Chapter 3: The Night Before The Wedding

Alexa ushers her to her room after dinner. What touches her heart is when she noticed her room hadn't changed a bit. It's like she hasn't left the room for eight long years. Her paintings, closet, books and left sketch pads, the bed, and even her favorite floral bed sheet and blanket. Everything was exactly the same arrangement as she left before. While scanning her room, floods of memories came rushing through her mind from her childhood to her teenage days. How her Mom used to tuck her in at night before bedtime, how Alexa sneaked into her room in the middle of the night every time she had bad dreams then steal her bed and how she hide in her room and paint on her verandah every time she was sad especially at times she got scolded by her Dad. 

"I'm glad nothing's changed in my room." She told Alexa.

"Mom always sees to it that your room was always clean. She never stops hoping you will come back soon. I hope you came home for good now." Her sister told her that warmed her heart.

"As I've told Dad, I'll leave and come back to France after your wedding. I was actually planning to stay for at least a month but with Dad's treatment, I don't think I can stay longer." She heaves a long frustrated sigh thinking about her father's cold treatment earlier.

"I guess he was still upset. He expected you to help in running the business but you disappointed and failed him."

"You know I'm not like you, Alexa. I have my own dreams and passion and besides, running the business is not for me." She replied.

As soon her eyes went to her bed, bitter memories from the past suddenly jotted her mind by staring at the bed and pillows she used to cry on before. She remembers the last time she cried hard on the same bed is when she got her heart broken by Kyle and was betrayed by her twin sister at the same time. She runs to her sister's room to cry on her shoulder but ends up getting surprised because the man who broke her heart and the person whom she thought she can cry on were making out and have been hiding their relationship from her for months. She confronted Alexa and they fought. That was the biggest fight they had had in history. Their parents were not at home at that time because they attended a party. Although Kyle and Alexa both apologized to her and explained their part, fact remains that they hurt and betrayed her. She decided to keep from their parents what she saw in her sister's room.  She may be upset about her sister's betrayal but she can't taint Alexa's good image to their parents just to get revenge on her. She kept her silence but that betrayal created a big gap in their relationship. When a big opportunity came in and she was offered a full scholarship in France, she immediately grabbed it not just only to pursue her dream but to forget and move on too. Her father shows opposition to her plan and threatened to cut his support but that never intimidates her. Her dream is the only thing she got that time so there's no way she will let that opportunity slip on her hand. She was glad she never made a wrong decision because she already had what she dreamt of but the consequence of that action is she lost her father's trust. 

"You know what Andra? I always admire your bravery and strength. You're strong and very independent, you fight what you want and do what makes you happy.  I wish I have that trait too." Alexa turned around and face the window as if she was trying to hide her expression on her. Honestly, it was hard for her to believe that those words are coming out from her sister's mouth.

"Come on, you are the best version of me, Alexa. You were very good at almost everything and I'm jealous because of that. We may look exactly alike in a physical way but you know I'm nothing in compare with you. That's maybe the reason why father always favored you all the time because you are the best, you are the smartest." She states full of resentment and bitterness.

It's true though. She had always felt that she was the poor imitation or weak version of Alexa so she tried hard to prove herself and make her own identity. It always hurt her when she is being compared with her sister knowing she can never win with her in the end. Although her sister is not aware of her insecurity, she managed to pretend she was okay because she knew jealousy and bitterness will not do her good.

"Truth is I was a coward. I can't fight for what I truly want especially when it comes to dealing with Dad's decision. You know I can't seem to fail the expectation of our parents. I just don't have the guts to oppose them, especially Dad. I'm jealous of you because you do what you want and follow what makes you happy without any regrets."

"You were completely wrong if you thought I do what I only want my dear sister. Yes, I follow what makes me happy but we can't take away the fact we can't have everything we want in this world. Sometimes, there are prices we have to pay to get what we want. We just have to be wiser enough to deal with the consequences and be brave enough to stand on the path we chose. I decided to choose that path not only because it will make me happy but because I'm also aware and ready with the consequences of my decisions." She saw the surprise on her sister's face but chose to keep her silence because she knew she was right. Perhaps she got embarrassed for what she thought about her.

"It's like how you decided to marry and spend your lifetime with this man you chose. You chose him because you want to grow old with him and because you can see your future in him right? Marriage is a lifetime commitment and devotion. It is a promise to keep no matter what. I can only hope you made the right decision and I'll be rooting for your happiness always." She stated true to herself.  The one thing she wonders is when Alexa's eyes turned sad and elusive as if she was avoiding meeting her eyes.

"Do I know your husband to be?" She couldn't help to ask.

"I don't think you haven't met him before. But his family is close to ours."

"You must love him so much for you to marry him and leave Kyle?"

To her curiosity, it seems Alexa didn't pay attention to what she said. Her eyes were on the window and it seems she was in deep thoughts. She knew Alexa is becoming agitated and silent when somethings weighing on her mind. Something is wrong with her and that is the thing she wanted to know.

"Hey, Alex! Are you with me?" She calls out to take her attention.

"What did you say again?" Her sister asked looking confused.

"You seem not yourself. Are you having pre-wedding jitters?"

"Just got tired with the preparation of the wedding," Alexa replied not looking into her eyes. Another lie, she thought. Her sister is not a good liar because she can't look straight into her eyes. 

"I met Kyle in Paris." She decided to tell her after a while.

She saw her sister's eyes widen in surprise and she swear she saw the pain and fear that crossed her eyes for a moment. Truth is she has suspicions in mind based on her actions but just doesn't want to entertain it because she wanna make sure first.

"I met him in a bar in Paris two weeks ago and he looked in a total mess. Would you believe me he even mistook me from you?" She made it sound like a joke but deep inside her, she wanted to make her sister feel guilty.

"I hope he didn't do something stupid." Alexa agitatedly replied.

"He looked so miserable and devastated because you're getting married." She added. Alexa then went silent and never bother to answer her. That bugged her. 

"If I knew you will only hurt him, I shouldn't let him go and gave up that easily. I did not give way for you to just hurt and leave  him like that." She bitterly confronted.

She don't wanna show her anger and resentment but she couldn't help to. She almost got everything even Kyle which is the only thing she got before. How can she manage to just throw away their relationship and marry another man? This is the first time they will talk about the past and she knew she needed this closure as well. She doesn't intend to upset her sister on the night before her wedding day but she just needed the truth from her.

"May I know why did you break up?"

"Dad doesn't like him. He said a struggling artist like him can't even feed a family."

"Just like that? Just because Dad said so?"

"Things got complicated and we have a lot of differences too. He became possessive and overprotective that tend to suffocate me. He always gets jealous with every man I encounter with."

"Did he have the means to be jealous?" She was well aware even before that her sister was accommodating and very friendly to boys. Kyle won't act like that if he has no basis. To her surprise, Alexa went silent again and didn't make any reply. That's when she felt guilty and suddenly realized that maybe she is meddling too much. She realized it's not for her to judge since she didn't witness what happened. She then heaved a long sigh and held her sister's hand.

"I may be being resentful about what happened in the past but I'm happy you are getting married now. I wish  you nothing but the best as your sister." She stated true to her words. The one thing that shocked her is when she saw a tinge of sadness and pain cross in her sister's eyes then all of a sudden she wailed and immediately embraced her tightly.

"W-What's wrong?" She worriedly asked.  Based on her actions and the way she cry, her questions and suspicions were answered.

"You still love him." It is not a question, it is a statement that she was now sure of.

"Then why are you marrying another man?" She couldn't help to ask.

"It's a promise wedding, Andra."

"A what?" She shockingly stated not expecting this revelation.

"I'm sorry, Andra. I'm really sorry. Promise me you will still be my sister no matter what." Alexa cried in between pleads and sobs.

"What kind of question is that? Of course, you will always be my sister and what are you apologizing about?"

"Hope you'll find a way to forgive me soon..." Alexa said while sobbing that made her question her sister's actions.

To her surprise, Alexa then immediately wiped her tears using the back of her palm then run away leaving her confused and puzzled.

"Alexa, wait!" She tried to call her out but she didn't listen.

What is she apologizing about? If it's what happened before, that's nothing to her anymore. The reason she came home for her wedding means she has already forgiven her. But why does she feel there is something more deeper in her apology? She doesn't know but Alexa acted weird and bothersome. She suddenly felt worried after knowing her sister is marrying a man she doesn't love. She has to talk to her parents about it, she thought. But can she do something knowing tomorrow is her sister's wedding day?