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CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
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My Very True Love CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
BRYANI sit on the floor, among broken glass wares, struggling not to rethink my decision, and apparently failing, as I begin to weigh the pros and cons once again, and again and over again, but it's all still coming to one conclusion. I have to go.My awareness of the space around me reduces very badly, and I feel tight and enclosed. I take two deep breaths, and make my way to my feet, calmly and very silently, as I clean up the mess I made. And I decide to go to Mike's, to let him know my decision, and also to explain to him.********Mike's apartment is locked, so I decide to wait for him on the roof. I subconsciously open the door and drag my feet across the concrete floor, and then my eyes meet the hair of a familiar person. Diana. She's relaxed on chair, gently sipping her drink, and completely unaware that she has company.I contemplate going to her a few times, just before I have the courage to walk to her.“Miss Walter.”“Oh my, I'm so sorry I just needed fresh air, and I__”
My Very True Love CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN
DIANAThe last time I set my eyes on Bryan was about a week ago, on the roof top. While something in me wished he had followed me and plead for a way to make things work, another part of me did not want to see an inch of him and was ready to punch him in the face [or groin] if he had even tried to stop me. Either way, what can I say? I've been good... NOT. Yh, I've not been good. On some days or random occasions, the tears just flow, so easily, and for the stupidest reason being a guy. I only console myself with reason that everybody goes through things like this, and it's okay to let the tears out, no use caging your emotions.My life has always been enclosed by walls, walls to protect me of what I went through as a little girl, walls to protect me from men like my father, and to protect me from being as fragile as my mother. I let those walls down for Bryan, because it just made sense, it made sense to be loved and allow yourself be loved, but now nothing makes sense.You know how
My Very True Love CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
BRYANMy drive back home from the so called family meeting was in a state of haze, I might have kept my cool back at the family house, but I was absolutely fuming. Once again, I keep my anger and frustration to myself, and no one notices, because it has always been like this, just me and my emotions, bottled up even so much so that I myself don't pay attention to what I feel.********My flight for Maine leaves early tomorrow, so I decide to say my final goodbyes to Mike and maybe, most hopefully, Diana.I pack my things and get them ready for the next day, and in the process of packing, I find Diana's hair pin in my closet. It's a little pin, just a little pin, and it shouldn't mean anything, but for the first time in the many years of my life, that pin brought back so many memories, and it arose many emotions. Emotions that are making me weigh pros and cons once again, but I shake them off with a chuckle.I bought the pin for Diana on one of our many numerous dates to my favorite pl
My Very True Love CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
DIANAAnd in the blink of an eye, almost literally, the 21st is here, and I'm not as enthusiastic as I was to go on the vacation anymore. Seeing Daniel and Miss LA girlfriend is just not appealing, they are cute, but not so much so when I'm trying to get over my ex. So now they just make me want to puke, but in a cute way. Sigh.By 6am, we are on the road to South California, and I'm having none of it. The roads are bumpy, the whole place is foggy and these two love birds in front are jamming and singing along to fucking love songs. “I wonder why we had to go this fucking early, the trip isn't even more than two hours you know.” I protest.Daniel's LA girlfriend stretches her neck to view me as I shout from the back seat, and I squeeze my eyes and purse my lips to make a “What?” face in her direction, without saying anything.“Ignore her Mira, Diana is just always cranky in the mornings, and also hates to travel by road, bumpy ones most especially.” Daniel defends, only, I don't know
My Very True Love CHAPTER THIRTY
BRYANFirst of all, Wow. Wow because the weather here is not what I at all imagined. I literally had to rush to the nearest convenience store on landing here to get padded jackets, it's so cold. And quite sadly, I haven't had my car brought here yet, I'm giving it some time, so public transport has been the go to way.Maine is small, and from what I've seen, has less job opportunities and quite a higher cost of living, which is one of the reasons this job was very exclusive. Work has been particularly hectic, I literally never worked like this in my life, and it's only been few days. There have been back to back surgeries, researches, meetings and paper work, and I'm only given a few hours break, I barely get time to talk to anyone, which is the only reason why I haven't even tried to call Diana. I don't feel like I should talk about Diana, but what else occupies my thoughts these days? What else has occupied my thoughts for the past few months?Everything reminds me of her. And it
My Very True Love CHAPTER THIRTY ONE
DIANAAlmost like God himself wants me here, the management called to inform me that all staff were given a two week break from work due to some company policy, and that gave me extra two weeks here. So I'm total, I've been here for two weeks now, and I have one week left before the sadness that is LA envelopes me. Or maybe it's just the loneliness that comes with Bryan not being in my life, either way, LA has sadness waiting to envelope me.I and Adrian have been getting along pretty well. It took him about three nights to completely show me around the place like he promised. After that, we've pretty much only texted on phone.Until yesterday, he texted:_“Hey Diana, I'm sorry we've not been hanging out so much, I know I promised you that your remaining time here would be amazing, and I still stand my ground on that. So what do you say about dinner tomorrow? 7pm. I would pick you up at the cafe. Expecting your positive response!”_Before I could reply, I showed Denise the text, she
My Very True Love CHAPTER THIRTY TWO
DIANAI should love this for myself, I should love the way things are going. But I feel so uneasy, I'm trying not to blame it on the call Bryan put through, and how he's literally now in my head. I wanted this, I wanted to get my mind of Bryan, and I wanted to use someone else, I found my someone else, and yet it's not working. I was excited to have sex, the perfect person has come by, the perfect moments, but it still feels all wrong.I look down at my chest, spotting the locket Bryan gifted to me, I caress it with my thumb. Most original present I've ever received, it's pretty little and fashionable, so I wear it all the time, I shower with it and do literally everything with it, and the gold still hasn't washed off in any way, infact it glistens more with every bath I have.My attention returns back to Adrian. The words “I can't do this” or “Please can we head back?” are at the tip of my tongue, but the little smiles Adrian chips in at me from time to time on the ride to his place
My Very True Love CHAPTER THIRTY THREE
BRYANIt's been two hectic months here in Maine, two months of heavy traffic, numerous work researches, tiring surgical procedures, different people, and two months of trying to adjust to the lifestyle here in Maine. Two months without communication with Diana, and very few conversations with Mike. Actually, Mike is the only person keeping me sane, in the sense that he gives me little information about Diana, like when she cut her hair a bit shorter and got it straightened, and he sneaked a picture in for me.Or when she looked absolutely stunning on make-up she put on for a colleagues house warming party. Which got me absolutely worked up, because I definitely believed it was a date, until Mike convinced me with pictures. Mike also keeps me going with encouragement of course, even though I keep lying to him that it's amazing over here.Sometimes I can't believe things feel like this, I probably should have made my research before coming here, but I was so engrossed in wanting to be
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My Very True Love CHAPTER FORTY ONE
BRYAN“Take a test D. This could be anything, let's not jump into conclusions. I'm very certain you are not pregnant, I played safe Diana.”These are the words that find way out of my mouth in the very state I found myself in. Standing there, and not a single clue of what I would do, thoughts flying into my mind, and a single sentence bringing back tough memories I've tried hard to forget over a long period of time.I hate feeling this way, but I'm sure, there's no reason, she just can't be pregnant.Fuck me!“How are you just so sure that I'm not pregnant Bryan? I want to know. Because we had unprotected sex a number of times, I'm don't know how you're so sure.” Diana asks in a brittle voice.“I know what I'm capable of Diana, I_ I just_ Look, I took my precautionary measures. I'm sure you aren't.” I take in a deep breath, moving closer towards her and taking her hands into mine. “I don't want us to let this escalate Diana, it's as simple as taking a test and confirming before jumpin
My Very True Love CHAPTER FOURTY
DIANARemember how I said my life wasn't a bed of roses or lilies but after Bryan they started to line up? Yh, he probably just lined two or three up the past few hours.He not only said that he loves me, he helped me get over my past trauma, and he gave me the best sex I've ever had in my life. Who knew car sex could be that fun? After everything, we go inside for proper rest. I stare at the beauty of the house once again and become curious about the pictures on the wall.“Who are the children in the pictures on the wall?” I ask as I touch one of them. “This one looks like me, I like her. Who are they?”Bryan chuckles.“They are the children from the orphanage, funny you should point out that young girl you know, she has hair like yours and has a shockingly similar name to yours. Dane.”“Dane and Diana aren't alike, they just have the same first letters.” I say in a chuckle.Bryan smile at me as I move around, admiring every picture, each not even as beautiful as his smile to me. “
My Very True Love CHAPTER THIRTY NINE
BRYANI pull myself gently into Diana for a kiss, gentle not to take in the whole of her while we're directly outside her workplace. “Let's take this to mine.” I whisper in her ears as I nibble on them.“I concur.” She replies in a chuckle.The drive on the way to my house is unarguably the best ride I've had in my whole life. The car was almost never silent, it was filled with our laughter, or Diana's beautiful voice, or mine. And when the car was silent, it was filled with stolen gazes from both of us. When we finally get to my place, I turn off the car engine and drop my head back, tired. “Let's go.” I say as I turn to face Diana, who is looking at me adamantly. “Don't you want to get out?” I ask in a chuckle.“We're at your place.” She says, stating the obvious.“Yes Diana, we are.” I laugh and try to exit the car, but she pulls my arms back.“Diana, what the hell.” I'm really laughing now, but without clue of why I am. “You said: ‘Let's take this to mine.’ We're are your plac
My Very True Love CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT
DIANAWe can't ever talk about life and how shitty it gets enough. For some people, the purpose of life could be to change the world. Some other people feel that the point of life is to set a goal, meet those goals, and achieve personal fulfillment. While some may even feel that life is just for the purpose of enjoyment.Life comes with a package of losses, you learn how to live with the losses and grow out of it, not accepting defeat. You face the future and throw your past away, avoiding the limitations that come with it. You take on responsibilities, a career, anything, to make your life as simple and comfortable as it can be for you.You even go as far as falling in love with someone. Like I did.Life is much more than all these, it's tiring and confusing, and it's hard, but it's only worth it when you do the right things to make yourself happy.There is a popular saying that says “Life is not a bed of roses”. And that's where I come in. I think life is absolutely pointless. I di
My Very True Love CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN
BRYAN“...and I love you.”Those are the words that leave the beautiful and enticing lips of Diana. I hear them, and then it's a second, then two seconds, then three seconds, then four seconds, and then five seconds, before Diana starts calling out my name, and I'm forced back to the consciousness of the environment around me.“Bryan?”“Bryan?”“Bryan?”“Yh?” I reply, almost still lost.“Are you okay? Did you even hear me?” She asks in a chuckle.“Yes D, Thank you.”Thank you? I must be a fool.There's silence for a hot five seconds, before she forces an awkward smile and says: “Okay.”There's so much pain in her voice when she says that, that it sends a sting to my eyes. Once again, those words that always fail me, I can't say anything, I don't know what to say.I take in a deep and frustrated breath, and I try to explain. I want to explain, but I'm not sure I know what exactly is wrong, or why exactly I froze. Why exactly I can't say those words “I love you” back to her, especiall
My Very True Love CHAPTER THIRTY SIX
DIANA“Okay Diana, your turn.” Bryan says.“Why are you really back?” I ask again, curious.“I thought I just said ‘your turn?’ That means your turn to tell me how your stay here was while I was gone. Not your turn to ask me questions. Plus I already answered your question like 5 minutes ago, remember? When I said you were the reason, and a bunch of other things.”“Then why exactly are you back for me?” I ask turning away from him, waiting for whatever his answer may be.“I don't know? Because I miss you? Because I miss what we had? It's just you Diana.” He sighs, “We're past this Miss Walter. Tell me how your stay was, or I might be forced to make you talk.”“You can't make me talk Bryan.” I roll my eyes at him. But he wasn't joking. He puts his hands around my waist, pulls me closer to him and locks my legs in his. I gasp and then he looks me in the eye. “I'm going to tickle you. You have five seconds.”“Fine, I hate tickles, just let me go.” I plead in laughter. And it's all star
My Very True Love CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE
BRYANThey say you don't know what you have until you lose it. I never knew what LA was to me, until I lost it. I've been back here for almost a week, but I've been sorting things out at work and at home. So I never really had time to visit Mike in his apartment, or really, see Diana.Thankfully, management at work just thought I was off on some family issues, for two good months. I'm just glad they still appreciate my presence here.Once everything is properly sorted out, and I have free time, for the first time in over two months, I make my way to Mike's apartment, hoping even more to see Diana. Wishing to see Diana.Well, what do you know? Wishes do come true. The elevator to the top floor opens, and there's Diana. I stand for a hot few seconds staring at her, and trying to let out a few words. I don't know? Maybe a greeting? A hi? or an ‘It's good to see you’. But as always, the damn words fail me, they just don't come out. So I stare. I stare at Diana.I stare at everything I've
My Very True Love CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR
DIANAThe last time I contemplated calling Bryan was two months ago, Denise made me stop. And since then, there has been no communication between us. He never called, or texted. And I never did either.It's so sad how much so Bryan was part of my life, and now, he isn't. And the bigger shock is how he hasn't tried to reach out, or find out how I'm doing or if I'm okay. In as much as I'd like to believe he's in the same shoes as I am, contemplating calling me or not, my case is different because I have Denise and Lynn stopping me every time I want to, but I don't think there's any body stopping Bryan, Mike wouldn't. But I've learnt to live with the truth, that maybe Bryan just isn't for me.On returning to LA, alot of things shifted, which had me making new decisions. For starters, Mira was going to move in with Daniel, and that meant I had to move out. Even if I wasn't asked to leave, I would have. These people have no shame making out in every corner of the house. So I've been looki
My Very True Love CHAPTER THIRTY THREE
BRYANIt's been two hectic months here in Maine, two months of heavy traffic, numerous work researches, tiring surgical procedures, different people, and two months of trying to adjust to the lifestyle here in Maine. Two months without communication with Diana, and very few conversations with Mike. Actually, Mike is the only person keeping me sane, in the sense that he gives me little information about Diana, like when she cut her hair a bit shorter and got it straightened, and he sneaked a picture in for me.Or when she looked absolutely stunning on make-up she put on for a colleagues house warming party. Which got me absolutely worked up, because I definitely believed it was a date, until Mike convinced me with pictures. Mike also keeps me going with encouragement of course, even though I keep lying to him that it's amazing over here.Sometimes I can't believe things feel like this, I probably should have made my research before coming here, but I was so engrossed in wanting to be
