Almost

CHAPTER FIVE

“Boss E.T?” Edmund waved his hand at my face.

“Y-yes?” I asked, shaking my head to focus on our meeting.

I can't stop thinking about what happened last week.

“Engineer Javier was asking for your approval, Sir.” He whispered, passing on the documents to my desk.

I looked at the Engineers at my right side.

They were all waiting for me.

“Ed, please take charge. Just email me the highlights. I need to go somewhere.” I said and picked up my phone and wallet.

“But S-sir, we have a meeting later with Mr. Morales.” Edmund said, blocking my way out.

Shoot. I totally forgot about that. He’s an important client. I shouldn't miss it.

"I'll be back before the meeting." I said and passed by to him.

I untied my neck tie and went straight to the parking lot. 

Jessica doesn't answer all of my texts and calls. 

Cindy said that they were in Olongapo for three days now. I wanted to go there so we could talk but I don't want to disturb her shooting.

I sighed.

I wanted her to stay away from me but I'm longing for her presence. I think I'm going crazy.

I hop in the car and fasten my seatbelt.

"Idiot!" I shouted and hit the steering wheel.

I remembered the night that we almost did it. It was not the first time that Jessica expressed her feelings towards me, but that night. It was different. She almost gave herself to me.

I called Cindy and asked for Jessica. As I expected, she didn't talk to me again.

"Just tell her that I'm really sorry and I want to see her after the shooting." I said.

"No worries, Ethan. I got her back." Cindy replied.

"Thank you, Cindy." I said.

I am so grateful that Jessica has a friend like her.

I dropped the call and stared at my reflection on my phone.

Mom said before that I should always prioritize our family no matter what. I agreed to that.

Jessica was kidnapped when we were kids. I was just turning thirteen that time.

I was so mad at myself because I couldn't do anything to save her. Papa ended up paying a hundred million pesos to the guy he called Mendez. I will never forget his name. Jessica got traumatized because of that. Our parents decided that we had to continue our schooling in the United States of America. I finished high school and my college degree there. Jessica on the other hand skipped three years in her studies. For three years she practiced Judo and other self defense skills. That was her coping mechanism for the trauma that she experienced. They went home after three years of staying there. They didn't know that I joined a secret organization while I was in Harvard, my best friend Jacob recruited me. I pleaded to Mom that I will finish my studies before I go home. Mom didn't agree of course, she wanted her only son to be with them but I stood on my ground. I was lucky Papa understood my decision. 

I went through excessive training while studying. There was a time that I wanted to give up but I always remember my goal. To protect my family and find Mendez.

And up until now I have no leads or any information about Mendez and his group. I joined the secret agent department of the government after meeting Director Fajardo. He was the speaker on the day of our graduation in the organization. He gave me his contact information after we talked and the rest was history. 

The first thing that I did when I entered the base was to search any record of Mendez but it was not there. It was like someone intentionally deleted all of his traces. 

I started the car.

I need to let go of this feeling.

I need to visit her.

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Jessica's POV

I watched the sun slowly setting down. 

I wonder what he's doing right now.

Oh my God. Give me a break!

"Hey." Cindy sat on the sand beside me.

I leaned my head on her shoulder.

"I'm fine." I said even though she didn't ask.

I know she's worried about me for a couple of days now.

"Doesn't look like your fine. Come on. Time to speak up. What is this time?" She asked.

I bit on my lower lip.

"Ethan and I almost had sex a week ago." I whispered but enough for her to hear clearly.

She moved away from me. Her eyes widened when she turned to me.

"For real?" She loudly asked. "I mean, you're not dreaming or drunk that day?" She asked again, not waiting for me to answer her first question.

I rolled my eyes at her and pulled her close to me again.

I looked around and saw that no one was in the beach front area except us.

"Okay, I was drunk but I knew for sure what happened. My God, Cindy I did the first move! I don't know how to face Ethan again!" I said.

"You did the first move and then? What? Did he kiss you? Continue!" She demanded as she shook my shoulders.

"Calm down. He pushed me. We just kissed. Nothing more." I sighed, embarrassed to myself.

"Do you really think he likes you too?" She asked.

"He always says he loves me. As his sister but then the look in his eyes and his actions tells otherwise. I don't know. I'm so confused when it comes to him. One moment we're good and enjoying each other's company and then one moment he distanced himself from me." I replied and hugged my legs and put my head on my knees.

"How about Marcus?" She asked again.

"You know nothing's going on between us. He's just a co actor to me. A friend. That's all." I replied.

She stayed silent for a moment and tapped my shoulder.

I looked up to her.

"Marcus obviously likes you. Why don't you use him to make Ethan jealous?" She asked.

"I'm not so desperate to do that." I looked at the sun again.

"Not desperate but you just threw yourself to him?" She sarcastically asked.

"I was drunk! My body took over my mind! I wasn't thinking straight." I said, trying to defend myself but I knew she was right.

"I don't want to use Marcus. He's so good to me." I admitted.

"Then what else should you do? I'm running out of plan!" She asked, looking tired of all the drama.

I'm running out of hope too.

“I don’t know. I just want him.” I answered.

I really know what to do anymore. 

Something was not right in his actions whenever we were together. 

I love a man that will never see me as a woman.

How could I forget his deep green eyes that haunt me in my dream?

How could I forget the taste of his lips that I crave every time I think of him?

How?

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