Feelings

CHAPTER SIX

Cindy looked at me when her phone rang. 

“Ethan again?” I asked.

She nodded and answered the call.

I covered my ears and went to my room. 

We just got back from the shooting. I wanted to sleep so bad.

I opened my phone. I have missed calls from Marcus and Ethan. 

I removed my clothes and went to the bathroom. My back was aching from the long drive.

I opened the faucet and let it flow in the bathtub. I deserve a warm bath to ease my body aches. I stop at the big mirror to look at myself. I don’t see anything wrong with my body. I got my skin and curves from Mom and my long skinny legs from Dad. 

What’s not to like Ethan? 

I sighed and touched my lips. I forgot all the men that kissed my lips and yet there was Ethan. I never like anyone else because he set my standards so high and yet he doesn't have the balls to catch me! Oh, I hate him so much!

“Urgh!” I screamed and picked up the lavender bubble bath.

I heard a knock before going into the tub.

“Jessy, Ethan will be here in a minute. He’s already in the parking lot.” Cindy said.

“What?! You tell him that we are in here? Cindy!!!” I wrapped myself with the towel and marched out of the bathroom.

Cindy was sitting comfortably in my bed, not minding that I am freaking out.

“He’s in the parking lot and saw your van. How could I lie?” She asked, enjoying my dilemma.

“Just tell him I’m dead!” I said and locked myself in the bathroom again.

“I heard the doorbell. He’s here Jessy.” Cindy shouted. 

I hate this girl sometimes. 

I drained the tub and just took a quick shower.

I don't know what to say to him.

Should I act that I didn't remember that we kissed? I got two best actress awards but when it comes to Ethan, he always knew the truth.

I sighed.

I wrapped the towel to my hair and wore a silk robe. 

"Why are you here?!" I was shocked to see him in my room.

He was lying on my bed with his hands behind his head as his pillow.

He looked at me and tapped the bed.

"Let's talk." He looked serious.

"We will talk outside. Now go out so I could dress properly." I said and walked to my cabinet to get my clothes.

"Cindy's watching outside. Let's talk here." He said in a bored tone.

I rolled my eyes.

Ethan was being himself again. Bossy.

"We have nothing to talk about Ethan. If you really don't like me, fine. Give me time to heal. Don't talk to me and stop meddling with my life, like you care about me." I said as fast as I could.

I could feel eyes starting to build up tears again.

Hold it, Jessy. 

He cocked his head and stood up.

"I care about you, Jessica. Stop it with your drama, you can't fool me." He said and walked in my direction.

Shit.

I stepped back until I felt the cabinet in my back.

"I-im not acting. I will stop loving you from now on. But don't you dare introduce a girl to me! Ever!" I said with conviction.

He smirked in front of me and crossed his arms.

I wanted to look at him straight in his eyes but every time I would stare in his ocean green eyes, I always got lost.

We were like two or three inches apart.

I could smell his fresh perfume.

How could I ever walk away from you?

He didn't say a word. He has this irritating grinned on his face that I wanted to erase.

He knew me so well and I hate it!

"What do you really want Ethan?" I asked, giving up.

"I already have what I want in life, Jessica. I'm here to get what I need." He said moving closer to me.

I bowed down my head to avoid eye contact but he lifted up my chin using his finger.

And there, I got lost again.

My mouth parted waiting for his lips.

I closed my eyes when I felt his hand on my waist.

My legs trembled in his touch.

"Open your eyes, Jessica." He whispered.

He kissed the side of my ears and went down to my neck.

I could feel my skin burning by his kisses.

I opened my eyes and first saw a pair of green eyes, staring down at me.

"I need you, Amelia Jessica." He said and kissed me fully on my lips.

I heard him groan when I answered his kiss with the same intensity.

I wrapped my arms around his nape.

Fuck.

I couldn't contain my feelings for him.

We were both breathless after the kiss.

“You’re making me a sinner.” He said.

“We don’t have the same blood, Ethan.” I said, touching his face.

He looked confused all of a sudden and moved away from my touch.

He was doing it again. 

“I know you’re thinking about our parents. W-we can keep it a secret for now.” I suggested.

He gulped looking back at me.

“We grew up together. All of the people around us knew we were siblings. Tell me Jessica, this thing about us. Is it really worth it?” He asked.

I looked at him in disbelief.

“So you’re saying I am not worth it?” I asked.

I walked to my vanity mirror and sat on my chair.

I wanted to cry.

“I’m not saying that baby. I j-just don’t want to hurt them.” He replied and knelt to my side.

He held my hand and brought it to his lips.

“You don’t want to hurt them, so it's more convenient to hurt me than them? Do you think I’m selfish Ethan? Do you think I don’t think of their feelings? Shit. Ethan, I wanted to bury my feelings for you. I tried so hard.” I said and covered my face.

I was so embarrassed. 

He tried to pull my hands but I yanked my arms away from him.

“Get out. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” I said and wiped my tears. 

 I stood up and fixed my robe.

He grabbed my hands, still kneeling in front of me.

My tears seemed to have no end. 

I am hurting.

“I love you, Jessica. Don’t stay away from me.” He said, watching my reaction.

My mouth dropped by his confession.

“You love me because I'm your sister.” I said and looked away.

Don’t hurt me too much Ethan.

“I love you more than that. I never love you as my sister. Sorry but that’s the truth. I will tell you the truth from now on.” He said and hugged my waist. “I was seven years old when you came into this chaotic world. I didn’t like you because you cry so loud and you even got Mom’s attention away from me. I have this weird feeling about you. Mom said to love and protect you all the time which I did. But in a different way.” He chuckled and stood up.

He wiped my tears and pulled me to the bed. 

“I thought I was crazy before. But then you got kidnapped and I couldn't help you. That was the darkest day of my life, Jessica. You don’t know how scared I was.” He continued.

I couldn't remember that day. The doctor said that I was too traumatized so my brain erased all of the memories of that day. 

“I couldn't imagine you being scared.” I smiled.

“So you see, you’re the only one who can make me feel that way.” He chuckled and pulled me on his lap. “Amelia Jessica, I’d like to ask you to be my first girlfriend. Please?” He asked, looking at me adoringly.

“I am not your first girlfriend!” I exclaimed, remembering the girl that I saw in his room when we were teenagers. 

“You are.” He looked serious.

“The girl that I saw on top of you in your room?” I asked.

I cried like a lunatic after I saw that! My virgin eyes got burned because of that sight!

“Ohh, that one. She was never my girlfriend. I turned my focus to her instead of you. I tried so hard to stay away, Jessica. I am not proud of that. I had to hurt innocent people to forget you.” He said.

“Collateral damage.” I said and held his face.

“I love you.” His mouth was slowly making its way to my neck, teasing every core in my body.

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