Since then, I have not stopped squeezing my fingers. Anxiety came like a tsunami that hit my body on the beach.I couldn't find peace in the twelve-hour drive from London, England to Venetto, Italy. I don't know what he is doing or what will happen if one of his family sees me; I don't know how to face them. Should I pretend to be Gallena? But Nicholas didn't suggest that at all. His face remained relaxed and showed a cheerfulness I never expected to come from him.What's really going on in his head?I sit up, just got out of bed, and can only do it in two hours. That, too, must be helped by him; he hugged me like we were real lovers who go on a trip to introduce his girlfriend to his family. Pretty romantic, right? But we're not on that page at all. This forbidden story is always the dark side of the romantic story itself. Something that will never turn into something good.The open brown door distracted me from the clouds in the window. Nicholas entered, already wearing a long black
The atmosphere that surrounded me was so different, I had never felt this kind of warmth, the joy that emanated even though there were only four of us sitting and eating lunch together.Laughter always comes out here, from how they tell about Nicholas' childhood with his brothers, Nicholas' mischief, and about the ridiculous moments that happened to their grandson. It warmed me and surprised me, I don't know what made Nicholas so different. What I see now was never shown to me before. He never laughs out loud, smiles and is mischievous when our family gathers, what he shows is only his dark side that is vicious and cruel. Watching like a wild animal. But now, everything is different. But the darkness that enveloped him was still there, only that it felt warm and comforting.I looked at him who was joking with his grandfather with my smile, and if I hadn't gotten to this point, I would still have thought that Nicholas was a cold-blooded man. The next thing I'm curious about is what did
My smile was bitter while Nicholas' grandmother smiled at me gently. Warmth enveloped her eyes, and I couldn't even tell what was on her mind. I'm sure that she's really stuck with her own fantasy because I'm sure that she knows her granddaughter very well. Her hopes for her grandson were firm, while everyone was convinced that Nicholas absolutely couldn't end up with anyone. Well, maybe he could. But not in the way his grandmother would have liked. Nicholas' happiness was different from what his grandmother wanted. Nicholas was happy enough to take other people's lives and stand above them.I looked at Daniella. Everything about her said she was a romantic. Always hold on to hope in love; there will be good in a person, no matter if that person is the meanest. I can't judge or say it's stupid. Some people have different views than me, so I can't comment. I just nodded in response to her words."Nico.. he has a few things that sometimes make him a different person. Not warm and so col
We did everything.Nicholas took me to some of the Dolomites sights. I wanted to visit lake sorapis, and swim there, but the lake is frozen. I can only walk on it and stare at the water view in amazement. Not only that, the atmosphere of the mountains covered in snow, like a winter landscape in a fairy tale. The view of Lake Braies is also very stunning, even though it's winter like Sorapis, the surface of the lake is not covered by ice, so you can see the ripples of the clear lake water. I don't feel like going away.Nicholas offered to go skiing with him, and I declined. I'm afraid of skiing, I always cringe when I see people do that. Luckily he didn't force me, just shot me a mocking glare before he slid across the ice. I just sat on the snow and watched him slide down with a face of horror. Totally crazy, in my opinion.He returned fifteen minutes later, out of breath and with snow all over his face. I laugh at the snow that shadows his wispy beard, he looks like a hot version of
Pain is still felt in my cheek when I chew my dinner in the room. I didn't go out because Gallena said I didn't need to be there, our parents are back in Moscow and I'm sure they won't be coming any time soon.So here I am, trying to eat my dinner without missing the occasional pang. Damn Pascha, he really has big and rough hands; I don't know what happened to the women he was with. Whoever it was... she would rather kill herself than confront Pascha.Not that I don't know; he often does that to some of the women he's been on short dates with. A woman once appeared with him at our parent's wedding anniversary, and the scars on her face failed to cover up with make-up, and Elena told me that's what Pascha always does to his women. That's why no more women come to their knees in front of him because they are smart enough not to fall victim to Pascha anymore.Psychopath.He is worse than Nicholas.Because from what I know, my future brother-in-law never beats women just to demonstrate hi
There are some relatives you don't like—which you might shoot your own way if given the chance. But being forced in… rubs me the wrong way, like a horsewhip. My jaw tightened as poison coursed through my veins.Papa loved to kick me in the ribs when I acted without thinking. My mom usually chose to cry and treat any bruises, ending up not talking to her husband until he and I made up. With my ribs burning and a cigarette in my hand, there's no denying that the apple really didn't fall that far from the tree. And I suspect that those who know Darius de Sanctis—even my own family—would hesitate to regard that as a disadvantage.I am the mold my father and Cosa Nostra made and the world upon it. As bad as a combo of a barrel of gunpowder and a bit of flame. But my father always acted firm and not gentle but lived in love in his own way, while my mother played her role so lovingly. My two siblings and I never lack love because they bestow us with so much.But on the other hand, my father
I had expected all this before. Papa was so fond of Louis Jamesson. Of course, something about his family was the only thing that interested him.What could he do if he had two of the world's most potent conglomerates? Everything, of course. Honor and all that power would come to him without his asking, and that... makes me sick.Although Louis is a good man and fulfills the material husband package for women, I don't want to imagine how my life would be with him. It would be filled with control by my parents. Unlike Nicholas, he was the one who was always in control and never let it get out of him.My father was in his grasp, and Louis? He was too good for that; everything about him was for the pleasure of others, not for himself. That was the last thing I wanted and needed. Whereas I used to think that he would be one of the good guys who would get me out of my family or be someone who could ease my pressure, that doesn't mean anything now that I know him so well.Well, now I don't
Someone's eyes stared back at me blankly. Blood pooled on the floor, and I sat down with tears in my eyes.But he blinked.My crying stopped.He gripped my hand firmly.I screamed."Shit, Gretta." That rough yet gentle voice greeted me. "Wake up, wake up."I came to my senses.My breath was coming in gasps, and the pain radiating in my chest spread to my head. I rubbed my face roughly as if it could do anything, but it didn't. Someone helped me sit up, and without turning my head, I immediately hugged him.My ear was on top of his chest, his fast-beating heart sending a rush of calmness into me. He held me, gently stroking my bare back and placing sweet kisses on my head."Who hurt you, Cara Mia?" Nicholas growled low and absolute. Possessive and promising danger for whoever had hurt me. I didn't know what I meant to him, but I knew that he wouldn't miss anyone who hurt his toys. That thought snapped me back to reality.I pushed away from his embrace and took a breath. Once and twice
Nicholas really took me away. It was a long trip because we were on a plane, and I only found out when the pilot told me where we were going."Spain?" I asked, looking at Nicholas sitting beside me with so much surprise.He nodded. "Put your seatbelt on, baby."I shook my head. "I don't want to go anywhere. I want to go back."Nicholas shook his head with a frown on his forehead. "I'm sure you'll regret it.""Then tell me where you're taking me!" my voice rose an octave.He only raised an eyebrow and let out a long sigh. "Gallena."My eyes widened."I'll take you to Gallena's place."My heart was beating so fast with emotion that I almost fell forward as the plane began to take off. He clucked, wrapping one arm around my waist. "Put your seatbelt on." He growled.I put it on quickly. Leaning against the seat as the plane began to take off. I turned to him with a twinkle in my heart. "Do you mean it?"Nicholas nodded."Is she in Barcelona?""She's in Ibiza, I think it's a safe place f
Flashback :The hollow emptiness going on inside me didn't fix anything. It was empty and frozen. I've had many losses, and I don't know what could break me more than this one. It consumed me more than any previous loss.My baby...I haven't even had a chance to see what my baby looked like before it left me.And...Why my baby?Why wasn't it just me who died?I huddled under the thick blanket that was not familiar to my nose. A hospital bed, pillow and blanket. Which was unfamiliar because I had never experienced a hospital stay. It was excruciating, and I didn't want to come back here again. But this was still better than Mikhaelovich's death house if I could choose. It was a good thing I'd been expelled, strange because the relief seeped through me like water in a dam that was never released.I stroked my stomach, something I always did these days, even though the pain seemed to split me in two.A click came from the door behind me. I didn't need to turn around to see who had just
Two Months Later Time seemed to fly by until the church doors finally opened wide, the warning of the bride's arrival making everyone look impatiently toward the entrance. I stared at the beautiful woman in a bone-white wedding dress with a high bust. After my challenging debate with her, I finally won. Of course, with a very effective tactic: making her unable to walk with our long sex and making her surrender. And I have absolutely no regrets. She was so beautiful, gorgeous, and fabulous. My heart swelled stupidly. Like the mellow atmosphere of those cheesy romance movies she always liked, but different from those stupid movies, I liked what I felt now. Enjoying everything in every part of her. I love her. Loved her so much that I thought I would kill myself when she was in pain. That agony was behind us, and I learned my lesson. We both did. Learned to be better and accept each other. My mom said it's love and doesn't always go smoothly. All we can do is stay together and go
I looked at Gretta, who was lying on the bed.In a quiet corner of the room, the serene atmosphere inside the hospital room was only interrupted by the regular hissing of breath from the bedridden Gretta. Her face reflected profound exhaustion and sadness as if a disaster had rolled over her like an endless storm. I sat beside her with a blank look. The miscarriage had robbed us both of the glimmer of happiness they had just begun to achieve.Everything that surrounded us was messing her up, messing me up. Us.The pain split me in two. Realizing what we had lost, the cause of my own carelessness. If only I hadn't come and thrown a bomb at her, if only I hadn't brought her to my apartment, if only I hadn't abandoned her.. that fetus would still be between us. That baby.. whether a boy or a girl, would have been a testament to our feelings. I loved her, damn it. I loved her so much that jealousy about her leaving me ruled me more than my trust in her. I should have known better than
My heartbeats shattered one by one, making my chest ache.My vision blurred behind the tears and the glare of the sun on the marble floor. Once the crying started, my tears flowed like I had just opened a dam that had been closed for years. I stood in the middle of a beautiful apartment and felt nothing but cold and empty. The emptiness expanded until it threatened to eat me alive.How accurate was my belief that Nico was an addiction because this felt like the worst kind? I began to realize that it was more than that-it was love and it was heartbreak.I went to the master bathroom, turned on the shower, went inside, and cried some more. My mind was spinning with desperate thoughts of how to fix it, but it all ended on a desperate note when I thought of her cold demeanor today.Nausea rolled around in my stomach.I've been trying not to fall for him, and I've fallen so hard that I'm physically sick from his rejection. I could have laughed if I still had the energy left to cry.I got o
"What are you going to do?" Baron's hoarse voice came into my ears."Keep it." I took a breath and let it out softly. Calming the chaos inside me. "I will tell Nicholas about this, but I will wait for the right time.""If he doesn't accept it..." Baron stroked my arm. " ... you know I will always be here for you, right?"I nodded, hugging Baron tightly."He's crazy about you, Gretta. I know that. He'll accept it. He won't dump you or do anything bad to you." He said as we broke the hug. "Everyone can see it. He's just too stupid to admit his feelings."Well, I hope that's true. I nodded. "I'm waiting for him." I looked down at the bracelet on my right hand, which I never took off. "I have to do something first to give my heart to him, Baron."Because I will never let go of the past if I don't let go of it myself."Are you sure that you've disappeared from his shadow?" asked Baron.I nodded. "I'm sure," I replied. My whole heart had flown away, and I was about to move back into my froz
I saw the news and couldn't imagine what was going on in my family. I was sure my parents were cursing me and Gallena, planning what would happen to their two rebellious daughters.I was the one who ran away from my fiancé's house and was with my affair. While Gallena ran away from home pregnant. They thought we should return the favor about all that they had given us, the luxuries and stuff, the limited freedom, and the damn convenience of staying in our rooms. Ironically, that's not the same as what most parents give their kids.So, now, what do I do? Do I stay here and hassle Nicholas until I can stand on my own, which... I don't know when that will be? Because I can't possibly depend on him entirely.What are we? We were nothing other than me having sold my body for my own gain and falling in love with him while he didn't love me back. I sighed.Or could I go back to my parents' house-because it had never been my home-take my things, and then go to Baron's place? They couldn't d
My control was hanging by a thread as I listened to my men. Lorenzo also seemed intent on easing our uncle's burden.Uncle Benito and Gerald seemed to be quarreling secretly, but I was sure they were planning to overthrow me behind closed doors. Benito is a coward, and Gerald is only slightly better, but eventually, they will act. Perhaps Gerald would send his remaining legitimate son to kill me."War is inevitable," I growled. "You know that as well as I do. Don't pretend you haven't been waiting for an opportunity to spill Outfit blood again." My Underbosses nodded, and so did most of my Captains. But not Benito and Gerald.My eyes were fixed on the high ceiling of the power plant. I had chosen it at every meeting of my Captains and Underbosses over the past three years to remind them of my bloody declaration. I felt their memories needed to be refreshed.Gerald banged his fist on the table, returned my gaze to him, and swatted away Uncle Torre's calming hand. "Enough," he muttered.
Being stuck with Nicholas felt different from being stuck with Louis. I realized this a long time ago.I couldn't even spend five seconds next to Louis; a strange and uncomfortable feeling always surrounded me when I was with him, even before he was forced to become my fiancé or before I knew all his secrets.But now, when I was with Nicholas, I had a different, disturbing feeling. It was as if all the storms were coming together, and I wanted nothing more than to be with him as long as possible, even though I knew he was in darkness and danger. His name is a disaster; you must escape him if you do not want to be destroyed.But here I am, and so is he. Instead of a disaster, he became one of the people who saved me from the real disaster. He's the one by my side, caring for me more than everyone who should do it for me. For the first time, I know what it feels like to be truly loved, although I don't know if he feels the same way about me.I found him in the kitchen after I'd had enou