll down the window as the cop approaches. I hold out my paper information and he just smirks and walks back to his car. He walks back slowly with his hand on his gun, “Can you please step out of the vehicle and place your hands behind your head. Do you have any concealed firearms?” I nod my head, “Yes, it’s on my hip.” i interlock my fingers behind my head. The cop pins me to the hood of my SUV and pats me down. He puts my gun on the hood. “Is that registered to you?” he digs through my pockets and pulls out a wad of cash. “Thats a lot of cash to be carrying, you selling drugs boy.” “No sir, rent is due.” he places the money next to my gun. Next he pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He sighs and sets that next to everything. “You can go. You have a back tail light out.” i grab my st
Inside my room I sit on my bed propped against the wall when Rachel walks in, “there's a party tonight at Buddy's cabin are you in?” A party at Buddy's means extra time with Surge, “sure, uh what kind of party.” She smiles and laughs, “a fun one. Be sure to dress cute and we'll pregame before our ride gets here.” I get up slowly and start to dig through my bag. My cousin starts blaring music from her room that the walls between us barely muffle it. I find a short skin tight black dress, this will have to do. I slip into my dress and start to pull my hair into a bun when my cousin comes back in wearing a similar dress with a jean jacket and beat up black chucks, “well don't you look hot, let me do your makeup. Right as she finishes my left eye my uncle yells up the stairs, “Rach your friends are here.” She flashes a devilish grin, “ok send them up.” Footsteps beat against the step from at least three people. Her bedroom door opens and then closes again and the music gets turned back on
Rachel's eyes burn into me as she stares down at me from her bedroom window. The sound of the passenger side door opening draws my attention from the window. I clear my throat and smile, pushing away any memory of Rachel. “Good Morning.” She smiles lightly, sadness lurks in her eyes. “The best way to start the day is with coffee.” I put the SUV in drive and we head to one of the best coffee stands in town, “Ok, so you live on what we call the loop. It’ll take you from one side of town to the other.” She sits quietly with her hands folded nicely in her lap. As I approach the stoplight it turns red, “So this is WestSide, hippie/college students/rich people.” I pull into the coffee hut and push my sleeves up. “What kind of coffee do you like?” this cracks a smile onto her face, “White Chocolate Mocha with marshmallows.” I flash a flirty smile at the barista, “I need an americano, a white mocha with marshmallows, and two bagels,” the barista bats her eyes, “sure thing.” I look at K
When the washer is finally done. I shove all my clothes into a cart with wheels and head off in search of a dryer. After finding two dryers and getting all my clothes in them a voice appears behind me, “Make sure you temp test those.” I turn facing the boy from earlier with the same grin plastered on his face while checking his dryer. “who are you? The dryer police?” This makes him laugh out loud. “Just trying to help a friend.” I fold my arms across my chest, “We're not friends, I don't even know you.” He smiled and takes a step closer extending his hand, “People around here call me Surge.” “Surge?” I raise my eyebrow and place my hand in his. His hand is rough, calloused from hard work. My heart skips a beat, “I'm Katherine.” He smiles, “Katherine. Now we're friends. You're not from around here huh?” I shake my head and jerk my hand from his once I realized he was still holding it. “Where you from Kat?” He leans across the table getting closer to me. “Katherine, I am from Ca
When the washer is finally done. I shove all my clothes into a cart with wheels and head off in search of a dryer. After finding two dryers and getting all my clothes in them a voice appears behind me, “Make sure you temp test those.” I turn facing the boy from earlier with the same grin plastered on his face while checking his dryer. “who are you? The dryer police?” This makes him laugh out loud. “Just trying to help a friend.” I fold my arms across my chest, “We're not friends, I don't even know you.” He smiled and takes a step closer extending his hand, “People around here call me Surge.” “Surge?” I raise my eyebrow and place my hand in his. His hand is rough, calloused from hard work. My heart skips a beat, “I'm Katherine.” He smiles, “Katherine. Now we're friends. You're not from around here huh?” I shake my head and jerk my hand from his once I realized he was st
SurgeLife is never easy when you have always done what you had to, just to get by. No matter what anyone says, the grass is only greener on the other side because it's fertilized with bullshit. Mom has been gone a month now, she was taken too soon by breast cancer. This made her sick for a long time and I guess for having breast cancer she lived for a while. This happening made me learn to care for myself and others at a young age. I started to take care of myself and my sister by the time I was 5. My sister Lisa is two years younger than me. She's hell on wheels and doesn’t listen to anyone. She recently had a baby and that's when we packed up and moved to Fairbanks to live with our Shitsuu, that's Gwitch’in for Grandma. Fairbanks is a big city compared to the small village of Fort Yukon. I gave up life on the river to go make sure the rest of my family doesn’t fall apart. Sh
January“Don’t beg anybodyFor anything, especiallyLove.”-Tori Morrison “Not until we are lost.Do we begin to findOurselves.” KatherineMarcus sits on my right. His leg barely touching mine. The spark we once had is no longer felt. I can feel him pulling away, but we stay together to save face. We’ve been together since we were kids. Destined to marry once of age, just like our parents planned long before we were old enough to know what love was. In the dark of the movie theater I can see Tiffany’s head resting on his shoulder and his hand running the length of her thigh before disappearing beneath the hem of her skirt. She lets out a gasp drawing the attention of Lucas who is sitting on my left. His leg pressed hard into mine, our skin sizzling with connection. I ignore Marcus who I see grinning like a monkey out of the corner of my eye. Tiffany leans across Marcus’s lap and