They say nuns are off-limits. I say, “Watch me.” They say obsession is a sin. Good thing I stopped caring about sin a long time ago. She says I’m a sinner. She’s not wrong. But when I’ve got her confessing her darkest desires to me in ways that would make the Devil blush, what does that make her? A firecracker in a habit, all rosaries and righteous fury, thinking she can scare me off with sharp words and that holier-than-thou glare. Cute. I’ve stared death in the face and made it flinch. I don’t lose sleep over a wannabe saint with a sharp tongue. Lucky for me, she’s not a nun yet. The more she fights, the more I want to corrupt every vow she’s about to make. God may forgive me, but she won’t. Good. I like my women unforgiving, trashing and begging.
View MoreHey everyone,I’m so sorry for the delayed updates. Unfortunately, my health didn’t improve as expected, and I’ve been advised to take some time off to rest and finish my medications. (It’s just all the stress catching up, I’ll be up in no time.)I truly appreciate your patience and understanding. The moment I’m back on my feet, I’ll be jumping straight behind my keyboard!I know, I miss Nikolai and Sylvia as well. 🥺Thank you for sticking with me and for understanding. Take care of yourselves too.xoxo 💋
Chapter 16⟿❂⟾Sylvia⟿❂⟾The soft hum of the heater filled the bathroom, but the chill still clung to my skin like a second layer. I rubbed my arms, standing in front of the big mirror nailed to the wall, and gave myself a long, hard look. My gaze landed on the woman staring back at me.I blinked. She blinked.I tilted my head. She did the same.But something felt… wrong. Off. Like the person in the glass was someone I was meeting for the first time.My fingers rose, brushing my cheek, tracing the hollow beneath my eyes, the curve of my lips. “Who the hell are you?” I whispered to the reflection.Silence.The question echoed inside me, hollow and unanswered. My skin felt too tight, my body unfamiliar. It was absurd—I was me. But… who was me?I pressed my palm against the cold glass, half-expecting it to ripple like water. “How do I not know you?” I said softly.The harder I tried to remember myself—myself—the more the memories slipped like sand through my fingers. There was a past, w
Chapter 15⟿❂⟾Sylvia ⟿❂⟾“Can you just hold still for a second, sweetie?” I cooed in a very soft voice. I moved over and knelt beside a squirming little boy, his wide eyes full of panic. “It’s just for a minute.” “I don’t want it, Sylvia!” he whined, kicking his legs in protest.I sighed, then looked up at Sister Anne, who was standing a few feet away, watching me with a knowing expression. “How do you make it look so easy with them?”She chuckled, then pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s all about distraction. Kids don’t like needles, but they love sweets.”I raised an eyebrow. “Sweets? Are you bribing them with candy now?”Sister Anne winked. “If it works, I don’t see the problem. What do you think?”The little boy gave me a frantic look, still clutching his arm tightly. “Please, no vaccine!”“Alright, alright,” I let out a breath, then reached into my pocket and pulled out a lollipop, the colorful wrapper caught the light—and the boy’s eyes, apparently. I unwrapped the
Chapter 13⟿❂⟾Nikolai ⟿❂⟾I hate the smell of new wood. Or new shit in general—except pussy.I leaned against the bar in the half-finished club, too tired to even reach for a drink. For the last week, I’d been inhaling fresh wood, sawdust, and lingering cigar smoke so much that I made a mental note to book an appointment with the family doctor to check if my lungs were still intact.We were setting up a base here in Albany, something solid. Permanent. A place to move product, handle meetings, and make money. If I was going to be stuck in this city for the next few months, I needed an actual reason—besides the more obvious one: pussy.The place wasn’t ready yet—far from it. No neon lights, no polished floors, and it still smelled like a fucking lumberyard. Another thing to handle.“Nacho,” I called out, flicking a glance at the broad-shouldered man standing near the entrance. “Get that guy to fix the damn stench of this place.”“Boss?”Nacho was our newly recruited bouncer. Built lik
Chapter 13⟿❂⟾Nikolai ⟿❂⟾I needed something to do.So I came downstairs for coffee—something strong to burn the mess in my head. But as soon as I walked into the parlour, I realized I wasn’t alone.Hand on my gun, I quietly made my way to the sitting room. Sure enough, there they were. Manuel and the rest of the guys were sprawled out lazily. Feet up, vodka bottles scattered, cigarette smoke curling toward the ceiling in lazy spirals. Cards lay spread across the table, a game in progress, though from the looks of it, they were just killing time the only way they knew how. None of us wanted to be here, but no one was leaving unless I said so.I took a slow sip of my coffee, adjusted the gun at my waist, then cleared my throat.They all snapped their heads toward me. Then, almost by some unspoken command, they shot to their feet like schoolboys caught screwing around in class.The last time I caught them playing cards, Stacy had been in the mix—Vincenzo’s vixen, trouble wrapped in a
Chapter 12⟿❂⟾Sylvia⟿❂⟾I fucking hate change. No matter how good it is.Three days since we moved, three days since Nikolai disappeared from my room like he’d never existed. Three days, and he was now just a ghost, a shadow haunting the corners of my thoughts. I barely knew him, hell, I didn’t know him, but somehow my life now practically revolved around him. He was in these walls, his hands were on me when I shut my eyes, and his lips were in my ears when I listened just enough, saying the dirtiest things. And that was really terrible, because I was cheating. On God, on my faith, and on my body. “Your body is the temple of God.” I felt so seen that sometimes I just cringe.It was that feeling of someone watching you. When your skin prickles, and the back of your neck feels cold, but no one’s there. Yeah, that. Only this time, I swear I could feel eyes on me—no matter how empty the space was.Maybe I should’ve expected it. I mean, you’d know that men like him don’t linger and ce
Chapter 11 ⟿❂⟾ Nikolai ⟿❂⟾ I had spent the whole night watching a nun sleep. And now I had to work extra. I took the glass of scotch in my hand to my lips only to find it empty, I groaned in frustration. The bottle was somewhere on the floor where I had kicked it hours ago and I had no intention of going to retrieve it. I could barely take my eyes off my laptop, which was still open on the bed, the glow of the screen being the only lighting in my room. I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night, and from the look of things, I won’t be getting any today either. My eyes went to the security footage on the other screen. Sylvia. I had planted cameras in her room even before she returned to the room last night, maximizing her absence. I didn’t need to, not when Manuel had already gone to pick them up this morning, not when everything went exactly according to my plan. I could have disabled them after putting her to sleep, but I didn’t. And now, even after spending an hour handli
Chapter 10 ⟿❂⟾ Sylvia ⟿❂⟾ The first thing I noticed was the light. Blinding. Violent. It stabbed me directly in the face like a mystic celestial interrogation lamp, forcing a pathetic groan from my lips. The second thing I noticed was the headache. It kind of felt like tiny construction workers were jackhammering away inside my skull. Not once, not twice, but repeatedly, just for fun. A dull ringing filled my ears, making everything else sound distant, like I was underwater. I tried to stretch, but my limbs felt like lead, my thoughts moved slower than a church service on a hot Sunday afternoon, and worst of all—my mouth was drier than the Sahara. Something was wrong. I turned over, intending to bury my face into my pillow, when…wait. Tucked. Under. The. Sheets. I never tucked myself in. Ever. In fact, I usually just collapsed onto my bed like a crime scene victim and let sleep do the rest. Panic started to creep in, slow and unsettling, like a spider crawling up the
Chapter 9 ⟿❂⟾ Sylvia ⟿❂⟾ I should have told him then. That I was going to accept his offer. But Nikolai wasn’t giving me the chance. He was watching me like I was a snag in his perfect world that he needed to unwrap, one he needed to snatch. And whatever was in his eyes was pulling me in, making me forget why I’d gone out to look for him in the first place. Or anything at all. A slow, steady ache throbbed between my thighs, the heat spreading, my body betraying me in ways I refused to acknowledge. My nipples pebbled against the thin fabric of my dress, and God! The friction made the throb between my legs worse. I crossed my arms to hide it, but it was pointless. He had already noticed. His smirk was slow, so amused. “All this, and you’re going to waste it on a guy named Jesus?” My head snapped up so fast I nearly gave myself whiplash. “He’s not just a guy,” I bit out. “He’s the Messiah.” He nodded lazily, like I had just explained that water is wet. “Yeah, I
PROLOGUENIKOLAI⟿❂⟾New York, 7 Years Ago⟿❂⟾“Kill him.”Matteo fucking Gianni, my father, didn’t believe in wasting words, and I didn’t believe in saying them either. He slid the manila folder across like it held nothing more interesting than the lunch menu at his favorite restaurant. Dino Donatello. Mid-40s. Ran weapons and girls out of Staten Island, made deals with anyone who waved a dollar in his face, and skimmed more than his share off our shipments. He’d successfully worked his way into my father’s bad books, and now he’d have to be burned with those books.It was a simple job. Walk in, handle it, walk out. A routine.“Don’t think,” my father added, not even looking at me as he poured himself a glass of scotch. “Just get it done.”I’d learned not to argue with him by the time I turned 15. At 22, I wasn’t stupid enough to start now. So I nodded, took the file, and headed out without another word.The Donatello house was a two-story dump at the edge of a rundown neighborhood....
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