Amanda opens another can of beer. Emanuele stopped at the first one, and now all she wants to do is drink water and eat snacks. The two are on the balcony railing of the twins' apartment, and Amora is inside cooking something.It had been two weeks since Joshua had left, and there was a strange, horrible emptiness in Emanuele's heart.The week before, the group had wanted to propose a sort of collective lynching against Thabata, but the former bride begged them not to do anything to her. Despite being hurt, the girl with the honey-colored hair only got some peace and quiet when she fought back. She didn't want to restart the cycle.After taking a sip of her drink, Amanda mutters:"Can you have alcohol? I thought it would be harmful since you still take some strong pain medication."Emanuele shrugs."We all have a day when the rules don't apply. That's my case."The twin laughs."I can't believe someone as nice as you joined our group. I mean, we lost a mocre, swindling snake, and gain
A movie played in Emanuele's head.Johnny was smiling, hopeful, even a little dull despite drawing attention to himself. He had been waiting for this for a long time.The girl with the honey-colored hair didn't know whether to run out immediately, discreetly interrupt the boy's speech, or simply stand there without saying anything.Of course she would be very happy if he actually asked her to marry him. The two of them were seeing each other quite often, they confessed their feelings, they had mutual trust and a lot of respect, of course. The friends gathered there already thought of them as an official couple.Emanuele never thought she would actually have a serious relationship. The first and only time she got involved with someone, it was more of a fling than anything. Mainly because the man himself avoided showing others that he had any involvement with her, probably to protect her from some reprisal.Although the path she followed had a more than obvious destination, the girl sti
He doesn't see her. For the milliseconds that the girl can clearly see that this is her old roommate, Johnny takes her hand and they both go inside the building together.This could only be a joke in very bad taste.How could the two of them not have met yet? How could her then-boyfriend live in the same building as Joshua and neither of them be aware of this?Inside the elevator, the young man says:"Are you worried about something?"Damn. She had always been very good at hiding her own emotions. If it came to the point of failure, it was because they were indeed very much on display.Emanuele took a deep breath, calming her own thoughts. That night should be special, and not just another one of those difficult early mornings full of worry and torment. And besides, they were there to celebrate making it official.She could put that aside, at least for the time being.Not least because Joshua being there was the least of her problems. Sooner or later she would have to tell him about
Emanuele's hormones boil so hard under her skin that she is afraid she will boil over.She gasps, feeling the weight of Johnny's request. To lose her virginity. To allow him, who was now her boyfriend, to be her first man.Ashamed, the girl remembered that the first sexual contact she had was not with Johnny, but with Joshua, when he masturbated her. Of course, the girl would never say this, even after the little talk about sincerity they had just had.It was one thing to be sincere, but it was another to completely lose track of things.Standing there, still dressed but dying to get naked, Johnny looked at her with a kind of hunger, an urgent and insatiable desire. She wanted it too, of course, but she was afraid. Would it hurt? Would she regret it?Her mother always called her a "tramp" when she could, especially after the young woman had dyed her hair red. Unconsciously, she was very afraid of being looked down on or judged. Breaking that line, taking that big step, seemed like a l
When they finished, the two remained lying next to each other. Johnny's arms remained clutched around Emanuele's torso, who was breathing deeply, still absorbing everything that had just happened.He said he loved her. And she said she loved him too.And it wasn't a lie.Even if there was some trace of confusion in her feelings for her former roommate, it was clear that the feeling was minor, perhaps more subtle. Joshua would never date her, never make those sweet promises.Not least because he was too lost in his own bitterness to care for anyone."How are you feeling?" After a few seconds of silent contemplation, Johnny finally says something.That was quite a question. Emanuele doesn't even know how to begin to answer it, but she tries:"It feels like... The world I know, or the one I knew before that... Has completely changed."He gives her a kiss on the forehead, letting the girl continue her line of reasoning."I always read in stories what a young girl's first time was like, wh
Emanuele is so embarrassed, so shocked and frightened that she cannot even formulate a sentence.Little by little she is trying to connect logic with the whole thing: Joshua lived in the same apartment as Johnny, maybe even on the same floor (total bad luck!). Did he go there to talk to him? Yes, they had already settled down after the unfortunate episode of the fight, but it was still strange.The girl's voice sounded slightly high-pitched when she asked:"What are you doing here?"Flabbergasted, Joshua replied:"I came to talk to my neighbor. And what are you doing here?"Then the man's eyes dwell on the details: on the slightly flushed cheeks, the messy, barely disguised hair in a loose bun.... And the shirt is obviously too big for the body, with a lack of feminine adornments. In other words, a Johnny shirt.Emanuele realizes the line of reasoning being formed, but also cannot admit the truth. She puts one of her hands on her waist, trying in vain to be inclement."I've been going
Johnny asks permission to enter, leaning his bag on the kitchen counter. Then he looks at Joshua:"Are you going to stand there? Come in."The man obeys, closing the door behind him. Until then, neither he nor Emanuele had even tried to explain what was happening. The girl still remained red, absolutely miserable and wishing she could turn into an ant and get out of there.Johnny doesn't seem angry or upset. He starts cooking bacon with eggs, while Emanuele and Johnny sit at the table, but not next to each other."Well..." Joshua begins. "I came here to talk to you and bumped into Emanuele. I confess I was a little surprised.""Really?" Johnny asks, still busy with breakfast preparations."Yes, but it was only for a first moment. We started chatting away the instant you arrived."The host places three shallow plates on the table, and soon after, three cups. Emanuele touches her almost healed nose, and Joshua asks:"How much longer before you take that thing off?""At the end of the mo
Emanuele looks at Johnny, expecting rebuke, shock, anguish, or something more or less like that.Well, there is surprise in his eyes, that's a fact. But his tone of voice doesn't change when he asks:"Is that so?"The girl is dead embarrassed, but proceeds with the explanation:"He touched me. Only once. And then we never talked about it again... So I didn't make a big deal out of it. But... I guess I should have told you anyway. But I was afraid. I'm sorry."The boy sighs deeply and looks at the walls of his own home. Then he finally speaks:"It's okay.""What?""It's okay. I'm not angry about it.""I don't understand. In the hospital you were so sad when I told you about the kiss.""It was different.""Why?""Well, until then I had only a suspicion that something was going on between you. And what upset me was that you didn't even count on the trust that was established between us. I felt a little betrayed in that respect. And also... Wait. On the day of the kiss he didn't touch you
. . . . . . . . FIVE MONTHS LATER . . . . . .Emanuele looked at herself in the huge full-length mirror. The girl hardly knew where to look, which detail to care about first.She didn't know whether to look at the beautiful hairstyle in her now dark brown hair; her natural color.She didn't know whether to look at the impeccable makeup on her face, which made her even more beautiful and radiant than she was feeling.And I also didn't know whether to look at the beautiful white dress, simply cut, adorned with small mother-of-pearl beads. Despite the simplicity of the outfit, it was undeniable to say that the bride looked divine that day.Smiling, she turned around in front of her own reflection. Her heart was pounding with happiness, and she felt the stars in the night sky outside wishing her good luck. The curtain behind the door opened. A short, pudgy girl smiled sympathetically as she entered the room, openly admiring her."Miss Parker, you look beautiful!"Emanuele smiled."Thank
The old man falls to his knees at the same instant. Emanuele runs to him and hugs him tight, but Joseph does not respond. Instead, he seems to be doing his best not to scream as loud as he can."Dad!" The girl says."Adriele died? I had two daughters, and one of them died? Is that it?! Is that what you are telling me?!'Emanuele tries to hold back her sobs, but she can't. Instead, she says:"Yes, Dad. I'm really, really sorry. It all happened so fast! I lost my mother, my sister, and now... Now you are all I have left. You are literally all I have as family!"Joseph can't say anything for a while, only cry. The two of them are shaking very hard. Sarah, when alive, said that Morgan couldn't get the proper reaction, that he was too broken inside. But now he seemed quite emotional. I wonder what had happened.The smell of her father, enveloping Emanuele's nostrils, is soothing and familiar. In a snap, she remembers that the same scent enveloped her when she was in the arms of death, tra
Convincing Crimson to enter the police database to find her father's address was not that difficult.In fact, Emanuele was quite surprised when she had to use only one of the six rehearsed arguments. The old man shrugged and said that at that point it was no longer worth trying to pretend not to act unofficially from time to time.What really took a lot of lip from the redhead was convincing Joshua not to go with her. The girl knew that he only wanted to protect her, but Emanuele was very assertive in her arguments. She needed to do this alone, face that part of her past, and see if there was any possibility of fixing it in her future.Sarah had said that he was in a depressive spiral, and that when he saw her he could not react properly, and that it hurt her.Emanuele then prepared herself emotionally. She would not be disappointed or resentful if, by some chance, the man who at one time taught her a beautiful lullaby did not remember her... or was not touched by the moment.The youn
For a few seconds, all Emanuele can do is stare at Joshua. The two of them are still naked, and the distance between their bodies is as minimal as possible. "What?" she asks, softly. I wonder if she had heard right. Had her emotions stunned her enough for her to hear such a request?He gives a quiet laugh, then opens a confident, sentimental smile."Will you marry me?"The girl immediately sits up, leaning against the headboard of the bed. She covers her own nakedness with the blanket, still looking at the man, who also sits down."I..."Several things go through her head.The first was that no, she could not get married. Not in that life and not ever. All the misfortunes that had happened to her, all the horrible and unfortunately scarring traumas that were etched into her skin; all that made marriage itself a terrible idea.According to the books that the young woman read, especially during her teenage years, marriage was the union of two people. Total commitment to each other, com
As soon as he closes the door, Joshua gives warm, soft kisses on the sensitive skin of Emanuele's neck. The man sighs, almost intoxicated with passion, and murmurs:"I love the way you smell."With all the delicacy and romance in the world, Joshua props the redhead's torso on the bed, leaving her legs and feet touching the floor. He caresses her over her clothes. Emanuele moans."The last time we were together like this, I gave only a demonstration of what might come next. Remember?"He stimulates her further with the tip of his thumb, in subtle, gentle circular motions. "Those were the words of a man overcome with desire, and even lust, if I am willing to admit it. Today I may again have those feelings in my body, but... there is a difference. Now I am sure that I love you."Still with his thumb on Emanuele's clit, Joshua kisses her eagerly; the movement of his tongue is smooth and warm. Murmurs come out of her throat, as if the teacher is delighting in that moment.Emanuele's hands
The winter dawn is cold.A month has passed since Emanuele saw her sister die. One month, and even then, the memory was still latent and terrible.The girl had already been to therapy, but the nightmares continued to torment her. Joshua didn't know what to do anymore, since every night at two o'clock in the morning the girl's terrified screams woke him up.The teacher got out of his own bed in the dim light. The clock on his cell phone said it was one hour and fifty minutes, that is, ten minutes before the nightmares began.Standing up, taking care not to make any excessive noise, Joshua opened the door to his room, going towards Emanuele's door.But the door was open.Frowning, the man approaches the room. Her bed is empty.Still not making hasty decisions, Joshua goes to the living room, equally empty. His heart only slows down when he sees the girl sitting at the table, drinking a glass of water. She watches him without saying anything, then goes back to sipping the liquid.Slowly
Joshua immediately embraces Emanuele as soon as she, still very tearful and emotional, leaves the room where Sarah is being held. She clings to the man's clothes, sobbing terribly. Her eyes are swollen and red. "I am here," he murmurs. "I'm right here, my love." The girl can barely respond or say anything. A man wearing religious robes appears. He is middle-aged and wears thick-rimmed glasses. In his hand is a Bible. The man's voice is patient and docile, and he uses all his politeness as he approaches Emanuele. "May God's infinite mercy soothe your heart, child. I am so sorry for your loss." Apparently, the priest was already very well informed of the situation. The girl does not respond, only sinks even deeper into the chest of Joshua, who makes no mention of letting go. The policeman in charge of Sarah's surveillance accompanies the religious man. That was the protocol. Before being formally executed, Sarah would have the right to console herself and at least try to ensure a se
The next day dawned gray, cold and absolutely silent.Of course, cars were still passing by, people were leaving their homes to go to work, and children were going to school. But the noise present, that typical sound that Emanuele's ears were used to, could not penetrate the enormous bubble of silence that surrounded her.The call from the delegate the day before was an answer she had been begging to receive, but now that she knew that her sister's last wish was to see her, an unbearable weight had taken over her heart. Sarah was going to die. And all they had together were brief, monitored, timed conversations.Emanuele looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a black overcoat and pants of the same color, as well as dark boots. Her dyed red hair was tied up in a tight bun, and no matter how hard she tried to disguise her swollen face, red from crying with makeup, it was still obvious to anyone paying a little more attention. Joshua appeared in the doorway, wearing dark soci
Emanuele could neither sleep nor eat properly in the days that followed.All the girl could do, and at the massive insistence of Joshua who took care of her whenever he could, was to take a few naps and, very begrudgingly, put food in her stomach. He always tried to be as close as possible, even though he needed to work.With the insurance money, Joshua was able to recover almost nothing from the old apartment, so he opted to buy new furniture and decorate Alexandra's apartment, or rather his apartment. Doing this, however, seemed pointless and even disrespectful, since the present moment was one of mourning, not of celebration.When the man apologized for his attitude, Emanuele just shrugged and continued to stare at some fixed point on the wall.They did not sleep together. Each stayed in his own room most of the time. Joshua tried to get close to her physically, but he was content to give her a respectful cuddle and caress to comfort her. It was not the time for them to get close l