Chapter Six

“ Why the hell did you not tell me that you were an altar boy?!” Nuel asked as I came up to him at the street side park where he had instructed me to meet him.

“ Hold it there bro”, I said, raising my hands to hold him back if he should want to hit me or anything because he was as mad as a cow that had seen a red cow. I didn't even know when I called him ‘ bro'. “ You never asked me if I was, and you didn't even tell me that you were a priest. A priest for crying out loud”, I said, sounding so much like my mom when she had caught my dad cheating on her.

“ You didn't ask me too, gosh!”, he exclaimed, putting both of his hands on his head like an African woman who has just received the news of her husband's death.

He put his hand over his mouth, breathing hastily, trying to calm himself as I stood there too, doing the same.

I could've bet that we were both thinking the same thing - how the hell was this possible? Saying that we were in deep shit was totally an understatement. We were in a pit, a sea, an ocean, full of shit, drowning in it.

“ Look, you can't tell anyone about us”, he said, his eyes red with seriousness.

“ I would be executing myself the very day I do so”, I said, running my fingers through my hair.

“ We can't do this anymore”, he said, little droplets of tears falling from his eyes.

“ We can't what anymore?” I asked, the tears too falling from my eyes, knowing fully well what he meant but still wanting to confirm it.

“ This. All of this”, he waved his hands around like a real estate agent showing a prospective customer a piece of purchasable land.

My tears became uncontrollable, pouring out vigorously as I choked on my own breath. He looked at me with the most pitiful eyes I had ever seen, his own tears falling gently.

“ We can't continue. We shouldn't. We would be daring God if we did and I just do not want that”, he said, cleaning the tears off his cheeks.

“ We would be what? Daring God? You think so?”

“ I know so, okay? I know so”.

“ So the fact that you were having an illicit relationship while being fully aware that you were a priest wasn't daring to God? It's the fact that the relationship is with an altar boy? Is that it? Is that what you mean?” I was almost screaming, actually not knowing why. It was probably because I was too scared to lose him, too scared to end what we had.

“ Collins, listen, it's different”, he placed both of his hands on my shoulders, “ our case is different”.

“ What makes it different? Huh? Because I just can't seem to understand why we should end things”.

Of course I didn't understand why. Quite alright, yes, we were both shocked to discover our other life impromptu, plus the fact that that life was one that should've prevented us from doing what we were doing, but where was “ we can't do this anymore” coming from?

“ You don't understand”, he said, sounding a little bit angry.

“ Then make me understand. Make me understand why we shouldn't do this anymore”.

I needed to know why, and that never meant that I would agree to end things. Never. For me, there was no end to us. If he was tired, he should go take a nap, we'll continue right where we stopped when he wakes up.

“ We're both altar Ministers Collins, we both are!” He was screaming but grinning his teeth reduced the volume.

“ And what does that matter?”

“ Everything. Okay? Everything. It matters. If we should continue we will probably still be throwing poo at God's face, we'll probably still be having him crucified again. We will be insulting him, and trust me, we both would never want to test God's patience. He's been patient enough with us all this while, permissively allowing us to insult him over and over again, but that patience has a limit Collins, it has a limit”, he said and I was instantly reminded of how my brother, Michael, had sounded so fearful while telling us of how mom had nearly killed him because of his poor performance in school - he had the same horror in his eyes, just like Michael.

“ Oh, I never knew you were so conscious about God and his commandments”, I said, trying to sound as sarcastic as possible.

“ I am”.

“ Great. And you still went ahead to deflower me”.

“ Stop”, he sounded urgent.

“ And you still went ahead to fuck me multiple times”.

“ Stop”, he sounded more urgent, but I couldn't care less, not when I hadn't finished spitting the nonsensical words from my mouth.

“ And you still went ahead to ask me out, to offer to be my sugar daddy”.

“ I said stop”, he rushed towards me, closing my mouth with his palm and bending me, making us both to hide behind the park bench.

I struggled to free myself but he was to strong and I was only able to let out muffled screams. He shushed me and I calmed down only when I saw someone flashing a torch light around the park. Those damned security men just didn't know what perfect timing was all about.

We both stayed quiet, watching as the security man approached the bench which we hid behind. He must've heard our voices, and he flashed his torch light again, trying to make sure that the coast was clear. For no reason at all he sat on the bench, making Nuel and I to hold our breath, daring not to breath, and he bent over and tied his lose shoe lace. He got up after tying the shoe lace, flashed his torch light again, and strolled back to his post.

I was grateful that he hadn't come with his patrol dog, because if he did, the nigga was accurately going to sniff us out, and I just didn't want to imagine what would become of my fate.

“ You never listen, you young man”, Nuel said as he let go of my mouth. I would've retorted but I was feeling thankful that I decided not to speak. “ I'm not saying anymore. We're ending whatever it is that you think we had. From now on I am nobody else to you but your parish priest, and you are nobody else to me but an altar boy in my parish”, he said and without even allowing me to say anything, he dashed out of the park, and a few seconds later he was speeding off in his vehicle.

I wanted to cry, so badly, and I did, holding myself from screaming before I attract the security man again. I sat on the grass for a while, crying as I looked up to the sky, feeling like a character in a movie, in a tragic movie.

The moon was traveling faster towards the west, and I knew that I would be queried more than a witness in a court murder case if I didn't start heading home, and so I picked up the invisible broken pieces of my totally shattered heart and walked my way home.

Thankfully, everyone was asleep when I arrived - mom must've had a busy day, and so I slipped onto my bed, the one I shared with Michael.

I tried to sleep but I couldn't, Michael's constant snoring and sleep kicks and punches made more uncomfortable than ever.

I just laid in silence, holding back my tears as I prayed for the sun to quickly rise.