Chapter 10

JAYSON

No. It's not fate. It can't be. I don't deal in it. That ship sailed a long time ago.

But I can't deny that even when I'm not looking for her, Sarah's always there where I can see her.

And lately, when I'm not with her, I've found myself thinking about her.

She's definitely something else. I don't know anyone who would feel free enough to do back flips in a laundry room. And, yes, I enjoyed watching that cute body flex. Damn, she's bendy.

I just wish she could control herself. I don't know what Kale did, but fuck, it's only been a week since her last punishment.

I have to slow her down somehow. Which is why her early practice isn't on the field. It's in the clearing.

"We're dancing again for punishment?" She stands at the entrance in the long grass as I drop my bag by the log and open it.

I walk back to her and point at her. "No. You are going to learn to calm yourself."

I pull her into the clearing.

I pull out a blanket and start to spread it out. "When I was first in the unit, I was a cocky, smart-ass kid. Thought I was King Shit. On a mission, we were fighting a pack outside of Bridgeport. Totally ignoring orders, I took the fight far from where it was supposed to be. I thought I knew better and I got hurt. Bad. Along with five of my men and two civilians. I let my emotions run wild and it almost killed me." She stood listening as I talked.

"After." I pulled a corner out straight. "I was demoted in rank for ignoring orders. I was so angry I ended up smashing my team leaders face in." I stood up with my hands on my hips.

"I almost got discharged until Alpha Fredericks showed me this. It worked and I was able to make Alpha. So, whenever I feel like my emotions are out of control, I use this. Just tap my wolf into its natural habitat. Give all my stress and anger, everything that's not right in my head. Just give it to the trees. They give me peace in return. Tune my wolf so he's balanced again. I want you to try.

I sit crossed legged on the blanket. "Sit."

"So, this is what? Kung fu Zen stuff?" She stands crossing her arms.

"Something like that. Sit." I offer her a spot across from me.

She sits crossed legged with her knee's mere inches from mine.

"Ok. I want you to relax. Just put your hands on your thighs. Like this." I show her by putting my own hands flat on my thighs. "Keep your back straight and breathe."

She shakes herself out then gets into position.

"Ok. Close your eyes. Just listen to the trees. Hear them. Listen to what they say. Listen to how they make you feel. Breathe normally."

We sit in silence for a while. A short while.

"This is stupid." She flops her arms.

I grab her hands and place them back on her thighs. "No. Come on Sarah. Just try. Ok."

"Ok." She straightens herself out.

"Ok. I want you to find what you were feeling toward Kale before you saw him. What was it?" I look for reaction.

With her eyes still closed, her face scowls. "Anger. Betrayal. Pain."

"Ok. Now. I want you to feel it. Feel the anger. When you feel it, I want you to listen to the trees. Really Listen." I speak quietly as the warm breeze swirls around us. "You listening?"

She nods.

"Ok. Give the anger to them. Let them give you peace." I watch her. I watch her face soften. "Give them all of it, Sarah." I whisper. "Tune your wolf."

A slight smile crosses her lips.

"Is it done?" I ask.

She nods. "Yes." She whispers.

"Ok. Now, find the feeling you had when you walked to my office." I instantly saw her face twist. Everything she felt was showing. "Listen to the trees, Sarah. Feel them. They want your pain. Give it to them."

I study her body language as she does what I ask.

"I can feel it." She's quietly. I almost didn't hear her.

"That's good. Ok. Let them take your anger. Let them make you calm. Give them your anger, Sarah."

Her face twists again and her head snaps to the side. "I can't...."

Seeing her face twist up had me confused. Then I grew concerned. "Sarah, what's wrong?"

"She doesn't want it." She's squeezing her eyes shut and her breathing is heavy.

"Sarah, who? Who doesn't want it?" I'm leaning toward her.

Her head snaps to the other side. "She wants the pain. I can't fight her. She won't let go. She wants the anger."

I look down and her claws are showing. Her wolf claws are coming out and digging into her legs. "Sarah, push her down! Don't let her go!" I hold her hands.

"She wants to stay angry. I can't.... I don't know why? She won't listen." Her voice is panicked as she fights the wolf within her for control.

I squeeze her shoulders. "Keep fighting, Sarah! Do not let her out!"

A growl escapes her chest as Sarah struggles to keep the wolf inside her contained. Sweat is beading on her brow. "Jayson...."

Her eyes shoot open and glowing bright blue. Her face scowls and turns dark. I jump back on my ass.

Within a second, she jumps in air and tears through her clothes with an echoing growl. Her blonde wolf stands where Sarah just sat moments before. Eyes glowing, lips curled.

I hold a finger up. "Sarah. Shift."

Her wolf stalks closer, growling. So full of anger. Each step has more fur standing on end.

I'm breathing heavy staring at this royally pissed off She wolf. Anger and a little bit of fear fill my face. "Sarah! Shift!"

I don't want this to turn into a fight. I don't want to have to call my wolf but I will if I have too.

She gets right close. I can see the fire in her eyes. I feel the heat from her wet nose. I feel the hot, angry breath from her mouth as she growls.

Her muzzle is almost touching my nose as she snaps and licks her lips. Her saliva hitting my cheeks. I feel her deep growls penetrating my chest.

"Sarah..." I say quietly.

I take a deep, shaky breath and reach out my hand.

I almost touch her when she snaps at it and turns.

I'm just sitting on the ground. Watching her leave. She stops at the entrance. Looks back at me then let's out a howl, running into the forest.

Trying to process what the hell just happened, I got up and ran for the trail.

"Sarah!" I try and track her. Follow her scent. About fifty feet off the trail, I see her naked body lying in the dirt.

I run skidding to land beside her. "Sarah?"

She opens her eyes. She sits up. "She hates you....so much. You hurt her." She starts to cry. "There's so much pain."

I hug her as I try to figure what the fuck this all means.

****

I guide her out of the forest on the side of the practice field. Wrapped in the blanket I brought.

I can only assume her wolf is worse than I thought. That she holds some deep seeded emotions and is the one who's in control of them.

But why does she hate me so much. How did I hurt Sarah's wolf. I hope our doctor can figure it out.

Thankfully, practice hasn't started yet so it's only the Alphas on the field.

They were all huddled on the side when Luke and Kale happened to notice me with Sarah wrapped in a blanket walking beside me cuddled in my arms.

"Jayson, what happened?" Luke said as he jogged up with Kale in tow.

I squeeze Sarah. "Uh...an accident. She's OK. Just shaken up."

Kale bends down to Sarah. Moving her hair from her face. "Hey, kiddo. Are you alright?"

She turns her head into my chest. "She's fine. Really. I'm just going to take her to the infirmary to get checked out."

Luke crossed his arms. "What the hell were you two doing in there?"

"Look. I tell you later. Right now, let me take care of Sarah first." I glare at him and he nods.

I lead her to the Alpha building and into the infirmary.

A half hour later, I'm joining the other Alphas in the huddle.

Dea looks at me. "What happened?"

I rub the back of my head. "I....I don't know man. We were meditating. You know, the stuff I do when my wolf is out of control?"

They all nod.

"Well, it was working. When I got to a certain part...." I looked at Wren. ".... her wolf tore through. It wanted to kill me. She had fucking murder in her eyes. I....I can't make sense of it."

Luke put his hands on his hips. "Maybe her wolf knows something?"

I look confused. "Like what?"

Wren put a hand on her hip. "What happened exactly."

"I told her to feel what she felt when she...you know...caught us....and her wolf wouldn't let it go. She just was so pissed." I look at the ground trying to figure this out.

"Fuck, Jayson. Are you stupid?" Wren smacked my arm.

"What?" I say as I flinch.

"Just because she says she's not angry about that doesn't mean she's not. But she was willing to move past it. And you had to drag it right out in front again. Sarah may have forgiven you, but clearly her wolf hasn't."

"Yeah, but why? There was major anger vibes coming off her. Like I actually cheated on her or something."

Kale who had been relatively quiet piped up. "Maybe you did."

The four of us look at him

"Seriously. Maybe her wolf knows something you two don't." He walks up to me. "You may not have cheated on Sarah, but maybe your wolf cheated on hers."

"That's crazy. What are you saying?" I cross my arms.

He mirrors my image. "Maybe her wolf staked a claim." He pokes my chest. "On you."

"No way. It's impossible. We barely know each other."

Kale shrugs. "I don't know, dude. What I do know is if you don't want your ass tore off by an angry, she wolf, I'd find out."

****

I left my friends and headed to the infirmary. Kales words sitting in my brain.

Is it possible that what Sarah feels is more than some kid crush? I should ask her, but I have a feeling she's not going to be that receptive.

I'll let it go for now. Maybe the doctor has a better explanation.

I enter Sarah's room. She sitting on a bed in a gown with her legs dangling off the edge while the doctor checks her vitals. He looks over his shoulder.

"Alpha, you're here. Good." He puts down his light to check eyes.

"Hey, Doc." I smile at Sarah and give a little wave. "Find anything?"

He turns to face me. "Um, no. Our little girl here is as healthy as an Alpha you could say. Not one physical thing wrong with her."

I cross my arms. "So, what do you think?"

He closed his file. "Well, could be a one-off thing or it could be a trigger that forced Sarah to relinquish control. Either way, I can recommend someone to talk to."

I turn to Sarah who's shaking her head no fast.

"Um...we'll talk about it. So, can she go back to her room?" I ask.

"I was going to keep her for observation, but if you want...."

"What do you say? You want to get out of here?" I smile.

She nods. "Yes, please."

The doctor nods. "Ok. If anything changes give me a call."

"Thanks, doc." I shake his hand and he leaves.

"I... uh...I thought you'd probably want to leave, so I brought some clothes. I grabbed some shoes too, but Ashley wasn't in so I don't know if they're yours." I put the pile of clothes on her bed next to her.

"Thanks.' She smiles.

She sits there blinking at me as I stand with my hands in my pockets. It takes me a minute to clue in.

My brow raises. "Oh...right....I'm a... I'll just wait for you outside....in the hall.... outside the door.' I say as I back out of her room. Babbling like an idiot.

I close the door and blow out a breath. "Idiot." I scold myself.

A moment later, she's coming out.

'Hey. Did I get the right stuff?" I rub my nape.

She smiles. "Yep. It's fine."

"Ok." I lead her out and head for the dorms.

"You sure you're, OK?" I ask.

She giggles. "For the fifth time now, I'm fine really."

"Ok. Just making sure. Um...I won't make you do that again tomorrow. We'll do something else." We walk slowly up the path.

"Do we have to?" She says watching the ground.

"Why? Did you want to?" I glance at her.

She shrugs. "Before my wolf went psycho, I was actually feeling good."

"You were?" My brow went up. "Well, ok. How about this. Saturday mornings, we dance." I hold my hand out to her then place my hand on my chest. "Saturday night we detox. How's that sound?"

She tucks her hair behind her ear. "I'd like that."

We get to her door. She turns. "Um. Thanks for everything. It really helped."

I smile as I take in her face. "You're welcome." I say softly. "Get some rest."

She nods. "Bye." And gives a little wave before closing the door.