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INAYA -What is it like to activate someone's "devil mode"?Nana's devil mode consists of throwing continuous and persistent threats of never forgiving me in this life nor in the afterlife, which actually worked amazingly for a very long time on me, for example, she used to order me around in the freezing winter yelling,"Inaya! Go wash the floor in front of the house... Do you want the neighbors to say that we're dirty just because you're too lazy to wash the dust and fallen leaves away!"When I remind her that it's too cold for me to survive if I went outside and that there were no leaves since the autumn is long over she would stand in front of me with a cold face and starts threatening,"wallah( I swear to god) I will never forgive you if you don't go now and clean that place! Wallah, I'll die of a burdened heart because of you and when we meet in front of Allah I shall not forgive you and I shall ask him to throw you in hell!"These words surprisingly turned me into a docile and
Although Hamza asked me not to wait for him, I still couldn't sleep that night... After a long time of tossing and staring at the ceiling and the empty spot on the bed beside me aimlessly, I decided to just turn on the Tv and watch anything until Hamza comes back.Honestly speaking, the reason for my sleep to run away that night was a humanly feeling that makes the one's heart beat faster and the one's lips turn upward, it is a feeling which is well portrayed in the songs of the white and black era where in the music video you can see your elegant young lady sitting beside the phone of the house and waiting for it to ring and sighing with a smile, while the male voice is singing in the background: "I miss you".That is exactly the situation I was living in, I was missing that husband of mine and excited for his soon return.I pushed every thought to the back of my mind, that is including Azziz as well, I kept only anticipating Hamza to open our room's door and walk in.By the time the
Ladies and gentlemen, it wasn't until this very moment that I remembered that the shameless me who was waiting for her husband to be back "passionately" was wearing sleepwear that unveiled much more than it covered. I realized that I was standing in front of the whole family looking so indecent, that Nana who sees the world as a blur without her glasses on and who couldn't even find the light switch earlier naturally couldn't see how "exposed" I was, and that Azziz forgot all about his fiancée and he was staring right at me in a way he shouldn't.You see, this is the problem about living in an expensive villa, even in the freezing January, the temperature was so warm inside that place so I didn't feel the cold air while being moved by my wifely emotions, If I was in the house in my hometown even if I was threatened with a knife I would remember to put on a coat first before running away to save my life.The bigger problem yet happened next, I felt extremely embarrassed with my looks t
INAYA -"I'm going to crush him," Hamza said coldly.He then stood up... Walked pass me, and started to undress to put on his housewares.After he finished doing that he looked at me again and added, "his work at the magazine is clean, only his subordinates __""Hamza!" I yelled, I looked at him coldly and said,"We haven't met for a month, and all you talk about is Azziz this Azziz that! Am I a wall to you? Am I air to you?"I'm a one-line thinker, I have already pointed that out before when I see my husband who I missed for a month I only think of my husband who I missed for a month!You see, if you exclude Azziz and his sudden appearance in my life again, you'll find that pretty much all I did for the last month was eat, sleep, work, and wait for Hamza to be back again...We had lost a long time already, I wanted us to be happy together, to fix us properly, to trust one another fully or at least to that extent when I walk indecent by accident in front of a strange man the first qu
INAYA - The next morning when my alarm started ringing at 7 am, I woke up to experience a zombie state in which my body was suffering from a severe lack of sleep and exhaustion, the scum in the cause who was sleeping beside me and who was awakened by my alarm as well asked,"Are you awake?""hmm... I'm very sleepy and tired though"He circled my waist with his arms to bring me closer to him and hug me under the quit.After a long time, He shamelessly remembered to comment,"in the future don't say words like 'i desire you so often, especially not in the morning when we have to go to work. We still need to lead a busy life outside of the bed."I stared at him And then I pinched his cheek so hard while he amusedly laughed.The room was faintly lit since at 7 am on a winter morning the sun hasn't yet fully lit the sky so I couldn't see him clearly, still, the sound of his genuinely happy laughter was like music to my heart, I stopped pinching him, and I started gently touching the conto
INAYA -The following days were not Happy.Well, let's just say that my in-laws were not pleased nor grateful that their future son-in-law namely Azziz Chouli was driven out of the magazine that he established with his blood, sweat, and tears."Assitant Magazine" was doing pretty well before Hamza put his hands on it, it was getting more popular among younger college students and started to get the attention of international readers, I naturally was not following on the written media field for a long time since my latest work before filladi co was at a radio station, So I didn't hear of the rising popularity of this newly established magazine until Azziz appeared in front of me. The aspiring project was going downhill so fast that by the time Azziz gets rid of the lawsuits following him by my husband he'll find no place to go back to... His magazine's glory will already be burned down to ashes.Speaking of the lawsuits against him, Hamza made sure that no capable lawyer in the country
Speaking of the ways he was informed about my boyfriend, I never thought I was cruel to him since at the time I had no idea he had feelings for me.He didn't know about my first boyfriend until Samir and I were already broken up, as for the way I told him about him, We were just sitting on the rooftop of the house in my hometown while having a chat he said,"I noticed a boy walking around the house frequently lately, he said his name is Samir"At that moment, we were eating hawthorns, I didn't know Hamza hated them, being the one-line thinker that I am all that was occupying my stingy head was that I started to regret sharing my delicious hawthorns with him and that I must eat all the big meaty fruits before he gets them.I bluntly said,"aah, he was my ex,"While grabbing the best-sized fruit in that bag and throwing it inside my mouth.It is indeed cruel when someone's heart was being broken... I only thought about hawthorns.As for Azziz, it was way worst, Like I told you before, I
INAYA -Despite all the chaos we were living through, A certain someone still remembered to ask,"Should we go consult a gynecologist?"The problem didn't lie within the question itself, but within the circumstances in which it was asked!You see, we were at the end of March, It is the time when my "cold in winter hot in summer" hometown finally decides to compensate its poor patient citizens with admirable weather, Namely the warm spring, as for the things I like about the springs of my hometown besides the nice sunny days, the green wheat fields and the flowing river never particularly carved my heart, I guess I'm not that nature interested person, my best spring thing is precisely the street carts which sell belliri ( Narcissus flowers) and hawthorns with average prices.I haven't been to my hometown for a very long time, So It was not appropriate to tell my husband that I want to go there because I crave the local hawthorns and the smell of belliri, and because I want to save mone
Ines Filladi always knew that she should never marry a man that she liked more than he liked her because her brother's failing marriage gave her the trauma of her life.There isn't a single person in the Filladi's close circle of acquaintances who failed to notice how infatuated Hamza is with his wife, whenever Inaya was in his surrounding, his eyes would always carefully watch her every little movement, if he was spotted spacing out while looking at something in the far distance, it was unnecessary to curiously follow his gaze and see what he was looking at since most certainly, a little sun-kissed woman with a long dark hair would be standing at that faraway spot.Since everyone could tell, and even those who poorly knew Hamza, how come Inaya still had no idea and acted indifferent toward him?? Ines found only one explanation for this: that Inaya truly had not a single emotion nor care for Hamza, therefore, he was only wasting his life on an undeserving woman.She remembers clearly
Hamza is still a man who is hard to read.For example, I thought he was totally ok with my father-in-law keeping Ayoub in his care, however, when our cars coming from the hospital finally reached the villa, he suddenly refused to let my father-in-law have Ayoub for a moment longer, like the very instant our car stopped he calmly walked out without even throwing any sort of remark to me, because usually, he would bossily give orders like, "Inaya, wait here." "Wait for me to come back." "Stay in the car".So yes, he just forgot about me, he walked out and directly headed towards his father's car, personally opened his father's seat door, held the baby in his arms, and as he was about to walk away he remembered to look back at the dumbfounded old man left behind and say, "thank you."What he probably meant was, "your time is up, now I'm taking my son back."While looking at him I initially thought the reason he so suddenly decided to make Mr buelguassem's face turn red with anger, is
Life is very unpredictable.For example, that night... my husband hugged me and I went to sleep.When I opened my eyes the next time, I found my husband still sleeping beside me and circling his arms around me, there was a little difference though. We were not in our room, we were on a hospital bed instead.There was an IV drip connected to my arm, looking on top of my head, I saw the saline bottle hanging on the stand.The first thought I had was that my baby was gone, but before I even started to panic, I felt the baby's movement in my belly so I breathed in relief, as long as he still moved it meant that everything was fine.I made a little movement as I checked on the baby, and that was enough to wake Hamza up...The moment he opened his eyes, he quickly uncircled his arms from around me and leaned on them to lift his torso and look at me.When he saw that I was wide awake and blinking my eyes in confusion while staring at him he didn't wait for the slightest moment before his lip
How does it feel to know that your son won't probably come to life?Let's just skip this part and more practically ask, What to do to cope with the fact you know your son won't probably come to life?1- at all costs, avoid looking at baby products...Because their sight will unnecessarily break your heart to pieces, and bring tears to your eyes, so if for example you were randomly watching TV and diaper ads suddenly jumped on the screen from nowhere then you have to immediately change the channel or turn the TV off, if you have your husband sitting with you then you can depend on him in catching the remote control in the speed of light and using it to make the ad disappear, because usually when such sad ads show up... Your pregnancy hormones act quicker than your reflexes and you might need the help of someone else because you'll be busy having your heart aching.I'm someone who is a TV addict, by TV addict I precisely mean that I don't necessarily like watching a certain category of
A day passed... Then two...A week... Then two...Months followed and my child still lived!I must say this child sure inherited all Hamza's genes and neglected mine, otherwise, how come when literally there was no hope left he still survived?I guarantee you, when I give birth to this little devil, he would come out silently, Then start inspecting his surrounding without crying, and would only gaze at the nurse coldly waiting for her to cover him with clothes, I suppose his father did the same thing as well.The child is a boy... If I should define his gender, a very stubborn and willful boy to be precise, for example when a second doctor was doing my ultrasound after reading my file and coming to know how terrible my condition always was, with a very surprised face she informed us, "the fetus is developing in the norms."When I smiled and thanked her for reassuring us, she repeated as if we didn't hear her the first time, "his growth is normal, he's normal in size, and there are no
Spending time at the hospital alone for the majority of the time was truly a chance for me to appreciate all I had.Of course, there were always nurses by my side and doctors... The family visited as well, even my mother-in-law put on her most elegant of clothes and jewelry and then came to visit me, since no outsider knew about my pregnancy the possibility of her coming to see me only to put a facade in front of her acquaintances was disqualified, in fact, by coming to see me she was, on the contrary creating trouble for herself if she were ever to be caught by someone she knew, yet she made all the effort only to stand at the top of my head and scald me, "Did you have to fight with your husband while being pregnant and send your self to the hospital? I understand your temper is very short but you have to be more patient now! If you two can't stay in the same room without quarreling then you should have occupied separate rooms! Etc."Even my father-in-law decided to put an end to his
When I first discovered I was pregnant for the second time, no matter what everyone said, I truly believed this was the miracle of my life.So one night when I was about to go to sleep, I looked at my husband who naturally was still working as if working like he had no tomorrow would win him a ticket to paradise.Anyways after scalding him and expressing how much I hated his habit of always preferring the sight of papers instead of enjoying his rest time with me, his highness was forced to turn off his laptop and come lie beside me on to the bed to accompany me to sleep.Being me, I quickly buried myself in his warmth while asking, "don't you think it's better this way? Being with me instead of restlessly working? There's no point in building an empire on earth if you'd neglect what should be treasured more than money.""I'm trying to solve a few matters beforehand because I will have to spend more time watching over you from now on." He explained calmly...Although his explanation co
Hamza developed a new habit, of being extra rude to people.This man is, with no exaggeration whatsoever, one of the least sociable of people I ever met, for example once when we visited a certain farm with his family, and we found a lot of guests there, it was only natural and awaited from us to blend in among the rest of the guests.Still, this very arrogant person only spoke with a limited list of people, and it was mainly to them that I was introduced, as for the rest of the guests who by the way were overly welcoming, they were facelessly ignored.At first, I thought Hamza is one of those people who treat others according to their class and money, which is indirectly offending to me because I'm not someone who was born in a castle, it was inevitable to think "what if this man didn't blindly fall for me, would I be belittled and ignored this way?".But as I walked more around in his company I finally realized the people he spoke with belonged to only 2 categories,1- his business
How was it like to be pregnant alone for the first time?1. I discovered I was pregnant around the seventh week.I was very busy with work around that time to care for myself, I only suspected I was pregnant because I was feeling tired and nauseous most of the time and it was happening for a hell much longer to just assume I was nauseous because I ate bad food, I took the test one morning, and when it came out positive, I had no idea what to do or what to think, so I called my husband who was then at work, much not to my surprise though, it was his secretary who answered and said he was at an important meeting.I remember taking the day off after much trouble, then going to consult the gynecologist alone, where I was informed not only about my pregnancy but also about my particular case.I went back home soon after, then spent the whole day just sitting alone and staring at space, I wasn't happy that I was pregnant at all, in fact, I spent a long time only blaming myself for not takin