Chapter One

Arian

I sit in my car gripping the steering wheel tightly as I stare at the courthouse. I feel myself starting to panic as I think of getting out of my car, going inside the courthouse to testify against a monster but I quickly remember the mantra I told myself to repeat every time I feel the panic setting in and I say it.

It calms me enough to get me out of the safe confines of my car and then I grab my purse, slung it over my shoulder and close my car door then press the lock button on the key fob and walk away from it before I change my mind.

I make my way into the building through the sliding doors and straight to the courtroom where the trial is being held. I meet my lawyer Diane Devane outside talking to her colleague and I stay back but she turns her head, sees me and she smiles.

"You made it." She grins. "Excuse me." She says to her colleague and makes her way over to me and gives me a tight hug.

"I almost hightailed it out of here." I chuckle nervously. "Do I really have to... you know... do this?"

Diane shoots me a sympathetic smile. "It'll be over before you know it." She assures me. "He'll be locked away for years and you'll never have to see him again."

I take a deep shaky breath and don't let it out until I feel that I am going to pass out from lack of air and I exhale. It helps a little until I see my supposed parents walk in through the doors and I stiffen.

"What is it?" Diane notices my tense figure and her eyes widens when she sees my parents too. "They can't be here." She seethes.

I watch them approach us with their noses in the air as if they didn't do any wrong. As if they didn't ruin my life forever by forcing me to marry that monster.

"Attorney." They greet her.

"Why are you here?" She spits.

"We're here for the trial." Fernando Dela Paz replies. "Rafael is family."

"His family members are in there with him. His actual family members." She says. "You're making my client uncomfortable with your presence."

"We have..."

"Get lost before I do something I'll regret." Diane threatens them. "Let's not cause a scene before the actual one starts."

Fernando glares at me with contempt before he takes his wife's hand and exits the way they came.

"Sorry about that." Diane apologizes.

"Thank you." My voice comes out shaky. "Um... I want to make use of the restroom."

"It's this way." She points to the direction I should go. "Don't stay too long or we'll start without you."

I nod my head and quickly make my way to the restroom. I slam the door firmly shut and lean against it then slowly force myself to relax and not have a panic attack. I walk over to the sink, turn on the water and just stare at my reflection in the mirror.

"You think you can escape me?" My husband's angry face appears behind me in the mirror and I shriek then turn around but there is no one there with me.

"Pussy." The voice I hate to hear sing in my head. 

I wash my face, turn off the faucet and grab a paper towel to wipe my hands then dump it in the bin.

"I can do this." I mutter to my reflection. I don't sound convincing enough but it is the best I can do for myself now. After this, I will never darken Mexico's doorsteps ever again.

~~~~~

I lift my face to the sky and inhale deeply, glad to be finally free of Rafael Navarro and Mexico and my parents. Rafael was sentenced to life imprisonment without parole. I took back my biological father's name; Macavinta… much to Fernando's chagrin. 

I like my new name Arian too much to change it back to the one my birth parents gave me. I'm not brave or strong like my name implies but I know that I'll get there one day. 

"So... What are you going to do now?" Diane asks me when she catches up with me.

"I'm going to my apartment to pack up the remaining things lying around then I'll buy a one way ticket to Nigeria. That's all." I say.

"Why Nigeria?" She questions.

"That's my home." I force a smile on my face.

"Didn't you say you don't have any living relatives there?" Diane looks confused.

"I don't." I sigh. "But... It's safer and better than anywhere else. I have someone who will... take me in until I find a job."

"If you need my help..." Diane begins, looking skeptical.

"You've tried enough for me." I cut her off gently. "I'll be fine... I promise."

"Fine. I can't change your mind." She sighs. "It was nice working with you to crack this case, Arian but apart from that... I also made a friend."

"Me too." I smile. "Thank you so much for everything Diane. I'll never forget you."

"You better not." She pulls me in for a tight hug. "If you feel like talking to someone... I'm one phone call away."

We say our goodbyes and then I head to my car with a spring in my step. I begin to hum my favorite song in my head as I unlock my car, open the door and slide in then shut the door. I check around to avoid being surprised again like Rafael did to me after our marriage was annulled and he couldn't stomach the fact that I left him.

When I realize that I'm safe, I press the lock button to lock the doors, then start my car, back out of the parking lot and drive home - with a smile on my face.

~~~~~

My smile fades when I get out of the elevator and see my parents standing in front of my apartment door waiting for me to arrive. I almost turn and leave but I decide not to and make my way over to them. I can't run all my life because of them and Rafael. 

My therapist told me I have to stand strong and face my demons and even though they look very intimidating... I will never run.

The song 'what doesn't kill me makes me stronger' comes to mind and I lift my head high, walk straighter and lock my gaze with their hateful ones.

"What are you doing here?" I mentally applaud myself for how steady and strong my voice is despite the turmoil roiling inside me.

"Is that how to speak to your father?" Fernando spits.

"You're not my father." I say. "My father Jericho Macavinta died ten years ago. He was a better man than you are."

Fernando's eyes blazes with fury at that insult and he lifts his hand to slap me but I quickly step back before his hand can connect with my cheek and I point to the camera in the corner of the hallway.

"You don't want to do that." I say. "There's a camera watching us and I have Diane on speed dial. I can have you arrested for assault."

"You'll always be weak and useless." Fernanda Dela Paz decides to speak at this moment. "No wonder Rafael thought nothing of you."

The two of them really deserve each other and it pains me that I once thought of them as my salvation from a life of misery. They helped me alright but at what price? The price I had to pay for their limited kindness was so huge. 

I will always have the scars to remind me of my miserable existence. I'm just not too depressed or tired of my life to end it.

"I have things to do." I tell them. "Please leave."

"I heard you're leaving Mexico." Fernando sneers, making my eyes widen in fear.

"How did you... Who told you?" I ask in a shaky voice.

"The walls have ears." He smirks evilly. "Where will you go?"

"You don't know?" My voice sounds hopeful.

"No. Tell me where you're going." He orders.

I lift my chin defiantly even though I don't feel defiant. The camera behind me somehow gives me strength even if I think it's foolish to rely on an object for my safety.

"I will tell you nothing. You cannot force me." I say. "Now please leave or I'll call security."

"You'll never be free from Rafael, you know?" Fernanda informs me in a menacing voice that has fear crippling my spine. "No matter where you go, he'll find you and I hope he does."

"Why do you hate me so much?" I blurt out as tears spring to my eyes. "My only crime is loving you. I thought you chose me because you loved me?"

Fernando and his wife laugh mockingly to my face. It seems their laughter increases as fast my tears stream down my cheeks.

"Love you? You wish." He scoffs derisively. "We chose you because despite your damaged face, you looked beautiful and all you needed was just surgery to repair it. Rafael wanted our daughter for himself and since we couldn't sacrifice our little girl like that, Fernanda came up with a plan to adopt a girl of our daughter's age, give the girl her face and marry her off to Rafael."

"Our little girl was saved." Fernanda beams.

"What?" My face goes white. "I thought Maricruz was dead? You told him she'd passed on. You took him to her grave."

"No one will ever love you, Arian. No one." Fernando whispers and walks away with his wife trailing behind him and leaving me with more questions than answers.