Ch. 10 Bitter Truths

Liam

Kaden pulls me aside as soon as we're in the corridor.

"What the hell was that?" he demands, his voice low. "Since when do you care about mate bonds and their sanctity?"

I shake my head, unable to articulate the storm of emotions raging inside me. "I need some air."

He doesn't try to stop me as I push past him, heading for the nearest exit. Once outside, I gulp in deep breaths, trying to clear my head. Storm paces anxiously, pushing me to find Finley, to talk to her, to explain.

But what would I say? Sorry I rejected you but got pissed when another guy did the same thing? Sorry I'm jealous even though I have no right to be? Sorry I've been lying to myself for two years?

My phone buzzes in my pocket. Ryleigh. Guilt immediately floods me.

"Hey," I answer, trying to sound normal.

"Hey yourself," she says, her voice warm but tinged with worry. "How's it going? Any progress on the training program?"

The training program. Right. The reason I'm supposed to be here. "It's... complicated. There have been some distractions."

"What kind of distractions?" Her tone sharpens slightly.

"Pack politics. Nothing important." The lie tastes bitter. "How's your mom?"

"The same." She sighs. "The doctors say the new treatment might help, but it's too soon to tell." There's a pause, then, "You sound strange. What's really going on, Liam?"

I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. "It's just been a long day. The Mountain Ridge Alpha is being difficult, and there's this whole situation with Finley—"

I cut myself off, but too late.

"Finley?" Ryleigh's voice goes very quiet. "What about Finley?"

"Nothing. Just pack stuff. Her brother rejected the Alpha position, remember? So there's all this tension about succession."

"Don't lie to me." Her words are soft but firm. "Something happened between you two years ago. Something you never told me about. And now you're acting strange again whenever she's mentioned."

My heart hammers against my ribs. "Ryleigh—"

"Was she your mate?" The question hangs between us, impossible to dodge any longer.

I lean against the nearest tree, suddenly exhausted. "Yes."

The silence stretches so long I think the call might have dropped. Then, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I chose you," I say immediately. "Because what we had was more important than some biological imperative. Because I loved you."

"Loved?" She catches the past tense instantly. "Not love?"

"I meant love," I correct quickly. "Of course I meant love. I'm just... confused right now."

"Because she's there." It's not a question.

"Because her new mate is treating her like shit," I snap. "Because she's getting hurt all over again, and I can't just stand by and watch."

"New mate?" Her voice rises slightly. "Liam, what exactly is going on?"

I explain the situation in halting sentences, trying to minimize my emotional investment, but even I can hear the jealousy and anger bleeding through.

"So let me get this straight," Ryleigh says when I finish. "You're upset because the guy who claimed your ex-mate might reject her, just like you did? And you think you have the right to be angry about that?"

Put like that, it sounds ridiculous. Hypocritical. "It's not the same."

"It sounds exactly the same." Her voice trembles slightly. "Except now you're regretting your choice."

"I don't regret choosing you," I say automatically.

"Don't you?" She laughs, but there's no humor in it. "We haven't been the same since that night, Liam. You try to pretend everything's fine, but I see it in your eyes. Feel it when you hold me. Something broke between us when you rejected her."

I want to deny it, but the words stick in my throat. Because she's right. We haven't been the same. I've been going through the motions, playing Beta, playing boyfriend, playing at a happiness that never quite reaches my core.

"I need to know," she continues, her voice steadying. "What really happened that night? Not the sanitized version you told me before. The real story."

I close my eyes, memories flooding back. Finley collapsing to her knees after my rejection. The pain in her eyes as she pulled herself back up. Walking away from her. The emptiness that followed.

"I broke her," I admit. "And maybe I broke myself too."

"Do you still love me, Liam? Really love me? Or have you been settling for what's comfortable?"

The question hits like a slap. "Of course I love you. We've been together for years."

"That's not an answer." Her voice is sad now. "I deserve someone who chooses me because they can't imagine life without me. Not someone who's with me because they're afraid to admit they made a mistake."

"Ryleigh—"

"I need time," she interrupts. "And so do you. Figure out what you actually want, Liam. Who you actually want. And then we'll talk."

The call ends abruptly, leaving me staring at my phone in shock. What just happened? Is she breaking up with me? After everything I sacrificed to be with her?

Storm whines, confused by the conflicting emotions coursing through me. Relief battles with panic, guilt with a shameful sense of freedom.

A twig snaps behind me. I turn to find Finley standing at the edge of the clearing, her expression unreadable.

"How much did you hear?" I ask, my voice rough.

"Enough." She crosses her arms. "Doesn't feel good, does it? When someone chooses something else over a mate bond."

The parallel isn't lost on me. "Fin, I—"

"Save it." She cuts me off. "I'm not interested in your guilt or your regrets. You made your choice. I respect that. Now respect mine."

"Which is?"

"To move forward. With or without Dane. With or without anyone." Her chin lifts in that familiar stubborn tilt. "I don't need a mate to be worthwhile."

I take a step toward her, unable to stop myself. "I never said you weren't worthwhile."

"You didn't have to say it. You showed me." She doesn't back away, meeting my gaze steadily. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to prepare for tonight's council meeting. Some of us have actual leadership aspirations beyond riding our siblings' coattails."

The barb stings because it hits close to a truth I've been avoiding. What have I actually accomplished as Beta? What legacy am I building beyond being Kaden's trusted lieutenant?

"Finley, wait." I reach for her arm as she turns to leave. "I'm sorry. For everything."

She looks at my hand on her arm, then back at my face. "Keep your apologies, Liam. I don't need them anymore."

As she walks away, Storm howls in protest. But this time, I don't try to silence him. I let the sound of his grief echo through me, acknowledging for the first time in two years just how much I lost that night on the porch.

And how impossible it might be to ever get it back.