ELIZABETH.
What I wake up to is the loud shouts of my name from my mom.
I let out a loud groan as I throw my covers shielding me away from the light and lean against my headboard then her call comes again, “Elizabeth! Are you not up yet? It’s getting late. “
“I’m up. I’ll be down in a few. “ I scream back and there’s finally silence. I cover my mouth as a yawn slips through my lips and I do a stretch of my body with a few bones cracking before I begin to move out of bed.
Walking out of my room, I take the path that leads me to her and as I take the last stair, Mom appears before me with a huge smile on her face.
“Hey baby, “ She greets as she wraps her hands around my waist; the fact that I’m on a stair giving her easier access to it.
When she pulls back, I lift a brow, “What’s with the morning affection?”
She chuckles as she pulls her hands to her sides. “I’ve always been affectionate, haven’t I?”
“Yes, but it feels different. You just called me baby and you rarely do that. “
She shrugs as she steps away and I move down from the last stair to follow her.
“I guess I just happen to be in a good mood. “
“Right. What happened last night? You didn’t come home. “
“I did, “ She disagrees, glancing over her shoulder at me before she turns to the front again; leaving me with the view of her black shiny hair. No doubt I got mine from her.
“I got held up so I arrived late. You were fast asleep and I didn’t want to disturb your peace so I quietly settled. “
We arrive in the kitchen and Mom stops at the counter as she turns back to me. She gives me a once over before she says, “And why didn’t you take out that gown?”
“Was too tired. “ I respond and she hums.
“Alright. Before you get ready for school, you should know I want you back early today. “ Her expression changes as she utters the last part. Not in a bad way. But in a way where her face glows even more and her eyes gleam brighter than before.
I raise a suspicious brow, “Why? What’s the occasion?”
“You’ll see. “ She grins. “Now go get ready. You’re getting late for school. “ She turns her back to me and I stare at the view for seconds; wondering what’s got her so radiant and happy. I know my mother to be a positive woman who smiles no matter what situation she’s in but there’s something different about this vibe and I’m dying to find out what exactly it is that’s got her this way.
“Alright. “ I say and make my way out of the kitchen to get ready for school.
~
“Hey. We might have to postpone checking out that place later today. Dad needs me home earlier. “ I shut my locker and James comes into my view.
I nod and fasten the string of my bag. “I was going to tell you I can’t make it either. “
“You got other plans?” He asks and I nod. “Yeah. For some weird reason, Mom wants me home early too. I think it’s a good thing. She was all beaming and glowing this morning. “ I smile.
“Hm. We go some other time then. “ He says and I agree before I let my eyes move down his body. He’s in the school uniform, which looks ugly on most but not James. I’m yet to find something that’d look ugly on this boy I swear to god.
“Okay. I’ll catch you later. I need to get to class. See you at lunch?” He says, bringing me out of my thoughts and I hum, moving into his open arms for the hug he usually gives before we depart.
A hug that tortures me in a way because I want to stay longer than he lets. Not just because of the amazing feel of his warmth but also the nice smell of his perfume.
“Catch you later cutie. “ It’s his last words before he pulls away and leaves.
I wait for his frame to completely disappear before I turn back and I’m taken aback by the person before me.
Giselle. Oh god. Not her again.
“What are you doing?” I ask and she steps closer. “I need your help and before you urgently have to leave; I really really need you. “
I sigh, “Giselle. Please—“
“I know you’re friends with James and I know I probably look embarrassing doing this–“ At least you’re self-aware. Stop being rude Elizabeth. “But I really like James and he keeps avoiding me. “
“Isn’t that enough for you to get the message?” I mutter under my breath.
“What?” Giselle says and I raise my head to her. “Look Gisselle. I wish I could help you. I really do. “ I don’t. “But I can’t. If James is avoiding you then it’s probably for a reason. You really should stop chasing after him every day. That wouldn’t get his attention. It’d only make him annoyed. You should forget about him and look elsewhere. I’m sorry. “ With those words, I walk out of her sight.
And I hope she listens this time. Though I can’t say if that hope is for me wanting her to honestly stop following James around because it annoys me or because it annoys James.
~
“Who got your attention that bad?” I raise my head at the sound of James's voice and chuckle as I send the text before I put my phone away.
“It’s no one. “ I reply to his question and take a sip of my drink.
“You’ve been on your phone since we got here. You barely touched your food. “ He points out and my phone dings again.
I grab it to respond to yet another text from Louis.
“See?” James says.
“It’s just Louis. “
“The boy from the party uh. I told you he likes you, didn’t I?” He utters with a smug face and I shake my head. “It’s not in that way. He’s just being friendly. “
“Fine. If you say so. I’ll let you find out yourself. “ He chuckles as he returns his attention to his food and I reply to Louis's text.
LOUIS: I’ve been speaking about me but you haven’t said a single word about yourself.
ME: Girl. Love school. There’s not much to know.
I ensure it’s delivered before I put my phone away.
I turn my gaze to James and I watch as he chews slowly on his nuggets, murmuring to himself. I can’t help the stupid smile that covers my face.
Love watching my best friend eat.
AFTER SCHOOL.
“What do you think? Do I look alright?” Mom swirls in front of me and I smile. “Yes for the thousandth time mother, you look beautiful. Who’s visiting that’s got you so worried about how you look?”
Everything is honestly strange. She refuses to tell me who’s coming or what we’ll be doing. She’s in a red gown that looks too formal for just a friend's visit and her hair is done. Whatever is happening, it’s clearly important to her.
“Okay good. You look beautiful too. That’s enough. We should—“ She’s interrupted by the sound of our doorbell and she does a small excited jump.
“That must be them. Come on. Behind me. “ She orders as she leads the way while I do as I’m told.
She opens the door, and I stand confused at the sight of James and his father. What the hell is happening?
“Come on in. “ Mom ushers them in with a big smile and they step in while she closes the door.
James is dressed in a black and white formal suit just like his dad but his hair remains messy on his head. That doesn’t make him any less hot in that suit though. If anything, it aids his hotness.
James immediately moves to my side. “I don’t know what’s happening either. I didn’t realize it was your place until we got here. Dad said nothing. “ He explains, reminding me of the awkward situation we’ve got here.
“Mom refuses to say anything too. “
We both turn our gaze to the adults and I watch as Gabriel, James's father engulfs my mom in a hug. One that looks… tight? Since when did they get that close?
“Hey, Samantha. You look stunning. “
James and I make eye contact at those words.
Samantha? Since when do they use casual names?
They move away from each other and Mom returns to my side while James goes back to Gabriel’s side, with the same look of confusion I’m sure I have on.
After an exchange of greetings, we move into the living room. James and I take one couch while Mom and Gabriel take another.
“This is weird. Why do they look so intimate?“ James whisper.
“Shut up. “ I tell him and he chuckles.
There’s complete silence in the room as we wait for whatever this is about and Gabriel is the first to speak.
“Alright, kids. I’m sure you must be feeling surprised by what’s going on…” No doubt we do. “Don’t worry. Your curiosity will be satisfied once I announce what we have to say. “
James and I exchange another look as I shift in my seat.
I do not like this feeling. Whatever it is Gabriel is about to say, I don’t think it’s something I’d like.
ELIZABETH. I was right. I, in fact, do not like whatever is happening right now. I watch as Gabriel places his hand over my mom’s and she doesn’t flinch at all. If anything; she seems completely used to it with that small smile that appears by the corner of her mouth.My mind tells me that I already know what they want to announce but my heart refuses to believe it. “We plan to get married. “Gabriel finally drops the bomb and I can’t hear anything else in the room over the loud beats of my heart. A heart that’s beating from astonishment, betrayal, and fear? Why am I feeling betrayed? I’ve got no idea. “What? Is that a joke?” I hear James's voice, drawing me back to the situation at hand and my gaze falls on my mom. She’s staring at me, anxiousness all over her face. She speaks next, “It’s true. Gabriel and I have been seeing each other for a while and we have good feelings towards each other. We want to take it to the next level but we want you kids to know first. “ She doesn’t
ELIZABETH.~WEDDING DAY~“You look really beautiful today. “ I tell Mom as I stand behind her and meet her eyes in the mirror. She’s truly looking so elegant in her blue wedding gown. Mom didn’t want it white for a reason she refused to let me know but she doesn’t look any less beautiful in this. She smiles. “Thanks, my love. You’re looking sweet yourself. “ She comments and I look down at the short flowy white gown I have on. It’s sleeveless which leaves my torso and shoulders on display. I smile and gently place my hands on her shoulders. I give the skin a soft squeeze as I ask her in a gentle tone, “Are you happy mother?”She drops her hand over mine and rubs it. “I am. Very happy, Elizabeth. “ And I know she means that. “And it makes me, even more, happier to know that. “ I say and she nods gently. She lets go of my hand and I remove my hands from her shoulders. “You’re comfortable yeah? No negative feelings?” She raises a brow and I’m quick to nod. “None. ““Good. I made sure
ELIZABETH. “Wow. This is looking huger than when I came. “ Mom says immediately we walk through the front door of our new home, each with our luggage in hand. “I helped pick this out. “ James whispers to me with a smile, obviously proud of what he’s done. “You won’t tell me what good job I’ve done?” He frowns when I don’t answer and I shake my head as I drag my luggage forward. The house is quite big. Bigger than our previous home and I can tell a considerable amount of money must have gone into this. “I’m sure you kids must be tired. You should retire to bed. “ Mom announces. She’s still in her after-party white feathery gown and she hasn’t stopped glowing; I guess that’s what being genuinely happy does to you. “Goodnight. “ I mutter before I start to drag my luggage up the stairs. “I’ll take this one. “ James appears out of nowhere, calling dibs on the right room and I look to my left before I return my gaze to him. “I got here first. “ “I said it first. “ “You can be so
ELIZABETH. “Hey. “ It’s James happy voice and I turn to him with a fake smile. “Hey. You have someone over?”He nods and walks into the kitchen with his hands behind him. “Yeah. I hope you have no problem with that?”I shouldn’t right? That doesn’t stop me from teasing him though. “I thought you’d want to get used to the house before you start bringing your flings in. “ I can’t tell if I really meant it as a tease.“Is that jealousy I hear?” He taunts me and I glare at him, earning a laugh. Then he says, “It’s just us for the day, and thought I could use myself a bit of fun. “ You don’t find staying around me for long fun then?“Right. “ I smile. “Her again. You must be having quite the fun with her. “ I nod my head towards the direction of the living room where I’m sure the girl is waiting for him and he turns in the same direction before meeting my eyes, “Better than I thought. ““You must really like her. “ I don’t know why I’m still talking. “You brought her to the wedding. Now
ELIZABETH. I scurry off the floor and make my way to the bathroom. Shame and guilt fill me as I lean against the tiled wall with my eyes shut. I can’t believe I just did that. Masturbate while eavesdropping on their private moment. “That was so low of you. “ I mutter under my breath as I get rid of the clothes I have on, my panties going first; feeling too disgusted in them. I turn on the shower and step under the cold water, rubbing and scrubbing my body in hopes of stopping the shame that crawls my skin. After spending minutes intensely washing my skin, I finally take a proper bath and drop my clothes in the sink just next to the exit before I walk back into my room with a towel wrapped around my body. “I feel like I can finally breathe again. “ I mutter as I walk to my closet to get fresh clothes. After getting dressed, I grab my phone and plug in my headphones to drown out any conversations I could potentially hear. As I lay there, gently rocking my head to the soft beats of
ELIZABETH.It’s been a long, tortuous week.A week filled with torment, awkwardness, and only a bit of awesomeness.We’re starting to open up to each other in the house. I can now stay in the room with Gabriel for more than ten minutes before having to feel like my seat is on fire and we communicate better. No one is happier about this improvement other than my mother. She seems to think I dislike Gabriel–if only she knows the truth about why I behave the way I do.And James. James tortured me on nights when there’ll be those familiar noises coming from his room and I start to wonder why they had to get a place with those thin walls. He’s being however quite sneaky about it. I remain clueless about what he does until I hear those sounds, and I wonder why he’s being so sly about it. James is never the type to sneak a girl in, and I’m pretty sure his dad knows all about his adventures.“Hey. “Louis’s voice takes me out of my thoughts and back into reality, and I smile as I greet him. “H
ELIZABETH. I stand in front of the bathroom's small mirror with my toothbrush in hand and I groan at how puffy my eyes are and the trail of dried tears on my cheeks. I couldn’t stop my tears last night and I hated that so much. I hated how pathetic I felt. How pathetic he made me feel. I’ve always hated fighting with James but this is so much different. I hate how bad I feel about it too. I sigh and apply the paste on my brush, one hand harshly rubbing on my cheeks to wipe off the dried tears, until I’m afraid I might leave a scar while I use the other hand to brush. ~After calming myself with the hot water and taking longer in the bathroom than necessary, I step back into my room with a small towel wrapped around my body. I move to my closet and open it to take out my school uniform when my phone vibrates on my bed. With the school uniform in hand, I turn to retrieve it and Louis's text is staring back at me. There’s more than one and I slowly scroll to reveal all. LOUIS: Did
ELIZABETH.His lips stay against mine for a second and just as he opens his mouth, I press my hands to his chest to stop him and he moves back with a dazed expression on his face.His hooded eyes are staring right into mine and I feel my panties dampen between my thighs when his breath comes out in short pants.I move my hand from his chest to his face and trace a finger over his bottom lip. It feels soft against my fingertips, and I want to bite and suck on it until it’s bruised."Lizzie. " James calls my name as he moves one hand over the one I have on his face. He guides my finger from his lip to his mouth and a gasp falls from my mouth at the feel of his warm tongue against the skin as he sucks on my middle finger."Fuck." I mutter and James smirks before he lets my finger slips from his mouth. He doesn’t move, and he doesn’t do anything else as he waits for me to make my next move and the tension between us can cut through a wood as we breathe in a rhythm.God. I can’t hold on any
ELIZABETH.—TWO MONTHS LATER.Miley is saying something about organizing a party for my birthday, but I’m not paying attention as my gaze runs along the words on my screen, my left palm pressed to my cheek. As if she’s right here with me and knows I’m not listening, her voice booms through the speaker, "Elizabeth? You’re not listening to me, are you?"I gaze at the phone on the desk, and the screen reads for fifteen minutes. I think I stopped paying attention around five minutes, but I still lie and say, "Of course I am.""What were my last words?""You were saying…" I trail off and there’s silence on her side. "… something about Darcy and a party.""Elizabeth!" I can imagine the frown on her face as she calls my name and I chuckle, finally grabbing the phone as I lean back in my chair. "Sorry, I’m just busy with work. I really don’t want a party, Mile.""Are you leaving for James?"I purse my lips, a small wave of sadness hitting me and my voice is small when I answer, "No. He’s busy,
ELIZABETH.—FOUR YEARS LATER.I’m nervous.My harsh breathing fills the tiny space of the car and I rub my palms together before I look out the window with my heart racing in my chest.Everything goes past me in a blur. Houses, shops and restaurants. And the closer the car gets me to him, the faster my heart pounds; so loud that I can no longer hear the words the driver is uttering to me.I don’t know why I’m this nervous.Actually, I do. I haven’t seen him in almost a year. It shouldn’t be any big deal since we speak occasionally over the phone; video calls, voice calls, texts. We tried to remain close in every way possible and although I had tried hard to convince myself those were more than enough; I knew they couldn’t compare to seeing him with my naked eyes. Like I’m about to do very soon.I’ve been counting down the days until I’ll stand before James and now that it’s come, I can’t help the nervousness that spikes through me. Along with a tiny fear. I don’t want it to be there, b
Hello loves,First, I’d love to thank you all for being so patient with me on this book. Despite the long gap between the updates and my disappearance, you still waited patiently for James and Elizabeth’s story and no words can describe how thankful I am to have you all. I won’t lie; I wasn’t so sure I’d be able to find the excitement I felt when I first started this book again because I was away from the characters for so long. But I did. I found the spark I had from the beginning and I enjoyed the time I spent writing this book. Thank you all so much for pushing me and forcing me out—though some comments were harsh, I still appreciate them all haha.Now to my updating schedule.It’s been a mess, hasn’t it? I know there’s been too much gap between my updates and you might not believe me when I say this, but I hate missing frequent/daily updates just as much as y’all do. It makes me less disciplined and incompetent when I don’t write as much as I plan to and I especially hate disappoin
ELIZABETH.~A MONTH LATER.We stayed in San Francisco for a week and only left after Lily’s discharge. When we got back to Los Angeles, I could still tell everything that happened back there took a toll on James. Although he tried to hide it, tried to smile more; it was evident everything he learned from his parents had taken something from him and I was scared for a long time he’d never get that back.But he did… or at least he’s trying.His eyes are no longer as dull as they seemed when we first arrived, and I can see the spark in them. Each of the smiles he throws at me now is genuine and he spends less time trying to hide the pain he feels. He’s being himself again—he’s being my James, and he’s back to me.I haven’t felt as at ease as I did six nights ago when he woke me up in the middle of the night and just laid his head on my chest as he cried in my arms. He poured out his pain to me one last time and since then, he can speak about his mom without looking like it’s the last thin
ELIZABETH.James' brows crease at Gabriel’s words, and I squeeze my hand in his as my heart pounds in my chest."What? What are you talking about?" James asks and Gabriel shakes his head, a sad look in his eyes. "I’m sorry, son. She left.""What do you mean, she left?" James' voice raises higher and Gabriel swallows, "I was just—she was here when I arrived. She was asleep, and I just went to the reception to settle the bills and make some inquiries, but when I got back; she was gone. And your sister was crying. She said Zara left and said to not look for her."I feel my heart breaks in my chest for both of them and James' grip on my hand gets increasingly tighter till it starts to hurt but I don’t pull away. He remains silent and just stares at the man before us—who looks just as shaken by the revelation."I’m so sorry, I didn’t—""No." James voices out now and his tight grip starts to loosen. I hear him exhale before he says, "It’s good she left, and like you said; she doesn’t want t
JAMES."I thought you left," Elizabeth sighs in my arms, her grip around me growing tighter and I smile as I finally drop a hand on her back, pressing her closer to me. "And where would I go, love?"She pulls back by a bit so she can look into my eyes and her lips push out as she speaks. "I don’t know. I just thought—""Thought I’d run from you?" I finish for her and when she doesn’t respond, I lean down to take her lips. It’s meant to be just a soft reassuring peck, but Elizabeth moves her hands to my neck, deepening the kiss as her fingers play with the hair at the back of my head and I move a hand to her cheek, tilting her head back so I can plunge my tongue inside her mouth.She cups my neck with a palm, her fingers digging into the skin as she moans into the kiss and I move my free hand to the small of her back; I rest it on her ass as my tongue clashes against hers, heat spreading across my skin at the taste and feel of her.When I feel my pants tightening at the front, I start t
ELIZABETH.He doesn’t stop sobbing as he clings onto me as though he’s afraid he’d drift away if he doesn’t and with each loud cry that leaves his mouth, a piece of my heart breaks for him.I can feel the anguishing pain with each sound that leaves him, and his body shakes in my embrace. I let out a soft exhale as tears roll down my cheeks while I continue to slide a hand down his back, whispering soft promises I’ll do anything to keep. "You’ll be fine, baby. You’re alright. I’m here. I’m here with you."We stay in the position for what feels like long and after a while, his sobs quiet down, but he doesn’t move away from me, his breath hot on my neck and I swallow through the tightness of my throat. "I’m always here with you."The sound of our breathing echoes through the corners of the room and James starts to pull back. He removes his arms from around me but I keep the one hand on the back of his neck as I lift my gaze to stare at him. His eyes are red as he holds my gaze, and I giv
ELIZABETH.I run after him with my heart breaking for him, but he’s just too fast. He dashes through corners quickly before I can even catch up to him, but I don’t stop chasing after him, either.I know this must be too much for him, but I just want to be there for him. I want him to know someone hurts for him. But he doesn’t wait for me to do either of those things.When I rush out the entrance door and stop only a few steps away with my heart pounding in my chest and my eyes scanning the corners, I don’t see him.I don’t see James.The car is here, but he isn’t. He left. He ran without me.I push a hand through my hair before taking out my phone from the back pocket of the pants I have on—his pants. My pulse is racing as I press the phone to my ear after dialing his number, and it rings. It rings and my purse vibrates, reminding me that he left his phone with me on our way here.God, James. Please. Please, just be alright. Don’t do anything stupid and be fucking alright.Please.Drea
JAMES.Everything else shatters around me as I stare at her with disbelief coursing through my veins, wanting more than anything for her to take back those words—to tell me this is some kind of sick joke.She doesn’t.Instead, her tears fall even more as she proceeds to say, "I’m so sorry, Gabriel. I didn’t mean to—" a sob breaks out, and she shuts her eyes tightly. When she opens them again, they’re so red that it’s hard to act like she doesn’t know what she’s speaking about. She does. Oh God, she does."What are you saying, Zara?" Dad’s quiet voice comes, no doubt he’s as frightened as I am. "James is my son. He’s always been. He’s been from his birth, so why are you—""He isn’t." She insists, and I gulp down the bitterness that’s quickly rising in my throat. My hand shakes in hers and I quickly let go, fisting my hands in the fabric of my pants to try to stop the trembling. "I cheated. Years back. I was married to you, but I was in love with someone else.""Zara…""I’m sorry. I kno