Anxiety settles in me like a second skin.It's been two days since I spent time at my sister's fiancé's house, and it's already disrupting my entire day. I'm not in a good mood, and I really want to get out of my bubble—go somewhere—alone just to calm myself down.His influence reverberates within me insecurely. Sounds like a warning alarm in my head loudly. That is the most urgent thing that happened. I'm not the same anymore, and still determining if I want this.Because discovering that I was attracted to his darkness was a curse. And to find that I fell for his care and tenderness was a disaster.It shook me, and breaking down the walls that had been built up a long time ago because of the things he did yesterday made me draw one correct conclusion. I don't know what to do if he admits it, if he pushes me over the edge. I can only hold on to him because I know I can't help myself against him.I have to do something to keep busy. Otherwise, thoughts of that guy surface, sending a f
I stay still, my breath erratic, as Nicholas' hands slide down my waist, my hips, and the outside of my thighs. He caresses me slowly, respectfully, as if trying to remember my body's contours. Heat blooms beneath my skin, tighten against my breasts, and sears my way lower."You have a fiancé," I sighed."She's not what I want."Nicholas's possessive gaze watches me, almost daring me to stop him, as he slides my dress down to my thighs, exposing the lacy fabric between my legs. My body shivered in anticipation.He pressed two fingers to my lips. "Suck it."Oh, Lord.Whatever feelings I left behind drowned in a pool of lust.I didn't hesitate to drag his finger into my mouth. His gaze darkens as I scrape it with my teeth as he pulls it out. When he drops his hand under the cloth between my thighs and roughly pushes his fingers into me, a choking sound escapes me, and I grip his waist for a hold. The beginning of an orgasm is like a fire burning inside me.“You blushed for him,” he grow
"Aren't you going to get up?"I got out, squinting my eyes sharply at the large man who was still curled up comfortably in my bed even though I was so worried and anxious. What if my cousin found out that he was in my room? It will be another way of death.I don't want to put out the flames of conflict within my family and his family until whatever happened to us is over—until he lets me go. It would be easy because he didn't know how annoying the White Princess could be.He lay on his side, pulling the blanket over his neck. "No." His hoarse voice would have diverted all control within me if only I hadn't been caught in the haze of anxiety this morning.Yes, very clear. I sighed as I stepped towards the bed. It must have been neat with a long cream sweater and material pants. The snow indicated they would tolerate nothing today, and I had to wear thick clothes to work."Come on, Nicholas. What if someone finds out you're here? That would be a disaster.” I stood on the edge of the bed
This night, I was in the middle of another little party. This time it was Papa's seventieth birthday business colleague. I don't understand why these old people don't just spend some time in church instead of pouring their bodies into a pool full of champagne and young chick?Nicholas was heading to where my parents were when I was about to head over to where Gal was sitting with Elena. Our gazes were restrained. Time slowed down and brushed against my skin like a wave of heat, leaving me hot, confused, and out of breath. Music and all conversations seemed to disappear from my ears. This is where I usually have something wise to say to my sister's fiancé, but the truth is, I feel. . . Embarrassed?He made love to me in my room the night before. It was hot and fast and rough. Then, after that, he kissed me. He kissed me for so long my brain turned to mush, my feet turned to Jell-O, and my heart started to burn. And then he made me gasp and think about it for a ridiculous time before te
Cynical amusement mixed with a dose of bitterness creeps up my veins. If I never heard a stupid name like Nicholas de Sanctis, I would be a happy woman. I took the lift to the lobby and praised the people who made this luxurious building because this electric box brought me down quickly.I crossed my arms and headed down the sidewalk away from the hotel. The cold rain slides against my skin, sending chills down my spine. I should have picked up my coat at storage. Shit. Why can't I do anything right? Self-hatred churned in my stomach.I got into the taxi I found, and it quickly took me away from here. The tightness in my chest doesn't go away. I didn't cry. Instead, I leaned back in the seat and stared at the buildings with an empty mind until I got home.A distinctly dim atmosphere greeted me, and no one but a few bodyguards and maids were still doing their jobs at night. I walked limply to my room, didn't forget to lock it—no matter whether Mama would nag tomorrow or not—took off my
Dew dripped onto crystal glasses, and silverware gleamed in the bright winter sun. It's a chilly November afternoon, but the gentle breeze is the perfect distraction. Lights flickered around the slats covering the porch, and my mother's rose bushes were thriving. The chairs are soft, and the food is good, but having lunch with a group of strangers does little to comfort. However, the seventies ad sitting before me didn't share the same opinion."Anyway, the cop let me go and he didn't even take my cocaine—""Dianna." The word was a low warning from Nicholas' place at the table.She rolled her eyes and took a deep gulp of wine but didn't speak anymore. I wonder why Nicholas punished her and what their relationship is. Sibling? They did annoy each other, but I'm sure I've heard somewhere that Nicholas was the first of three children, Ficanzi being his only sister.Gianna's senior husband sitting beside her, did not say a word except for some strange laughter. I'm starting to think he's
I couldn't stop the shivers that rose up inside me after washing myself with icy cold water even though I had just eaten lunch and attended a small party in the middle of New York City's extreme winter.Something has to erase this memory. Today takes me back to a few years ago. That was the last day I saw someone else's blood splattered on my face. Hot water spilled from the faucet, tangling my hair against my face and shoulders. I imagined this was paint—red running down my body and swirling down the drain. If only guilt were so easy to shake off.I close my eyes.A scream. Cold barrel against my temples.One second, two seconds.BangMy eyes flew open.The shot is in my mind.I closed my eyes, swallowed heavily, and opened them to stare at the snow coming in the night. My breath seemed to be floating in my lungs, and I tried to balance it, using the breathing technique that everyone always does to calm myself down.There was a knock, and I stood from the edge of the bed to open it.
This morning I was neat in a black midi dress with long sleeves. It was Stefan De Sanctis' funeral, which, rather than grieving... a celebration would be more fitting.Not a single face was streaked with tears. His parents just showed up looking as relaxed as ever with funerals at the hands of their murderous family members or because Stefan de Sanctis was as annoying as Nicholas said he was until all that was seen was the faint pleasure on his family's faces.I sat beside Gallena, who looked even more beautiful and elegant. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail with a floral bow, adorable and a little quirky, a little thing that fits her personality. I leaned back in my chair, flanked by Gal and Elena, who had been solemnly observing the people in the church, saying absolutely nothing.Everyone here is very dangerous despite their respectful and polite looks, while my gaze fell on Pascha since this morning, he caught my attention because there was a punch mark on his jaw, and I al
Nicholas really took me away. It was a long trip because we were on a plane, and I only found out when the pilot told me where we were going."Spain?" I asked, looking at Nicholas sitting beside me with so much surprise.He nodded. "Put your seatbelt on, baby."I shook my head. "I don't want to go anywhere. I want to go back."Nicholas shook his head with a frown on his forehead. "I'm sure you'll regret it.""Then tell me where you're taking me!" my voice rose an octave.He only raised an eyebrow and let out a long sigh. "Gallena."My eyes widened."I'll take you to Gallena's place."My heart was beating so fast with emotion that I almost fell forward as the plane began to take off. He clucked, wrapping one arm around my waist. "Put your seatbelt on." He growled.I put it on quickly. Leaning against the seat as the plane began to take off. I turned to him with a twinkle in my heart. "Do you mean it?"Nicholas nodded."Is she in Barcelona?""She's in Ibiza, I think it's a safe place f
Flashback :The hollow emptiness going on inside me didn't fix anything. It was empty and frozen. I've had many losses, and I don't know what could break me more than this one. It consumed me more than any previous loss.My baby...I haven't even had a chance to see what my baby looked like before it left me.And...Why my baby?Why wasn't it just me who died?I huddled under the thick blanket that was not familiar to my nose. A hospital bed, pillow and blanket. Which was unfamiliar because I had never experienced a hospital stay. It was excruciating, and I didn't want to come back here again. But this was still better than Mikhaelovich's death house if I could choose. It was a good thing I'd been expelled, strange because the relief seeped through me like water in a dam that was never released.I stroked my stomach, something I always did these days, even though the pain seemed to split me in two.A click came from the door behind me. I didn't need to turn around to see who had just
Two Months Later Time seemed to fly by until the church doors finally opened wide, the warning of the bride's arrival making everyone look impatiently toward the entrance. I stared at the beautiful woman in a bone-white wedding dress with a high bust. After my challenging debate with her, I finally won. Of course, with a very effective tactic: making her unable to walk with our long sex and making her surrender. And I have absolutely no regrets. She was so beautiful, gorgeous, and fabulous. My heart swelled stupidly. Like the mellow atmosphere of those cheesy romance movies she always liked, but different from those stupid movies, I liked what I felt now. Enjoying everything in every part of her. I love her. Loved her so much that I thought I would kill myself when she was in pain. That agony was behind us, and I learned my lesson. We both did. Learned to be better and accept each other. My mom said it's love and doesn't always go smoothly. All we can do is stay together and go
I looked at Gretta, who was lying on the bed.In a quiet corner of the room, the serene atmosphere inside the hospital room was only interrupted by the regular hissing of breath from the bedridden Gretta. Her face reflected profound exhaustion and sadness as if a disaster had rolled over her like an endless storm. I sat beside her with a blank look. The miscarriage had robbed us both of the glimmer of happiness they had just begun to achieve.Everything that surrounded us was messing her up, messing me up. Us.The pain split me in two. Realizing what we had lost, the cause of my own carelessness. If only I hadn't come and thrown a bomb at her, if only I hadn't brought her to my apartment, if only I hadn't abandoned her.. that fetus would still be between us. That baby.. whether a boy or a girl, would have been a testament to our feelings. I loved her, damn it. I loved her so much that jealousy about her leaving me ruled me more than my trust in her. I should have known better than
My heartbeats shattered one by one, making my chest ache.My vision blurred behind the tears and the glare of the sun on the marble floor. Once the crying started, my tears flowed like I had just opened a dam that had been closed for years. I stood in the middle of a beautiful apartment and felt nothing but cold and empty. The emptiness expanded until it threatened to eat me alive.How accurate was my belief that Nico was an addiction because this felt like the worst kind? I began to realize that it was more than that-it was love and it was heartbreak.I went to the master bathroom, turned on the shower, went inside, and cried some more. My mind was spinning with desperate thoughts of how to fix it, but it all ended on a desperate note when I thought of her cold demeanor today.Nausea rolled around in my stomach.I've been trying not to fall for him, and I've fallen so hard that I'm physically sick from his rejection. I could have laughed if I still had the energy left to cry.I got o
"What are you going to do?" Baron's hoarse voice came into my ears."Keep it." I took a breath and let it out softly. Calming the chaos inside me. "I will tell Nicholas about this, but I will wait for the right time.""If he doesn't accept it..." Baron stroked my arm. " ... you know I will always be here for you, right?"I nodded, hugging Baron tightly."He's crazy about you, Gretta. I know that. He'll accept it. He won't dump you or do anything bad to you." He said as we broke the hug. "Everyone can see it. He's just too stupid to admit his feelings."Well, I hope that's true. I nodded. "I'm waiting for him." I looked down at the bracelet on my right hand, which I never took off. "I have to do something first to give my heart to him, Baron."Because I will never let go of the past if I don't let go of it myself."Are you sure that you've disappeared from his shadow?" asked Baron.I nodded. "I'm sure," I replied. My whole heart had flown away, and I was about to move back into my froz
I saw the news and couldn't imagine what was going on in my family. I was sure my parents were cursing me and Gallena, planning what would happen to their two rebellious daughters.I was the one who ran away from my fiancé's house and was with my affair. While Gallena ran away from home pregnant. They thought we should return the favor about all that they had given us, the luxuries and stuff, the limited freedom, and the damn convenience of staying in our rooms. Ironically, that's not the same as what most parents give their kids.So, now, what do I do? Do I stay here and hassle Nicholas until I can stand on my own, which... I don't know when that will be? Because I can't possibly depend on him entirely.What are we? We were nothing other than me having sold my body for my own gain and falling in love with him while he didn't love me back. I sighed.Or could I go back to my parents' house-because it had never been my home-take my things, and then go to Baron's place? They couldn't d
My control was hanging by a thread as I listened to my men. Lorenzo also seemed intent on easing our uncle's burden.Uncle Benito and Gerald seemed to be quarreling secretly, but I was sure they were planning to overthrow me behind closed doors. Benito is a coward, and Gerald is only slightly better, but eventually, they will act. Perhaps Gerald would send his remaining legitimate son to kill me."War is inevitable," I growled. "You know that as well as I do. Don't pretend you haven't been waiting for an opportunity to spill Outfit blood again." My Underbosses nodded, and so did most of my Captains. But not Benito and Gerald.My eyes were fixed on the high ceiling of the power plant. I had chosen it at every meeting of my Captains and Underbosses over the past three years to remind them of my bloody declaration. I felt their memories needed to be refreshed.Gerald banged his fist on the table, returned my gaze to him, and swatted away Uncle Torre's calming hand. "Enough," he muttered.
Being stuck with Nicholas felt different from being stuck with Louis. I realized this a long time ago.I couldn't even spend five seconds next to Louis; a strange and uncomfortable feeling always surrounded me when I was with him, even before he was forced to become my fiancé or before I knew all his secrets.But now, when I was with Nicholas, I had a different, disturbing feeling. It was as if all the storms were coming together, and I wanted nothing more than to be with him as long as possible, even though I knew he was in darkness and danger. His name is a disaster; you must escape him if you do not want to be destroyed.But here I am, and so is he. Instead of a disaster, he became one of the people who saved me from the real disaster. He's the one by my side, caring for me more than everyone who should do it for me. For the first time, I know what it feels like to be truly loved, although I don't know if he feels the same way about me.I found him in the kitchen after I'd had enou