Ten

   “Help, Lia please help it's so hot in here”. She screams as I try to get to her. There is fire on both sides of where she is standing “I’m coming, just hold on and do not move. I'll be right there”. I tell her calmly as I prepare to cross the fire in order to meet her on the other side of the kitchen.I try to cross over but I can't. This place is so hot and I feel like I'm being boiled. I feel so dizzy and I can't think properly with the smoke clouding my vision and almost choking me. “Hurry up please, I am finding it quite hard to breathe”. She calls out to me again and I hear her cough. I let out a cough of my own. I look at her and see that she is huddled up in a corner as she clutches her shirt so tight. She is staring at the fire fearfully as she moves deeper into the corner not really realizing that she can't move backwards anymore. “Hey, listen, look at me”. I say to her with a shaky voice. I tried to steady myself to be strong for her if not for me. She looks up to me trembling, with fear filled eyes leaving little space for hope. “We will get out of this together okay”. I wrap the thick wet dripping blanket around me tighter and mentally prepare myself for what I am about to do. “I am going to cross over this fire and move steadily towards you. You'll have to do the same okay, we will get out of this I promise”. I say still keeping my eyes locked to hers. She slowly nods her head still trembling. “You promise?”. “I promise”. I close my eyes. And if not for the crackling sounds of the fire, my heartbeat could be heard. I take a deep breath swallowing hard and then I jump.My landing isn't soft. I groan as my body hits the hard floor when I slip. I was really grateful for the thick blanket, it helps in protecting me from the hot tiles and the fire. I try to get up but the dizziness washes over me like waves upon the shore. Very Hard. “Lia”. She shouts and I could hear the panic in her voice and strangely that gives me the strength I needed. I slowly stand up so I wouldn't get my body on the floor again. “I am fine okay”. I try to ease her troubled spirits. “It is your turn now. You're a strong girl aren't you?”. I ask but she doesn't respond. “You know, you are the strongest and bravest fourteen year old that I have come across”. I continue, determined to get her out of there. Where was help anyway. I had called my parents immediately after the fire started and ran out of the house as our neighbors tried to bring down the fire. When I realized that my younger sister was still in, I rushed back without heeding to our neighbors calls. I saw her in kitchen where we had our last fight. “I am really scared Lia” “Don't worry help is on the way the firefighters would soon be here and so will mom and dad. Now I want you to be the brave girl you have always been. Just remember I am here with you. Little steps okay, take the littlest baby steps and before you know it you'll be under this blanket with me” I say softly and stretch out my hand still whispering.As she takes a little step out of the corner, I hear a loud thud. Tears feel my eyes as I realize what was happening.

The fire is spreading and our house is falling apart.

She hears it too and begins to cry. “I wish I had never been so stubborn Lia. I shouldn't have even argued with you at all”.My heart breaks, I couldn't bear to see her in this condition at all. “It doesn't matter now, let's get out of here and then maybe I would give you the smacking you deserve”. There is a smile on my face. I see her smile too and let out a small laugh. “Now come on, remember baby steps”. She slowly comes out of the corner and I nod my head in approval. “Little by little you can do it”. I continue to encourage her.I hear a creak and a crackle, I look up and see the cabinet that we keep our glass wares in, is about to fall. I snap my gaze back to where my sister is and encourage her to move faster, but I don't tell her about the cabinet. “Come on, you are doing it. Few more steps to go”. I look at her trembling body and little shaky steps.She continues to move further and I keep coaching her. She's about to get past the burning table and to me. I hear a strange voice shout I and my sister's name and my heart leaps with joy. Help is here already. The smile on her face tells me that she hears it too.There are just a few more steps to take before she is properly wrapped against the wet blanket with me. Just few steps and we'll get out of here. 

But then, the cabinet falls and it falls on her. 

   “Lia”. She shouts my name and I see her body on the floor instantly and blood pools out from her body which is now torn.

“Marilyn”. I shout panting. It takes me a few moments to realize that I am not in the burning house but on my bed and in my sheets which is soaked by sweat. I put my head into my palm and do what I've always done ever since I had started having these nightmares.I cry, silent choking cries.I wondered when all this would end. It's been almost three years now. That night ruined my life, it destroyed a part of me and I hoped that I would heal soon. Really soon. “Hey, you okay?”. I look up to see my door wide open and Andrea in my room looking quite frantic and disheveled. Her headphones are hanging on her neck and her sleep wear is quite rumpled. “I heard you shout. Was it another nightmare?”. She walks to the bed and sits with me.

  “Wow I must have screamed really loud, sorry I woke you up Andrea”. “That apology isn't necessary, you didn't wake me up”.I giggle as I check the little clock by my bedside table. “Oh the headphones. You and studying in the wee hours of the morning doesn't really fit into the same sentence”. “Shut up Anna, I'm trying out new times too study and also expanding my horizon”. “Okay so how did it work out for you”. “Well it did work out pretty nice and I think I'm able to read and understand better early in the morning than late at night”. “Oh that's nice, so what time did you start”. I look at the clock again, the time is five thirty am. “Three o'clock”. She smiles, “I didn't even know that I would last this long”. “Well you did sleep on time”. I say as I lay back on the bed and pull the sheets over me. It is really cold in here. “Yeah, I had a slight migraine”. She let out a sigh and changed the course of the conversation. “You called out her name, this is a first”. She is right, this is definitely the first time that I had called her name ever since my nightmares started. “Honestly, I don't know. I ...”. My voice cracks and Andrea rubs my shoulder comforting me. “It is okay. You will be fine”. I can tell that she wants to make another statement but keeps her lips sealed and I didn't prod her because I know what she is going to say.She will talk to me about forgetting the past and forgiving myself, she will talk to me about seeing a therapist or giving her a vivid description of the nightmare –which I don't want to, I can't bear to see her carrying my burden– and she would try to dissuade me from sleeping alone or even taking sleeping pills –she seized the former– . My nightmares are quite frequent now but I don't tell her that I can't share a room with her because of it. She opens her lips to talk and I know what is coming. “Why won't you just let me sleep here with you or even sleep with me in my room”. I look up to her and I don't say anything. “The nightmares are becoming more frequent”. Oh, she noticed. “Mind telling me about what this one is all about”. I see the look of concern on her face and I still don't say anything. My parents have always taught me not to pile my problems on other people, that I should learn to solve my problems by myself no matter how hard it maybe. “Listen, Rea my parents may not be here but I still want to abide by their rules”. I say and instantly I regret those words. I can see her anger slip in and how she tried so hard to fight it down. She stands up from the bed and starts pacing, from her tightened fists I could see that she is not trying to let the wrong words slip. “Screw you Annalia”. And with that she walks out from the room. I pull the sheets over my head and wallow in my tears. Few minutes later I hear the front door slam and I knew that she wouldn't be coming back anytime soon.