6: Hatred

Sebastian prays for his life as Killian navigates through the way, swaying the bicycle left and right. He tries to steady himself on the bicycle but it seems impossible because Killian keeps changing his direction. They are lucky that they aren't on the highway and there are only a few cars passing by right now. Perks of living in a small town.

"Can I drive please? I don't want to die so soon." Sebastian pleads to Killian who has all of his attention on the road.

"We are gonna crash!" Sebastian complains, holding Killian with one hand while his other hand is on the bicycle.

"Shut up. We are fine." Killian scolds before bringing his attention back to the road.

"You are a horrible driver. If things go South in life, never think about becoming a driver." Sebastian sincerely suggests being on the edge of life right now.

"Where do I go now? Left or right?" Killian asks instead, completely ignoring Sebastian's concerned suggestion.

"Left!" Sebastian gritts out as Killian has started riding more recklessly.

"Do you love speed, Kitty?" Though Sebastian can't see Killian's face, he is damn sure that boy is smirking right now.

"Don't you think about it. This bike is older than your grandma-" He doesn't get to complete it as Killian takes off at the speed of lightning.

Sebastian screams all while grabbing Killian's jacket for dear life. He won't be surprised if he leaves a bruise or two on his waist but again he can't be blamed. Sebastian is what you can call uptight. He loves to go by the rules. He belongs to that group of people who will freak out if you go even a little over the speed limit.

It's already enough that Killian isn't wearing a helmet. Sebastian felt uneasy letting him ride without a helmet. To make him feel at peace, Killian took a shopping bag from the shop next door and put it over his head. Sebastian wanted to take the bag and shove it up his brain as his brain appeared hollow. As if all of these things weren't enough already. This boy will take a breath of relief only after having him undergo a cardiac arrest.

"Slow the fuck down, you toesucking nail biting drunkard spong!" Killian laughs so loudly that it won't come off as a surprise if people around here file a noise complaint.

"You sure have a way with your words, Kitty." Killian says, enjoying the whole thing a little too much.

"You idiot, I feel more sick than before." Sebastian chides, feeling a little relief when Killian decreases the speed a little.

Usually, he won't feel agitated to this point as a bicycle can't go that fast but he is too tired to deal with Killian's shit right now. He knows he is exaggerating but Killian isn't helping his case.

"I think I'm gonna puke." Sebastian announces, successfully gaining Killian's attention this time.

"Don't you dare." Killian warns, decreasing the speed even more.

"Well, who's fault is it? When I called you Barbie, I didn't know you would be really as brainless as a doll. Who rides a bicycle at the speed of freaking light with someone who is feeling sick?" Sebastian grits out, feeling the urge to pull Killian's hair out of his skull.

"Fine. I'm sorry. I will go as slow as a turtle now." Killian promises.

"You are infuriating." Killian laughs at that.

"You can hold my waist if you want." Killian offers, thinking Sebastian must be feeling too tired to hold on to the bike right now.

"I went through the storm just fine. Thanks for the offer though." Sebastian says politely though there is a sarcastic undertone to it.

"Whatever suits you." With that being said, he increases the speed, causing Sebastian to hold his waist for real.

"You really want me to puke on you it seems!" Sebastian warns, holding Killian's waist tightly.

"No, please. Don't be a bad kitty. I'm sorry." Killian panics before slowing the speed once again.

The rest of the way blurs with them bickering every now and then while Sebastian gives direction towards his address. Usually, it takes him 30 minutes or more to reach his home but today it took him only 15 minutes owing to the idiot who thinks a bicycle can run like a motorcycle.

"I'm never riding with you again." Sebastian promises to himself as soon as Killian stops the bicycle.

"You are welcome. Anyway, can I take my helmet off now?" Killian jokes, touching the bag which is secured on his head.

"Go and put your empty brain in the bag." Sebastian suggests, glaring at the boy who just laughs.

"You do really look like a kitty when you are angry." Killian points out, refusing to acknowledge Sebastian's insult.

"Just go home, Barbie." Sebastian mutters under his breath, taking the bicycle from Killian.

Killian looks around and stops at Sebastian's house.

"Your house looks welcoming. A cup of hot chocolate sounds tempting." Killian shamelessly attempts to invite himself inside the house.

Sebastian goes stiff at the mention of it. He totally forgot he is in front of his house now. He doesn't want anyone from his family to see him with Killian. They will make a mountain out of a mole. If things were normal, he himself would invite Killian in for helping him today, no matter how annoying he is.

"Yeah? Well, you aren't invited." Sebastian hopes he doesn't come off as rude.

"Awww, it sucks to be me. I can't visit the 70th wonder of the world." Killian makes a fake sad face, pouting his lips.

"What are you even talking about?" Sebastian asks, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion.

"In case you wonder what 69th wonder of the world is, it's you." Sebastian rolls his eyes.

"Please, I'm tired." Sebastian pleads, getting sick of Killian's bad jokes.

He should be concerned that a guy who has a girlfriend is trying to flirt with him but he knows better. Killian seems to be a guy who likes to joke around. Well, it's another matter that his jokes suck.

"Fine. Take care, kitty." Killian says, waving his hand.

"You too, Barbie. Go home safely." Sebastian says while smiling, wheeling the bicycle inside the house.

Sebastian shakes his head and smiles to himself. He missed having people around him. He missed human interaction. He knows he shouldn't let someone in his life anymore but Killian makes it hard. Why is he so sweet to him? Last time someone was sweet to him, he was the one who had to pay a big price for that. He shudders thinking about the past. He decides to put this topic at the corner of his brain and focus on a more important thing; sleep.

His smile drops as soon as he comes inside and sees his little brother in the doorway. There were golden days when he and his brother shared everything. sorrows, happiness or anything, you name it. Those days are only in the past now. What remains now is hatred. The only thing they share now is a house. A house where everyone seems to despise his presence.

He remembers the last time he met his brother before his brother went to his boarding school. The door was slammed on his face. But what happened before that hurt more. His words hurt more.

"Matt." Sebastian breathes out, "How are you? When did you come home?" He tries to initiate a conversation, a pained smile displayed on his face.

His brother remains silent but his eyes speak more than his mouth could. Sebastian can see the accusatory glare but he doesn't know why it's there. Sebastian feels like he is thrown into the pit of an activated lava, the intense hatred in his brother's eyes makes him feel that way.

"You won't ever have any shame, will you?" Matthew asks, abhorrence dripping from his tone which Pierces through Sebastian's heart.

He doesn't know the reason behind the raw hatred in his little brother's eyes for him. He really wished his hatred wouldn't last long. Matthew could never hold grudges for long. So, why is he being this way now?

"What are you talking about, Matt?" He finds himself asking, voice dropping to a whisper.

Matthew scoffs, looking into Sebastian's eyes. In this scenario, he looks like the older one. Though the age difference between them is only a year, Matthew has always looked like the older one thanks to his height and his genes that he got from their father. Sebastian looks more like their mother.

"Why were you late today?" Matthew asks instead.

Sebastian would be happier if this question was out of concern. But it's not. Matthew is accusing him of something. Something that he didn't do.

"Why do you feel like you can question me like I'm a suspect?" Sebastian questions back with the same authority as his brother.

He is done letting people walk all over him like he is nothing but dust under their shoes. He doesn't need validation from them anymore. He tells himself that. No matter how much it hurts knowing he has lost the brother in Matthew, he needs to stand up for himself.

"How long are you gonna run away from your mistakes?" Matthew accuses, taking a step closer to his brother in anger.

"If you want to know something then ask me directly. Stop talking in riddles." Sebastian replies, walking towards the dining table to grab a glass of water.

He is glad his parents are either sleeping or are too busy to witness this little encounter with his brother. They will, without any doubt, add fuel to the fire like always. He isn't ready to take all the burns right now.

But before he can go, Matthew grabs his hand a little bit tightly.

"What are you doing?" Sebastian winces, trying to pry his hand from his own.

"I saw you with the boy." Matthew deadpans.

It takes Sebastian a few seconds to comprehend that Matthew is talking about Killian. He knew he shouldn't have talked to Killian in front of his house.

"Congratulations! You have X-ray vision!" Sebastian mocks and watches the fire of hatred glow in his brother's eyes.

"You are gonna fuck him up too?" Sebastian stops struggling to free his hand and stares at his brother in shock.

"Matthew! Mind your tongue." Sebastian warns, finally getting free of his hold.

"You are a disgrace to the family, Seb. I don't understand how you are still alive after doing so many fucked up things. If I were you, I would drink poison and kill myself!" Matthew spats, his voice is louder than before.

Tears well in the corner of his eyes and are threatening to spill anytime. How can he be insensitive like this?

"I hate you!" Matthew says before going away, breaking Sebastian's heart into a thousand pieces.

He falls to the ground as soon as Matthew leaves the room in pure rage. He knows Matthew would hit him if he weren't his brother, he saw it in his eyes. He hates him so much. But words hurt more. It always does. He silently sobs at his misfortune.

There isn't a soul who is willing to believe him. Why? They have known him all their lives. He has been nothing but a perfect son, perfect brother. His tearful eyes dart towards the showcase placed beside the dining table. The showcase still has the medals and trophies that he earned in different competitions. It hurts knowing his medals have more value in this house than him. Those materialistic things are wanted but he isn't.

He cries knowing no one is gonna believe him. Deep down they know the truth. They just can't handle it.

Tears fall freely as vivid recollections of happy moments with his brother populate his mind. It's harder to get through sorrow when you know what happiness tastes like but it's the hardest when you know you will always be on the threshold of hatred and there's no happiness waiting for you. It's always winter here. He sees no sign of the spring.

After what feels like an hour, Sebastian picks himself up. He has heard these words one too many times. It shouldn't faze him, it shouldn't hurt him. Oh, but it does!

He walks upstairs to his room as tears keep falling freely. Matthew's words keep circling around his head, intensifying his dizziness and weakness. He feels his knees shaking but he goes on with his walk. Only after he throws his body on the bed, does he break down totally. His sobs have turned loud now, so loud that he is afraid someone might hear him. But he can't hold it back.

Sometimes he thinks if he really should take his life like everyone tells him too. It will make everyone happy, won't it? However, he is selfish. He won't work for others' happiness anymore. If his presence bothers anyone then so be it.

There goes another night without sleep, food and his peace of mind. He stares at nothingness as his mind wanders around places where he finds nothing but abhorrence for himself.

He is about to close his tired eyes when his phone starts beeping. Someone seems to text him continuously which makes him confused. He doesn't have any friends. Why would anyone send him texts? To answer his question, he fishes his phone out of his pocket.

Unknown

I've reached home, kitty :)

Unknown

I hitched a ride from someone. Being a Barbie does wonders, doesn't it?

Sebastian laughs seeing a list of nonsense from Killian. At this point he doesn't even wonder how Killian got his number but he is happy. Happy to know someone is here. He isn't alone. But will Killian remain the same if he learns about his past? Or will he hate him like everyone else?