Chapter 15: Only Tina

Marcus.

I woke up to the sweet aroma of freshly roasted coffee beans and the sound of it crushed under the sharp blades of the coffee beans blending machine, which I had not used in a pretty long time.

I sat up in my bed, half of my body still covered in my greyish and fluffy comforter, too comfortable to get out to my liking. However, after being such a procrastinator for a good fifteen minutes, I got up from my messy bed, heading to my bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror. The man in the mirror stared back at me. His eyes were tired. He looked like he had not slept in days.

Indeed, there was not a single night in which I could go to sleep in peace. I could not sleep. If I ever tried to close my eyes, that night’s horrible scene would replay all over again in my head, it prevented me from sleeping.

My inner wolf was angry at me, too.

I sighed and walked out of my bathroom to change.

I did not want to think about it anymore. Not today.  

Giselle was there, in the kitchen, making her morning coffee.

Her eucalyptus scent and coffee aroma filled my kitchen in the sweetest and coziest way possible. But in those notes, there was my scent lingering in, filling itself in the harmony of those notes. It made me feel perfect and imperfect at the same time.  

But, much to my surprise, those scents mixed with mine had formed an invisible hand scratching me inside. 

It recalled me of that night.

I had to admit that night I still had the slightest control over myself. 

I could still hold myself back from not knotting her, to make sure pulling out before I swelled up. But that night, when her scent mixed with mine, our scent was so dominant, so seductive. It pulled me in. It clouded my mind, and I was lost in it.

I wanted to drown in that scent.

My wolf bathed in that tempting aroma and wanted nothing more but to submerge in that scent.

Somehow, someway, I remembered it had told me, no, it screamed at me to mark her. Mark her!

But I refused.

“What are you thinking about?”, I mumbled to myself, shook my head, tried not to think of it anymore.

I looked back at Giselle. 

The little Omega still stood frozen in front of the coffee machine. Her eyes still had sleepiness clouded. Her left-hand thumb and index fingers in the edge of her favorite yellow bright with an animated sun painted on mug under the brew of the coffee machine. Her head turned to one side, staring at the scenery at my small balcony outside the sliding door nearest to her.

At my kitchen balcony, there stood plenty of pots of plants: herbs, flowers, cactus, and some unknown vines.

When I moved to this apartment, mom had been here for quite a time. She had told me to trim and reorganized my kitchen balcony to just a few pots for a clean, breathable, and not so covered in such greenish. Green was good. But it should be cut down to a certain amount. With that many greens I had from both the main and kitchen balcony, she said that was just overwhelming. Some insects and bugs might find that my kitchen balcony was so attempting and ideal to make a life out of it.

Many years later, you could tell, I had never gotten it done.

I wondered if Giselle was thinking the same thing or not.

She was too focused that she did not notice I was there, too.

I made my way to the kitchen, opened the fridge, rummaged to find anything to fix for my breakfast.

“I made you breakfast.”, Giselle spoke up.

Giselle had noticed me. She spoke up out of nowhere.

When my gaze met her, I could clearly see a bit of awareness hidden in Giselle’s doe eyes.

Maybe she thought I did not catch what she said the first time, so she repeated, “I made sandwiches…if you want...of course.”

She sounded hesitant.

It had been a month since our wedding, and although Giselle and I were living together, we rarely met. Not to mention, we rarely talked, because I could never look at Giselle after that night.

That night I forced myself on her. I could hold myself back, but I gave in. And when I realized, then it was too late. The damage had been done.

She was lying there, beside me. The bruises on her skin looked like evils’ eyes staring at me. They were prooves to my carelessness. I forced myself on her without her consent. At that time, the only thought that swam in my mind was to release my anger on her.

Even though my inner wolf was going crazy inside my mind. It begged me to stop. It growled at me, threatened me not to push things too far.

But I could not stop. So I let my anger get the best of me.

We had not talked since then.

It felt like there was an invisible wall between us.

The more I thought about it, the more my heart ached at the thought.

My inner wolf felt sad, too. Agony almost, and when I looked at Giselle, deep in my core, something churned. The feeling was strange.

I felt sorry for her, which I should never have felt. Being a stubborn man as I was, I shook my head, dismissed the thought.

She wanted this marriage. She wanted to be in Tina’s position, which she should not have been.

Therefore, this was her punishment.

I let out a heavy sigh and rushed to the door as the thought of her firmly confirmed that she had pushed Tina away, making its way to my mind.

“Marcus, I…”, Giselle’s voice rang me back to reality.

I glanced at her. Maybe it was because my gaze was a little bit too harsh, I could see her flinched.

A guilty feeling crept in. My inner wolf ushered me to comfort her, but I shooed it away.

She deserved it.

“What do you want?”, I asked, coldly.

Giselle looked like she was debating with herself. She wanted to say something, but shook her head, dismissed it, “Nothing.”

I quickly grabbed an apple then rushed to the door.

My inner wolf was almost out of control then.

I was just about to head out when my toxic trait got the best of me. I returned to the kitchen, finding Giselle where she was just mere seconds ago. I huffed and told her, “What’s with that long face?”

“W…What?”, Giselle frowned. She was obvious to my sudden temper.

“You want to take Tina's place, you got it then. So now what’s with the long face? Or are you regretting it now? It’s not the life that’s you wanted, right?”, I huffed. Even I could hear my sarcasm.

Giselle stammered, weakly defense for herself, “I…I don’t…”

“You don’t what?”, I cut her words.

Giselle bit her lips, shook her head, “I’m sorry.”

Her sorry fueled a wave of anger inside of me. 

I clenched my fists, gritted my teeth. 

My inner wolf let out a low growl. Much to my surprise, it was not a growl for threatening Giselle. It was scowling me. 

Me! 

It wanted me to stop.

And I did what it wanted.

I left the apartment, made sure to shut the door in the most loudly way I could.

Fuck!

I only wanted Tina. I only loved Tina’s scent with me. I just wanted to mate with Tina.

Only Tina!