- Natalie -
.
I reach my locker and rub the obscenities scribbled over my locker. It’s chalk today. That’s a plus! I had to file a complaint when somebody used spray paint. Dumb people didn’t know about the camera nearby. Things are way better now. Whenever some new topic stirs in school, they usually forget me. Whenever they get back on me for whatever reason, it’s usually the same shit. Leaders of the bully associations will agree, they need to come up with better insults.
“Hey”
Riley!
I turn my head towards the soft voice and nod my head, smiling. The past year was probably the hardest for her (apart from me). Because she doesn’t know what exactly happened to trigger all this mess. She created some distance first, but then tried to rekindle the friendship after a few months. Not sure if she approached me out of pity or if she just missed me? We were good friends, after all. Even before West was in the picture to ruin everything.
Despite her efforts, we haven’t moved past Hi and Hellos.
“How’s your running practice going?”
What’s the point of small talk? West doesn’t like it. I can clearly see. After all, she became his official girlfriend last year. Barely a week after our so-called breakup. Not that we were in a relationship... but to me, it was a breakup. A messy one, I would say.
Them making things official was salt to my injury. I am still glad though. Official means fewer chances of West cheating on her. I hope so he wouldn’t go around sticking his dick in other girls while he is fucking her. Sometimes It feels like I never knew him.
Riley doesn’t understand why we don’t like each other anymore. What am I supposed to tell her? I was sleeping with your boyfriend. Because I am sure about one thing. I was the other girl in their story. I was just not aware.
“It’s good.” I shrug. “Amped up for the upcoming race?”
Her shoulder slumps. “I haven’t been able to get back on track,” she whispers as we start walking towards our class.
Oh Oh... Not this. I know what she is talking about. I didn’t cope well when I was in the same situation. It can affect performance. Training needs significant changes. It takes some time to get back on track. Almost A year sometimes. It’s not easy after all. Coping with teenage hormones & body changes. That was just the start of my bad time.
West wasn’t kind to me. He said I needed to suck it up and work harder. At that time, I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I didn’t realize I needed support and faith, not doubt or tough love. I ignored many things about him. He was rude to others. Often. I ignored it because he wasn’t rude to me. I guess this is why they say don’t ignore a dog when it bites others. It’s only a matter of time before it comes for you too. Riley will probably face his indelicacy now. I was so fucking blind before. Now when I am at a distance, I can finally see.
I try to sugarcoat. “You know… I faced the same problem. But it does get better after 6 months or so.” The truth is it could take more.
Her face drains, and I know she has taken it the wrong way. It doesn’t matter if what I told her is true. It took me more than a year. Tons of self-loathing and numerous counseling sessions to understand this. I made the mistake of quitting for a year too. Our Coach wasn’t any help either. In running, they consider puberty a weakness. What the hell are they expecting? Should girls stop growing?
I want to give her some more suggestions about food and diet. Hope she doesn’t freak out due to weight gain. But West spats from behind, “She isn’t a quitter like you Natalie. So, better keep your suggestions to yourself.”
I turn and roll my eyes. “Yea, what do I know about women’s bodies?”
I pace myself to avoid any further conversation. But still, I hear him saying, “You are stronger babe. you just need to work harder. Why do you even talk to her? You are way better than her.”
I shake my head while walking away. He must feel eager to talk to me. That’s why he doesn’t miss any chance to pass a comment loud enough.
This remark wasn’t bad, though. Once he told her, “She is beneath you!” Another time, “Rumor is she slept with half of the hockey team.” That time, I had an urge to prove him right. After all, I have a thing for people in sports. Too bad I took an oath not to be around assholes anymore. West alone gave me enough problems and regret for a lifetime.
And Yes, she is strong. She won’t quit as I did. Quitting was indeed a weak move. But sometimes In life, we gotta take longer routes. And she isn’t facing harassment as I did. So that’s a plus for her.
I hope the coach is kinder to her. He can see changes in me. How things have improved overall.
“Wish I had pushed you to train, not to quit.” The coach had told me once. It’s astonishing when you hear an apology from an adult. Sounds like music to the ears. It made my day better. Then again, he was back to being an asshole. Pushing me for my own good.
I walk towards my class, and a guy blocks my way. I sigh and look at him.
- Natalie -
.
I have been noticing this guy for the last few days and I knew he would approach me. I am not stupid enough to think he likes me or something.
No.
He just wants to fuck me. Many guys do. Those who think I am easy enough or those who think the rumors are true approach me sometimes. Not entirely his fault, though. I did sleep with a few guys who were decent enough. At least, I thought they were. But considering the way news of my hookups got out. I don’t think they were good guys either. But that’s past now.
“Would you like to come to my place tonight?”
Sweet! He didn’t even offer me a date. Straight to the point.
I ask anyway, as I need to give him the benefit of doubt, “And what will we do?”
My counselor had told me not to assume the worst. Maybe he just wants to know me better.
He chuckles and says leering at my breasts, “We could do what you are famous for… “
It annoys me, and I look at him with a hard gaze. Then I fix my eye on his bulge and make a face. It usually works. They think I am judging them and they leave me alone for good.
Once he gets uncomfortable enough with my silence and my gaze, I say, ”It’s too small for me. I don’t think you have what it takes for a girl to cum..” and walk away.
Fucker will not approach any girl for the next few weeks. If I am on my good days, I can tear them apart like this and this is a good day.
During class, when I lose all hope of keeping myself awake, my phone chimes, and I notice a notification from Jacob. Looks like he finally replied. I smile and tap on the screen to open it.
“Give me your attention, Ms. Natalie, not your phone.” Mrs. Davis’s voice finally breaks my drowsiness. How did she even notice me? Shouldn’t she be paying attention to teaching us better? Making things interesting enough, so we won’t be tempted to sleep in class or check our phone for that matter.
It’s her fault. Not mine.
“Probably planning her next...” Norris mumbles, loud enough for most of us to hear.
“Shut the fuck up Norris!” I snap before he can complete his insult.
“Ok, out of my class, both of you.” Mrs. Davis snaps at us.
She has little patience, and she doesn’t give a shit about students hating her. I must give her that. I and Norris pack our bags and head outside.
“Thanks, she was boring anyway,” I tell Norris while heading the opposite direction to him towards the library.
Norris looks at me, confused. It’s funny to watch his gears turning in his brain. After all, I acknowledged him with no malice this time.
In the last 2 years, Norris approached me so many times. I had different reasons to say no. First I was with West and he had no idea. Then I was too numb to date or even apologize for how I behaved with him on that fateful night.
Soon after, rumors about my sexual adventures began circulating in the school. From his actions, it seems, Norris felt hurt and started showing his true colors. I shouldn’t need to justify myself that those are just rumors or what-so-ever. Just like West, he is on the hockey team and he doesn’t miss passing snarky comments here and there.
Talking about Hockey... I wonder if this new boy in my life would be any different.
17. It’s barely step one - Jacob - . “I thought you were coming to our school today?” West sits next to me in the locker room wearing his shoes after our match practice. “No man... one more week. Next Monday, to be exact.” I frown, “I thought I told you about that chemistry competition on Sunday..” West scoffs, “You indeed are a dork!” and walks out of the locker room. Nerd would be more appropriate. But Ok.. Whatever gets you off West. If someone from Maple High would have teased me, I might have taken offense. But I know West doesn’t mean it like that. He is crude to everyone. His default mode. I like him. He is fun to be around and surprisingly cool for things other boys have embarrassed me about. I am looking forward to attending school with him. I am sure we will have some of the classes together. With Natalie too. She and I can be good friends. Or maybe more. I am eager to meet her in the evening again. She told me she would like to take a walk with Coco. I wonder if s
19. Damn June - Jacob - . “No we don’t.” That's what I told her but she is still hovering around me ever since I came back home. It must be some Useless-School-Gossip. I am not interested... I try to ignore her, but eventually, give up when she enters my room and interrupts my priceless me-time in bed. “What is it?” I snap. It’s exhausting being around everyone all day long. I need a break for God's Sake! “I know you usually don’t like these things… so-called rumors, but...” “Let me stop you right there.” I sit up in my bed. “I am not interested.” “It’s about Natalie.. “she says in a pleading tone. “Jesus! Definitely not interested June!!” “It’s not good Jacob. She isn’t a good person...” “JUNE! What the Fuck.” I practically yell at her. “If she isn’t good, I would like to figure it out myself. You know, these things piss me off.” “Your hockey team isn’t on good terms with her either,” She yells back first, then calms down and adds, “I will shut my mouth now. But I know you
22. Potluck- Natalie -.“I am not going anywhere!” Amy yells and shuts her door so loud, my table trembles with shock. I peek towards my door to see what this drama is all about.“What happened?” I ask Mom as I see her in front of her door.“She is just being…” Mom shrugs and air quotes, “Amy.”I chuckle and Amy opens the door, “Oh really!! Only because I am young doesn’t mean I always have to run errands. Everyone just bosses around me.”I choke at her words. She may or may not be right. I confess I often send her downstairs to bring a thing or two, twice or thrice every day. That doesn’t mean I boss her around. Noo... She is just.. too polite to say no.Amy is either too quiet and shy or angry and yelling. There is no in-between. I understand her meltdown, so I ask mom, ”What is it? Do you need something done?”Mom sighs. ”Yeah, I baked some cake. Just wanted to send it to Rachel’s house while it’s still warm.”“Rachel?”“Jacob’s Mom.”I frown. ”But you sent her cookies yesterday.
23. Not my problem- Jacob -.June scurries around the living room as I throw a few cushions on her way. I chase her behind as she goes upstairs to her room.“Behave like your age, Jacob!” Mom yells from behind.God everyone pampers June so much! I gotta kill her. I don’t think I have ever felt this much embarrassment in my life before!!!I try to push through June’s door as she tries to stop me from entering her room.“I did you a freaking favor!” She glances at me from the door crack.“Let me inside! Or I will push hard… Don’t cry mommy when you fall on your bum.”“Promise we will talk like civilized people.”“Ok..” I stop pushing the door and June locks it.I scoff. ”I knew it. Coward.”“Go pick someone your own size!”“How long are you planning to stay there? You gotta come out sometime.” I warn her and walk away from her door.Wait, what?I go back to her door and knock.“I am not stupid, Jacob!”“What do you mean, you did me a favor?”There is a pause, then she opens her door.
26. Injustice - Natalie - . After an uneventful and surprisingly peaceful day at school, I spend my time watching tv and hearing mom rumble about my college choices. She doesn’t want me to go away. I, on the other hand, want to put as much distance between this town and myself. I glance at my watch, expecting Jacob to turn up anytime. Half an hour passes, then almost an hour. I sigh, thinking about texting him, but remember that boy barely uses his phone. I change my clothes and walk over to his house. If he can come unannounced, it’s only fair if I surprise him too. I am eager to visit him. I want to see Coco, not him… I needlessly correct myself. After all, I didn’t meet her during my morning jog today, or him for that matter. I give myself more excuses. I walk towards his house, cursing myself inwardly. I am probably getting too involved with him. As I knock on his door and patiently wait for it to open. I suck in a breath as I see, Not Jacob, Not his mother, nor any other
29. Hot New Transfer- Natalie -.Bloodsucking Monday is back. I was holed up in my room the whole weekend. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. I feel a little guilty about not replying to Jacob. It is his first day at this school. I am sure it will be great.As I put my stuff in my locker and turn. Millie almost bumps into me, then gives me a smirk.What is that smirk about?She has a locker next to mine. She often passes mean comments or strange questions in my way. Norris has been dating her for the past few months. From what I have heard, she is super possessive of her boyfriend. Norris could do better.Ok, Stop... Not my problem.“I heard that hot new transfer is your neighbor.”WHAT??Has his house address leaked already?“New Transfer?” I am not gonna admit I know him. It will end up with the same signature question.Are you planning to fuck him, too?Not exact words, but something subtle.“Oh, come on! He lives somewhere near the lake. You live there too… Rich people!!”I
32. Ask Norris- Jacob -.After getting home, I lay in my bed and hugged Coco for a long time. I didn’t see Natalie much at school today. It was for the best, but it made me feel miserable. She came in late and left early from the classes we had together. Didn’t notice her anywhere in the cafeteria either. I get it they don’t get along. But was it necessary to shut me out without a word? I probably read it too much when we visited my old place. It meant nothing. That day and our last few interactions were nothing.My phone goes off after some time. I realize I had fallen asleep and Coco was long gone.West calling…“Where are you? I texted you an hour ago.” I rub my eyes and his voice breaks my drowsiness.“What happened?”“Could you bring something to eat? I will bring drinks. Turns out it’s a surprise party… So we gotta arrange everything.”“Oh… Will his parents allow us at his place?”“They ain’t home. I know that for sure.”“You better be... I will see what I can do. How many peo
33. Dread- Jacob -.I have been dreading this day for the past week, but it’s finally here. Coco is cooped up against me in bed. She never came into my bed when I was asleep. But now, here she is… as if she can tell I am upset.This entire week was wretched. David & Sam apologized for their behavior at the party. But things are sour in the team. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting their apology. It looked half-assed, anyway. Probably, coach or West forced them to apologize.I am thankful to June for taking on David that night. Me raising hands on them first wouldn’t have ended in a good way for any of us. With the evaluation match coming up close, we cannot afford an injury. Consequently, team spirit is low right now. But I couldn’t ignore what happened. They will get around. If they don’t, it’s their loss.Although I am glad that the argument didn’t end up in some new rumor. I have seen stories stir up for no reason at old school, so I was a little concerned. But West told me he had w