DIANAI should love this for myself, I should love the way things are going. But I feel so uneasy, I'm trying not to blame it on the call Bryan put through, and how he's literally now in my head. I wanted this, I wanted to get my mind of Bryan, and I wanted to use someone else, I found my someone else, and yet it's not working. I was excited to have sex, the perfect person has come by, the perfect moments, but it still feels all wrong.I look down at my chest, spotting the locket Bryan gifted to me, I caress it with my thumb. Most original present I've ever received, it's pretty little and fashionable, so I wear it all the time, I shower with it and do literally everything with it, and the gold still hasn't washed off in any way, infact it glistens more with every bath I have.My attention returns back to Adrian. The words “I can't do this” or “Please can we head back?” are at the tip of my tongue, but the little smiles Adrian chips in at me from time to time on the ride to his place
BRYANIt's been two hectic months here in Maine, two months of heavy traffic, numerous work researches, tiring surgical procedures, different people, and two months of trying to adjust to the lifestyle here in Maine. Two months without communication with Diana, and very few conversations with Mike. Actually, Mike is the only person keeping me sane, in the sense that he gives me little information about Diana, like when she cut her hair a bit shorter and got it straightened, and he sneaked a picture in for me.Or when she looked absolutely stunning on make-up she put on for a colleagues house warming party. Which got me absolutely worked up, because I definitely believed it was a date, until Mike convinced me with pictures. Mike also keeps me going with encouragement of course, even though I keep lying to him that it's amazing over here.Sometimes I can't believe things feel like this, I probably should have made my research before coming here, but I was so engrossed in wanting to be
DIANAThe last time I contemplated calling Bryan was two months ago, Denise made me stop. And since then, there has been no communication between us. He never called, or texted. And I never did either.It's so sad how much so Bryan was part of my life, and now, he isn't. And the bigger shock is how he hasn't tried to reach out, or find out how I'm doing or if I'm okay. In as much as I'd like to believe he's in the same shoes as I am, contemplating calling me or not, my case is different because I have Denise and Lynn stopping me every time I want to, but I don't think there's any body stopping Bryan, Mike wouldn't. But I've learnt to live with the truth, that maybe Bryan just isn't for me.On returning to LA, alot of things shifted, which had me making new decisions. For starters, Mira was going to move in with Daniel, and that meant I had to move out. Even if I wasn't asked to leave, I would have. These people have no shame making out in every corner of the house. So I've been looki
BRYANThey say you don't know what you have until you lose it. I never knew what LA was to me, until I lost it. I've been back here for almost a week, but I've been sorting things out at work and at home. So I never really had time to visit Mike in his apartment, or really, see Diana.Thankfully, management at work just thought I was off on some family issues, for two good months. I'm just glad they still appreciate my presence here.Once everything is properly sorted out, and I have free time, for the first time in over two months, I make my way to Mike's apartment, hoping even more to see Diana. Wishing to see Diana.Well, what do you know? Wishes do come true. The elevator to the top floor opens, and there's Diana. I stand for a hot few seconds staring at her, and trying to let out a few words. I don't know? Maybe a greeting? A hi? or an ‘It's good to see you’. But as always, the damn words fail me, they just don't come out. So I stare. I stare at Diana.I stare at everything I've
DIANA“Okay Diana, your turn.” Bryan says.“Why are you really back?” I ask again, curious.“I thought I just said ‘your turn?’ That means your turn to tell me how your stay here was while I was gone. Not your turn to ask me questions. Plus I already answered your question like 5 minutes ago, remember? When I said you were the reason, and a bunch of other things.”“Then why exactly are you back for me?” I ask turning away from him, waiting for whatever his answer may be.“I don't know? Because I miss you? Because I miss what we had? It's just you Diana.” He sighs, “We're past this Miss Walter. Tell me how your stay was, or I might be forced to make you talk.”“You can't make me talk Bryan.” I roll my eyes at him. But he wasn't joking. He puts his hands around my waist, pulls me closer to him and locks my legs in his. I gasp and then he looks me in the eye. “I'm going to tickle you. You have five seconds.”“Fine, I hate tickles, just let me go.” I plead in laughter. And it's all star
BRYAN“...and I love you.”Those are the words that leave the beautiful and enticing lips of Diana. I hear them, and then it's a second, then two seconds, then three seconds, then four seconds, and then five seconds, before Diana starts calling out my name, and I'm forced back to the consciousness of the environment around me.“Bryan?”“Bryan?”“Bryan?”“Yh?” I reply, almost still lost.“Are you okay? Did you even hear me?” She asks in a chuckle.“Yes D, Thank you.”Thank you? I must be a fool.There's silence for a hot five seconds, before she forces an awkward smile and says: “Okay.”There's so much pain in her voice when she says that, that it sends a sting to my eyes. Once again, those words that always fail me, I can't say anything, I don't know what to say.I take in a deep and frustrated breath, and I try to explain. I want to explain, but I'm not sure I know what exactly is wrong, or why exactly I froze. Why exactly I can't say those words “I love you” back to her, especiall
DIANAWe can't ever talk about life and how shitty it gets enough. For some people, the purpose of life could be to change the world. Some other people feel that the point of life is to set a goal, meet those goals, and achieve personal fulfillment. While some may even feel that life is just for the purpose of enjoyment.Life comes with a package of losses, you learn how to live with the losses and grow out of it, not accepting defeat. You face the future and throw your past away, avoiding the limitations that come with it. You take on responsibilities, a career, anything, to make your life as simple and comfortable as it can be for you.You even go as far as falling in love with someone. Like I did.Life is much more than all these, it's tiring and confusing, and it's hard, but it's only worth it when you do the right things to make yourself happy.There is a popular saying that says “Life is not a bed of roses”. And that's where I come in. I think life is absolutely pointless. I di
BRYANI pull myself gently into Diana for a kiss, gentle not to take in the whole of her while we're directly outside her workplace. “Let's take this to mine.” I whisper in her ears as I nibble on them.“I concur.” She replies in a chuckle.The drive on the way to my house is unarguably the best ride I've had in my whole life. The car was almost never silent, it was filled with our laughter, or Diana's beautiful voice, or mine. And when the car was silent, it was filled with stolen gazes from both of us. When we finally get to my place, I turn off the car engine and drop my head back, tired. “Let's go.” I say as I turn to face Diana, who is looking at me adamantly. “Don't you want to get out?” I ask in a chuckle.“We're at your place.” She says, stating the obvious.“Yes Diana, we are.” I laugh and try to exit the car, but she pulls my arms back.“Diana, what the hell.” I'm really laughing now, but without clue of why I am. “You said: ‘Let's take this to mine.’ We're are your plac
BRYAN“Take a test D. This could be anything, let's not jump into conclusions. I'm very certain you are not pregnant, I played safe Diana.”These are the words that find way out of my mouth in the very state I found myself in. Standing there, and not a single clue of what I would do, thoughts flying into my mind, and a single sentence bringing back tough memories I've tried hard to forget over a long period of time.I hate feeling this way, but I'm sure, there's no reason, she just can't be pregnant.Fuck me!“How are you just so sure that I'm not pregnant Bryan? I want to know. Because we had unprotected sex a number of times, I'm don't know how you're so sure.” Diana asks in a brittle voice.“I know what I'm capable of Diana, I_ I just_ Look, I took my precautionary measures. I'm sure you aren't.” I take in a deep breath, moving closer towards her and taking her hands into mine. “I don't want us to let this escalate Diana, it's as simple as taking a test and confirming before jumpin
DIANARemember how I said my life wasn't a bed of roses or lilies but after Bryan they started to line up? Yh, he probably just lined two or three up the past few hours.He not only said that he loves me, he helped me get over my past trauma, and he gave me the best sex I've ever had in my life. Who knew car sex could be that fun? After everything, we go inside for proper rest. I stare at the beauty of the house once again and become curious about the pictures on the wall.“Who are the children in the pictures on the wall?” I ask as I touch one of them. “This one looks like me, I like her. Who are they?”Bryan chuckles.“They are the children from the orphanage, funny you should point out that young girl you know, she has hair like yours and has a shockingly similar name to yours. Dane.”“Dane and Diana aren't alike, they just have the same first letters.” I say in a chuckle.Bryan smile at me as I move around, admiring every picture, each not even as beautiful as his smile to me. “
BRYANI pull myself gently into Diana for a kiss, gentle not to take in the whole of her while we're directly outside her workplace. “Let's take this to mine.” I whisper in her ears as I nibble on them.“I concur.” She replies in a chuckle.The drive on the way to my house is unarguably the best ride I've had in my whole life. The car was almost never silent, it was filled with our laughter, or Diana's beautiful voice, or mine. And when the car was silent, it was filled with stolen gazes from both of us. When we finally get to my place, I turn off the car engine and drop my head back, tired. “Let's go.” I say as I turn to face Diana, who is looking at me adamantly. “Don't you want to get out?” I ask in a chuckle.“We're at your place.” She says, stating the obvious.“Yes Diana, we are.” I laugh and try to exit the car, but she pulls my arms back.“Diana, what the hell.” I'm really laughing now, but without clue of why I am. “You said: ‘Let's take this to mine.’ We're are your plac
DIANAWe can't ever talk about life and how shitty it gets enough. For some people, the purpose of life could be to change the world. Some other people feel that the point of life is to set a goal, meet those goals, and achieve personal fulfillment. While some may even feel that life is just for the purpose of enjoyment.Life comes with a package of losses, you learn how to live with the losses and grow out of it, not accepting defeat. You face the future and throw your past away, avoiding the limitations that come with it. You take on responsibilities, a career, anything, to make your life as simple and comfortable as it can be for you.You even go as far as falling in love with someone. Like I did.Life is much more than all these, it's tiring and confusing, and it's hard, but it's only worth it when you do the right things to make yourself happy.There is a popular saying that says “Life is not a bed of roses”. And that's where I come in. I think life is absolutely pointless. I di
BRYAN“...and I love you.”Those are the words that leave the beautiful and enticing lips of Diana. I hear them, and then it's a second, then two seconds, then three seconds, then four seconds, and then five seconds, before Diana starts calling out my name, and I'm forced back to the consciousness of the environment around me.“Bryan?”“Bryan?”“Bryan?”“Yh?” I reply, almost still lost.“Are you okay? Did you even hear me?” She asks in a chuckle.“Yes D, Thank you.”Thank you? I must be a fool.There's silence for a hot five seconds, before she forces an awkward smile and says: “Okay.”There's so much pain in her voice when she says that, that it sends a sting to my eyes. Once again, those words that always fail me, I can't say anything, I don't know what to say.I take in a deep and frustrated breath, and I try to explain. I want to explain, but I'm not sure I know what exactly is wrong, or why exactly I froze. Why exactly I can't say those words “I love you” back to her, especiall
DIANA“Okay Diana, your turn.” Bryan says.“Why are you really back?” I ask again, curious.“I thought I just said ‘your turn?’ That means your turn to tell me how your stay here was while I was gone. Not your turn to ask me questions. Plus I already answered your question like 5 minutes ago, remember? When I said you were the reason, and a bunch of other things.”“Then why exactly are you back for me?” I ask turning away from him, waiting for whatever his answer may be.“I don't know? Because I miss you? Because I miss what we had? It's just you Diana.” He sighs, “We're past this Miss Walter. Tell me how your stay was, or I might be forced to make you talk.”“You can't make me talk Bryan.” I roll my eyes at him. But he wasn't joking. He puts his hands around my waist, pulls me closer to him and locks my legs in his. I gasp and then he looks me in the eye. “I'm going to tickle you. You have five seconds.”“Fine, I hate tickles, just let me go.” I plead in laughter. And it's all star
BRYANThey say you don't know what you have until you lose it. I never knew what LA was to me, until I lost it. I've been back here for almost a week, but I've been sorting things out at work and at home. So I never really had time to visit Mike in his apartment, or really, see Diana.Thankfully, management at work just thought I was off on some family issues, for two good months. I'm just glad they still appreciate my presence here.Once everything is properly sorted out, and I have free time, for the first time in over two months, I make my way to Mike's apartment, hoping even more to see Diana. Wishing to see Diana.Well, what do you know? Wishes do come true. The elevator to the top floor opens, and there's Diana. I stand for a hot few seconds staring at her, and trying to let out a few words. I don't know? Maybe a greeting? A hi? or an ‘It's good to see you’. But as always, the damn words fail me, they just don't come out. So I stare. I stare at Diana.I stare at everything I've
DIANAThe last time I contemplated calling Bryan was two months ago, Denise made me stop. And since then, there has been no communication between us. He never called, or texted. And I never did either.It's so sad how much so Bryan was part of my life, and now, he isn't. And the bigger shock is how he hasn't tried to reach out, or find out how I'm doing or if I'm okay. In as much as I'd like to believe he's in the same shoes as I am, contemplating calling me or not, my case is different because I have Denise and Lynn stopping me every time I want to, but I don't think there's any body stopping Bryan, Mike wouldn't. But I've learnt to live with the truth, that maybe Bryan just isn't for me.On returning to LA, alot of things shifted, which had me making new decisions. For starters, Mira was going to move in with Daniel, and that meant I had to move out. Even if I wasn't asked to leave, I would have. These people have no shame making out in every corner of the house. So I've been looki
BRYANIt's been two hectic months here in Maine, two months of heavy traffic, numerous work researches, tiring surgical procedures, different people, and two months of trying to adjust to the lifestyle here in Maine. Two months without communication with Diana, and very few conversations with Mike. Actually, Mike is the only person keeping me sane, in the sense that he gives me little information about Diana, like when she cut her hair a bit shorter and got it straightened, and he sneaked a picture in for me.Or when she looked absolutely stunning on make-up she put on for a colleagues house warming party. Which got me absolutely worked up, because I definitely believed it was a date, until Mike convinced me with pictures. Mike also keeps me going with encouragement of course, even though I keep lying to him that it's amazing over here.Sometimes I can't believe things feel like this, I probably should have made my research before coming here, but I was so engrossed in wanting to be