Camille: “I…I…” I stammered, unsure of exactly what to say. Was I supposed to apologize for my status? “Are you a freaking virgin?” He asked me in a sharper tone this time, pulling every part of his body away from me. “I am…” I finally answered. “Shit,” he groaned before running his hand through his hair. “And you never seemed it fit to tell me before anything happened?” I studied his face which was a mix of anger, frustration and disappointment. I still didn’t understand why finding out I had never had sex would elicit such reaction from him. “I didn’t think it mattered,” I said. “You didn’t think it mattered? Seriously?” He snapped, standing up from where he had been kneeling to eat me out. “Tell me. What did you think was going to happen?” To be honest, I didn’t fully understand why he was making such a big deal about this. What did it matter if he was the first or not? I was tired of waiting to make it special. Since when did he make a distinction about who
Camille: “Daniel, just leave me alone,” I screamed before pulling away from the man who had grabbed me by my shoulder. I felt dumb. After my tactical escape, he had still managed to find me out here. It didn’t matter though. I wasn’t going down without a fight. I rolled my eyes as I walked away, waiting for him to apologize for what he had done to me. He rarely did, but recently, he had become more sensitive to my feelings. A part of me was hoping this would happen. A part of me had left the apartment, hoping he would come after me, but I was too proud to admit that. When the man pulled me back so roughly, I swear I heard my wrist crack. My eyes widened as I looked very well at him, realizing he wasn’t Daniel. This man was way bigger and scarier. I couldn’t make out his face in the dark, but all I saw was the faint glow coming from a stick in his mouth, a cigarette, and the stench I had assumed was coming from the alleyway, but was actually from this man. My heart started to po
Camille: Daniel held my hand all the way back through the tunnel. I didn’t breathe until I was back inside our apartment building. My entire body was shaking, as I imagined the several horrific things that crazy man in the alley could have done to me if Daniel hadn’t shown up when he did. Daniel let me go once we were in the elevator, but immediately started turning me around and checking for any signs of violence on my body. “Did he hurt you?” He asked with a voice that was a mix of tenderness and anger. “Not physically,” I answered, not trying to stop him when he raised my cheek slightly to check for any bruises on my neck. When he was sure I was in good condition, he finally let out a deep breath and relaxed against the wall. The rest of the ride went on in silence until we got to our floor. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He asked me when we got out. I stood awkwardly by his side with my head facing the floor and my hand holding my elbow as he unlocked the d
Camille: If it had been Daniel’s intention to make me speechless, he had succeeded. My knees immediately felt weak and my eyes were screwed shut. As if he hadn’t tormented me enough, he remained in the same position, his lips by my ear, but the rest of his body wasn’t touching any bit of mine. “Is that why you went on this little adventure?” He asked. “Did you run out because you knew I’d come after you?” I crossed my arms over my chest, with my closed eyes facing the floor, and tried to steady my breathing. I couldn’t walk away. He would simply pull me back and force me to listen to this speech of his. I didn’t know where he was going with this. At least he had moved on from talking about our little make out session… “I want to go to bed now,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around myself. Something about him by my side made me really self-conscious. Silence. I could imagine him watching me, but I couldn’t imagine the thoughts going on in his head while he did.
Camille: “You look so beautiful,” Reggie said when he saw me. I smiled as I slid into the seat in front of him, but it didn’t quite reach my eyes. I had just put on an old Jean dress that wasn’t even normally appropriate for a ‘date’, so I knew his compliment was just his way of buttering me up. “Thanks,” I said off-handedly, lifting the menu that was on the table and glancing through it. “So how have you been?” He asked. “Fine,” I replied without looking up. “Okay…” he muttered. At that time, the waiter got to our table and asked us if we had made a decision on what to eat. I gave him my order and so did Reggie. After he left, I dropped the menu and started to scroll through my phone. From the corner of my eye, I saw him fidget with his hands and look around, clearly unsettled by how uninterested I was acting around him. That had been my intention and I was glad it was taking place. “Look, I’m sorry,” he said finally, hitting the nail on the head. “I shouldn
Camille: As I walked home that evening, I kept asking myself the same question. ‘Why did I tell Reggie I liked him?’ I mean, I kind of did like him, but still, telling him outrightly that I did, and then taking his hands in mine had made me seem too desperate, which was far from what I was. I still remember the smile he had given me as he squeezed my hands back. It was an assured smile, like he was a hundred percent certain we were now a couple. I felt a chill run down my spine. Why exactly did I feel so weird? I didn’t want to say it, but I knew why. It wasn’t the countless excuses I had given myself about why I couldn’t go out with Reggie; like how awkward it would be to have to meet Miss Winston’s knowing glances each time I came to work and having to answer the questions I knew she would definitely ask about me going out with her son. It wasn’t because I wasn’t completely sure how I felt with him either. I mean, I had almost forgotten all about him after he
Camille: Eons seemed to pass since Lucia asked me that question. My eyelids fluttered as the meaning of her question settled on me, and slowly, a scowl resembling Daniel’s covered my face. “I’m not even going to dignify that stupid question of yours with a response,” I said quietly, with a voice that was laden with a lot of anger. I couldn’t believe she would just ask me if I was sleeping with Daniel. “Sorry, I just…” she mused, looking down. “I don’t know why I said that.” I relaxed a little. She had just been making a speculation. She didn’t know for sure that we had come really close. I switched off the cooking stove completely and led her to sit on the stool while I squatted next to her, making her feel I was no longer mad at her but really wanted to help. “What’s really going on with the two of you?” I asked her, deeply concerned. She stared at me for some moments without speaking, something she had started to do that pissed me off. “I really wish I coul
Camille: Breathe. Just breathe. Why did I always have to make things so obvious? Daniel could manage to appear stoic and in complete control of his emotions, constantly revealing his ability to change from really angry to playful at will, but here I was, standing like an open book with my mouth agape just because he was standing in front of me. I cleared my throat and crossed my arms over my chest, hoping I looked as unperturbed as he easily did. “You flatter yourself,” I mused. “I wasn’t talking to you.” That seemed to interest him. He took one more step forward; an exaggerated movement that brought him right in front of me. It took everything in me not to cower and step back. I could feel the warmth of his bare chest so close to me, and even though I kept my eyes glued to his gray ones, it was hard to concentrate because all I could breathe in was him. “Who were you talking to then? Alone in this kitchen with Lucia away in her room,” he muttered, squinting like
Camille: When I woke up with a splitting headache sometime later, I was more annoyed than relieved or confused. I had passed out three times in one month, something I had never experienced in my life before then. To make matters worse, the voices I had heard before the world went black were still the same arguing voices that welcomed me back to consciousness. “I told you we should take her to a freaking hospital!” Lucia snapped. It was as if at this point she couldn’t make a sentence addressed to her brother without it being filled with so much venom. “And I told you she has passed out like this in front of me before and I didn’t have to take her to a hospital,” Daniel quipped, his voice thankfully low. “When did that happen?” “A few weeks ago. When I had to spend the night with her,” he explained further. “She just had a panic attack because you wouldn’t just let her be.” “Me?!” Lucia asked. “She has never had a panic attack in three years of living with me, but somehow you sh
Camille: My food got stuck in my throat when the Tv went off. That only meant one thing. Daniel had heard her comment and was pissed off, and he would probably say something awful to her about it. “I’m so sorry I just had to watch Tv in your almighty house!” He snapped, getting up. I swallowed. Lucia didn’t even look his way. “What else do I do so you won’t regret helping my wretched self with accommodation? I know my presence irritates you so much. Maybe I should just walk into my room and never come out again. Just stop existing. Maybe that will make your highness happy finally. Although I doubt there’s anything that can ever make you happy.” Lucia dropped her fork. “What did you just say?” She asked, finally facing him. He walked into the dining room, stood in front of her, crossed his arms and repeated his last sentence. Silence. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut ice. “And what do you of all people know about happiness?” She asked with a dry chuckl
Camille: A part of me wanted to walk up after Daniel and try to explain why we just couldn’t let Lucia know about this, but the sensible part of me held me back. Daniel knew exactly why we couldn’t let Lucia find out about us. He may have nothing to lose; after all, he and Lucia already fought all the time and he could leave anytime he wanted to continue his amazing life in London. I on the other hand had no such benefits. Not only didn’t I have no other place to go, I also didn’t want to ruin my already strained relationship with my best friend. She thought she was looking out for me, and she was probably right. I couldn’t possibly risk our three year friendship for something so fickle. When I was done eating the sandwich Daniel had made for me, I went to have a shower. My entire body felt sticky and dirty. I winced when the water came in contact with the skin in between my legs. Was it supposed to still be this painful? Ugh. I could still feel the pressure in my ce
Camille: When I woke up, I was slightly disoriented, but the dull ache in between my legs quickly refreshed my memory. Crossing my legs together, I blushed when I remembered all that had happened the night before. The sweet but now distant memory of Daniel kissing me, touching me and then repeatedly but slowly thrusting into me, made me shut my eyes and blush. It felt like I had been a much different person then, even though it was just a few hours before. I could also remember Daniel doting on me after it was over; giving me a warm bath, then a hot drink and apologizing the entire time, as if it was something he had done to me, and not something we had both enjoyed. Besides the dull ache, I felt wonderful. I didn’t regret it as much as I had thought I would. In fact, I didn’t regret it at all. I wanted to shout it to the world, announce to them that I had finally done the deed and could now relate when next I read my erotica. I couldn’t wait to do it again. The only other
Camille: While I had been filled with more shame than I had ever felt before, a minute ago, I was now more filled with more desire than ever before. Before I could react to Daniel’s words, he placed his hand behind my head and softly attacked my lips with his. His tongue hungrily scouted my lips, demanding access into my mouth and I let it. Now more at ease with him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, letting my tongue roam around his mouth as much as his did. The more we kissed, the more I felt my restraints falling. I had badly missed kissing him. It lit a fire in the pit of my stomach that burned down to my core. As our tongues wrestled in each other’s mouths, I began to move my hips around slightly. The hard material of his pants grazed my clit when I wiggled against it, but instead of a discomforting ache, the rough feeling was so pleasurable. “F*ck. I can feel how wet you are,” he muttered before swallowing my lips again. My action seemed
Camille: I surprised myself by laughing. I just dropped my phone on the floor next to me and began to laugh. Daniel who had been seeking a reason to taunt me, would finally have one, because I couldn’t hide my curiosity. He had become less troublesome recently though, so there strong possibility he wouldn’t even react to my liking his post. There was equally a stronger possibility that I was overreacting and he wouldn’t even notice that I had liked his post. When I was done eating, I packed my plates to the kitchen and used the opportunity to clean up everywhere. It was still quite early, so I picked up notebook from under the couch. I was good. Really really good. I blushed as I read the previous chapters of my own book, heavily influenced by real life actions that had happened in this very house. This was so much better than any of the erotica I had read. This was so personal. I no longer had to try to fit myself into the main character’s point of view to enjoy the bo
Camille: I blinked twice. I couldn’t just have heard right. I didn’t know when I stepped back. A cold shiver ran down my spine. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. But then again, considering every other thing that had happened before now… “I can’t believe you,” I muttered. Lucia gave me a sympathetic look. “I know it’s hard to accept but that’s why I have been…” “I can’t believe you’d stoop so low to tell me horrible things about your own brother just because you don’t want us to be together,” I spat. Lucia looked at me like I had just grown a second head. “Is that what you think this is? Why would I lie against my brother?” I shrugged. “We all know how easy it is for you to lie. It’s not really much of a surprise.” “You seriously think I’m lying?” Lucia asked, pointing to her own chest. Her eyes were dry now. She was more angry at the fact that I was implying she was a liar than sad about it. “Yes I do,” I said matter-of-factly. “When your brother g
Camille: The next few days passed by quite uneventfully. Miss Winston sent me an impersonal text apologizing for her son’s behavior and telling me I could leave work indefinitely as she had to take care of her son in the hospital. I never went to see him. I didn’t know exactly how bad his condition was, but I couldn’t push myself to go. Even though I felt bad for him, I couldn’t shake off the reminder that if things had gone slightly differently, I would have been in the one in his position, or worse, I would have died on the spot. I couldn’t trust myself enough to go there. What if I saw him and got so filled with rage, I pulled off his life support. Okay, thankfully, I wasn’t that crazy, but still. I wasn’t so sure where I stood at the moment and didn’t want to risk any thing triggering me. Things weren’t better at the apartment either. Lucia kept to herself throughout the weekend, locked up in her room. When she finally tried to sneak out on Sunday afternoon and found
Camille: “What?” Daniel asked in surprise, realizing he was somehow part of this. Lucia had the guts to look surprised as well. I was so disappointed. I had a strong urge to get up and drag her by her hair. “What are you even talking about?” She asked, touching my forehead. Turning to Daniel, she asked him whether I had taken my medications that morning. I paused. Had that even happened at all? I was beginning to doubt my own mind. No. I was sure it did. I could remember everything clearly. Reggie coming to the bookstore and Miss Winston giving me the day off to go out with him, me in the car with Reggie while he went on a rant of how I had fucked Daniel while refusing him. “Get your hands off me,” I snarled, slapping her hand away from my forehead. “You told Reggie I slept with Daniel and that was why he was so mad. That was why he was drinking and why we were arguing. I almost lost my life because you couldn’t keep your stupid mouth shut. You just had to go and tel