INAYA -Why does Hamza treat his own family as if they are meaningless people and only consider them as an unnecessary nuisance?I thought about this question for a long time actually. Especially when I lived together with my in-laws, since Hamza wasn't only cold to them, he treated them akin they were really inexistent.I even once watched him quarreling with his sister Ines, to be precise, I watched Ines yelling and complaining nonstop to the silent and indifferent Hamza, this particular fight happened at the top of the stairs so this meant the matter was not so private and I could watch since I had the heart of a journalist, it was natural for me to shamelessly stand beside them and watch what was going on.I vaguely understood that the subject of their quarrel was that Ines promised a certain acquaintance of hers that Hamza will invest in his X production, this promise wasn't fulfilled of course, and apparently, Hamza refused in a rude way that brought shame to his sister.While s
INAYA -Hamza spoke for a long time, this treatment is of course very unlikely to be attributed to him, but yes, my husband spoke until I wondered whether he practiced this chat we were having endless times in his head.Because it seemed like that to me.He explained to me what happened in his family while listening I realized that indeed, money is the dirt of life.He said that back when he was 23 years old, which means when I was in my first year in college, his interest in business was growing enormously bigger, same as his interest in me.He was still in college at the time, working on his master's degree, however, instead of traveling the world and spending the glorious days of his youth doing something fun, this fun-hating husband of mine's greatest passion was the world of business even at that young age, consequently, he was impatient and he wanted to learn from the man he looked up to as soon as possible, he wanted to follow the steps of the best teacher in the country, his f
INAYA -I didn't expect Nana to call my father-in-law, I really didn't.The whole situation seemed as if I was a petty little girl in class who went to her teacher's desk to complain about a classmate teasing her, then the teacher called this wrongdoer to punish him for her! I seemed like the pettiest person on planet earth!I eyed Nana while feeling very displeased then said, "why did you ask them to come Nana? Wellah (I swear to god) war will break out in the house today thanks to you! It's my mistake for telling you in the first place!"She gave me a cold stare and then lectured me saying, "who are you to teach me how to act? As long as I live this family shall stay my responsibility, I'm the eldest and you should all obey me! I'm at the age where I should be praying to god and waiting fo r my hour to come but you still insist to send me to my grave with a burdened heart! Not one among you all is obedient... Etc"She spoke until I cursed the moment I decided to object to what she d
INAYA -The first time Hamza discovered my Phobia was probably when I was 15.As for the reason I'm saying "Probably", it is because he seemed genuinely surprised and clueless when he was witnessing me experiencing that particular panic attack, I never saw him having a similar clueless face ever again so I suppose that was truly his first time.I remember he just kept looking at me with both dumbfounded and scarred expressions, not understanding what I was going through in front of his watchful eyes.He was in his first year in college back then, and he came to visit Nana at the first chance he got after his exams, and to both my and Nana's surprise, Ines came along with him too!At the time, we understood the reason behind Hamza's repetitive visits to our house, it was because of his health condition: he had a strong respiratory allergy which seemed to subside when he changes the climate, namely by occasionally coming to our small town. So yes, Hamza had an obvious reason to come, bu
INAYA -Eating with the emotional post-traumatic Nana was the worst decision I made! Not for a single moment, she spared my poor nerves and ears from hearing how the hit on Ines's head could have been much more dangerous if it landed on her nose, her eyes, her mouth, or her temporal bone.When I logically asked her what the hell was this temporal bone she replied, "the doctor said it's the part of the skull around the ear area, it's very fragile, she could have had a concussion!"I bet the doctor was so idle that he explained the whole freaking human head anatomy to them! It is either this or that the poor him was actually forced to explain the human anatomy because Nana and my mother-in-law fought at the hospital and got him involved and stuck in the middle between them.She spoke for a very long time, and although I initially was hungry, I became full without eating much just hearing her exaggerated point of view, as for the reason I still kept her company against my heart's wish to
INAYA -During the following couple of days, the villa turned into a museum, literally.My mother-in-law informed the whole elite society in the country about Ines's "near death" experience, consequently, many decided to suddenly turn into very dutiful creatures, and they came to the villa to visit the survivor.In the beginning, many among them were sent back without setting one foot inside the villa, the guards at the exterior gate refused to let them in following Hamza's strict orders.But after refusing 11 extremely wealthy visitors in. ays, I came to realize that it was useless, disrespectful, and dangerous to refuse such mighty people! Hamza already had a ton of enemies so he didn't have to create new ones by doing such silly action.Having this strong motivation in my head, I found myself suggesting to him despite my heart's wish, "Hamza, I don't think it's proper to keep disrespectfully sending these people back from the gate, you're only creating problems that you really don'
She scoffed then daringly said, "Or what? Will you throw me in jail as well? Will you send me to exile as you did with Lydia? What else are you still ready to do for someone who doesn't care about you at all!"Her words were very poisonous, I didn't interrupt her because I felt it was useless trying to convince her with something she would never believe, I know it took me extremely long before I finally loved my husband but the feelings I have for him shall never waver nor change again.While she was speaking, I just wished Hamza's heart won't be affected by what she was saying.I didn't want to stay for longer and listen to such unnecessarily hurtful accusations, so I left the dining room and walked to the garden to have some fresh air.It was extremely hot weather outside, the moment I left the conditioned villa to enter the garden it was akin to walking inside an oven! There was no fresh air at all!But I needed to change the climate anyways.To my surprise, someone else shared my
INAYA -There's an old saying in my hometown that goes, "Ida tlem e- , rah tseb ennu" which literally means, "if clouds gather, the rain will fall."These of course aren't the smartest words that were passed from one generation to the following, nor the most original, nor even creative to begin with. It's just another way of saying, "if reasons accumulate, a problem must happen."I found this saying quite suitable for the situation at the villa during Ines's and Akrem's indefinite stay. The be precise, rain fell and thunder roared in the calm place the evening of the 6th day of their stay, right after we came back from Ines's recovery party.You see, those guests the guards sent back from the gates indeed went to show their displeasure at my mother-in-law's villa and expressed their wishes of attending the party she was supposedly going to hold to celebrate Ines's "survival".Since she had no other option, that old lady who always cared for her reputation decided to go along with Hamz
Ines Filladi always knew that she should never marry a man that she liked more than he liked her because her brother's failing marriage gave her the trauma of her life.There isn't a single person in the Filladi's close circle of acquaintances who failed to notice how infatuated Hamza is with his wife, whenever Inaya was in his surrounding, his eyes would always carefully watch her every little movement, if he was spotted spacing out while looking at something in the far distance, it was unnecessary to curiously follow his gaze and see what he was looking at since most certainly, a little sun-kissed woman with a long dark hair would be standing at that faraway spot.Since everyone could tell, and even those who poorly knew Hamza, how come Inaya still had no idea and acted indifferent toward him?? Ines found only one explanation for this: that Inaya truly had not a single emotion nor care for Hamza, therefore, he was only wasting his life on an undeserving woman.She remembers clearly
Hamza is still a man who is hard to read.For example, I thought he was totally ok with my father-in-law keeping Ayoub in his care, however, when our cars coming from the hospital finally reached the villa, he suddenly refused to let my father-in-law have Ayoub for a moment longer, like the very instant our car stopped he calmly walked out without even throwing any sort of remark to me, because usually, he would bossily give orders like, "Inaya, wait here." "Wait for me to come back." "Stay in the car".So yes, he just forgot about me, he walked out and directly headed towards his father's car, personally opened his father's seat door, held the baby in his arms, and as he was about to walk away he remembered to look back at the dumbfounded old man left behind and say, "thank you."What he probably meant was, "your time is up, now I'm taking my son back."While looking at him I initially thought the reason he so suddenly decided to make Mr buelguassem's face turn red with anger, is
Life is very unpredictable.For example, that night... my husband hugged me and I went to sleep.When I opened my eyes the next time, I found my husband still sleeping beside me and circling his arms around me, there was a little difference though. We were not in our room, we were on a hospital bed instead.There was an IV drip connected to my arm, looking on top of my head, I saw the saline bottle hanging on the stand.The first thought I had was that my baby was gone, but before I even started to panic, I felt the baby's movement in my belly so I breathed in relief, as long as he still moved it meant that everything was fine.I made a little movement as I checked on the baby, and that was enough to wake Hamza up...The moment he opened his eyes, he quickly uncircled his arms from around me and leaned on them to lift his torso and look at me.When he saw that I was wide awake and blinking my eyes in confusion while staring at him he didn't wait for the slightest moment before his lip
How does it feel to know that your son won't probably come to life?Let's just skip this part and more practically ask, What to do to cope with the fact you know your son won't probably come to life?1- at all costs, avoid looking at baby products...Because their sight will unnecessarily break your heart to pieces, and bring tears to your eyes, so if for example you were randomly watching TV and diaper ads suddenly jumped on the screen from nowhere then you have to immediately change the channel or turn the TV off, if you have your husband sitting with you then you can depend on him in catching the remote control in the speed of light and using it to make the ad disappear, because usually when such sad ads show up... Your pregnancy hormones act quicker than your reflexes and you might need the help of someone else because you'll be busy having your heart aching.I'm someone who is a TV addict, by TV addict I precisely mean that I don't necessarily like watching a certain category of
A day passed... Then two...A week... Then two...Months followed and my child still lived!I must say this child sure inherited all Hamza's genes and neglected mine, otherwise, how come when literally there was no hope left he still survived?I guarantee you, when I give birth to this little devil, he would come out silently, Then start inspecting his surrounding without crying, and would only gaze at the nurse coldly waiting for her to cover him with clothes, I suppose his father did the same thing as well.The child is a boy... If I should define his gender, a very stubborn and willful boy to be precise, for example when a second doctor was doing my ultrasound after reading my file and coming to know how terrible my condition always was, with a very surprised face she informed us, "the fetus is developing in the norms."When I smiled and thanked her for reassuring us, she repeated as if we didn't hear her the first time, "his growth is normal, he's normal in size, and there are no
Spending time at the hospital alone for the majority of the time was truly a chance for me to appreciate all I had.Of course, there were always nurses by my side and doctors... The family visited as well, even my mother-in-law put on her most elegant of clothes and jewelry and then came to visit me, since no outsider knew about my pregnancy the possibility of her coming to see me only to put a facade in front of her acquaintances was disqualified, in fact, by coming to see me she was, on the contrary creating trouble for herself if she were ever to be caught by someone she knew, yet she made all the effort only to stand at the top of my head and scald me, "Did you have to fight with your husband while being pregnant and send your self to the hospital? I understand your temper is very short but you have to be more patient now! If you two can't stay in the same room without quarreling then you should have occupied separate rooms! Etc."Even my father-in-law decided to put an end to his
When I first discovered I was pregnant for the second time, no matter what everyone said, I truly believed this was the miracle of my life.So one night when I was about to go to sleep, I looked at my husband who naturally was still working as if working like he had no tomorrow would win him a ticket to paradise.Anyways after scalding him and expressing how much I hated his habit of always preferring the sight of papers instead of enjoying his rest time with me, his highness was forced to turn off his laptop and come lie beside me on to the bed to accompany me to sleep.Being me, I quickly buried myself in his warmth while asking, "don't you think it's better this way? Being with me instead of restlessly working? There's no point in building an empire on earth if you'd neglect what should be treasured more than money.""I'm trying to solve a few matters beforehand because I will have to spend more time watching over you from now on." He explained calmly...Although his explanation co
Hamza developed a new habit, of being extra rude to people.This man is, with no exaggeration whatsoever, one of the least sociable of people I ever met, for example once when we visited a certain farm with his family, and we found a lot of guests there, it was only natural and awaited from us to blend in among the rest of the guests.Still, this very arrogant person only spoke with a limited list of people, and it was mainly to them that I was introduced, as for the rest of the guests who by the way were overly welcoming, they were facelessly ignored.At first, I thought Hamza is one of those people who treat others according to their class and money, which is indirectly offending to me because I'm not someone who was born in a castle, it was inevitable to think "what if this man didn't blindly fall for me, would I be belittled and ignored this way?".But as I walked more around in his company I finally realized the people he spoke with belonged to only 2 categories,1- his business
How was it like to be pregnant alone for the first time?1. I discovered I was pregnant around the seventh week.I was very busy with work around that time to care for myself, I only suspected I was pregnant because I was feeling tired and nauseous most of the time and it was happening for a hell much longer to just assume I was nauseous because I ate bad food, I took the test one morning, and when it came out positive, I had no idea what to do or what to think, so I called my husband who was then at work, much not to my surprise though, it was his secretary who answered and said he was at an important meeting.I remember taking the day off after much trouble, then going to consult the gynecologist alone, where I was informed not only about my pregnancy but also about my particular case.I went back home soon after, then spent the whole day just sitting alone and staring at space, I wasn't happy that I was pregnant at all, in fact, I spent a long time only blaming myself for not takin