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Chapter 08
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I get home and everything is set up for some event - such as the event my mother made me promise to attend. Everything is luxurious, there are tables, chairs, a buffet where I'll probably finish eating. My mother is wearing a red dressing gown and her hair is tied up in a satin cap. She is shouting at the staff who are tidying things up and finally realizes that the three of us have arrived.
"What a delay! I was about to send someone after you, where were you?"
"We made a stop on the way," Devi says, taking the reins of the conversation. "Lanton needed to see someone, I told you this morning."
"Oh, that's right! Everything's a mess and I forgot. All right, go upstairs and get ready, okay? The guests will start arriving in two hours. Come on, come on!"
Lanton and Devi leave ahead and I continue to stare at my mother as I walk to the stairs. It's just over two months since she married Daud, but she's already completely given herself over to the role of a ma
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I understand why Lanton hates this ridiculous gathering. They drink, smile, listen to the band play outside, besides, there are a lot of people there and I'm absolutely sure that not everyone who is here was close to the so called godfather of Lanton. Nobody knows that many people and even if they do, nobody is close to that many people.My mother walks by Daud's side smiling everywhere and loving being introduced as his wife - although it looks much more like he's displaying it as his trophy. It doesn't look like a tribute party, but some kind of weird celebration. There's a picture of Lanton's godfather at the top of the stairs that he looks up to eventually.There are two speeches. One made by Daud, the other by Lanton. One emphasizes Hector's great achievements, the other emphasizes what an amazing human being he was. In neither I feel a good truth, because if Hector was Lanton's godfather and a good friend of Daud, it means he was also part of this dirty underworld that is the ma
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I swallow dryly. No, that's not what I want. In fact, it's the last thing I want, to be recognised with Lanton's ex-boyfriend picking him up from school after class. I seemed so happy then, surely I must seem like a bitter one now. Looks like Lanton is going to mess it up again."I need a drink," I say, turning my back and heading towards a makeshift bar nearby, Haris goes right behind me and holds my hand."No need to be nervous, okay? I understand now.""You understand?""Yeah, like, it would be weird you two dating while your parents are married. I understand why you're not together anymore. And I understand now why he hasn't stopped taking his eyes off us since we got here.""What?" is Lanton here yet? I turn around automatically, but Haris pulls my face away."He still likes you, doesn't he?" He concludes on his own. Well, it's not that hard to come to that conclusion once you understand much of the story. "That's why he constantly gets after you at school.""He's just very pushy
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"Are you back?"Lanton asks as I walk back to the beach. His friends are surrounding him and I just step between them and duck down, staring at a completely finished Lanton standing there. He's splayed out on the sand, sitting up and has buried his face in his hands."Yeah, I came to take you home," I say, ducking down beside him. "And I only came because Haris agreed to it."Lanton takes a deep breath, but doesn't look at me."You can't keep doing that. Going out hitting people like that, that's not you," I keep saying; he looks really embarrassed."I'm sorry."I roll my eyes and stand up, making the boy stand up with me. Two girls from his group offer to help me carry him to the car, but with just a single glance, they quickly shut up and back off. I will not let two turkeys get into that car that is waiting for us near there, on the avenue. With great difficulty, I manage to carry Lanton along the beach and make him climb the stairs, the smell of alcohol is very strong, but still I
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But he doesn't stop. Obvious. And a big part of me wants him to continue, because a big part of me misses him so much. Very much so. I turn around slowly and I can already smell the strong scent of drink, but I can still smell the perfume so strongly. I look down, because I feel too ashamed to look up, to look into his eyes, because I know I'll completely surrender and all the months I've tried to distance myself from him and treat him in the worst possible way will be in vain."Look at me," he says. "Look at me, Lukman. I am totally yours.""I can't." I say. "I can't touch you and I don't want to, you should leave.""I'm not leaving until you finally look at me," he whispers, bringing his hand to my cheek. "Please..."Lanton kisses me lightly on the neck, giving me more and more goosebumps. I'm still unable to look into his eyes even now, my heart is racing and I don't know how much longer I can bear it, his presence is too intense and I loved letting myself be taken by him in every
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Devi takes me to her room, lets me sit on her bed and leaves the room, returning some time later with a glass of water. I am already calm when she enters the room, but I still gladly accept the water. She doesn't ask anything, just looks at me, but I don't feel pressured at any point. After a while, she just lets out:"I figured your aversion to Lanton was because of his family. You don't really hate him, do you? I could tell right away."I don't look at her, but through the window, which was open; Devi probably wasn't asleep when she heard me making a fuss in the hallway, luckily she found me before anyone else or I wouldn't know how to explain what had left me in that deplorable state."I love him," I reveal to Devi, who nods and looks down. "But I can't let my mother get involved in that dangerous world, Devi. Everyone knows how your mother died here, in a cruel and inhuman way. I don't want the same fate for her. My mother made terrible choices in life, like running away from home
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I am tying the shoelace of my shoe as I try to think about how I should approach Daud months after making it clear almost every day that I had no interest in approaching him at all, on the pretext of gaining some trust. Devi told me how I should start by acting, so that I wouldn't look weird, awkward or any word that would refer to that."I have no idea how to do that, to be honest," I tell myself as I look at my reflection. The worst part of all of this is that I will have to deal with Lanton a lot more now than ever before.Just thinking about what happened last Saturday makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. It just means I'll have to treat him with some respect? Maybe I'll even have to smile at him, which will be a nuisance. As a matter of fact, Lanton left the house on Sunday morning and by the time I went to bed at night, he still hadn't arrived.I didn't worry - or at least I tried to - but I admit that when I got to the car and saw Devi inside and no sign of Lant
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I had a class with Lanton today but I didn't see a shadow of him and I found out that this bothers me a lot. I can't concentrate properly in class because it bothers me that he just decided suddenly that he's not going to be after me like he always was. What happened to the speech that he would always love me? Was it false? Did he decide that he's not going to love me anymore or did it really happen?I know better than anyone that this feeling doesn't happen overnight, so I also know that his feelings didn't change from Saturday to Sunday, because it's impossible to happen. Now it's up to me to find out why he decided to avoid me just when I really need to get along with him.I manage to escape from the lab class by hiding in the bathroom that is right in front of the library door. As soon as the librarian leaves, I go in, looking for her among the several corridors of shelves there. And it's a really big place, with two floors and Devi is on the last one, leaning against the wall, wi
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I didn't see Lanton today. Did I mention it bothers me too much? I didn't, right? Yeah, it bothers me. I've been looking for him all day, and I found people who said that yes, he came to school today, but for some reason, I haven't seen a shadow of him. Haris also told me that he has already seen him today after the apology and that made me irritated for the rest of the day. Haris and I have lunch together and I let him get into this fantasy that we are now dating because I thought sneaking a few kisses would make me a little less thoughtful, but it was the opposite.While I kiss Haris in the empty music room. The end of the hour has hit and technically Devi should be waiting for me by now, but I decide to make her wait another ten minutes. Haris places me on a shelf and now I am feeling his tongue in my mouth. It's good, in general, I mean, he knows what he's doing, that's very obvious. But he's in a real hurry and it doesn't take long before he's lifting my shirt out of my trousers
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I am at home. I've been staring at a glass full of water on the kitchen counter for at least forty minutes. Lanton hasn't come home yet and I'm still thinking about how I ran away from Haris today when he tried to give me a treat. But I couldn't do anything when the image of my ex-boyfriend popped into my mind, or rather invaded my mind right at that most inopportune moment.I think I'm completely fucked now. I knew I would have trouble dealing with him, but it seems my feelings get stronger every day. In the end, I conclude that Lanton being away now might be good for both of us, since I have much more important things to think about. I read absolutely nothing of that stupid book because I believe that being in the middle will give me more knowledge. Dinner is already on the table and everyone is going downstairs for lunch; Devi comes with the phone in his hand and Mum goes towards Daud's office, knocking on the door and telling him that dinner is on the table.It's a daily ritual fo
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I didn't see Lanton today. Did I mention it bothers me too much? I didn't, right? Yeah, it bothers me. I've been looking for him all day, and I found people who said that yes, he came to school today, but for some reason, I haven't seen a shadow of him. Haris also told me that he has already seen him today after the apology and that made me irritated for the rest of the day. Haris and I have lunch together and I let him get into this fantasy that we are now dating because I thought sneaking a few kisses would make me a little less thoughtful, but it was the opposite.While I kiss Haris in the empty music room. The end of the hour has hit and technically Devi should be waiting for me by now, but I decide to make her wait another ten minutes. Haris places me on a shelf and now I am feeling his tongue in my mouth. It's good, in general, I mean, he knows what he's doing, that's very obvious. But he's in a real hurry and it doesn't take long before he's lifting my shirt out of my trousers
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I am tying the shoelace of my shoe as I try to think about how I should approach Daud months after making it clear almost every day that I had no interest in approaching him at all, on the pretext of gaining some trust. Devi told me how I should start by acting, so that I wouldn't look weird, awkward or any word that would refer to that."I have no idea how to do that, to be honest," I tell myself as I look at my reflection. The worst part of all of this is that I will have to deal with Lanton a lot more now than ever before.Just thinking about what happened last Saturday makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. It just means I'll have to treat him with some respect? Maybe I'll even have to smile at him, which will be a nuisance. As a matter of fact, Lanton left the house on Sunday morning and by the time I went to bed at night, he still hadn't arrived.I didn't worry - or at least I tried to - but I admit that when I got to the car and saw Devi inside and no sign of Lant
My Cursed Lestari (BxB) Chapter 13
Devi takes me to her room, lets me sit on her bed and leaves the room, returning some time later with a glass of water. I am already calm when she enters the room, but I still gladly accept the water. She doesn't ask anything, just looks at me, but I don't feel pressured at any point. After a while, she just lets out:"I figured your aversion to Lanton was because of his family. You don't really hate him, do you? I could tell right away."I don't look at her, but through the window, which was open; Devi probably wasn't asleep when she heard me making a fuss in the hallway, luckily she found me before anyone else or I wouldn't know how to explain what had left me in that deplorable state."I love him," I reveal to Devi, who nods and looks down. "But I can't let my mother get involved in that dangerous world, Devi. Everyone knows how your mother died here, in a cruel and inhuman way. I don't want the same fate for her. My mother made terrible choices in life, like running away from home
My Cursed Lestari (BxB) Chapter 12
But he doesn't stop. Obvious. And a big part of me wants him to continue, because a big part of me misses him so much. Very much so. I turn around slowly and I can already smell the strong scent of drink, but I can still smell the perfume so strongly. I look down, because I feel too ashamed to look up, to look into his eyes, because I know I'll completely surrender and all the months I've tried to distance myself from him and treat him in the worst possible way will be in vain."Look at me," he says. "Look at me, Lukman. I am totally yours.""I can't." I say. "I can't touch you and I don't want to, you should leave.""I'm not leaving until you finally look at me," he whispers, bringing his hand to my cheek. "Please..."Lanton kisses me lightly on the neck, giving me more and more goosebumps. I'm still unable to look into his eyes even now, my heart is racing and I don't know how much longer I can bear it, his presence is too intense and I loved letting myself be taken by him in every
My Cursed Lestari (BxB) Chapter 11
"Are you back?"Lanton asks as I walk back to the beach. His friends are surrounding him and I just step between them and duck down, staring at a completely finished Lanton standing there. He's splayed out on the sand, sitting up and has buried his face in his hands."Yeah, I came to take you home," I say, ducking down beside him. "And I only came because Haris agreed to it."Lanton takes a deep breath, but doesn't look at me."You can't keep doing that. Going out hitting people like that, that's not you," I keep saying; he looks really embarrassed."I'm sorry."I roll my eyes and stand up, making the boy stand up with me. Two girls from his group offer to help me carry him to the car, but with just a single glance, they quickly shut up and back off. I will not let two turkeys get into that car that is waiting for us near there, on the avenue. With great difficulty, I manage to carry Lanton along the beach and make him climb the stairs, the smell of alcohol is very strong, but still I
My Cursed Lestari (BxB) Chapter 10
I swallow dryly. No, that's not what I want. In fact, it's the last thing I want, to be recognised with Lanton's ex-boyfriend picking him up from school after class. I seemed so happy then, surely I must seem like a bitter one now. Looks like Lanton is going to mess it up again."I need a drink," I say, turning my back and heading towards a makeshift bar nearby, Haris goes right behind me and holds my hand."No need to be nervous, okay? I understand now.""You understand?""Yeah, like, it would be weird you two dating while your parents are married. I understand why you're not together anymore. And I understand now why he hasn't stopped taking his eyes off us since we got here.""What?" is Lanton here yet? I turn around automatically, but Haris pulls my face away."He still likes you, doesn't he?" He concludes on his own. Well, it's not that hard to come to that conclusion once you understand much of the story. "That's why he constantly gets after you at school.""He's just very pushy
My Cursed Lestari (BxB) Chapter 09
I understand why Lanton hates this ridiculous gathering. They drink, smile, listen to the band play outside, besides, there are a lot of people there and I'm absolutely sure that not everyone who is here was close to the so called godfather of Lanton. Nobody knows that many people and even if they do, nobody is close to that many people.My mother walks by Daud's side smiling everywhere and loving being introduced as his wife - although it looks much more like he's displaying it as his trophy. It doesn't look like a tribute party, but some kind of weird celebration. There's a picture of Lanton's godfather at the top of the stairs that he looks up to eventually.There are two speeches. One made by Daud, the other by Lanton. One emphasizes Hector's great achievements, the other emphasizes what an amazing human being he was. In neither I feel a good truth, because if Hector was Lanton's godfather and a good friend of Daud, it means he was also part of this dirty underworld that is the ma
