Chapter 3~ Forgive me, Father…

Chapter 3

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Nikolai

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The rain had slowed by the time I made it home, but the cold clung to my skin like an unwelcome memory. Drenched, I peeled off my coat and tossed it onto the armchair near the window, watching as water pooled around its edges.

The housekeeper was going to lose her shit over this.

The place was dead quiet, except for the occasional snort from Fur, my dog, or rather, my freeloading furry roommate. He wasn’t a watchdog; he was a sleep-dog. The lazy bastard would only move if food or belly rubs were involved.

I’d dragged his ass here because, frankly, I didn’t trust the housekeeper at the main house. That woman would probably ‘accidentally’ feed him antifreeze and claim it was Gatorade.

I looked over at him, sprawled on the couch like some sort of aristocrat. “You’re not even a real dog, are you? I bet if someone broke in, you’d hand them the good silver and wag your tail on their way out.”

He snorted again. I sighed.

This place wasn’t much, just a temporary place to lay low, but it served its purpose. The walls were bare, the furniture sparse, but the view from the window was fucking priceless.

I stripped down, leaving a trail of wet clothes across the floor. I made a mental note to toss them in the laundry, then immediately ignored that note. The bathroom mirror was fogged from the damp air, which was doing me a favor because the last thing I wanted was to see the state of me.

Unfortunately, I still caught a glimpse of my reflection in the fogged glass—and, of course, my damn erection.

“Really?” I snapped at my own dick like it was the one calling the shots. “She’s a fucking nun, for Christ’s sake. You’ve got better odds with a cactus, you horny piece of shit.”

I turned on the shower, the scalding water hitting my skin like it had a vendetta. It felt good, burning, punishing, cleansing. For about three seconds, I thought maybe I could wash away the filth clinging to me.

Then, of course, my brain betrayed me.

She’s not just any nun, though, is she? She’s the nun. God help me.

Her face popped into my head, uninvited and unrelenting. That serene expression, the way her lips moved when she prayed under her breath for the salvation of my soul…Did she know she wasn’t fooling anyone with that façade? She could probably feel the weight of her sins just as I felt mine.

I pictured her under the rain again, only this time she wasn’t kneeling at an altar. No, she was on her knees in front of me, looking up with those wide, innocent eyes. Her mouth opened, ready for communion. Just not the kind that came in a church.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” She’d whisper it so sweetly, wouldn’t she?

Oh, and those lips…

My grip tightened as I leaned my free hand against the tiled wall, the water cascading over me like some kind of warped baptism. The image of her stayed vivid in my head, so vivid it almost felt real. Her hands wouldn’t be clasped in prayer now; they’d be gripping my thighs, nails biting into my skin as she—

“Fucking hell,” I growled, teeth gritted as my pace quickened.

Her voice echoed in my head, soft and breathless, not the holier-than-thou tone she used when pretending to save my damned soul. No, this version of her wasn’t preaching salvation. She was begging for me to sin harder.

I pictured her habit slipping off her shoulders, revealing smooth, bare skin, her body trembling under my touch. It was wrong, so fucking wrong, but that only made it hotter. I could almost hear her gasping, whispering yes, Nikolai in that same breathy tone she probably used when calling for divine intervention.

My movements became more erratic as the tension coiled tighter in my stomach. The bathroom was suddenly filled with the sound of water and my own ragged breaths.

And then, just as I felt the release barreling toward me like a runaway train, my phone buzzed on the counter. So fucking loud it reached me in Lala land

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I hissed, snapping out of my daze but not stopping. “Remind me to put that fucking thing on DND.”

The buzzing continued, the screen lighting up with Manuel’s name. Of course, it was him. The bastard had the worst timing in the world.

I ignored it, focusing back on her in my mind. The image of her lips wrapped around—

The phone buzzed again, this time accompanied by a sharp knock on the bathroom door.

“Boss!” Manuel’s voice called out.

“For fuck’s sake!” I shouted, slamming my fist against the wall, the moment completely ruined. My dick was still hard, throbbing angrily as though mocking me for the missed opportunity.

“What?” I barked, shutting off the water and grabbing a towel.

Manuel’s muffled voice came through the door. “We have a problem.”

“Yeah, so do I!” I muttered under my breath, wrapping the towel around my waist and yanking open the door. “This better be good, Manny.”

Manuel stood there, looking like he’d been dragged through the same rainstorm twice. His face was pale, his eyes wide with something close to panic.

“There was an attempt tonight,” he said quickly. “On your father. Three of our men got injured in the crossfire.”

My jaw tightened. “What?”

“They tried to break him out, Nikolai. It was planned, coordinated, and it almost worked.”

The heat of anger replaced the heat from my earlier activity. I scrubbed a hand over my face angrily. “Where is he now?”

“Still in the safe house. I think we need to move him. This is escalating too quickly. If word gets out—”

“We’re not moving him,” I cut him off.

Manuel frowned. “But—”

“No buts, Manny. Double the security if you must. Triple it. Hell, lock the damn place down tighter than a virgin’s chastity belt. But we’re not leaving New York. There’s something here I need to handle first.”

“What’s so important that we’d risk everything?”

I paused, the image of her face flashing through my mind once more. Her voice, soft and teasing, whispered in the back of my head.

“Just something I can’t leave behind,” I said finally, brushing past him. “No more words about this, out with you. I have a shower to finish.”

“Yes, boss.”

By the time I went back to complete my shower, the urge had gone and my dick was limp as an old man’s ass in winter. The mention of my father and escape in the same sentence had done that to me.

That fucking bastard.

When the water ran cold, I stepped out, dried off, and dragged on a pair of sweats. My cigarette pack sat on the counter, and I hesitated for half a second before pulling one out. Smoking wasn’t my vice of choice, but sometimes, a man needed something to burn besides himself.

I lit it, letting the smoke fill the silence as I settled by the window. New York glimmered below. The city looked peaceful from up here, but in dark corners, in old family houses, there was mayhem, destructive secrets and bloodshed. It was all rot and chaos. Just like me. Just like that night.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

I laughed silently, then shook my head. She was probably asleep right now, in those old fashioned clothes, maybe? Or perhaps in sexy lingerie.

The way she seemed untouched by the filth of this world… It was infuriating. Because a greater part of me wanted to see if I could corrupt her. Just a little. Enough to make her human.

The thought made me laugh, smoke slipping from between my lips. “Bless me, Sister, for I’m about to ruin your life.”

The door creaked behind me, pulling me from my thoughts. My hand instinctively went to the knife on the counter, but it was just Luigi, one of my trusted men, soaking wet and looking like he’d been forced to choke on his dick.

“You’re late,” I said, taking another drag.

“You’re naked,” he shot back, shaking water from his hair like a damn dog.

I smirked. “Not completely.”

He dropped a file on the counter, ignoring my jab. “I’m assuming Manuel has given you the intel on the attempt on your old man?”

“Three injured,” I replied, taking a drag from my cigarette.

“But no fatalities” He shoved the file towards me. “It could’ve been worse.”

“Could’ve been avoided,” I shot back, exhaling smoke.

Luigi muttered something under his breath, then shook off the rain like a stray dog. “Someone tipped off the wrong crowd.”

“Fucking cunts,” I hissed.

He dropped onto the couch, his wet jacket instantly leaving a stain on the fabric. My eye twitched.

“Nice. Just ruin my furniture, Luigi. It’s not like I pay you enough to find a towel first,” I said dryly.

“Relax,” he muttered. “The couch looks like it came from a flea market anyway.”

“Watch it, Luigi,” I warned.

He ignored me, continuing like I hadn’t spoken. “We’ll have to move your old man. Somewhere safer.”

“And where would that be?”

“I don’t know. Maybe another country? You know, somewhere the family drama doesn’t involve me almost getting shot every other day.”

“We’re not leaving,” I said firmly.

Luigi raised a brow. “Why not?”

I shot him a glare. “I told Manuel the same thing a few minutes ago, but for your benefit, I’ll explain again, slowly this time. I have shit that needs fixing here, and I’m not leaving until it’s done.”

Luigi leaned back, crossing his arms. “What shit? Be specific.”

I exhaled sharply. “Remember that chapel you blew up because you were too lazy to check if anyone was inside?”

Luigi frowned, trying to recall. “The one with the dead priest and a bunch of scared old-school nuns?”

Turns out those nuns weren’t so old or so “nun-like”—but I held back. “Yeah, that one.”

It had cost me a fortune to sweep that case under the rug. Russel almost had my head when those nuns threatened to sue. We only got away because the building was private property and it was being used without my consent, and there was no way we could’ve known it was occupied.

Luigi shrugged. “Are they threatening to sue again? Want me to take them out?”

I stared at him for a moment. “Nope. On the contrary, I’m moved to help them.”

Luigi blinked. “Wait. You want to help the nuns?”

“Wipe that stupid look off your face. Bottom line is, we’ll be staying here for weeks, maybe months. Instructions will follow. I’m only waiting on her feedback.”

Luigi’s face went from confusion to outright disbelief. “So, let me get this straight. You, Nikolai fucking Gianni, want to fund a bunch of self-righteous old ladies?”

“Correct.”

“Is this some sort of penance thing? Did they guilt-trip you into it? Blink twice if you’re being blackmailed.”

I rolled my eyes. “No. Now double security around the safe house.”

“Fine,” Luigi muttered. “But please, don’t expect me to take up knitting rosaries or whatever.”

“Good. Do your job. And while you’re at it, pick out a building in Albany big enough to pass as a shelter. Let me know the cost for renovations.”

Luigi hesitated, like he wanted to ask if I’d lost my mind.

“No questions, Luigi,” I said, stubbing my cigarette in the ashtray. “Just do it. I need sleep.”

He stood, giving me one last skeptical look before heading for the door.

“By the way,” he added, pausing. “If you’re planning to start a career as a saint, you might wanna work on that whole ‘sinning every five minutes’ thing. Just saying.”

“Get out before I repent by killing you,” I snapped, and he laughed as the door clicked shut behind him.

Finally alone again, I leaned back in my chair, staring out at the city. The rain had ceased, but the weight in my chest hadn’t. Tomorrow, I’d remind my father who held the reins now.

While I wait for her acceptance.

The nun. God, why couldn’t I stop thinking about her? Maybe it was the way she looked at me—like she could see past the mess, past the lies and blood, to something human. Or maybe I just wanted to ruin her.

The thought twisted my lips into a smirk.

She’d probably say a prayer for me if she knew what I’d done tonight.

“Forgive him, Father, for he knows not what he does,” I muttered, mockingly.

Bullshit. I knew exactly what I was doing.