Chapter Four

“ What sins do you think that cry out to heaven?” Father Remigius, our Theology 202 lecturer asked us in class one day. “ I'm not asking you to tell me what the Catholic doctrine says about the sins that cry out to heaven or to listen it as dictated in the catechism pamphlet, I'm asking you to tell me what sins you think, what moral vices you think that cry out to heaven”, he said, walking back and forth in front of the classroom, his black cassock flowing in sync with the gentle breeze and making it hard to discern if he was a lecturer or a student since everyone in the classroom also had a black cassock on.

There was a dead silence for a while as everyone thought about what to say - we all definitely wanted to impress his sexy grey beards and that was our chance to do so.

“ Yes Phillip. What do you think?” He said as Phillip raised his hand.

“ Personally, I think that the sun that cries out to heaven more is the sin of oppression. Christ made it evident during his ministry on earth that the weak are not to trampled upon by the strong, and during different occasions in the scriptures, he was considerate of the weak. So I think that if we go against that wish of his, that the action cries out to heaven”, he said, backing up his answer with supplements. He was definitely that kind of student who would write a textbook instead of an answer in an examination hall, and if the exam question asks students to discuss a particular concept, then forget it, he's going to write a dictionary.

“ Very good answer Phillip. Anybody else with a different opinion?” Father Remigius asked, seeking for more.

“ The sin of idolatry”, Mathew said.

“ Good. More please”, father Remigius requested.

More answers came, with different people giving answers such as the sin of sodomity, the sin of fornication, abortion, murder, and so many others.

“ The sin of divine insult”, I said, hoping that I reveal to everyone that I was stupid.

“ That's a new one Emmanuel. Tell me, why would an insult be referred to as divine?” He asked.

“ Well, if the insult was directed to God, and given that God is divine, then it's a divine insult”, I said.

“ Good”, he nodded, seeming impressed. “ And why do you think that this sin of divine insult cries out to heaven more than any other sin?” He further asked, a cue that he was interested in my answer.

“ I think it's because it belittles the essence of God himself, and even for me, personally, I'll be super pissed”.

“ Language boy”, he warned.

“ I'm sorry father”, I apologized.

“ No problem. And yes, all of your answers are correct and accurate, but I'll agree more with Emmanuel”, he said and I instantly felt a wave of pride. “ I know that you people know that we the clergy are constantly accused of being intimate with the religious women who work under us; the nuns and the reverend sister. I'm I correct?”

“ Yes father”, we all responded.

“ Now”, he continued, “ just a little piece of advice; if you ever feel the need to… you know, get intimate with someone, never do it with a religious or a minister. Whether it is an altar girl or a nun or a reverend sister, never do it with them”, he said and we all bluntly stared at him in confusion - was he giving us the permission to do it with other people?

“ I know I'm supposed to tell you to control your sexual desires and keep yourself for God, and I know that even if I keep telling you that, you'll still get to do what you want, and that is why I'm offering this advice. If you know that you can't keep your peanuts zipped up, then do it with someone that isn't a minister because doing it with such a person; as Emmanuel said”, he was looking directly at me, “ will be a divine insult, and trust me, only by his heavenly grace will you be able to survive a minute after committing the sin of divine insult”.

His words rang in my ears as I stood there, staring at Collins while he stared back.

I was going to die - that was it, case closed. The only question was how God was going to kill me. Will he send his lightning? Or will I just slump and die? Or rather, will be send a poisonous snake out of nowhere to bite me just like he did with the Israelites in the wilderness? Oh no.

“ Please God, choose the second option. Allow me to just fall to the ground and silently make my way to the grave”, I silently prayed.

Honestly speaking, that was a better option. If I were to be struck with lightning, it will become evident to everyone that I had offended God, likewise if I was bitten by a poisonous snake.

“ Father Emmanuel?” Father Cyprian called but I was too absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't hear him. “ Father Emmanuel?” He called again, louder this time, finally bringing me back from the insides of my head.

“ Yes”, I answered, shifting my gaze from the equally shocked Collins to him. “ Yes father?”

“ Why are you standing there as if you've seen a ghost? Come get dressed, it's almost time”, he said, pulling his chasuble over his head.

I came over to the table and with the help of another altar boy, I got dressed, firstly putting on my amice, followed by the alb, the cincture, the stole, and finally the chasuble.

“ You'll be the chief celebrant”, father Cyprian said as soon as I was done getting dressed.

“ Okay father, but you'll have to take the homily. I didn't have time to prepare for it”, I said.

“ No problem. I will”, he said and I felt thankful. Not only had I not prepared for the homily, I was quite sure that even if I had prepared for it, the shocking revelation I just had wouldn't allow me to fully concentrate.

I bowed to father Cyprian and then to the altar boys and they all aligned for the procession as the Sanctus bell rang, signalling everyone in the church to rise to their feet as we processed to the altar.

I was still surprised that nothing has happened just yet. Not the snake, not the slumping, and definitely not the lightning.

God must be preparing to kill me in grand style. He probably had it in mind to strike me with the lightning immediately I step foot in his sanctuary, and so as we processed to the altar amidst the solemn atmosphere and the wonderful entrance hymn by the choristers, my heart pounded a thousand times in fear of what was to happen.

Everyone was staring, probably eager to see the new priest, but I didn't indulge them in greeting, not when my life hanged on a balance. I watched as Collins climbed onto the sanctuary, and even though I also expected something to happen to him, nothing happened.

Probably, God only punishes the priests and let's the other offender go scot-free, but hey, that isn't fair!

I held my breath as I approached the altar, and as I stepped my left foot on it, I waited for a sign, a sharp pain to the chest or the sound of a roaring thunder, but none came, and as I approached the altar and prostrated before it, nothing still happened.

Okay, he had probably forgiven me. I mean, he was an all merciful God.

I relaxed a little bit and started off with the celebration of the holy mass. The introductory rites went smoothly, together with the liturgy of the word. Father Cyprian was indeed an orator and even I enjoyed his homily, but as I raised the chalice for transubstantiation during the liturgy of the Eucharist, I heard the roaring of thunder in the sky.

Right there and then, I knew that I was dead.