Being pregnant again?I didn't even want to have hope in that...In fact, being the owner of my body, I didn't of course miss such detail like me "praying for a long time", which is something very predicted and familiar ever since I lost my child and had many complications afterward, to be precise, it's not even as long as his wishful mind is picturing, But how can Hamza with the so little of medical knowledge that he has to understand the condition I have without having a proper explanation from my behalf, and how can I possibly explain this sad part to him without making him feel guilty and blame himself all over again?While watching the excitement in his eyes which he struggled in vain to hide behind his calm and composed expression, I thought it was cruel of me to personally crush the little hope he had, so instead of saying, "Oh, I'm probably just late because it's a side effect of the medications I'm taking, or for another reason that is not related to pregnancy."I nervously r
When we finally reached the villa, I was so tired of crying my eyes out that it was Hamza who helped me change my clothes and wash up, once I put my head on the pillow, I immediately fell asleep.But you see, my sleep was rather light, so even when I felt absolutely exhausted I still woke up when Hamza suddenly opened the room's door a long time later and he left the room, I dazedly watched his fleeting silhouette then once he was out I lazily grabbed my phone from the nightstand to check what time it was.It was 01:07 am...I soon went back to sleep...I woke up again sometime later because I felt thirsty, I probably emptied all the water my poor body contained when I cried earlier, as I extended my hand in the dark to grab the bottle of water I made little noise, so I reflexively checked Hamza's side of the bed to see if the noise I made woke him up, to my surprise though, his spot was still empty.I immediately turned on the light and then checked the time on my phone again.This t
When I woke up the following morning, I found Hamza lying deep asleep beside me, remembering he probably spent the whole night awake I preferred not to wake him up.I made sure not to make any noise while I washed up and changed my clothes, then I carefully tiptoed on my way out of the room.But once I was out, I realized the situation was rather chaotic outside of our calm room.For example, the first servant I met immediately ran towards me the moment our eyes met and she said, "Good morning master lady! I hope you're doing better today, Miss Filladi is in her room now and she asked us to inform her once you are awake, should I do that now?"Another servant soon walked towards us both from the direction of the stairs, and right following her colleague she said:"Masterlady, Mrs. Filladi has been calling repeatedly and asking to speak urgently with either master Hamza or you, should we call her back?"I barely had time to listen to them both when a third servant who appeared out of t
How was it like to be pregnant alone for the first time?1. I discovered I was pregnant around the seventh week.I was very busy with work around that time to care for myself, I only suspected I was pregnant because I was feeling tired and nauseous most of the time and it was happening for a hell much longer to just assume I was nauseous because I ate bad food, I took the test one morning, and when it came out positive, I had no idea what to do or what to think, so I called my husband who was then at work, much not to my surprise though, it was his secretary who answered and said he was at an important meeting.I remember taking the day off after much trouble, then going to consult the gynecologist alone, where I was informed not only about my pregnancy but also about my particular case.I went back home soon after, then spent the whole day just sitting alone and staring at space, I wasn't happy that I was pregnant at all, in fact, I spent a long time only blaming myself for not takin
Hamza developed a new habit, of being extra rude to people.This man is, with no exaggeration whatsoever, one of the least sociable of people I ever met, for example once when we visited a certain farm with his family, and we found a lot of guests there, it was only natural and awaited from us to blend in among the rest of the guests.Still, this very arrogant person only spoke with a limited list of people, and it was mainly to them that I was introduced, as for the rest of the guests who by the way were overly welcoming, they were facelessly ignored.At first, I thought Hamza is one of those people who treat others according to their class and money, which is indirectly offending to me because I'm not someone who was born in a castle, it was inevitable to think "what if this man didn't blindly fall for me, would I be belittled and ignored this way?".But as I walked more around in his company I finally realized the people he spoke with belonged to only 2 categories,1- his business
When I first discovered I was pregnant for the second time, no matter what everyone said, I truly believed this was the miracle of my life.So one night when I was about to go to sleep, I looked at my husband who naturally was still working as if working like he had no tomorrow would win him a ticket to paradise.Anyways after scalding him and expressing how much I hated his habit of always preferring the sight of papers instead of enjoying his rest time with me, his highness was forced to turn off his laptop and come lie beside me on to the bed to accompany me to sleep.Being me, I quickly buried myself in his warmth while asking, "don't you think it's better this way? Being with me instead of restlessly working? There's no point in building an empire on earth if you'd neglect what should be treasured more than money.""I'm trying to solve a few matters beforehand because I will have to spend more time watching over you from now on." He explained calmly...Although his explanation co
Spending time at the hospital alone for the majority of the time was truly a chance for me to appreciate all I had.Of course, there were always nurses by my side and doctors... The family visited as well, even my mother-in-law put on her most elegant of clothes and jewelry and then came to visit me, since no outsider knew about my pregnancy the possibility of her coming to see me only to put a facade in front of her acquaintances was disqualified, in fact, by coming to see me she was, on the contrary creating trouble for herself if she were ever to be caught by someone she knew, yet she made all the effort only to stand at the top of my head and scald me, "Did you have to fight with your husband while being pregnant and send your self to the hospital? I understand your temper is very short but you have to be more patient now! If you two can't stay in the same room without quarreling then you should have occupied separate rooms! Etc."Even my father-in-law decided to put an end to his
A day passed... Then two...A week... Then two...Months followed and my child still lived!I must say this child sure inherited all Hamza's genes and neglected mine, otherwise, how come when literally there was no hope left he still survived?I guarantee you, when I give birth to this little devil, he would come out silently, Then start inspecting his surrounding without crying, and would only gaze at the nurse coldly waiting for her to cover him with clothes, I suppose his father did the same thing as well.The child is a boy... If I should define his gender, a very stubborn and willful boy to be precise, for example when a second doctor was doing my ultrasound after reading my file and coming to know how terrible my condition always was, with a very surprised face she informed us, "the fetus is developing in the norms."When I smiled and thanked her for reassuring us, she repeated as if we didn't hear her the first time, "his growth is normal, he's normal in size, and there are no
Ines Filladi always knew that she should never marry a man that she liked more than he liked her because her brother's failing marriage gave her the trauma of her life.There isn't a single person in the Filladi's close circle of acquaintances who failed to notice how infatuated Hamza is with his wife, whenever Inaya was in his surrounding, his eyes would always carefully watch her every little movement, if he was spotted spacing out while looking at something in the far distance, it was unnecessary to curiously follow his gaze and see what he was looking at since most certainly, a little sun-kissed woman with a long dark hair would be standing at that faraway spot.Since everyone could tell, and even those who poorly knew Hamza, how come Inaya still had no idea and acted indifferent toward him?? Ines found only one explanation for this: that Inaya truly had not a single emotion nor care for Hamza, therefore, he was only wasting his life on an undeserving woman.She remembers clearly
Hamza is still a man who is hard to read.For example, I thought he was totally ok with my father-in-law keeping Ayoub in his care, however, when our cars coming from the hospital finally reached the villa, he suddenly refused to let my father-in-law have Ayoub for a moment longer, like the very instant our car stopped he calmly walked out without even throwing any sort of remark to me, because usually, he would bossily give orders like, "Inaya, wait here." "Wait for me to come back." "Stay in the car".So yes, he just forgot about me, he walked out and directly headed towards his father's car, personally opened his father's seat door, held the baby in his arms, and as he was about to walk away he remembered to look back at the dumbfounded old man left behind and say, "thank you."What he probably meant was, "your time is up, now I'm taking my son back."While looking at him I initially thought the reason he so suddenly decided to make Mr buelguassem's face turn red with anger, is
Life is very unpredictable.For example, that night... my husband hugged me and I went to sleep.When I opened my eyes the next time, I found my husband still sleeping beside me and circling his arms around me, there was a little difference though. We were not in our room, we were on a hospital bed instead.There was an IV drip connected to my arm, looking on top of my head, I saw the saline bottle hanging on the stand.The first thought I had was that my baby was gone, but before I even started to panic, I felt the baby's movement in my belly so I breathed in relief, as long as he still moved it meant that everything was fine.I made a little movement as I checked on the baby, and that was enough to wake Hamza up...The moment he opened his eyes, he quickly uncircled his arms from around me and leaned on them to lift his torso and look at me.When he saw that I was wide awake and blinking my eyes in confusion while staring at him he didn't wait for the slightest moment before his lip
How does it feel to know that your son won't probably come to life?Let's just skip this part and more practically ask, What to do to cope with the fact you know your son won't probably come to life?1- at all costs, avoid looking at baby products...Because their sight will unnecessarily break your heart to pieces, and bring tears to your eyes, so if for example you were randomly watching TV and diaper ads suddenly jumped on the screen from nowhere then you have to immediately change the channel or turn the TV off, if you have your husband sitting with you then you can depend on him in catching the remote control in the speed of light and using it to make the ad disappear, because usually when such sad ads show up... Your pregnancy hormones act quicker than your reflexes and you might need the help of someone else because you'll be busy having your heart aching.I'm someone who is a TV addict, by TV addict I precisely mean that I don't necessarily like watching a certain category of
A day passed... Then two...A week... Then two...Months followed and my child still lived!I must say this child sure inherited all Hamza's genes and neglected mine, otherwise, how come when literally there was no hope left he still survived?I guarantee you, when I give birth to this little devil, he would come out silently, Then start inspecting his surrounding without crying, and would only gaze at the nurse coldly waiting for her to cover him with clothes, I suppose his father did the same thing as well.The child is a boy... If I should define his gender, a very stubborn and willful boy to be precise, for example when a second doctor was doing my ultrasound after reading my file and coming to know how terrible my condition always was, with a very surprised face she informed us, "the fetus is developing in the norms."When I smiled and thanked her for reassuring us, she repeated as if we didn't hear her the first time, "his growth is normal, he's normal in size, and there are no
Spending time at the hospital alone for the majority of the time was truly a chance for me to appreciate all I had.Of course, there were always nurses by my side and doctors... The family visited as well, even my mother-in-law put on her most elegant of clothes and jewelry and then came to visit me, since no outsider knew about my pregnancy the possibility of her coming to see me only to put a facade in front of her acquaintances was disqualified, in fact, by coming to see me she was, on the contrary creating trouble for herself if she were ever to be caught by someone she knew, yet she made all the effort only to stand at the top of my head and scald me, "Did you have to fight with your husband while being pregnant and send your self to the hospital? I understand your temper is very short but you have to be more patient now! If you two can't stay in the same room without quarreling then you should have occupied separate rooms! Etc."Even my father-in-law decided to put an end to his
When I first discovered I was pregnant for the second time, no matter what everyone said, I truly believed this was the miracle of my life.So one night when I was about to go to sleep, I looked at my husband who naturally was still working as if working like he had no tomorrow would win him a ticket to paradise.Anyways after scalding him and expressing how much I hated his habit of always preferring the sight of papers instead of enjoying his rest time with me, his highness was forced to turn off his laptop and come lie beside me on to the bed to accompany me to sleep.Being me, I quickly buried myself in his warmth while asking, "don't you think it's better this way? Being with me instead of restlessly working? There's no point in building an empire on earth if you'd neglect what should be treasured more than money.""I'm trying to solve a few matters beforehand because I will have to spend more time watching over you from now on." He explained calmly...Although his explanation co
Hamza developed a new habit, of being extra rude to people.This man is, with no exaggeration whatsoever, one of the least sociable of people I ever met, for example once when we visited a certain farm with his family, and we found a lot of guests there, it was only natural and awaited from us to blend in among the rest of the guests.Still, this very arrogant person only spoke with a limited list of people, and it was mainly to them that I was introduced, as for the rest of the guests who by the way were overly welcoming, they were facelessly ignored.At first, I thought Hamza is one of those people who treat others according to their class and money, which is indirectly offending to me because I'm not someone who was born in a castle, it was inevitable to think "what if this man didn't blindly fall for me, would I be belittled and ignored this way?".But as I walked more around in his company I finally realized the people he spoke with belonged to only 2 categories,1- his business
How was it like to be pregnant alone for the first time?1. I discovered I was pregnant around the seventh week.I was very busy with work around that time to care for myself, I only suspected I was pregnant because I was feeling tired and nauseous most of the time and it was happening for a hell much longer to just assume I was nauseous because I ate bad food, I took the test one morning, and when it came out positive, I had no idea what to do or what to think, so I called my husband who was then at work, much not to my surprise though, it was his secretary who answered and said he was at an important meeting.I remember taking the day off after much trouble, then going to consult the gynecologist alone, where I was informed not only about my pregnancy but also about my particular case.I went back home soon after, then spent the whole day just sitting alone and staring at space, I wasn't happy that I was pregnant at all, in fact, I spent a long time only blaming myself for not takin