Lost In Love

Jonathan's POV

I basically died or rather I am half dead, well that's as far as my mother's explanation goes. I still remember it like it was yesterday, how confused I was at the end of my life as I know it and now I am stuck in between worlds and can't find my way out. My mother has told me that I have to go back soon, before the red moon hits my world, she said that if that night passes me by then I will be stuck here forever. I will be like all the people that were stuck here, they can't move on and they can't go back. 

I can only imagine how my mother feels, she has been here for over a decade. She still won't tell me what really happened to her, the fact that she is here means that she is caught in between worlds, a month here feels like a year, I can't imagine how she feels when she has been here for so long, the worst part of being in this place is being able to peek in and look back at the people we left behind. Everyday I go to the Willow tree hoping that Elena would come.

In the meantime my mother has been trying very hard to find a way to help me to communicate with Elena. I have to tell her how to get me back into the real world but we have failed at every try. All of this is so frustrating to know that I can't go back to the woman I love. I hope that she still feels my presence, that she knows that I am still alive somewhere. For weeks I have been holding back from talking to my mother, I mean really talking and now I am ready.

I walked to the waterfall and saw my mother kneeling down. I don't know what it is about this waterfall but I know that my mother loves it here. I walked to her and she turned and looked at me, she gave me an angelic smile. 

"Hey son... " She said with a smile.

"Hi mama..." I said and down next to her.

"You seem troubled, what's the matter?" She asked me.

"A lot mama... I don't know how much you have seen over the years but... Father is not the man he was, he has changed so much and I don't know if I'm right but I think that he has something to do with your death..." I said.

"Your father loved me, he really did and what happened to me was not his fault, I have forgiven him. Your father had to do what he had to do to protect his people and his son." She said.

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"Ever wondered why our pack's Magical heart is no longer glowing? " She asked me.

"Yes, I heard that they gave up their magic to save the man that killed me. " I said in an angry voice. I mean Edwards grandmother was from our pack, she married a werewolf in the Cresent pack and they took her in as one of their own, she then gave birth to Edwards mother who then asked for help.

"Yes that's part of it... I don't even know how to tell you this, you know all these years that I have been here, I never thought that a day would come when I would see two brothers killing each other... " She said.

"Brothers? Mom what are you talking about?" I asked her.

"I guess now is the time to tell you the truth... The whole truth." She said. 

"I love your father, I loved him ever since I was a little girl, we always knew that we would end up together because our father's arranged our union when we were young, lucky for us we imprinted on each other so even if we had am arranged marriage, we truly loved each other.

Now when two people are married, they are expected to have children and start a family. We wanted that as well. I couldn't practice magic in the village because it was forbidden. " She said but I stopped her before she spoke further.

"Magic? What do you mean that you couldn use magic? I mean you would have to be a witch in order for you to do that. " I said because it sounded like she was talking about being a witch. 

"Yes... We come from a long long line of witches, when the pack lost their magic some regained it but by then, magic had been burned from the village, anyone caught practicing magic would be killed. For generations my family hid their magic from the world, same way I did." She said.

"This is confusing, how did I not know that you had magic?" I asked her.

"Because I didn't want you to be killed, you are my first born which means that you are going to inherit my magic, I also knew that when you reached sixteen, your true nature would show and your father would kill you, all that I did was to protect you." She said.

I was more confused, what she was telling me didn't make any sense. What she said couldn't be true, I mean surely I would have known if I was a warlock.

"Mother I don't know what you are trying to tell me right now." I said.

"I know... I suppose I should start again. Your father and I wanted a child so much, I would have done anything to give him in heir. A strong heir. We tried for years but we could never get pregnant. Your father got frustrated and blamed it on me, he said that I was Barren. I knew that I was not barren but I also couldn't tell him that he couldn't have children." She said as a tear went down her face.

"What are you trying to tell me here mother?" I said, I wanted a clear explanation.

"We wanted a child so I left the village, I told your father about a healer who used herbs to help women in my position, he was desparate for a child as much as I was so he let me go to get help while he stayed behind. I went to France in look of this alleged witch but I couldn't find her.

I remember how angry and disappointed I was that I was going home empty handed, I went to the bar to get a drink, I met this guy who was very handsome but there was something strange about him, plus he had a weird smell, one I couldn't identify at the time.

I told him about my problem because I thought that he was a friend. He was so charming. One thing led to another and before I knew it, I had cheated on my husband, something that your father would have killed me for if he knew the truth.

I ended the affair as quickly as I had began it, I went back home to my husband, about a month later I received news that I was with child. I remember how happy your father was to hear that I was finally pregnant, that I was going to give him an heir. 

When you were born, my mother... Your grandmother was there and she told me that not only do you have magic inside you, but that you are not my husband's child." She said.

"No... No! You can't tell me that." I said in an angry voice and stood up. "You cannot tell me that my whole entire life has been a lie, you cannot tell me that." I said.

"Im sorry baby, your father was so happy about finally having a child and I couldn't bring myself to break his heart, we took away your hid the truth about your real father, I didn't think that a day would come when he would find out, but he did and on that day, I found myself here, I begged for him to keep you alive." My mother said. 

"No... So who is my father? I mean my real one... This explains so much, it explains why he was so hard on me, why he always pushed me more than anyone else, why he never really cared for me and why he tried to kill me." I said.

"I'm sorry son... " She said

"And I thought that we weren't keeping secrets, so you mean to tell me that he killed you for me? " I asked her.

"No...he didn't kill me as such, he did something far worse. He stabbed me with a blade that didn't exactly kill me but didn't keep me alive as well.He knew that I would end up here alone, this was his punishment for me, I can't go back and I can't move on." She said.

"So who's my real father?" I asked her. 

"His name is Cole... " She said and my heart stopped beating for a bit.

"The same Cole that I know? The one who... Oh sweet Jesus! You mean to tell me that Edward is my half brother? That I am a Hybrid?" I asked her.

"Well not exactly, you see you didn't inherit the vampire gene because you had a lot of magic in you, you my son are a warlock,you just don't have magic of your own." She said.

"This is all too much to handle, I have got to go back home. I wish you never told me truth. " I said and walked away from her. I was angry at my mother, she should have told me the truth. She should have told me that I was not my father's son. It explains why he never wanted to step down and let me take over the pack.

I walked over to the willow tree and sat under it. I had a lot of thoughts running through my mind. I can't believe that Edward is my brother, I suppose this means that Cole doesn't even know that I am his son. In the best interest of everyone, I have to keep this to myself. I wish I can say that I hate my father for sending my mother here but I probably would have done the same. He raised me for years thinking that I was his son. I guess this explains a lot about me.

It explains why I was much much bigger and stronger than the other werewolves, It would also explain my need for hunting and eating animals, why I only eat meat only when it's prepared a certain way, rare and bloody. Edward is my brother, he is my own brother and he all but took my life. I should have been long gone by now. I leaned on the tree and a leaf fell, I suddenly heard Elena's voice, it was as clear as daylight. I looked up and I saw her. 

I guess this means that we are making progress, that the last spell we tried had some kind of positive effect, I could see her kneeling down on the willow tree. She had my shirt with her, she put it to her nose. She was crying. 

"Elena... Elena baby can you hear me?" I said but she couldn't hear me, this means that I now had access to my own world, my mother said that the first step to getting back home is to gain access. I could see her but she couldn't see me. I kneeled down next to her. I tried to touch her hair but my hand just went right through. I couldn't even touch her.

"Oh baby... I need you, I need you now more than ever... If you don't come back, I am afraid that I might turn into something I am not..." She said as she wept.

"Everyone around me is afraid of me, afraid of what I might do and I think that they might be right, without you I am lost. I don't know what to do and I am sorry, I am so so sorry that I am a failure, I have been searching and searching and now I am afraid that I might not get to back.

This is not how it was supposed to he, this is not the way our life is supposed to be, we are supposed to lead this pack as a team Jonathan, you promised me, you told me that you love me, that you will never leave me and you broke that promise. I need you to come back to me.

We have plans, we have things that we need to do. Things that the both of us are supposed to do. I can't do this on my own, I can't live like this. I know you are not dead, they think that I am driven crazy by grief but I know you're out there. I know it in my heart that I can bring you back. I won't stop trying, I promise you that." She said. 

Wish that there was a way that I could let her know that I could see her, that I was also trying to find a way back to her. I want her to know that I love her with every fibre of my being. I watched her as she laid back and put the shirt on her chest. 

I believed her and believed in everything that she told me, she said that she loves me and I believe her, I know that she is going to everything that she can to bring me back and as much as I feel like it's good news, I also feel like it might not be too good because that makes her very dangerous. There isn't anyone she wouldn't cross to do that, infact there won't be any boundaries as far as I am concerned.

I went back to the waterfall hoping to find my mother there, she was there and she was picking up flowers. I didn't understand why because she didn't even have a flower vase in her house. Everything here looks very very old, there's a lot of people who stuck here, some of them are stuck forever. My mother said that no one has been able to get back. Some of them have even been burried.

"I thought that you were angry at me. " She said. She didn't even turn her back to look at me.

"I am... but I need your help." I said.

"With what?" She asked me. She still had her back turned to me.

"Something happened today, I saw Elena...I was in the other world, my world. " I said.

"Really?" She said and dropped the flowers, she was in shock. We have been trying for weeks to achieve what we wanted, we were trying to get back to my world and now it looks like we might actually be successful at it. 

"Yes and I tried to talk to her, I was so close to her I could practically smell her vanilla lotion on her. It felt so real. " I said.

"It was real, this place has a lot of mysteries, some of them I haven't even been able to get my head around yet but now that we have access, we can find a way for you to communicate with your world, that way we can be able to see what's stopping you from going back." She said.