I have stayed in the house since we returned from Yvette’s wedding. I can still remember the way Tom rejected me. Sometimes, the words slut and dirty still ring in my ears like a buzz of flies. I want to do something about it, but I know I can’t. It’s my fault, anyway, for trusting too much, for believing in his love. Screaming and hitting something for a sense of release is something that I do not deserve. “Oh god, Cassie, my wife...” Liam moans against my back as he pumps into me, and I am brought back to reality. Right, I remember. The instant he arrives, he’s done nothing but kiss and caress me. And as the slut I am, my body responds to him just as eagerly. But these last few days, I find myself getting lost in my own world, as if I am losing hold of my reality. I feel Liam’s release at the same time that tears stream down my cheeks. “Cassie?” Liam asks. He moves away from me and looks at my face. “Why are you crying? Did it hurt?” I shake my head. “No. I just remembered some
“Why didn’t you fight back?” Liam asks the instant we enter our bedroom. I mumble something unintelligible and sit on the couch. I don’t want to answer because I am already on the edge as it is. He sits beside me and checks the bruises that Heidi caused. “I always thought you were a fighter, but now, it stumps me why you didn’t fight back,” he repeats, as if wanting to be cleared of his confusion. “Because I deserve it,” I finally answer while he checks the wound on the side of my neck. His eyes return to mine. “You deserve to be assaulted and humiliated in public?” I nod as I grab my arms. “She is right. I am well aware that Tom has a live-in partner and a child. I should have said no when he asked me to live with him.” “He asked you to live with him?!” “Actually, even before that… when he said he loved me, I shouldn’t have responded that I love him, too.” “You love him?!” “Come to think of it, when we were in San Francisco, I already knew what I was doing, but I was enjoying
Liam is pumping on top of me, my legs are on either side of him. His groans of pleasure echo across the bedroom. And all I am thinking is, until when he will make love to me. I am exhausted already. Suddenly, he takes hold of my face and makes me look at him. I shift my attention to him at the same time that liquid falls on my face. I blink as I look up and see him crying. “Cassie...” he whimpers. He buries his face in my shoulders as his body trembles. He embraces me, but each of his quivers is no longer because of pleasure. “You hate this now, don’t you?” he asks. “Making love to me... It doesn’t feel the same way for you anymore...” I didn’t answer. Rather, I shift my attention again to the same spot in the ceiling. “But I can’t let you go that easy. I need time to adjust without you. I need to make love to you as much as I can, so I won’t regret anything. These feelings… I need to rush these so they will all die down. But no matter how much we do it... I can’t seem to lower t
I feel a light touch on my cheeks. I open my eyes to see Liam hovering over me. “Hi, Cassie,” he whispers. “Lukas is worried about you.” I glance at the clock. It hasn’t been an hour since I’ve fallen asleep. My body feels so heavy. I shift my attention to him as he removes his clothes. Right, he’s here to use my body again. I wonder how much he plans to pay again. Then he climbs on the bed and pins me underneath him. “However, Lukas doesn’t know that another man is causing this to you. You heard about it, right? Tom is finally marrying Heidi?” I look away as he takes hold of my wrists. “Every time I see you in pain because of another man. Do you know what I think of?” he asks. “Jealousy, Cassie. Every time I see you pained because of another man, I want to take you repeatedly until you realize that you are mine.” He leans down, and I flinch as he bites my neck. “I am trying to forget about you. But instead of getting bored with you, I am falling deeper and deeper with you every
"Cassie! You almost gave me a heart attack!" It is my mother who scrutinizes me from head to foot. "Look at you. You've become thin!" "You're exaggerating, mom," I say as I respond to her hug. "I told you. Take a vacation in the province for a while. It will lift your spirits up." I grin at her. "Soon, mom," I say. Besides, there's only a little over a year before my contract with Liam ends. "I heard you are pregnant. You'll be more healthy in the province, I assure you." "I'm good here." "Where is your husband, anyway?" "At work." "And Lukas?" "School." "See that? If you are in the province, you will always be with someone!" Soon, I have no other choice but to be in the province. When I don’t answer, she groans and says, "When I heard you were in the hospital, I was so anxious! I thought that maybe the same thing happened to you as your Aunt Ynez!" Aunt Ynez is my independent, beautiful aunt who died alone in her house. They found her rotting corpse five days after her dea
Lukas clicks the last button on his laptop and turns to me with a triumphant smile. “I did it! I finished the application forms!” he exclaims, his eyes shining with excitement. I meet his gaze, my lips turning up a little. “You sure did.” “Thank you, Cassie!” he says, grinning. “I think we need to celebrate!” “I don’t think you should thank me already. And also, you just finished the application form. You haven’t passed it, much less taken the exam.” Lukas’ mouth splits into a grin. “Small steps should be celebrated, right? You are the one who taught me that.” I roll my eyes. “Don’t make me regret I ever teach you.” Besides, even if my meals are scheduled and balanced. Even if I am forced to exercise, I still feel so heavy. I don’t want to do anything except stay at home, stare at nothing, or sleep. “I haven’t been in a local amusement park with my father,” Lukas starts, ignoring my rejection. “I think it will be a great way to take our minds off everything. Besides, my exam wi
As Liam continues to rant, I can feel my mind slipping away from the present. I imagine myself at home, alone and free from all of this. Suddenly, Liam’s grip tightens on my shoulders, which pulls me back to reality. I look up at him. He is angry, but I don’t fear him. Why? He can easily hurt me if he wanted to. “That’s still what you want, huh? To leave me?! To leave us?!” he growls. I didn’t try to pull away from him. Maybe I am just too tired. “Well, Cassie, before you leave us. I will take whatever I can from you.” And then, without warning, he leans in and kisses me roughly. I freeze as his lips press down on mine, hard and demanding. His tongue invades my mouth, exploring and tasting every inch. Yet, I didn’t protest or push him away. I just let him take what he wants. When he pulls away, I can see the hurt, anger, and disappointment in his eyes. “You haven’t even physically left, and yet, I feel like you are no longer here.” Then he releases me from his grip and turns aw
I wake up with the warmth of the sun shining through the window. I open my eyes. The windows are already open and my head is resting on the pillow. After a momentary knock on the door, it opens, revealing both Liam and a past middle-aged man in a white polo shirt. He has thick glasses and is carrying a small back bag. “Good morning, Cassie,” he says, his voice warm and friendly. “I’m Doctor Davis. I heard from Liam that you had a minor accident yesterday?” I sit up from the bed. “Minor accident,” I say, emphasizing the word ‘minor’ and looking over at Liam, who is not meeting my gaze. “Your husband thinks that it’s safer for me to come by and check up on you.” “I don’t know,” I say. “My husband should have asked me first so we could set up a better time rather than me just waking up and seeing that I have a guest.” Dr. Davis turns to look at Liam before shifting his attention to me. “I can sense that you are a bit angry.” I did not respond. Instead, I focus my gaze on the open w
********* A FEW YEARS LATER *********** I run my hand over my bulging stomach, savoring the warmth of the afternoon sun as it filters through the living room window. I am close now. The doctor says that any day this week I will give birth to a boy. Nearby, Lukas and Alinn teach Andy how to play a new board game, while Liam hovers close by and places snacks and drinks on the table. “Are you okay? Anything you need?” Liam asks. I grin at him. “I need my husband to sit beside me and hold my hand.” Liam’s face softens, and he nods, quickly making his way over to the couch beside me. As he sits down, he takes my hand in his, his fingers lacing through mine. I lean into him, my head resting on his shoulder. He wraps an arm around me, holding me close and kissing my forehead. This time, I am not afraid. Because now, I feel safe and loved, surrounded by the people who mean the most to me. We will move forward, because we know now, that we are unstoppable together. ********* ANOTHER FEW
I chop vegetables for dinner as I note the instructions Lukas jotted down for our dinner. Liam enters the room, wraps his arms around my waist, and playfully nuzzles my neck. “Guess who?” he whispers, his breath tickling my skin. “Could it be... my handsome husband?” I tease. I turn in his embrace, meeting his lips with a sweet kiss before returning to my task. “Any updates on our lovebirds?” Liam asks, referring to Lukas and Alinn. “Actually, they went on a date yesterday evening,” I respond. “I think things are getting more serious between them.” “Good for them,” Liam says sincerely. He leans against the counter, watching me. “Remember how nervous we were when we first started dating?” “Of course,” I laugh. “We are so nervous that we shared a kiss during that same day and even made love when the evening came.” He laughs. “But look at us now. I want to ravish you every time I lay my eyes on you.” I caress his cheeks. “And we’ll do that once we are done with food and shower,” I
It’s already late in the afternoon when the four of us, Liam, Lukas, Andy and me, start the stroll through the bustling market in Morocco. All the vibrant colors, the tantalizing scents and cacophony of voices are overwhelming. Andy seems to enjoy everything, and she has become very curious. Once, she even asks what the two locals are doing. I explain to her that they are haggling over prices. And every time she sees some exotic wares, she will clap her hands in delight. Something that never fails to put a grin on Lukas’ face. “Mom! Stunning!” Andy exclaims as she points to a beautifully embroidered scarf. Liam chuckles. “It is. You can take what you like, Andy.” Andy squeals and pulls Lukas with her into the shop. On the other hand, Liam takes one scarf and drapes the fabric around my neck. He gazes at my face and whispers, “It really is stunning.” I blush, especially when last night was very hot—too passionate, in fact, that I wasn’t able to get up until it was close to lunch.
The lush garden surrounds an elegant white gazebo. There are cascading floral arrangements that are draped gracefully over the lattices. Not to mention the sweet scent in the warm air. And beneath the canopy of flowers, I stand with Liam. We are gazing into each other’s eyes as our family and friends gather around us. Everyone is dressed at their finest, chattering excitedly amongst themselves while sipping champagne and nibbling on mouth-watering hors d’oeuvres. My mother is wiping away a tear as she looks at us. My father is beaming proudly at her side. With all our relatives around us, this is a far cry from when we had our first wedding. “Ready?” Liam asks beside me, his voice full of tender reassurance. I nod, my eyes shining with happiness and love. “Friends and family,” the officiant begins. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the love and commitment of Liam and Cassie. Today, they choose to renew their vows, solidifying their bond and reaffirming their devotion to on
Suddenly, a waiter approaches us and clears his throat. Liam and I look at him. There is an awkward smile on his face. “Apologies for disturbing you, ma’am, sir, but your food is ready. Should I... ahm, send it here? Or should I pack it up or something?” he asks. Given the time to breathe, I reach for my wineglass and take a slow, deliberate sip. As the rich liquid warms my throat, I resolve to face my emotions head-on. “We are going to continue our date night here,” Liam answers while staring hard at me. The waiter gestures for the others to come closer. They set down plates and bowls in front of the table while Liam fixes himself and sits across me. When the waiters leave, Liam reaches for my hand again. “You see, Cassie. You might have forgotten, but this is the anniversary of when we met at that police station. The first time you kissed me.” “Oh.” “You also think that you were not pretty enough back then. That you are undeserving of love.” I purse my lips again. I glance at
I arrive at the elegant restaurant alone, my heart heavy with the weight of agreeing to Scarlet’s request. Even the soft glow of the candlelight that dances against the polished silverware and crystal glasses on the tables do not improve my mood. The atmosphere is intimate, and it could have been a perfect night with Liam. I take a deep breath, inhaling the rich aroma of seared scallops and garlic butter that fill the air. “Reservation for two under Mr. Chapman?” I ask the hostess who has come to assist me. “Of course,” the hostess replies, leading me to a secluded table by the window. “Your server will be with you shortly.” “Thank you,” I murmur, taking my seat while noting the crisp, white linen napkin and the glasses on the table. I glance around the room. Couples are sharing tender smiles and stealing kisses from each other. The sight only deepens the ache in my chest, reminding me of my earlier decision. “Good evening, ma’am,” a friendly server greets me as he approaches the
I stand in front of a full-length mirror, my reflection framed by the delicate curve of the gilded edges. I watch the way the smooth silk of my midnight blue dress clings to my body, accentuating my curves and cascading until my knees. Then I adjust the thin straps over my shoulders. The anticipation of my romantic date with Liam is making my heart race. There is a knock on the door and I say, “Come in,” my voice sounding happier. The soft click of heels makes my hand pause on the fabric of my dress. I turn my attention to the guest and see Scarlet looking me up and down. I purse my lips at her beauty. She is definitely a sight in yet another red dress–a contrast to her creamy skin. Scarlet’s eyes take in every inch of me, appraising me like a predator sizing up its prey. “Hmmm,” she mutters. “You are starting to look the part of being Liam Chapman’s wife.” “I am his wife,” I tell her. I am just not sure until when. “It’s a pity, really,” she says, her voice dripping with sacchar
Last night, I was dreaming about Lukas and Liam’s laughter again and I woke up with a mix of love and fear. I sigh. This is just fine. I know that my decision to distance myself is for the best. “Momma, Lukas?” Andy asks, still stuttering. “Tomorrow, dear, okay? Your brother will come here to play with you.” She nods and takes hold of a doll. Lukas has gone to the beach with Scarlet. As for Liam, he decided to finish his work in the office. “For today, it’s just you and me...” I whisper. “And probably, in the future too.” I settle in the chair and my gaze lingers on the family photos adorning the walls. Most of it are pictures of Lukas and Andy, but there is also Alinn, Liam, and me. I really do miss doing activities with them. When my eyes fill with tears, I blink them away. I chose this. I should not be sad about this. I have to be stronger than this. More unfeeling than this. I can walk away, just like how I escaped from all the men and drama around me before. They said it bef
“Are you okay, love?” Liam asks. He is on top of me, still panting from the pleasure we just shared. I smile at him, attempting to hide the turmoil raging within me–anxiety that I only feel every time we stop drowning in our pleasure. “I am fine,” I lie. Liam’s piercing eyes search mine, but instead of pressing further, he brushes a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. “I am not such a skilled conversationalist, but please know that I will listen to you, any time you want to talk about something.” I beam at him and I hook my arms around his neck. “I always see you as a great communicator, though.” “Maybe I communicate my love for you in bed? Where you will feel it the most?” he asks, playful now. “I think we should wear our clothes and pause from communicating in bed. I need to check up on Andy.” He presses a kiss on my neck. “Lukas and the nanny are here. Stay a little more in my arms.” I giggle, but then I push him away from me. Sitting up and retrieving my clothes, my min