CHAPTER 6

Ash POV

I close my eyes tightly as I realize I have to ask for his help; either that or I will have to pick a chair by the kitchen table, I know I don’t have any energy for that. I take a deep breath as I summon the courage to ask him.

I am slightly ticked off that he isn’t offering to help me when it is pretty obvious I can’t reach the inside of the cupboard. I turn my head in his direction and I see him leaning on the refrigerator with his arms folded.

I pray for strength as I open my mouth. I clear my throat and say, “I need help getting the cereal out of the cupboard. I can’t reach it.”

He makes no attempt to move from the fridge but his eyes on me don't waver. I glare at him and sigh.

“Please,” I add.

He pushes himself from the refrigerator without a word. He doesn’t allow me to move out of the way, instead, he reaches over my head and pulls out the box. How he knows the exact one I want is a little baffling but that is not what I am thinking about right now. 

I am pissed that he did something so disrespectful. I know I am on the shorter side but he did not have to show off like that.

He drops the box on the counter and I say my thanks through closed lips. I grab the cereal and pick up a bowl and spoon as I head for the kitchen table. I take a seat before I realize I did not get milk from the refrigerator.

I frown and I stand to my feet when I see him open the fridge and close it. He walks toward me holding the milk. He drops it on the table and I drop back to my seat. 

I look at the jug of milk and then at him, “Thank you,” I mumble.

He doesn’t respond, just takes a seat on the other side of the table. He keeps his gaze on me and at this point, it is starting to get uncomfortable. I glare at him and pick up the jug of milk, I pour it into the bowl, and some spills onto the table.

I take out the cereal from the box and pour it into the bowl of milk. I stir it and take a spoonful toward my lip. I pause halfway to my mouth and return the spoon to the bowl.

“You don’t have to watch me eat,” I say stiffly.

He doesn’t respond, just walks away. He walks out of the kitchen and back to the living room before I can protest. I sigh, I did not expect him to leave, I just found his stare uncomfortable. 

I groan, I am truly giving villain behavior considering he is staying behind to protect me even after I said such a mean thing about his pack. I take a spoon out of the soggy cereals.

I sigh, I really need to join a pack but according to Conall and my brother, joining the Rogue Pack is similar to going rogue, the only difference is you have company. I don’t think I have it that bad to join a pack my brother doesn’t approve of.

I finish the cereal, I know it is not nearly enough but I do not have the appetite to eat more. This way I won’t sleep on an empty stomach. I wash the bowl and head to the living room.

I open my mouth to apologize for what I said in the kitchen but the look on his face chases me to the bedroom. I leave without saying a word. 

I close the door to the bedroom with a bang, I rest on the door and as an afterthought, I turn the lock. It echoes in my room. I cringe at the thought that he can hear it but I am not taking any chances. Just because he saved me did not mean he is a good person.

Besides, nobody went out of their way without ulterior motives. He saves me and now he is staying the night out of the goodness of his heart. Yeah right. He doesn’t look like the type that will attack helpless ladies but better safe than sorry.

I should have said no when he offered to stay but I know I would rather it be him than Tyler. I remember Tyler's hands on my skin and I feel my stomach churn. I need to take a shower.

I push myself off the door as I wonder if I should take my bath before or after I lay on the bed. I end up choosing to lay the bed before I take a bath. I open the wardrobe and sure enough, there are bed sheets I can choose from.

I select a flower pattern sheet, I move quickly as I am very tired. I just want to lie down and sleep, forget everything. I lay the bed haphazardly, I have no energy to make it properly.

I jump into the shower and let the cold water run down my body from the top of my head. I shiver as the water touches my body but I don't make any attempt to turn on the heater. I hope that if I get cold enough, I will stop feeling anything. I would rather be numb than have to face the sadness in my heart.

I stand in the shower until my legs begin to fail me and I have to hold the wall for support. Even then, I don't leave as the tears stream down my face, mixing with the water.

I grab my chest and squat, the cold water doesn't work. I can feel everything and it hurts. It hurts so bad. I stay in the position, sobbing until I can't cry anymore.

I slowly step out of the shower, dripping water everywhere. I take a towel and wipe myself clean. I walk out of the bathroom with the towel tied around my chest. My hair is still dripping water and I feel the drops on my shoulders and my back.

I know my eyes are puffy from crying and I can feel a headache coming on. I'll dress up and try to sleep, that should definitely help. I am a little thirsty but I don't want to have to leave the room.

As I walk to the edge of the bed, almost in the middle of the room, I realize I left my luggage outside the room. I swear. I don't want to go outside but everything I need is in the luggage and eventually, I will have to go out.

I touch my forehead and sigh. I slowly approach the door and turn the knob. I see my box immediately, it is a few feet away from the door. I look around but I can't see Caspian.

I don't think, I move quickly. I step out fully and there is still no sign of him. I make sure to check. I pull my luggage into the room and close the door in seconds.

I open it and I pick out my brother's hoodie. I slip into it and I pick a pair of shorts, I wear them and climb the bed. I pull the duvet over my head and close my eyes.

Memories of my brother rush into my head and sniff. I don't have any tears left to cry. Even if I want to, I know I won't be able to shed a single tear.

I can't sleep, so I hide in my memories wishing that things haven't changed, hoping that this is all a nasty dream that I will soon wake up from and last about it in the morning. 

I chuckle sadly as I realize I had this exact thought when I heard my brother was dead. I pinch myself but I am still under the duvet, still sad and alone.

A soft knock pulls me out of my thoughts. I throw the duvet off my face but I don't move out of bed just in case I am hearing things. 

I hear the knock again, it's still not loud as though he doesn't want to wake me if I am asleep. I get out of bed and walk to the door. My barefoot hit the floor and I wiggle my toes.

"Yes," I say but I don't make any attempt to unlock it.

"I brought you dinner," Caspian's voice says to me.

"What?" I ask but I am unlocking the door and turning the knob.

I open the door to see his tall figure holding a tray, the contents are covered so I can't see into the bowl but I can see the tall glass of juice. I can smell it though, there is egg and bacon in there. I feel my mouth water.

He stretches the tray toward me, "Here," he says with a bland expression.