4. We weren't meant to be

Asher’s POV

As a wolf, the luxury of choosing one’s mate is nonexistent. In many respects, everything is predetermined, including the course of your life and the partner you will be bound to. However, whether you embrace that connection or opt for your chosen one remains within your realm of control. Yet, this autonomy comes at a significant cost, one whose gravity had eluded me until now.

After the party, Leslie decided to stay the night at mine to keep my mind off things. However, I suspected that she would be the one to benefit from it rather than me, as unlike her, I did not fear losing my partner. Since Leslie learned she wasn’t my mate, her hold on me got stronger. She was reluctant to leave my side for fear of losing me to someone else. Someone like Kiara. She had to be a mate out of all the people in the world.

Honestly, I never had any personal problems with her. She was a harmless person and never did anything to anyone for her to deserve the wrath she’s been subjected to by our pack for all these years. However, for no fault of hers, she was still a traitor’s daughter. At the peak of the war, her father, the Beta of the pack back then, had turned his back on his people and succumbed to cowardice.

If one trait truly distinguished us wolves from humans, it was our innate lack of fear. We were creatures unburdened by trepidation. I vividly recall my father’s words, echoing in my mind, as he taught me the invaluable lesson that even in the face of imminent peril when teetering on the edge of survival, it was crucial not to reveal fear to our adversaries. Denying them the satisfaction of witnessing fear in our eyes was a triumph in its own right.

For us, giving up warrants a bigger defeat than losing the war. It had always been a shame for our pack to accept that our wolf had betrayed us when we needed him the most. And for me to be associated with his name? I’d rather accept death.

I couldn’t marry a woman whose father was a traitor. She had his blood. I did not want to have to do anything with her. Although it was one of the most difficult things I had done, I knew I was right in rejecting her. If my father were to come to know of it, he would also support my decision. Ultimately, I was expected to carry his legacy and become the pack’s Alpha once he stepped down. He wouldn’t appreciate having a fugitive’s daughter as the future Luna.

Even if I were to agree to be with her, would my pack accept her as the Luna? Although not immediately, she would one day have to ascend to the role of great responsibility and leadership. When I’m away at war, she should be able to know what’s right for the pack and make decisions. Kiara is not the kind of person the pack would listen to. It would be tough enough to get people to respect her.

The more I thought about it, the more reasons I found to support my decision to reject Kiara. Every sensible part of my body was with me on my decision, then why was my heart not accepting it? I have a beautiful woman lying beside me in the bed, but I can’t hold her and bring her closer to my body. I no longer wanted to protect and cherish her as I previously did.

Heck! Merely hours ago, as I held her naked body in my arms, I couldn’t bear to meet her gaze. I felt like a betrayer, like I was deceiving myself by being with her. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t drown out the resounding voice in my mind insisting that we weren’t meant to be. She wasn’t mine to possess, and I wasn’t meant to be hers. Deep down, she and I knew we weren’t meant for each other. Kiara and I were.

****

I reluctantly pulled up in our school’s parking lot the next morning. After learning about Tyler’s distaste for my decision, I was not looking forward to knowing what the rest of the school was thinking about me. I wouldn’t typically care about what others thought of me if I wasn’t in line to become the Alpha. Regardless of my personal preferences, I needed to garner support from others. As my father had emphasized, it was the fundamental rule of leadership: to have unwavering backing from one’s followers. A pack could not endure disloyal members or unreliable leadership.

It would be a waste of a sacrifice if my pack weren’t happy with my decision. It would have been counter-intuitive as I had essentially rejected Kiara for them.  

Kiara.

There you go again.

Since last night, I just couldn’t get my mind off her and every thought I had eventually led up to her. Why was I acting like this? Is this guilt? Or is it something more?

Sighing, I exited the car and started walking toward the school building. As I reached the corridor, I stopped in my tracks at once. Shuffling through her books, Kiara stood in front of the locker. Her brown hair was coming in the way of my vision, impairing me from looking at her face. She must have sensed my eyes on her as she slowly moved her head to acknowledge me.

She appeared devoid of life, her eyes bearing a dark circle and a hint of puffiness. Her lips, parched and trembling, reacted to my presence, eliciting fresh tears. Swiftly regaining composure, she averted her gaze and used a hand to brush away the evidence of her sorrow. Witnessing her in such a state was unbearable for me.

I couldn’t fathom why I couldn’t simply walk away, as if the blame rested solely on my shoulders. But deep down, I knew it was entirely my fault. I had robbed her of the opportunity to be with the mate she was destined to have. It was unthinkable to let her suffer the consequences of a decision she had no control over.

Sighing, I started to make my way toward her. However, I felt someone hug me from behind as I almost reached her.

“Hiya, Babe!” I heard Leslie’s voice near my ear. She let go of her hold on me and turned me around so I could face her.

“Hi, darling,” I said and met her kiss halfway.

“Thank you so much for last night, Babe. It was just what I needed,” she said. “My parents are going to be out of town this weekend. Maybe you can come for a sleepover, and we can repeat what happened last night?”

I could see Leslie deliberately bringing up us being together last night so that Kiara could hear us. I did not appreciate her trying to hurt her all over again, but there was little I could do. After all, I chose to remain with Leslie.

 “Of course,” I said with a smile. “I can’t wait to be with you again.”

Leslie beamed at my support in her decision to torment Kiara. Stretching up on her toes, she pulled me in for another kiss before saying, “Alright, we’re getting late for class. Shall we go?”  

“Yeah,” I said, walking with my arm around her waist.

 Although I was tempted to look back at Kiara, I didn’t.