I remember when I was eight and wanted to get some sweets from the shop. I didn't have cash and I refused when my dad asked me to do something for him.. in results, he refused to give me 50c so I can go buy myself some sweets. I was so hurt and wanted them so bad. I stupidly went to his wallet and got 20c.. when I turned around he was there looking at me.... the same look...
Sleep last night? I got non because my thoughts were up all night. My father's face and how she looked at me. I'd see it all the fucken time I closed my eyes. It hurt so so much because it made me feel so small... like that little baby who stole 20c from him.
I slowly dragged myself up when I heard his shower goes off. He was going to work so I needed to fix him breakfast and a lunchbox.
I washed my face, brushed my teeth and then went to the kitchen. I put his lunchbox next to his breakfast with am apple.
I went back
I couldn't believe she just fucken asked me that and left.. I quickly ran after her and pulled her before she could disappear at a nearby corner."Don't touch me?" She pushed my hand off her."Layla what the fuck?" I said, "what the hell is wrong with you?""What the hell is wrong with me? Dude I'm not the one who's sleeping with the teacher's assistant.. the fuck is wrong with you?"That cut deep because it showed how little she thought of me... She thought I just sleep with people randomly like she does... I slowly shook my head. I didn't want for her to find out like this about my dad but she was being such an ass it was pissing me off."Layla... my father found out that I'm gay.. he can't even talk to me, let alone look at me... did you fucken see the post online and what people are saying about me because someone decided to out me to the whole fucken world? Or are you just so fucken se
I stared blankly at Chris and he smiled nervously, "I just came out to you and we are still standing by your gate.""Shit.. sorry I'm shocked.. come in.. but not for long.. my dad.." I said opening the gate wider for him to walk in and he did."I'm sorry for just coming at this time. It's just that I've been debating with myself a whole lot.. If I had stayed home tonight then I was never going to do it.. ever.."I opened the kitchen and then directed him to my bedroom.. When we got inside he looked at me confused, "isn't this like your bedroom..?""Yeah it is...""So your dad wo...""Chris I'm gay... you are too... my dad isn't even talking to me. So relax.. and you have an hour."He nodded his head and walked in. He looked around a bit and I sighed, "it's not big or clean.. so deal with it."He laughed, "okay..."We he sat on
My life was so foreign to me. It felt like it wasn't my own. At some points I'd feel like I was living someone else's life trying so hard for shit to work but only for it to crash back at me.Over a week later, my brother was back home.. I thought things would get better when he got here, I thought my dad would come around or at least try and talk to me. But he didn't and he managed to do it for a week without Nick suspecting anything.It fustrated me. To be waking up everyday on this hatred to be going to the same shit at school. It was frustrating I swear. The only people who got me were Meagan and Chris. I still talked to them and my relationship with Chris was getting stronger by day.Layla.. well let me just say Layla kept her distance and kept on sleeping around. It bothered me and I don't even know why. Seeing three different girls everyday shove their tongue dowm her throat.. it bothered me so fucken much but I kept myself busy so
Layla dropped us home and my brother ran inside looking forward to tell our father what happened. I tried to move but Layla held my hand.."Layla I have to go...""I know... tell me what do I have to do.."I furrowed my brows at her in confusion, "what?""I'm an ass I know that. I'm hard to understand.. I just... I have said so many sorries to you.. it's bad. So I want to know what I should do to make things right between us. I hate what's happening. I miss you or joking around with you... so what should I do..?"I had no idea what to say right now. My mind was occupied by the fact that My brother was in there and I wasn't. What did he say to my dad..?"Can we talk about this later when you get home or tomorrow or any other day. Just not now.. my brother is in there...and I'm here.""So we will text...?" She asked and I nodded, "yes... so can I go pleas
You know a lot of shit happens in life that sometimes you can't explain. You find troubled children giving their families hell and the families still fight for them or still try to help them and love them as much... Then you switch things around, you find those kids who are doing all in their power to be the best to their parents. Best behavior, best grades, best at anything... then they for once show a trait their parents dislikes and they get disowned as if they have been the worst children from birth.For someone my age and with the shit I achieved so far.. I was considered as one of the "good kids" in my community. One that parents next door would use you as an example to their troublesome kids.. you know being used in phrases such as, "look up to Precious. She has done so much and is still respectful even today. Why can't you work hard and be hamble like her...?" That was nice, really nice.. but it still felt far because no matter how much peop
You know when you first discover your sexuality, you hear a lot of different stories out here. Others get thee best love and are saluted for being themselves, others are ignored for a while but later given a chance to talk and then they get understood... then the last one is what no one would want to experience. Your family wants to hear nothing and then they kick you out and disown you.I've read such stories before coming out and they scared me so much... therefore I never, and I mean never not even once in my life did I ever think I'd find myself packing my shit and leaving my home because I was chased out...But it was happening and I have planned for this so much.. I got ready for it and to my surprise I wasn't as scared.My father has been treating me like a stranger for the past month and it was exhausting. I felt like I was forcing him to parent me. Which was insane.So at this moment I had no idea
I couldn't believe what I heard from Meagan... I was going to Germany. I felt like I was dreaming.. it was just out of this world.Layla jumped on my back, "I feel soooo happy right now...""Umh.. Layla, shouldn't I be the one who's historically over the moon and jumping on your back?""Umh.. well, you can't do that because you're a coward.. so I'll do it for you."I laughed and she jumped off me. Nic came to me, "we shouldn't be all happy yet... She doesn't have accommodation.. which is where everyone gets in, we need to fundraise for that.. create shows and make sure that we charge people and by November we should have enough to last her that whole month.""Wait.. why will that be needed?""Because the competition sponsors only cover the six main dancers chosen, now, the school can decide to bring someone else, but we will deal with the costs.. Meg and I are working on som
I woke up feeling fresh and actually putting my thoughts exactly on my little brother and his game.I got up and went to take a shower then came back. It was a bit windy outside but hot, so I opted for my black shorts and a black & white basketball shirt with white sneakers.."Woow I guess it's safe to say you look so tomboyish.." Julia said the moment I came in and I laughed, "oh I'm glad then..."She got up into a sitting position, "can we just drop you off at the Nike Stadium and then leave you there.."I nodded my head, Meagan was going to be there so I didn't mind, "sure you can..."She took her phone out, "let me call Paul, please make breakfast for you..""Yes ma'am..." I said going to the kitchen to actually make cornflakes. They were good since it was too early.I took my phone and dialled Meg while eating.'hey...' she a
TWO YEAR LATER...Life is full of surprises.. All the fucken time.I suppose you think I'm now married with a white cute cat, a black dog and a baby on the way.. well if you actually thought that you are definitely...Wrong ✖❌✖😛Right now, I'm an editor in chief for Laura's online magazine. It turned out that my hardwork really caught her attention and I was impressing her every second.But it wasn't like that for the past two years. It was up and downs, confusions, love back, moving on and finally being content with who and where I am.After the encounter I had with Layla in the office, things turned to the way I never even thought they would.For a week I was depressed at home but did my work as expected... and to my surprise Layla refused to listen to me. Now, people at work thought we were still dating because she'd come
It's been a week and I haven't seen Layla, she wanted to talk to me. Called Julia a thousand times since my phone was with her but I couldn't bring myself to seeing her. I felt sick to my stomach, the thought of her made me feel so sick..The images in my head were killing me. Seeing her hovering over her ex like that, I wanted to yell or scream.. just to ask her what she was doing.Did she text me that on purpose so I can find them in bed...? But then I thought about if for the past week and realized that she didn't. It was the ex all along who texted me with her phone, knowing very well what her plan was and how she wanted to walk in on them. Julia talked to me and made me see things. From the first fight, she's been feeding Layla these lies so that she can be trusted and finally she was and then she took us down.I was so mad at Layla for letting the only person she promised not to allow do this to us, I was so mad at her
It's been a week and I haven't seen Layla, she wanted to talk to me. Called Julia a thousand times since my phone was with her but I couldn't bring myself to seeing her. I felt sick to my stomach, the thought of her made me feel so sick..The images in my head were killing me. Seeing her hovering over her ex like that, I wanted to yell or scream.. just to ask her what she was doing.Did she text me that on purpose so I can find them in bed...? But then I thought about if for the past week and realized that she didn't. It was the ex all along who texted me with her phone, knowing very well what her plan was and how she wanted to walk in on them. Julia talked to me and made me see things. From the first fight, she's been feeding Layla these lies so that she can be trusted and finally she was and then she took us down.I was so mad at Layla for letting the only person she promised not to allow do this to us, I was so mad at her
Ever met the devil, look them in the eye and have them actually tell you off? I mean you don't know this person and have nothing against them.. but they show up and they become the devil your mother warned you about.Sometimes life is just asdfjkl;.. it's confusing and shocking. I mean one least thing could happen and you'll be left stunned for the longest time.While on the other side, love is swepping you like a whirlwind and leaving you probably wanting for more or shuttered..My relationship was the best. I was thankful everyday that I gave the girl a chance and it was the best feeling ever. Everything was going amazing and I couldn't be happier.She was starting to actually film the show she was presenting on and I was going to be made permanent at work(hopefully) .. but my girlfriend said she would talk to Laura before my internship programme ended, so that if I get hired permanently, I know th
CHAPTER FIFTY - JEALOUSY...'sex makes you look so fucken amazing I tell you..' Meagan laughed on the screen of my phone and I rolled my eyes, "please stop. I will not hesitate to fucken hung up.. or worse bring back your ex-lover.."The smile on her face immediately faded and was soon replaced by a frown, "you are a joy killer. You should be proud of yourself.. why the fuck bring my ex into this.."I laughed. She was a bit sensitive when it came to talking about Tanya... "okay I'm sorry babe..""And how long will you use Tanya against me..? I thought she was grown and cool okay.. don't blame me for other people's odd minds."I didn't blame her, I just warned her and she refused to listen and screamed "Tanya loves me" now they were over but after one huge ass shitty thing went down.So Meg says the first month was amazing when they moved to Paris, which was January and Tanya found something to do while Meg went on
Saying goodbye to Meagan on the 27 left me feeling like shit. I ended up stuffing myself with wine and ice cream for two days (bought by my girlfriend) and cried to sleep. It felt like I was losing her like I lost Kathy. But she promised to keep in touch.. and might I add she was so fucken happy when Layla and I told the gang that we are together.. Everyone was happy saying "It's about time" like darn they been waiting for me to close the cirlce.After that though, work was on each side of my shoulder. Apparently the permanent staff decided to take leave and a few were left being helped by me and two other interns, which meant interns had double work now.. So I was at the office a lot or at events and what sucked more was that Layla was travelling a bit... which ended in us not spending lot of time together. But since she was dancing for Rouge's performances and I was covering some New year party with all those big artists.. it was by luck that I was actual
I felt hands pull me closer and warm legs intertwine with mine. My head was on her chest. I smiled involuntarily. If you had asked me this seven months ago; "do you see yourself waking up next to Layla and loving it?" I'd have totally fucken screamed a huge ass "NOOOOOOO"But today here I am entangled together with thee girl I never thought I would be. I mean Layla has always been drop dead gorgeous.. first time when I saw her I thought Oh God that girl was hot as hell... I had this little crush until I saw what she did to girls and the crush disappeared immediately being replaced by a feeling I couldn't even describe.From then I wasn't that much of a fan but she surprisingly was the one to come rescue me when I was fighting my own demons.. I hated and loved her at the same time... because all that shit made me weak for her again.She was a lot...from the past seven months I've really known her.. at first she was this
"God pumpkin can you finish up?" Layla called out from outside the bedroom for the 100th time.. and I sighed, "can't a girl get ready in peace please..""You're going to your home not some party in Sandton.." she complained and I laughed while applying lipstick on my mouth."Relax... I'm done.."She walked in the bathroom and snuck her hands around my waist from behind then she looked at our reflection in the mirror, "you look beautiful.. as always.. you don't even need that thing on your lips.."I smiled and looked at her in the reflection, "oh really now? Wanna help me remove it?"She laughed and pulled away from me leaving me cold, "don't tempt me babe.. we will end up missing this Christmas dinner thing.. I'll have you as my dinner.."My body immediately grew hot thinking about what she was saying. God it turned me on so much. Just t
"Give love chance"... they said... "what have you got to lose."My heart was beating so fast on my chest and I had no idea how to go about this. Do I blurt it out? How the fuck will things be after that? I mean we stay together after all.I sighed and Layla cleared her throat, "are you okay?"I nodded my head way too quickly, "yes ...yes... why are you asking?"She smiled, "you just seem wrestled by something.. like you're internally debating with yourself about something..""Maybe...""What's up? Wanna talk about it?"Okay so this was it, it was my chance to say this. I love her and I want us to give this a try.. to see how things will go.Shit..Shit.."Precious...""Layla... can I ask you something..?" I said and she looked at me before stopping at a red traffic light