Chapter 5: Shattered Realities

10 minutes later…

The cold night air bites at my skin as I sit alone in the garden, trying to make sense of everything. My mind is racing, but it’s also clouded, as if I’m grasping at smoke. The night, the garden, the man... It’s all tangled up in my head like a jumbled puzzle, pieces that don’t quite fit together.

I replay it over and over again. His deep brown eyes sinking into mine, his laugh, that strange connection we both felt. The kiss—just the memory of it sends a jolt through my body, my skin still buzzing with electricity. And then… how quickly it ended. How he walked away as if nothing had happened, leaving me standing there, alone in the garden, wondering if it was all just in my head.

But it wasn’t, was it? It felt too real, too intense to be imagined. And yet, I don’t even know his name. I don’t know anything about him. He’s a stranger. A stranger who somehow made me feel more alive in a single moment than I have in years.

My fingers fidget with a twig, snapping it in half as I stare at the trees. The garden, the mansion, the people—all of it feels far away, like another world that I’m disconnected from. A part of me wants to stay out here, away from everything. Away from Lilly, from Nick, from this ridiculous ball that I don’t belong at. But I can’t.

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, pulling me back to reality.

It’s a text from Nick.

“Where the hell are you, you little shit? Get back here. NOW.”

My heart lurches. The dread sinks into my stomach like a heavy stone, and instinct takes over. I can’t ignore him, not if I want to avoid the consequences. I’ve spent years learning that lesson the hard way.

Without thinking, I get up and start running back toward the mansion. The woods blur around me as I push myself to move faster. I can already picture Nick’s face—angry, irritated, his voice laced with venom. If I’m not there soon, it’ll be even worse. I can’t afford to give him another reason to lash out.

As I reach the back entrance of the mansion, I pause for a second, trying to catch my breath. My hands are shaking, and my heart is pounding, but I’m here. I made it back.

I slip inside quietly, hoping no one notices me. The ballroom is filled with people, their laughter and chatter blending into a loud hum that feels distant, like background noise. I don’t care about any of them. All I can think about is avoiding Nick, staying out of his sight until I figure out what to do next.

But as I scan the room, I see him—Nick—storming toward me from across the ballroom, his face already twisted in irritation. My chest tightens with panic. I know that look too well. I swallow hard and force myself to keep moving, pretending like I’m not about to fall apart.

Just then, I hear Lilly’s voice cut through the noise of the room.

"Can I have everyone’s attention, please?" Her voice is light, cheerful, like she’s floating on air. I glance toward the stage at the front of the room where she stands, a microphone in hand, looking radiant in her shimmering gown. She’s smiling—always smiling. Her perfect life, her perfect wedding, everything perfectly in place for her.

I feel numb watching her. Normally, I’d feel a mix of jealousy, anger, and sorrow seeing her like this—living the life I never had. But tonight, I don’t feel anything. Not really. I’m just… empty. It’s strange, unsettling even, to feel so disconnected from everything around me. Maybe it’s the exhaustion, or maybe it’s something else, but I can’t muster the energy to care.

Lilly’s voice pulls me out of my haze. She’s giving a speech now, talking about how she and her fiancé met. I force myself to focus, just long enough to catch her words.

“We met while I was working at the law firm,” Lilly is saying, her voice filled with warmth and adoration. “It was love at first sight. I knew from the moment we met that he was my person. I’m so lucky to have found him, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him.”

Love at first sight. Her person. The words swirl in my head, and for a moment, a flicker of anger sparks inside me. How nice it must be to find “your person.” How lucky she is to have her perfect love story while I’ve spent my life in ruins.

But then the numbness returns, and I push the bitterness down, burying it deep where it can’t touch me.

“And now,” Lilly’s voice interrupts my thoughts again, this time with a hint of excitement, “I’d like to introduce the man who has stolen my heart—my fiancé, Luis.”

I barely register the name at first. Luis. Just another man in her perfect life. But then the crowd parts, and I see him.

Standing there, dressed in a sharp black suit, is the man from the garden.

My heart stops.

For a moment, everything around me falls away. The people, the noise, the ballroom—all of it disappears as I stare at him. My chest feels tight, like I can’t breathe, and my mind goes blank.

It’s him. The man who kissed me, who left me reeling with emotions I didn’t even understand… is Lilly’s fiancé.

I feel my heart drop into my stomach, the weight of the realization crashing down on me like a tidal wave. How could this be happening? How could the man I met in the garden—the man who felt so… connected to me—be the same man Lilly is marrying?

I can’t breathe.

My hands shake as I try to make sense of it all, but nothing adds up. This can’t be real. It doesn’t make sense. He didn’t even mention Lilly. Not once. And yet, here he is, standing next to her like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

I feel like I’m drowning, my thoughts swirling in a chaotic storm, and then… I feel something else. Something worse.

Disgust.

Not for him. For myself.

How could I let this happen? How could I let myself feel anything for him? He’s Lilly’s. He belongs to her, and yet… we kissed. We shared something. And I wanted it.

I feel sick to my stomach, my heart burning with self-loathing. What kind of person does that make me? I’m no better than Nick, than all the people who’ve hurt me. I let myself fall for someone I had no right to.

The room is spinning around me, but all I can see is Lilly and him—Luis—standing together, looking like the perfect couple. Lilly is glowing, her smile wide as she takes his hand and pulls him closer. He smiles at her, that same charming, confident smile I saw in the garden. The same smile that made my heart race.

But now… now it feels like a knife twisting in my chest.

I don’t even realize I’ve taken a step back until I bump into someone behind me. I mumble an apology and quickly move toward the exit, my heart pounding in my chest. I need to get out of here. I can’t stay. Not with him here, not with Lilly standing next to him, blissfully unaware of the storm raging inside me.

I don’t even realize I’ve taken a step back until I bump into someone behind me. I mumble an apology and quickly move toward the exit, my heart pounding in my chest. I need to get out of here. I can’t stay. Not with him here, not with Lilly standing next to him, blissfully unaware of the storm raging inside me because I feel like I’m going to fall apart.