MILES TRIGGER WARNING: Anxiety, Panic Attack, Abuse When I returned home, the sky had darkened into that deep indigo just before true nightfall, and my body was exhausted. Kenzie had dragged me all over town, determined to make me feel something for my birthday. She took me to every shop that caught my eye, bought every book my fingers lingered on for more than three seconds, and forced me to eat so much cake I thought I’d be sick. I should have felt full. Instead, the weight in my stomach was leaden, making my every step feel sluggish as I climbed the stairs to my room. Kenzie had been so proud of herself. "You're not the boss of me, Miles Valentine. I'll spend my hard-earned money how I like, thank you very much," she huffed when I tried to protest. I let her. I didn't have the heart to tell her that gifts wouldn't fix the pit inside me. I made it to my room, nudging the door open with my foot, my arms full of the bags she showered me with. A small part of me clung to the th
DOM I was just about to turn in for the night when I heard a knock on my door. I sighed, dragging myself out of bed, wincing as my muscles protested. Practice had been brutal, my body sore and heavy like a goddamn lead weight. I had just gotten comfortable, and now someone was banging on my door like their life depended on it. What the hell? The knocking turned into pounding. I swore under my breath and yanked open the door, ready to chew out whoever it was— But then Miles rushed past me. What the fuck? My hand stayed frozen on the doorknob, my mouth open with whatever insult I had ready, but the second I turned, my words died in my throat. Something was wrong. She was still in that damn sundress. The soft yellow fabric hugged her curves, the tie straps slipping slightly off her shoulders as she moved. But the girl in front of me wasn’t the teasing, sharp-mouthed Miles from dinner. Her eyes were wild, pupils blown so big they swallowed the silver in them. Her breathing was e
DOM "Are you trying to?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Her question caught me off guard, and the small flicker of light in her gorgeous eyes sent something sharp and fluttering through my chest. I clenched my jaw. "No," I lied. I wasn’t trying to. Not really. It wasn’t like I cared or anything. Anyone would help if a person was struggling, right? It was just common decency. Except the way she looked at me now—something shifting behind those stormy lavender eyes, something I couldn't quite name—it felt like she saw straight through the bullshit I was trying to feed myself. A beautiful coral blush spread from her shoulders up her neck, dusting her cheeks as she looked away and bit her lip. The sight of it was too much. I felt my fingers twitch with the need to do something. Fuck. Fuck, she was beautiful. Why was I still holding onto her? She was fine now. I needed to let her go. "You should have just ignored me then," she muttered, avoiding my eyes.
MILES Dominic Black was full of shit again. It had made me squirm, the way Dominic's golden eyes darkened and raked over me as I sat kneeled in front of him. I could see it happening in his eyes. Every delicious, forbidden promise he was making to me. To my body. I wanted him to do it, to just pull me up from the floor and make me forget what a broken human being I was. I was one minute away from taking control of the situation, from taking hold of the large bulge in his sweats, but the way he had paced after kissing me like he had made the biggest mistake of his life made me hesitate. But I could see it. The absolute power I could have put over him. It wouldn't have taken much from me to make him break. I knew it because I felt the same way. I just wasn't fighting it like he was. That secret thrill of what being with him would destroy made me buzz. I should have done something. I should have grabbed his shirt and pulled him down to me. Should have dragged my lips along h
WARNING: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT MILES "Miles," a voice whispered, deep and husky, tinged with the unmistakable scent of liquor. I furrowed my brows and took a deep, sleepy breath, hovering between dreams and consciousness. "I shouldn't be in here," he murmured, his breath fanning against my ear, warm, heady. "I shouldn't want you..." A hot, heavy hand gripped my knee, sliding past my thigh, his thumb dipping beneath the fabric of my shorts. "...but I just can't help myself." Then I felt him. His solid chest pressed against my back, his strong thigh slotting between mine. His scent wrapped around me—sandalwood and something darker, something forbidden. Dominic. He was in my bed. Excitement coiled deep in my belly. I should have woken up. I should have gasped, turned to face him, asked him what the hell he was doing. But I didn’t. I wanted to know just how far he would go. How much restraint he had left. Or if he had any at all. So I stirred, arching into him in encouragem
MILES I woke up drenched in sweat, my breath coming in sharp gasps. Sitting up, I pressed my hands to my face, trying to shake the lingering tendrils of my nightmare. But something felt off. My body was thrumming, my skin overly warm. I squeezed my legs together, remembering the way his hands had been on me—Dominic, in my bed, whispering filth in my ear, his fingers— No. I shuddered, forcing the images out of my mind. It was just a dream. Except… I swallowed hard, my pulse still frantic in my throat. It felt too real. The weight of his body, the rough desperation in his voice. The way my name had sounded when he groaned it. But it had to be a dream. Right? I gripped my head, digging my fingers into my scalp. Get a grip. I had bigger things to worry about than some overactive imagination. The nightmares were back. The same ones that plagued me whenever I got too comfortable. Just when I thought I could breathe, I’d dream of drowning in black ink, of being consumed. But this t
MILES The clock on my nightstand read 4 a.m. I went ahead and dragged myself out of bed. It would be no use trying to fall back asleep. Today was Monday, which meant it was the first day of university, and I'd be riding with Dom. I had stayed out of his sight the rest of last week, my mother's too, using the excuse of having a stomach bug. I was able to avoid dinner as well. Maverick himself brought up soups for stomach aches. "You should still eat," he'd tell me. "Give your body the strength it needs to fight the sickness." His kindness still threw me off. I didn't know how to react but to give him small, unsure smiles and little "thank you's." It was starting to give me a guilty conscience about fucking his son. And then kissing him. And then having sex dreams about him. I didn't want a guilty conscience about any of it. While I waited for my shower to warm, I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit. My skin was paler than it had ever been, my lips cracked, and t
DOM I didn’t know how to process her behavior this morning. She hadn’t spoken to me. Hell, she hadn’t even looked at me. And I shouldn't have cared. Except, for some fucked-up reason, I did. I had been in her room. That much I was sure of. But I had been drunk, right? Maybe I drank myself stupid and snuck into her bed, touching her in ways that only half counted as consensual. I ran a hand down my face. Fuck. Something was seriously wrong with me. I almost took a hammer to my own hand for falling prey to my desires. But then—then—she told me she had dreamed of me. And the way she blushed, the way she bit her lip… Did she know? Had she been awake the entire time? I wanted to ask her, wanted to demand she tell me what she remembered, but she had holed herself up in her room the entire week. And I had let her, too much of a coward to face whatever the fuck was happening between us. I should feel guilty—and I did, kind of. I had treated her like shit after she had a panic attack
KENNY Miles acted like nothing had happened. Like she hadn’t unraveled in my arms. Like she hadn’t called my name with my hands on her skin, my mouth against her throat. Like she hadn’t begged me to make her feel something. And fine. I could play along. But I wasn’t stupid. The way her fingers hesitated sometimes when she reached for something. The way her gaze flickered, just for a second, when I got too close. The way her lips parted when I made her laugh, like she had almost forgotten she could. She hadn’t forgotten. I could tell my the way her cheeks would flush when my hand brushed hers. She was pretending. And I let her. I still made her coffee the way she liked it. I still teased her when she got flustered. I still called her Mimi, just to see the corner of her mouth twitch in that almost smile. She never pulled away. Never put space between us. But I knew where the line was. And I never crossed it. Until today. I was behind the counter at the diner, wipi
*WARNING EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT* KENNY "You can't take it from me," she whispered. Her voice curled around my ribs. Tangled in my lungs. "But you can give me something else." My throat bobbed. “Miles—” “Something to feel.” And there went my self-control. Miles barely had time to breathe before my hands were on her—gripping her waist, yanking her against me. My mouth crashed against hers, and she took it. Took everything I gave like she had been starving for it. A low moan hummed from her throat, vibrating against my lips, and fuck—I was already gone. I had wanted to kiss her for days. Wanted to feel her. Wanted to take away her pain. Her fingers slipped into my hair, nails scraping my scalp, pulling, tugging, making me groan into her mouth. “Kenny,” she breathed, and I felt it. Felt her heat. Her desperation. The way she arched into me like she wanted to climb inside me, crawl under my skin and stay there. I grabbed her thigh, hoisting it up, pressing my k
KENNY Her eyes were hauntingly beautiful. A storm in a purple sky. Lavenders on a cloudy day. Such beautiful damn eyes. If only they held a little bit of light in them. I remembered the first time she walked into the diner. It was late afternoon, the kind of heat that clung to your skin like a second layer. I thought she was a customer at first, so I grabbed a menu and made my way over, only for her to throw her hands up, a nice coral blush tinting her ears. “Oh, I don’t have any money,” she said, biting her lip. “I saw the help wanted sign and wanted to apply.” Her hair was windblown, strands sticking to her forehead from sweat, and she smelled like the sun… and honey. It wasn’t perfume—just her. Fresh, a little wild, like she had been running through an open field before stepping in. I should’ve said something. Anything. Instead, my brain short-circuited as I followed a single bead of sweat trailing down her freckled cheek, over the curve of her jaw, disappearing beneath the
MILESDominic met my stare with something unreadable in his golden eyes. Even as I pulled him closer, still, he held back."Scared?" I dared, knowing he liked a good challenge.But instead of that knowing smirk—the one with those delicious dimples—he inhaled through his nose and gently pulled my hand from his shirt. He stepped back until he was leaning on the nearby bookshelf.I had expected him to come stomping into the library like a storm barely leashed, dragging his rage with him. I had expected his sharp tongue, his impatient sighs, his suffocating protectiveness that had only gotten worse since I woke up in the hospital.What I hadn’t expected… was this.Silence.Now, he stood in front of me, hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket, jaw tight, eyes stormy. I had chosen the farthest, most secluded corner of the library to eat my lunch, but of course, he found me anyway.Of course, he did.I swallowed my last bite of an apple and leaned back against my chair, resting my good a
MILES Maybe I thought I would be prepared to return to university. Maybe I believed that after everything, walking these halls would be easy. I had decided to go despite myself, just to prove a point. That I wasn’t weak. But that weakness crawled out from the dirt I buried it in as soon as I entered my first class. I had spent the morning in the library, hidden in the quiet while Dom and Marcus were at practice. It was the first time in weeks I had been truly alone—no watchful eyes, no questions, no hovering hands. Just silence. Then, I left. And as soon as I walked—no, limped—into my first class, the whispers started. You would think the stares were because of the brace on my ankle, the sling keeping my shoulder in place. But no. It was because Dominic Black had his hand on my waist, his grip steady as he helped me to my seat. "Who the hell is she?" Someone whispered. "Why does she seem so close to three of the hottest guys in school?" "She’s probably fucking them." "No,
DOM I felt like a fucking puppy. Following Miles around like gum on her ass. If she went to her room, I hung out in the hall. If she went to the library, that’s where you’d find me. And now? Now, I was leaning against the wall outside her bedroom door at four in the damn morning on a Monday. Fucking ridiculous. She had insisted on going back to school. Much to my—and my father’s—dismay. “Miles,” I’d said, already knowing I was wasting my breath, “you don’t need to—” “I’ve rested long enough, Dominic.” I hadn’t even argued. Not really. Because fuck, it felt good to hear her say my name. She was here. She was breathing. She could have whatever she wanted. As long as she wanted. Even if it meant standing here, waiting for her stubborn ass to open the door— The lock clicked, and Miles stepped out, limping. I let her get three steps before I reached behind me and revealed the wheelchair. She stopped. Looked at it. Then at me. Yeah, she was pissed. “Yeah, n
MILESThe first thing I noticed was how empty my arm felt.For weeks, the IV had been a part of me, a tether keeping me here. But now, as Nurse Hilda carefully slid it from my skin, I was free."You’re all set, sugar," she said, her warm hands smoothing over my arm, gentle in a way that made something tighten in my chest.I had gotten used to her voice—her presence. Hilda was the only reason my mother didn’t have more time alone with me. Every visit, every lingering moment where Candice might have tried to poke and prod at my weakness, Hilda would swoop in, checking vitals, fluffing pillows, telling long-winded stories about her family.And I had let her.Because I knew what she was doing.And I liked her for it.She smiled as she set aside the IV. "I sure will miss those gorgeous eyes of yours, sweetheart. You remind me of my brother, you know. He’s got dark hair too."I blinked.A strange pull tightened in my gut, something like a whisper of familiarity. "Oh?"Hilda’s grin was all s
MILESDid this happen to all survivors?Did they wake up feeling like a new person? Like they’d been reborn?I thought maybe I’d be disappointed.The surprise?I wasn’t disappointed at all.I was relieved.Opening my eyes, seeing everyone… it made me so relieved.At first, I didn’t know why. But then my mother hugged me.Tears streamed down her face like she was glad I had made it. Like she wouldn’t have known what to do without me.And maybe that much was true.But I wasn’t going to be her punching bag anymore. I wanted to be something else to her. Something much closer to her heart than she had ever allowed me to be.I was going to be her pain.I was going to be her suffering.But most of all…I was going to be her weakness.---"You fucking bitch!"Kenzie’s voice snapped through the air like a gunshot.She took a shuddering breath, setting down the cup of coffee that I guessed had been for me before she crossed the room, murder in her eyes."I want to fucking hate you right now," s
*WARNING METAPHORICAL DEATH OF SELF* VIOLENCE*MILESI was weightless.Calm.Still.And I think I loved it.I floated on something endless, something vast. No light, no dark. Just quiet. I was neither here nor there. No pain, no burden, no fear.I just... existed.And that was all I had ever wanted—to simply be.But the thought alone woke something inside me, something long tired of staying quiet.A sharp tug behind my navel knocked the breath from my lungs.I gasped—only to find I had no lungs, no air to take in, no body to feel the pull of gravity.Then—Pain.The sensation of falling hit me all at once, a rush of sound and wind slamming into me before I landed on my back in a green field. The impact sent a dull ache through my bones, a feeling so jarring after that endless nothingness that I barely registered the voice—"Fucking finally."I jolted upright.And I saw—Me.But not me.She was everything I wasn’t. Everything I had never been.Her long black hair cascaded down her back