Chapter # 5

With a heavy pain on my chest, I started my married life where my consent didn’t matter, where my feelings were meaningless.

What a pathetic bond…

My eyes were cold, hands were empty, nothing to hold onto left anymore anyways. Everything had turned to dust. 

Submerged in my thoughts, I was hugging my knees on the bed with an empty side as my ‘husband’ came out after taking a shower, taking out his office attire.

“Eliana, listen. I have to leave right now, I am sorry,” 

He spoke apologetically, hastily getting ready but I had zero concerns about that.

“Look, I don’t mean to leave you after marriage but I have a really urgent meeting, I will be back soon.”

He smiled sweetly, coming closer to kiss the top of my head before pulling away. Forming my lips in a thin line, I nodded. 

“It’s alright,”

I failed to force a smile too…

After he left, I dug my nail into my skin, jaw clenching. The sensation of his touch was unwanted. 

I didn’t want it to replace my mistakes, I wanted them to sting, to remind me of what I did. 

Of my foolishness.

“It doesn’t matter, Eliana, it doesn’t,” 

Sighing in disappointment, I shook my head and got out of the bed to freshen up and pass my time which went by devilishly slow.

All the wrong thoughts were coming to me.

“Dammit, dammit,” Growling, I paced around, holding my sides from frustration but after lunch, Kyle returned. 

“Hey,” 

Regaining my cold posture, I replied coldly, “Hey,” 

“Let’s go out tonight,” 

I became hesitant, “Um, Kyle, I am tired… please, can we go another day?”

“Sure. We have our whole lives for it,”

“Thank you,” 

He smiled, not minding it as he pinched my cheek and continued playfully.

“Though I hope you are not angry at me for leaving,” 

“No, I understand you have work.” 

He seemed delighted that I apprehended his state but deep down, I was only wishing to maintain as much as possible distances with him.

I wanted him out, I didn’t want him. 

Not after what he did to me… 

He had ruined my life, from getting into a relationship to marrying me, he had destroyed everything. 

I would ‘never’ give him a chance.

Yet being forced to carry out that undesirable binding, a week passed and only I knew how painfully I had spent those moments.

My chest was constricting, my mind was barely working, depression took over me in a period of a week.

But, from this cage, I found a path for reprieve.

“Father is discharging today, Kyle. Can I go home?”

“Sure. I will pick you up on my way home, okay?”

“Thank you,” 

I went home, hastily rushing to my parent’s room to see my father who wasn’t even present at my own wedding. I was cursing Kyle for leading my father at this point as I mindlessly slammed the door open.

… Only to find the most unwanted man with him, helping him to sit and take his medicines. 

I felt horrible when I saw how weak he looked. It pricked me. 

“Careful, Mr. Duke,”

“Thank you for helping me, Denzel,”

“It’s alright,”

Wow, after throwing me into a fire, he was acting like a nice guy? 

Gritting my teeth in his presence, I ignored him and came to my father.

“Papa!”

“Ah, my princess!”

Grinning, he opened his arms for me as I hugged him tightly. 

“How are you now?” 

“Better after seeing you. How are you? Is everything okay? Is he treating you right? I was worried sick,” He whispered, cupping my cheeks from utter perturbation. 

And before I could speak something, complain how horrible all of it was for me, he spoke up first. 

“Don’t worry, Mr. Duke. Kyle might have used a wrong action but his intentions weren’t wrong. He loves our Eliana and will take good care of her,”

‘Don’t you fucking dare to use ‘our’ for me now.’ I thought furiously, glaring at him warningly.

“You don’t say,” I hissed, rubbing Papa’s back before pulling away. 

“Did you two have a fight? I have never seen Eliana being angry with you,” 

“I wasn’t present at the ceremony. You don’t worry, I will talk to her,” 

He spoke in a charming tone as if everything apart from ‘me’ was too precious and important to him.

“But, I have nothing to talk to you,” 

Scowling at this point, I walked out of the room, not wanting to spend a second in his presence that was suffocating me. 

It was shattering my heart to fathom how he neglected me, made me marry someone I didn’t want.

He had hurt me intensely.

I was in the corridor, pressing my teeth to not burst as he approached me steadily in his dominant and dangerous posture. 

“Stop creating drama before your father. He mustn’t receive any stress.” He growled, pointing his finger at me to stop my… drama.

“And what about the distress you threw on me, huh?” 

“Snap out of it, Eliana. Forget what happened between us.” He sighed, once again in disappointment, even rolling his eyes.

“It was not supposed to occur in the first place. I have a girlfriend too, did you forget?”

My mouth gaped, hitting his chest but he didn’t bother to bulge.

“Where was this girlfriend when you touched me, asshole?”

Instead, becoming enraged at my statement, his large hand grabbed my arm roughly.

Freezing my steps to the ground as he placed his index finger on my lips, scaring me by his one malicious glare.

“Shut up. Someone will listen,”

My body quivered when I removed his hand, making an almost crying face.

“You used me for your pleasure, didn’t you, Denzel?”

Irritation crept on his handsome features, releasing my body from his heat with an exasperating resonance.

“It’s nothing like this, Eliana. I am only doing what is good for you. Erase me from your heart, I was never the one for you,”

My jaw dropped, hitting his chest as I ended up yelling from anguish.

“How can you say this after taking my virginity, dammit!?”

“Shh. Someone will listen.” He scowled, twisting my arm to not create a scene after he had ruined my life.

Nothing. Literally nothing mattered.

The man I fell for- all of it was a lie.

A tear hopelessly rolled down my cheek, realizing the images he showed me, the side he displayed was nothing but a mirage.

“You don’t care, do you? None of it means anything to you,” I whimpered, losing my breath, on the verge of crying for falling for a man like him. 

He paused, releasing me instantly, tone slightly softening, “Eliana, we have been over this. It’s not like this-”

With discouragement coming to me, I shook my head in denial, refusing to believe in a man like him anymore.

“You used me, Denzel…” 

He opened his mouth but no justification could alter his actions or words. He never loved me, he took advantage of me. 

Everyone was right about him, he was not worthy to be loved…

“You used me and I won’t forgive you for it,” 

With a crushed hope and heart, I ran away, wanting to be away from him because each time I would see him, it would shatter me.

He lied. All those words, smiles, promises, touches.

All of it was a terrible deception. 

‘I hate you, I hate you so much, Denzel Reynold,’

Unable to bear his presence, I avoided him for the rest of the day and came back to the cage. At this point, I had no other option left.

 “What happened? Did you see your Father?” Kyle asked sweetly at night. We both laid down to sleep but he was in another mood.

“Hmm…”

He tried to kiss my neck but I stopped him by placing my hand in between.

“Kyle, please, I am disheartened and sad after seeing Father, I am not in the mood. I hope you understand,”

“Oh, okay, good night, sweetheart,” He smiled reassuringly.

Kissing my back before turning his back and we both faced the wall, lost in our own thoughts.

Hugging the sheets close to my chest I stared into nothingness with an unbearable sting on my chest.

I almost ripped my duvet by pulling them too tightly.

It was so damn painful.

‘When he felt nothing then why did he do this? Why did he latch his heart with mine? Why did he take things so far? Why?!’

Staring into nothingness with a shattered heart, my mind willingly stopped to those days where it all started.

Remembering the unfortunate time where I met him…