DIANE I stare at Leo, gauging his words. He is right. I have already learnt so much from Jenelle without even meeting her in person back then.Without a doubt, I know I can certainly learn so much more from her now that I am in the same school and department with her.Suddenly, a stupid question takes shape in my head.Don't ask that Diane, just shut—“Is Jenelle just a friend to you Leo?” I blurt out the question, instantly regretting it.A moment of silence settles between us, a silence that suddenly clamps around my throat, making me wish I never asked. Leo says nothing, and the air around me suddenly starts feeling too choked. Too saturated.Shit Diane. It's none of your fucking business. You shouldn't have as—“Why do you ask that?” Leo finally speaks, folding his arms across his muscular chest, his silver grey eyes pinning on my face like they are trying to trap me and then dig the answer to his question out from my head.I take a moment to gather my thoughts and words, shruggi
DIANEIn the past, parties made me feel……something. Alive. Free. Like the perfect momentary escape from the shackled life I lived back home.I used to love parties so much back in high school. But now, I am not so sure anymore. To even think my past addiction started from there…..Sighing deeply, I check out myself in front of my mirror, adjusting the hem of my purple crop top over my belly. I know I have grown and healed past all that hurt and pain. Gosh, it fucking too months for me to be in the right frame of mind where I am right now.But deep down, in this moment, I know that I need to totally cross the finish line. To physically achieve one of the endgames of my therapy—which is to not shun things or places that used to make me happy just because they now make me remember unpleasant memories.Things or places aren't bad. How we make use of them is what makes them either bad, or good. I have to cross that finish line, and the only way to do that is to face it head on by going to
DIANE I guess I have no choice but to find out myself.With anxiety still brewing inside me, I look around, trying not to allow myself to get imprisoned for long inside my disturbed mind. My breath catches when I spot Leo over the dancing crowd where he is sitting at the bar glittering with bright neon lights, laughing with a girl dressed in a black skin tight dress with ginger red hair.Anyone with eagle eyes and a sensible brain can clearly see and figure out that he is obviously flirting with the girl, and that the girl is also unapologetically flirting back with the not-so-sorry way she is staring down at his mouth every now and then as he continues talking to her.Well, it is now confirmed that Leo and I are both in the same party afterall. I didn't even have to waste my time speculating, and I wasn't wrong when I thought he'd be enjoying his time here with some random girl.“Come on Dee, let's get some drinks.” Crystal tugs at my arm, the sudden nickname coming off her mouth ma
DIANEI can still feel Leo's warm breaths on the side of my neck, and now that he is even much closer, I helplessly pick up the fruity scent of his cologne.It envelopes my senses, and for a moment, I think about letting him linger a while longer…..Crystal clears her throat beside me, bringing me back. She shifts a little on my other arm that she's grasping onto, while Dante rests his elbows on the counter, shifting his inquisitive eyes between Leo and me. My belly churns when his whiskey brown eyes lock on me again, not shifting to Leo anymore.I guess it's time I—“You look hot.” Leo speaks again, amusement clearly evident in his voice. That amusement in his voice feels like he is toying with me.Nevertheless, it has me finally taking the risk of turning to face him squarely.“Thanks Leo, seems like we are in the same party afterall,” I bite out, forcing a smile on my face.“Yeah we are,” a smug smile is on his face, his bright sexy eyes still on me.Despite how much my body seems
DIANECrystal stares wide-eyed at me as silence settles between us.I wait for her answer, taking another shot of tequila. It still burns, but not so much like the first time. The party music is still banging everywhere around us. On the couch at the far left of the dance floor, a girl is giving a guy a wildly seductive lap dance.Crazy……I look away from the duo and focus back at Crystal, who is still staring at me wide-eyed.I snap my fingers at her face. “Crys?”She blinks suddenly and clears her throat, “w–why would you even ask me that?” she stutters.I chuckle. Damn, she is not a very good liar.I shift on my stool to face her fully as I speak, “Well, I don't know if it's just me, but since yesterday I met you and Dante, your attitude towards him has been sort of naggish, you know, like a child throwing tantrums around.”“I didn't know you were taking note of all that.” she mutters and looks away.“It was pretty obvious Crys,” I continue, “Too obvious that I didn't even bother t
DIANE A moment of silence settles between us when she stops speaking.Somehow, I know she is going to say more, but at the moment, I am really feeling her pain—the pain of watching someone you love as they love someone else.“Did he date anyone else after what Shirley did to him?” I manage to ask, breaking the silence between us.She chuckles sadly, “Of course he did, and the hurt returned. The pain increased with every new girl he dated, and he dated quite a LOT of girls. Even Shirley wanted to join the list later.”I gasp. “Oh no she didn't….”“Yes she did,” she scoffs bitterly, her index finger rubbing the rim of the empty shot glass before her, “she tried, but Dante was already done with her. I think part of what hurt me the most was that literally all the girls he either dated, or hooked up with, just wanted a taste of him and his money. None of them cared to try knowing him like I did, or was there for him during the times he needed them the most. It just made me angrier and ev
DIANE I still can't believe that I am really drunk already. It is sad that I have lost my liquor prowess after my time in rehab, but maybe, I could get it back later. Right now, the music is loud and deafening, the beats rocking through my body. My veins. My blood. Crys seems like she is drunk too, because she is shouting my name over the music time and time again like a crazy spectator as she claps over my twerking ass, encouraging me to continue dancing. Thank goodness she pushed me into loosening up. I am really enjoying myself here. Dante is still wherever he is, probably with that girl he was so impatient to meet earlier. A wave of sadness suddenly rushes through me as I remember all that Crystal told me tonight. I can feel without a doubt that her feelings for Dante are genuine and deep. I may not know anything about love, but I think love should be something more than just a mere attraction. It should be something worth fighting for. Something that gives so much happine
DIANE When I finally reach the end of the stairs, I find myself standing at the beginning of a long corridor lit with bright white and orange lights, and a thick mosaic decorated rug lining the path all the way to where it ends at the extreme. I am still feeling quite drowsy and weak in the knees. My vision is no longer that blurry, but I am also still pressed with the intense urge to pee. Immediately, I bang on the first door to my left. “Go away!” A loud female voice followed by a muffled deep moan greets my intrudence. Oops…… I step away from the door and knock on the next one. Another ‘go away!’ response is shouted back at me from inside the room. Damn it! I walk away from the door and proceed to other doors, knocking and disappointedly getting the same negative responses; “Go away!—” “Fuck off!—” “Stop following me!—” Gosh, at this pathetic rate, I am going to pee on myself! There are about four to six remaining doors on my left that I haven't checked out yet. I hurry