Novels by River Audra

MILES Maybe I thought I would be prepared to return to university. Maybe I believed that after everything, walking these halls would be easy. I had decided to go despite myself, just to prove a point. That I wasn’t weak. But that weakness crawled out from the dirt I buried it in as soon as I entered my first class. I had spent the morning in the library, hidden in the quiet while Dom and Marcus were at practice. It was the first time in weeks I had been truly alone—no watchful eyes, no questions, no hovering hands. Just silence. Then, I left. And as soon as I walked—no, limped—into my first class, the whispers started. You would think the stares were because of the brace on my ankle, the sling keeping my shoulder in place. But no. It was because Dominic Black had his hand on my waist, his grip steady as he helped me to my seat. "Who the hell is she?" Someone whispered. "Why does she seem so close to three of the hottest guys in school?" "She’s probably fucking them." "No,

DOM I felt like a fucking puppy. Following Miles around like gum on her ass. If she went to her room, I hung out in the hall. If she went to the library, that’s where you’d find me. And now? Now, I was leaning against the wall outside her bedroom door at four in the damn morning on a Monday. Fucking ridiculous. She had insisted on going back to school. Much to my—and my father’s—dismay. “Miles,” I’d said, already knowing I was wasting my breath, “you don’t need to—” “I’ve rested long enough, Dominic.” I hadn’t even argued. Not really. Because fuck, it felt good to hear her say my name. She was here. She was breathing. She could have whatever she wanted. As long as she wanted. Even if it meant standing here, waiting for her stubborn ass to open the door— The lock clicked, and Miles stepped out, limping. I let her get three steps before I reached behind me and revealed the wheelchair. She stopped. Looked at it. Then at me. Yeah, she was pissed. “Yeah, n

MILESThe first thing I noticed was how empty my arm felt.For weeks, the IV had been a part of me, a tether keeping me here. But now, as Nurse Hilda carefully slid it from my skin, I was free."You’re all set, sugar," she said, her warm hands smoothing over my arm, gentle in a way that made something tighten in my chest.I had gotten used to her voice—her presence. Hilda was the only reason my mother didn’t have more time alone with me. Every visit, every lingering moment where Candice might have tried to poke and prod at my weakness, Hilda would swoop in, checking vitals, fluffing pillows, telling long-winded stories about her family.And I had let her.Because I knew what she was doing.And I liked her for it.She smiled as she set aside the IV. "I sure will miss those gorgeous eyes of yours, sweetheart. You remind me of my brother, you know. He’s got dark hair too."I blinked.A strange pull tightened in my gut, something like a whisper of familiarity. "Oh?"Hilda’s grin was all s

MILESDid this happen to all survivors?Did they wake up feeling like a new person? Like they’d been reborn?I thought maybe I’d be disappointed.The surprise?I wasn’t disappointed at all.I was relieved.Opening my eyes, seeing everyone… it made me so relieved.At first, I didn’t know why. But then my mother hugged me.Tears streamed down her face like she was glad I had made it. Like she wouldn’t have known what to do without me.And maybe that much was true.But I wasn’t going to be her punching bag anymore. I wanted to be something else to her. Something much closer to her heart than she had ever allowed me to be.I was going to be her pain.I was going to be her suffering.But most of all…I was going to be her weakness.---"You fucking bitch!"Kenzie’s voice snapped through the air like a gunshot.She took a shuddering breath, setting down the cup of coffee that I guessed had been for me before she crossed the room, murder in her eyes."I want to fucking hate you right now," s

*WARNING METAPHORICAL DEATH OF SELF* VIOLENCE*MILESI was weightless.Calm.Still.And I think I loved it.I floated on something endless, something vast. No light, no dark. Just quiet. I was neither here nor there. No pain, no burden, no fear.I just... existed.And that was all I had ever wanted—to simply be.But the thought alone woke something inside me, something long tired of staying quiet.A sharp tug behind my navel knocked the breath from my lungs.I gasped—only to find I had no lungs, no air to take in, no body to feel the pull of gravity.Then—Pain.The sensation of falling hit me all at once, a rush of sound and wind slamming into me before I landed on my back in a green field. The impact sent a dull ache through my bones, a feeling so jarring after that endless nothingness that I barely registered the voice—"Fucking finally."I jolted upright.And I saw—Me.But not me.She was everything I wasn’t. Everything I had never been.Her long black hair cascaded down her back

*WARNING MENTION OF SUICIDE* DOM "Oh my god... someone just jumped!" No. It wasn’t her. It couldn’t be her. A voice somewhere—distant, muffled—"A suicide?" I didn’t know who said it, but I didn’t fucking care. I was already moving. Running. Running toward her. Running to jump in after her. "Dom!" Hands grabbed me, pulling me back, and I nearly ripped them to shreds. Couldn’t they see? Couldn’t they fucking see? Miles was in the water. She was drowning. And I wasn’t there. I fought. I fought like hell. Marcus. I could hear his voice—his shouting—but it wasn’t reaching me. Because nothing was. Nothing except the weight in my chest. Crushing my ribs. Suffocating me. My legs shook and my mind spun. And for the first time in my life— I was fucking terrified. What if she didn’t make it out? What if this was it? What if I had to watch the ocean devour her? What if I never saw her again? What if I lost her? Fuck. I--I couldn't lose her. Marcus had to pin m