7. Official girlfriend

15. Official girlfriend

- Natalie -

.

I reach my locker and rub the obscenities scribbled over my locker. It’s chalk today. That’s a plus! I had to file a complaint when somebody used spray paint. Dumb people didn’t know about the camera nearby. Things are way better now. Whenever some new topic stirs in school, they usually forget me. Whenever they get back on me for whatever reason, it’s usually the same shit. Leaders of the bully associations will agree, they need to come up with better insults.

“Hey”

Riley!

I turn my head towards the soft voice and nod my head, smiling. The past year was probably the hardest for her (apart from me). Because she doesn’t know what exactly happened to trigger all this mess. She created some distance first, but then tried to rekindle the friendship after a few months. Not sure if she approached me out of pity or if she just missed me? We were good friends, after all. Even before West was in the picture to ruin everything.

Despite her efforts, we haven’t moved past Hi and Hellos.

“How’s your running practice going?”

What’s the point of small talk? West doesn’t like it. I can clearly see. After all, she became his official girlfriend last year. Barely a week after our so-called breakup. Not that we were in a relationship... but to me, it was a breakup. A messy one, I would say.

Them making things official was salt to my injury. I am still glad though. Official means fewer chances of West cheating on her. I hope so he wouldn’t go around sticking his dick in other girls while he is fucking her. Sometimes It feels like I never knew him.

Riley doesn’t understand why we don’t like each other anymore. What am I supposed to tell her? I was sleeping with your boyfriend. Because I am sure about one thing. I was the other girl in their story. I was just not aware.

“It’s good.” I shrug. “Amped up for the upcoming race?”

Her shoulder slumps. “I haven’t been able to get back on track,” she whispers as we start walking towards our class.

Oh Oh... Not this. I know what she is talking about. I didn’t cope well when I was in the same situation. It can affect performance. Training needs significant changes. It takes some time to get back on track. Almost A year sometimes. It’s not easy after all. Coping with teenage hormones & body changes. That was just the start of my bad time.

West wasn’t kind to me. He said I needed to suck it up and work harder. At that time, I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I didn’t realize I needed support and faith, not doubt or tough love. I ignored many things about him. He was rude to others. Often. I ignored it because he wasn’t rude to me. I guess this is why they say don’t ignore a dog when it bites others. It’s only a matter of time before it comes for you too. Riley will probably face his indelicacy now. I was so fucking blind before. Now when I am at a distance, I can finally see.

I try to sugarcoat. “You know… I faced the same problem. But it does get better after 6 months or so.” The truth is it could take more.

Her face drains, and I know she has taken it the wrong way. It doesn’t matter if what I told her is true. It took me more than a year. Tons of self-loathing and numerous counseling sessions to understand this. I made the mistake of quitting for a year too. Our Coach wasn’t any help either. In running, they consider puberty a weakness. What the hell are they expecting? Should girls stop growing?

I want to give her some more suggestions about food and diet. Hope she doesn’t freak out due to weight gain. But West spats from behind, “She isn’t a quitter like you Natalie. So, better keep your suggestions to yourself.”

I turn and roll my eyes. “Yea, what do I know about women’s bodies?”

I pace myself to avoid any further conversation. But still, I hear him saying, “You are stronger babe. you just need to work harder. Why do you even talk to her? You are way better than her.”

I shake my head while walking away. He must feel eager to talk to me. That’s why he doesn’t miss any chance to pass a comment loud enough.

This remark wasn’t bad, though. Once he told her, “She is beneath you!” Another time, “Rumor is she slept with half of the hockey team.” That time, I had an urge to prove him right. After all, I have a thing for people in sports. Too bad I took an oath not to be around assholes anymore. West alone gave me enough problems and regret for a lifetime.

And Yes, she is strong. She won’t quit as I did. Quitting was indeed a weak move. But sometimes In life, we gotta take longer routes. And she isn’t facing harassment as I did. So that’s a plus for her.

I hope the coach is kinder to her. He can see changes in me. How things have improved overall.

“Wish I had pushed you to train, not to quit.” The coach had told me once. It’s astonishing when you hear an apology from an adult. Sounds like music to the ears. It made my day better. Then again, he was back to being an asshole. Pushing me for my own good.

I walk towards my class, and a guy blocks my way. I sigh and look at him. 

16. Hockey

- Natalie -

.

I have been noticing this guy for the last few days and I knew he would approach me. I am not stupid enough to think he likes me or something. 

No.

He just wants to fuck me. Many guys do. Those who think I am easy enough or those who think the rumors are true approach me sometimes. Not entirely his fault, though. I did sleep with a few guys who were decent enough. At least, I thought they were. But considering the way news of my hookups got out. I don’t think they were good guys either. But that’s past now. 

“Would you like to come to my place tonight?”

Sweet! He didn’t even offer me a date. Straight to the point.

I ask anyway, as I need to give him the benefit of doubt, “And what will we do?”

My counselor had told me not to assume the worst. Maybe he just wants to know me better.

He chuckles and says leering at my breasts, “We could do what you are famous for… “

It annoys me, and I look at him with a hard gaze. Then I fix my eye on his bulge and make a face. It usually works. They think I am judging them and they leave me alone for good.

Once he gets uncomfortable enough with my silence and my gaze, I say, ”It’s too small for me. I don’t think you have what it takes for a girl to cum..” and walk away.

Fucker will not approach any girl for the next few weeks. If I am on my good days, I can tear them apart like this and this is a good day.

During class, when I lose all hope of keeping myself awake, my phone chimes, and I notice a notification from Jacob. Looks like he finally replied. I smile and tap on the screen to open it.

“Give me your attention, Ms. Natalie, not your phone.” Mrs. Davis’s voice finally breaks my drowsiness. How did she even notice me? Shouldn’t she be paying attention to teaching us better? Making things interesting enough, so we won’t be tempted to sleep in class or check our phone for that matter.

It’s her fault. Not mine.

“Probably planning her next...” Norris mumbles, loud enough for most of us to hear.

“Shut the fuck up Norris!” I snap before he can complete his insult.

“Ok, out of my class, both of you.” Mrs. Davis snaps at us.

She has little patience, and she doesn’t give a shit about students hating her. I must give her that. I and Norris pack our bags and head outside.

“Thanks, she was boring anyway,” I tell Norris while heading the opposite direction to him towards the library.

Norris looks at me, confused. It’s funny to watch his gears turning in his brain. After all, I acknowledged him with no malice this time. 

In the last 2 years, Norris approached me so many times. I had different reasons to say no. First I was with West and he had no idea. Then I was too numb to date or even apologize for how I behaved with him on that fateful night. 

Soon after, rumors about my sexual adventures began circulating in the school. From his actions, it seems, Norris felt hurt and started showing his true colors. I shouldn’t need to justify myself that those are just rumors or what-so-ever. Just like West, he is on the hockey team and he doesn’t miss passing snarky comments here and there. 

Talking about Hockey... I wonder if this new boy in my life would be any different.