four

I woke up the next morning in a funk, and knew it was not going to be my day at all. I had come home last night and convinced my parents I was exhausted from the weekend, and immediately went up to my room to try and sleep. Of course, I had hardly slept at all, and my back was killing me from sitting up with my laptop most of the night.

I tried to Internet-stalk Tessa, after crying and pitying myself, but quickly realized I didn't even know her last name. There was no evidence of any relationship, or even knowledge of her existence on Danny's F******k, and she and Rhys weren't even friends. I slammed my laptop shut after an hour or two of digging, and tried to sleep it off, to no avail.

Tony had been sleeping soundly (at least one of us was) underneath the covers at my feet, and as soon as he sensed that I was awake, he ruffled the covers and tried to shake the comforter off himself. I took a moment to breathe before getting out of bed to get some breakfast and coffee. I was going to need liquid strength to get through this day, I didn't even know what I was going to say to Danny.

I'd managed to avoid him all night, even after he texted me asking if I wanted to grab donuts before school. I went offline on all social media, hoping he'd think I was sleeping, but he hardly checked it anyway. Unsure of what to say to him, I just ignored him all together, and spent my night spiraling into madness.

I had convinced myself that if I didn't talk to Danny, my life would continue as normal. I didn't know where to begin, if I were to even bring it up. Getting in his truck when he picked me up for school didn't seem like the most appropriate time, neither did lunch, or driving home after school. Truthfully, I didn't want to confirm anything that had been said last night. I was happy in my life with Danny, and I didn't know why the universe would have done something like this to us.

I pulled my phone off the charger, and realized Danny would be here in less than forty minutes to pick me up. I felt a lump forming in my throat again, and tried my best to surpress it so I could go downstairs and act normal in front of my parents.

Tony was running in circles, knowing breakfast was coming after he went potty. I let him out of my room, and he raced to the kitchen. I looked in the mirror and attempted to look a little better, so my mom didn't ask me if I was sick. I wiped at the dried eye crust from crying, and pulled my hair out of its bun. Walking down the stairs, I braced myself for her liveliness, and turned into the kitchen.

My dad was standing at the island with his back to me, and he was talking to my mom who was sitting at the dinette set by the back door. She was reading through a news article on her tablet, and her face lit up when she saw me walk in.

"Good morning, hon. Your dad made toast and eggs for you." She said, and my dad turned around to see me.

"Morning." I said to both of them, and hugged my dad. He handed me a plate that was already made up, and I set it down at the table across from my mom. Tony was still waiting patiently to go out, so I opened the back door and let him roam the fenced-in yard.

Monday mornings were one of the few times we got to eat breakfast together, because my dad didn't have to be at work until later in the morning. He always made breakfast, even if it was just a bowl of cereal with a chopped banana. I normally loved all of my time together with my parents, but today just felt forced.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" My mom quizzed, and I nodded my head instantly.

"Yeah, I just didn't sleep well." A half-truth.

"This is why you shouldn't have access to N*****x after ten. You never sleep right." My mom said, and I laughed quietly, a quick exhale through my nose. If only she knew what really had me up.

My parents continued their discussion from before I walked in; some mild banter about the upcoming election. My parents were active in politics and extremely liberally-minded, which was mostly the effect of my dad being a nurse and wanting universal healthcare. I never put too much thought into who I would vote for when I turned eighteen, but I also knew Danny's family was extremely conservative.

I thought about Tessa again, something I'd done more times than I could count last night. I hated that I couldn't get my mind off the thought of her and Danny together. Had they gone on dates together? Did they sleep together? Did Danny tell her he loved her? I was uneasy at the thought, and tried to eat my breakfast as quickly as I could. I wanted to go back up to my room and go back to sleep, hoping I'd wake up to all of this being nothing but a bad dream.

"I'm going to go get ready for school. Thanks for breakfast, Dad." I said abruptly, and stood up from the table to give my mom a quick peck on the forehead. I picked up my plate and let Tony in on my trek to the dishwasher.

"I'll let Danny in when he gets here." My dad said, and I grimaced as I put my plate in for the wash cycle. I was glad he couldn't see the look on my face. It wasn't abnormal for Danny to come in before school, my parents loved him. He normally sat down for a quick cup of coffee with my dad while I finished getting ready.

"Okay, thanks." I managed to say, and called for Tony to follow me as I headed back up to my room.

Once I was in the safety of my room, I closed my door behind me and almost instantly broke down. I didn't know how I was going to get through riding to school with Danny, or even get through this day. I grabbed my phone from my desk and drafted a text to Stacy, asking her if she'd meet me during our free period. I needed my best friend, I needed some good advice.

While I waited for her to respond, I picked an outfit out of my dresser and grabbed my towel. I'd already wasted fifteen minutes, I was going to have to get the fastest shower possible and put my hair in some sort of bun.

I thought about what Tessa asked me before I left yesterday, how she wanted me to hold off on talking to Danny. I still didn't know what I wanted to do, I just didn't want this to be real. Unfortunately, the more I thought about it, the more real it became.

If I asked Danny about Tessa, he would have to confirm or deny it. I knew, if it was true, my life would change. Was I really ready for that? For my relationship to end? I let out a quiet sob as I lathered my hair in shampoo. I let the steam of the hot shower run over my face, hoping my eyes would look less irritated once I used some cleanser.

I couldn't ask Danny, not yet. As much as it pained me to do what Tessa asked, I knew I wouldn't be able to have a rational conversation with him; I'd absolutely lose it.

I shut the water off, and wrung my hair out until it wasn't dripping. I stepped out of the shower and dried my body off, and let the sounds of my pop playlist fill the room. I needed something upbeat to hopefully get my mind onto something, anything else, and Lizzo would have to do the trick.

Once my blow dryer was off, and my frizzy hair was packed into a bun, I slid into my clothes. I heard Danny ring the doorbell, and my heart pounded in my chest. Act normal, Abby. I gripped onto the sink counter and worked through my anxiety, trying to steady my breathing. I looked at myself in the steamed-up mirror and hoped for the best. I dotted a little concealer under my eyes and put some mascara on my lashes, hoping to brighten my green eyes up.

I opened the bathroom door and came face to face with my mother, who was carrying a load of folded clothing into my room. I mumbled an apology after almost knocking into her, and opened my bedroom door for her.

"Abby, is everything alright?" My mom asked again once we were both in my room. "You seem off." She set the pile of clothing down on my desk, and opened a few of the drawers to my dresser.

"Trust me, Mom. I'm fine." I fibbed. "I've just got a little headache from my lack of sleep." She seemed to take that answer, while putting my t-shirts in their designated drawer. My mom was one of the most genuine people I'd ever met, and she was always doing things for others. I gave her an appreciative smile and grabbed my backpack from beside my desk. "I'm going to go down and see Danny. I love you."

I gripped onto the railing of the stairs to support myself as I walked down to the kitchen. I heard Danny and my dad's voices, discussing the upcoming playoffs, like any normal morning. I entered the kitchen and Danny beamed brightly when he saw me. I smiled warmly at him, or tried to, and felt my chest tighten. I needed water, or something to distract me.

Danny looked good, especially good today. He had on a maroon sweater that his mom had bought him for Christmas last year, with a pair of distressed jeans. Normally, when he wore sweaters, it was because he had a big day ahead of him, or an important interview with the local paper or someone from an admissions board.

I couldn't disregard that fact that seeing him dressed up made me want to be as close to him as intimately possible, but mentally, I didn't want to be anywhere near him. I was so scared I would fuck up and say something about Tessa today, I didn't want it to be real. I wanted to go back to last week, when I didn't have to think about him being with someone else.

"Hey, Abs." Danny greeted me. He took a sip from his travel mug, which I knew was filled with pre-workout. He had a weight-lifting session with some of his teammates first thing in the morning, it was his gym credit.

"Hi, babe." I said, attempting to not sound like I'd spent all night thinking about my boyfriend going down on another girl.

"Well, Mr. Reynolds, we'd better get going. It was nice chatting with you." Danny was always respectful with my parents, he never called them by their first names. I could tell my dad appreciated it, even though he always told him to call him Jake.

I grabbed a glass from the cupboard, to fill with filtered water. As I was filling my glass from the fridge, Danny scooped his arms around my waist and placed a kiss on my forehead. My body wanted to melt with the touch, and I leaned my head back to rest on his chest briefly. I wanted to stay just like this, wrap Danny up in my little bubble, so we didn't have to worry about anything else.

"You look handsome today." I turned around and ran a hand down his arm, feeling the soft fabric underneath my fingers. I quickly chugged my water, putting the glass in the sink. Danny followed me out of the kitchen, and grabbed my backpack off my shoulder.

"My mom dressed me today." He chuckled, and I imagined the sensible woman trying to swindle her son into wearing cashmere.

It was raining when Danny opened the door. I rolled my eyes and heaved my shoulders with an exhale. I absolutely hated rain, and I lived in one of the wettest places in the world. I snatched my raincoat off the hanger next to the door, and Danny slid into his. "It was dry five minutes ago." He laughed.

I was thankful he left his truck unlocked this morning, and hopped in to get away from rainfall. He started the ignition, and pulled off the curb. His hands slid into their usual place, his left on the wheel, his right on the cupholder to keep his drink steady. I instinctively placed my hand on top of his, and intertwined our fingers. I loved him, I loved every bit of him. Being in his truck with him, something so normal, so mundane, I knew I needed time to think of what I was going to say. Or, what would happen if he admitted the truth.

What even was the full truth? I only knew part of Tessa's story, I couldn't just go off her words. I'd known Danny half of my life, I had to let him tell me his side. But today wasn't the day.

*

Sixth period was the only time of day I got to see Stacy before practice. She'd texted me all throughout the day, and I told her I needed her advice. I was dreading walking into study hall and unleashing this news on her, because she was my best friend, and she never held back on me.

I sat in our normal seats in the cafeteria, waiting for the blonde to come strolling in mere seconds before the bell. She came from the other end of the building before this, and had tried to debate the school board several times to get extended breaks between classes. Of course, to no avail, but it didn't stop her from making a grand entrance to every class as the bell rang.

"So, what's the emergency?" Stacy plopped down excitedly next to me, putting her lollipop back in her mouth. She had an earbud in one ear, and it looked like she had just reapplied her cherry red Colourpop lipstick on her way here.

"McMahon, drop the pop." The study hall instructor, and JV cheer coach, cleared his throat from the front of the room. Stacy stood up, pulled a wrapper out of her skirt pocket, and wrapped the lollipop back up. She grinned as she threw it into her unzipped backpack. "Thank you, Stacy." Mr. Fritz rolled his eyes and he pulled out his attendance clipboard.

Stacy sat back down, and we both fell into a fit of semi-quiet laughter. "You're such a freak."

"You love me." She shrugged her shoulders and I shook my head.

"Always."

"Anyways, what's got you so bugged?" She asked me after a moment. I looked around the cafeteria to make sure Mr. Fritz wasn't paying attention to us, and pulled out a notebook for my next class, AP Us Goverment.

"It's about Danny." I said, and it was as if saying his name instantly made my heart race again. Just thinking about it, admitting it to someone made me afraid.

"Did he get you-?" She started about his promise ring, and I cut her off by holding a finger up.

"Stacy, he might be cheating on me."

In the time that I had known her, I had never seen Stacy get angry. When the words left my mouth, her jaw dropped and she froze. When I didn't say anything else, she put a hand over her mouth and her brow curled up in confusion.

"You're not joking." A statement, not a question. I hung my head and sighed. Stacy let out an audible "Oh." I nodded my head slightly, and sat back up. She had taken her earbud out and was turning off her Spotify playlist to pay full attention to me.

"When I went to Brew Brothers yesterday, it wasn't to study." I admitted. "Remember those texts I'd been getting about staying away from Danny, and this and that?" She didn't reply, but nodded her head, letting me continue. I quickly scanned the room to make sure no one was focused on us before talking again. "Anyway, I met up with Rhys. He brought a girl with him, and they were the people that have been texting me."

"Oh, my God." Stacy slipped out. "Rhys? Abby, Rhys wouldn't lie about his best friend."

"Which is why I think it's at least somewhat true." I told her about Tessa, her meeting with Danny, how he'd been supposedly sneaking around my back for the latter half of the year. "I just don't know what to believe anymore."

Stacy got a weird look on her face for a moment, and then she quickly pulled out her phone. She opened up F******k, and started a search. "What's her last name?"

"She's not on there, I already tried."

"Is this her?" Stacy flipped her phone over for me to see, and I felt my stomach drop. It was her, Tessa Oliver.

"How did you find her?" I asked, my head spinning. I'd spent hours scouring through the few dozen Tessas that lived anywhere in the county.

"She was friends with Rhys." Stacy shrugged her shoulders.

I thought about what Tessa said at the coffee shop, how Danny had blocked her, and my mind started racing. I pulled out my phone, dreading what I already knew to be true, and went through my settings. I laid my phone down in shock, and felt my blood go cold. I'd never blocked anyone in my life, but I had one account blocked in my settings.

Tessa Oliver.