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My Alpha, My Hellfire 57
Ryan’s POVShe shook her head in denial, refusing to believe my words, or convincing herself not to believe me.I didn’t know how else I can make her believe me without a shred of a doubt.“I’m hideous” she whispered so low, I barely heard what she was too ashamed to admit out loud.A painful lump formed in my throat at her broken words.I was about to say something when she carried on, no longer struggling to break free from my hold but instead, she was hiding her face in my chest and stuttering emotionally “N… not just m..m..my eye, I’m….d…damaged on s… so…. Many levels. We don’t… d.. Deserve e.. Each… other, Ryan”I tightened my hold on her and said fiercely “Don’t say that. You are not hideous and you are not damaged, not to me. I want you just the way you are. Because you are so beautiful just the way you are and I’m willing to prove it to you. To prove to you that I will always be here for you… always and forever. Even if you can’t shift. Even if you can’t love me back in every
My Alpha, My Hellfire 58
Mila’s POV “We’re here” he whispered softly in my ear. I was lost in my own little world. A world I thought I would never get to live inside or experience. A world so perfect, so magical, That world had only one person in it that made it so extraordinary, my mate Ryan. I still can’t believe I have a mate I can confidently call mine now. It will probably take some time to truly believe he’s real. The night started beyond painful for me. From my excruciating, failed attempt at shifting, it made me feel so weak, so vulnerable in front of him. It made me feel inadequate and undeserving to be his mate. A beta’s mate. But none of that mattered to him, because he wanted me in any condition he can have me. He saw past my darkness and past my weaknesses. He made me open up to him when I thought I can never be open in front of even myself. He bared his neck for me and asked to be marked by me with so much confidence, it left no more doubt in my head that he was being kind with me out of
My Alpha, My Hellfire 59
Alec’s POV The girl changed a hundred and eighty degrees since the night I made that deal with her and she wasn’t able to fulfill it. My plan back fired into a total disaster. And I didn’t even understand why or how things went more wrong than before with her. Something happened that night, something that triggered so much pain inside her, and instead of falling apart she chose something a lot more dangerous to do to avoid dealing with what happened in a healthier manner. She became numb. Completely numb and indifferent. She chose not to feel anything at all instead of letting all her struggles and emotions burst out into the open. She stopped talking to me altogether. No matter what I say or ask, she wouldn’t say a damn word. I never thought I’d miss her rude, smart mouth, and hurtful words but I’d take them over this silence every time because this is driving me more crazy than her previous childish banter and cryptic words. I tried provoking her into opening her mouth and th
My Alpha, My Hellfire 60
Alec’s POVI gritted my teeth in frustration when she remained silent and went back to staring into space.Her tears continued to flow down though and it was the only indication that what I showed her did have some major effect on breaking away at her numbness.I moved in front of her and held her chin to make her stare at me.“You wanted to make sure she was fine from day one and I just showed you that she is way beyond fine. Why are you crying?” I asked in a low voice as I stared into her anguished blue eyes.She sniffled a couple of times, holding her sob inside her so she doesn’t break down in front of me.My grip on her chin softened as I released a tired sigh.I cupped her face with both hands and said softly “I can’t keep doing this anymore. I’m tired of this game, and apparently so are you. Just talk to me, I will listen to you I promise”Her eyes turned from anguished to
My Alpha, My Hellfire 61
Alec’s POVIt was almost three in the morning and the weather was biting cold, but she needed the fresh air now more than ever.I thanked Ryan heartily in my head for coming up with the idea of the patio because if it wasn’t for the fire pit he built there, I wouldn’t have been able to take her outside in this atmosphere.I climbed on the platform, hit the lights hanging on the railings and started the fire as high as it could go before going back inside into the main closet by the front door.I put on a heavy winter jacket and took another one for her, in addition to winter shoes and headed back to where I left her.Thankfully I found her still on the chair and still breathing like I told her to. Her lips were no longer blue and some color started to return back to her face.She was lost in her head, staring absently at the window I opened for her as I knelt down and put on her shoes before I wrapped the jacket around her
My Alpha, My Hellfire 62
Andrea’s POVI winced when my hands fisted automatically at the mention of my latest nightmare. The most horrible, scary, and thank goddess not real nightmare.The nightmare that finally broke me, drove me crazy to the extent that I begged Alec to be whatever he wanted me to be, to give him everything he wanted to know from me just so that it wouldn’t turn real.“Don’t, you’re hurting yourself! Let go please….Andrea” he said soothingly, trying to make me open my palms and release my tight hold so that I wouldn’t bleed further.I couldn’t contain my shudder this time as it escaped me at the mention of my name from his lips. Something about the way it comes out of him makes me feel a lot of goosebumps. And I can’t even admit that those goosebumps were so terrible to be felt. That nightmare messed with my head completely but I had no more power left in me to fight this destiny anymore. To fight the
My Alpha, My Hellfire 63
Andrea’s POV “Shhh, don’t think about that anymore. What’s done is done Andrea. Saying ‘if’ will not change anything. We need to get past what happened together, we can’t be stuck in the past forever” he said fiercely, wiping away my tears with his thumbs softly while talking to me. I leaned into his touches, seeking comfort in them, a relief from the constant sea of pain I keep drowning in. I had my eyes closed, so I didn’t expect what he did next when he leaned closer and printed a warm kiss on my forehead. My eyes opened in surprise and I saw him looking at me warmly “Don’t be afraid of anything or anyone Andrea. I’m willing to put the past behind me. What you did, why you did it, you don’t have to tell me about those if you don’t want to. Just be with me, whatever pain I caused you in the past, forgive it. Let’s start fresh together. Give each other a real chance to get to know each other without the shadow of our pasts lingering behind us” “I’m just so… tired Alec. I’m tired
My Alpha, My Hellfire 64
Andrea’s POVAdrian and Alec looked identical in their appearances that anyone who doesn’t actually know them can mistake them for the other and call them twins despite the two year gap between them.Of course now they can instantly be distinguished because Adrian keeps his hair to a shoulder length while Alec’s hair is short on the sides with longer strands in the middle.But ten years ago, they looked exactly the same. Somehow though, eight year old me was always able to pick out Alec even if they were together.I don’t know why, but it was always Alec that caught my attention and sent my heart racing in childish love every time I saw him around the pack house.It was always Alec that I would stalk around and watch from afar.Adrian never sparked any interest inside me. I never paid him any attention, and never bothered to know anything about him or about his personality.I wonder now how and why I felt this connection to Alec even though there was no way to tell we were mates back
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My Alpha, My Hellfire Acknowledgement
Another book finished and another thank you to everyone who reached this far and finished the book, I’m glad you stuck around and went through this journey with me. I hope it met your expectations and was worth your coins and bonuses. I have to admit, this was the hardest book to write until now. Not for lack of imagination, but more like lack of motivation in addition to multiple sicknesses that overtook me through the course of writing this book, it all made me spend many days not having the right mood to write and I didn’t force it because I would never write unless I was focused one hundred percent otherwise it wouldn’t be fair to my characters nor readers. But I am glad I was finally able to pull through and finish it and it all comes down to one person who kept me going. This book is dedicated to you, you made me have the energy and will to keep writing despite everything. When it felt like no one else was reading the book, you gave me everything I needed to continue writing
My Alpha, My Hellfire Epilogue
The Moon Goddess’s POVIf you ask me what are the best moments I enjoy watching between two mates I have paired together, I will have more than one answer for you.The moment they first meet and their wolves whisper that one word I love hearing the most, the moment they pretend they hate and loathe each other or act as if they hate the fact that they were each other’s mates or even when they get angry with me for mating them, the moment they begin to feel that tiny little spark of love but try as hell to hide it even from themselves, the moment they start with a verbal or physical angry fight and end up kissing each other heatedly, the moment they show their care for each other even when they visibly and stubbornly insist they don’t, the moment they finally accept and admit how much they are madly in love with the other, and even the small little moments they do or say something that shows me how right I was to pair them together…. Like this moment right now for example.It was three
My Alpha, My Hellfire 87
Andrea’s POVAfter what seemed like forever, she nodded her head at him and looked down at his hand that was clamped over her mouth, asking him to remove it so she can talk.“Keep your voice down” he asked gently before removing his hand away, and got off her, giving her a little space to sit up against the wall.She had wavy, long, brown hair that she kept tied in a low pony tail. Her brown eyes were gazing at Robert uncertainly, unsure about his claim that he wouldn’t harm her even if she agrees to help.“How will you break the spell on the bracelet? Alpha King is the only one who has the key to unlock it” she said in a small, raspy voice.“Are you going to help us?” he asked pressingly before answering her earlier question.“If you promise to let me live after I uncast it. Give me your word” she said tensely.“You have my word. As soon as you uncast the spell, your freedom is yours. You can either portal out of here and go anywhere you want or you can stay until the battle is over
My Alpha, My Hellfire 86
Andrea’s POVRobert was busying himself with transferring the food from the trolley to the small round table when he got Jude’s text.He took his phone out of his black jeans pocket and visibly stiffened in his place after reading it.He started typing after a few seconds and Jude read his reply out loud “There is no way I am doing anything to hurt her. Find another way while I feed her, she’s starving”Davina said heartily “Ethan please! Is there anyway you can…. I don’t know! Cut the feed or something! Make it look like the camera broke down. They probably won’t interrupt him just to fix it in the middle of his paid session right?”“That won’t work, a camera once broke down during one of the sessions and they…. moved us to another room instantly” Mila said nervously before lowering her head down sadly.Ryan squeezed her shoulder supportively and raised her head back up by touching her chin gently.They looked at each other without exchanging words and she nodded her head at him emot
My Alpha, My Hellfire 85
Andrea’s POV“A man by the name of Ryan Evans told me about this place. He’s a dear friend of mine and we regularly keep in touch. Told me he bought a slave from you a while back and seemed pretty satisfied with his purchase. It tempted me to visit this place and experience it for myself” Robert said egotistically.Ryan put his arm around Mila protectively after what Robert said. She leaned into him and clutched his shirt tightly.It was the answer Alec and Ryan suggested for Robert to say. It seemed fitting considering he met him pretty recently and would most probably remember Ryan’s name more than any other name Robert might come up with to avoid any suspicion and further questioning by alpha King.Alpha King’s face split into a bright grin as he nodded his head enthusiastically “Oh yes, I remember beta Ryan. I also remember that slave he purchased, she was a long time favorite of mine. It was a little sad to part with her because she was pretty useful around here but well…beta Rya
My Alpha, My Hellfire 84
Andrea’s POVI released a deep sigh for what felt like the thousand times in the past hour alone.I was barely holding it together but I could feel that control slowly slipping the closer we reach to the go time of the battle.Alec made sure to keep me by his side the entire day today, knowing how much I need him by my side for as long as possible before he leaves.Yesterday was a turning point for us, not just because we made love multiple times and confessed our love to each other, but also because I realized how much his love for me got me out of my darkness and gave me a new happy beginning I never thought I would be able to have before he came along. Being with him takes all my fears and pain away. Being with him makes me feel blessed, safe, and happy.That’s why I was slowly getting restless the closer it gets to his departure. I needed him like I needed air, like I needed my beating heart.I cannot lose him, not now, not ever.Everyone was ready and on alert. All the warriors f
My Alpha, My Hellfire 83
Andrea’s POV“You have no idea how much you telling her you love her really affected her Alec” I mind linked him affectionately.It’s been two hours since our wolves officially met each other and they are still inseparable until now. They won’t let us shift back yet despite Alec having a ton of responsibilities to do and prepare for tomorrow.“She’s truly adorable, Maddox is totally smitten” Alec said lovingly.I chuckled and asked him lightly “I want to talk to him as well, don’t shift right away ok?”“He wants to meet you too. I finally got him to start saying goodbye, they are reluctant but he does understand that I have somethings that need to be done before tomorrow. I’m sorry I’m going to have to leave you on your own until dinner” he said apologetically.“Don’t worry about me I will hang out with Mila. I love you”“I love you too, Andy”I shifted back into my body while Maddox stayed in his form, gazing at me with glowing light blue eyes.I stepped closer to him, I didn’t need
My Alpha, My Hellfire 82
Alec’s POV Her outburst took me a little by surprise but it kind of made me admire her more. Okay, yes I was trying to protect her from the scary truth, I didn’t want to make her imagine the worst case scenario or make her fears worsen for tomorrow, but she also had a point… kind of. She’s not eight anymore. She will become my Luna and she needs to learn to remain strong in the face of any threat or doom that might or might not come at us in the following years. If she falls apart, the rest of the pack will fall apart as well so she needs to keep her fears well hidden and stand strong despite everything. A part of me wanted to keep her protected and hide her from ever getting hurt or scared again, but a bigger part completely understood her. I said she isn’t weak before and I meant it. She is really strong, so strong because despite falling apart consistently in the past few days, she still picked herself up and handled everything that was thrown at her despite how hard it was to t
My Alpha, My Hellfire 81
Alec’s POV“Say it again” I asked softly, my soul requesting to hear this sentence over and over again. I realized that I too longed for that sentence to be said to me. I wasn’t as deprived of love as she was for the past ten years, but let’s just say it’s been a rough month that had me realizing that I needed her in my life now more than ever and was thankful; despite the very horrible circumstances in which we met, that I had finally found her… My fated mate, the one chosen for me by the moon goddess. I pray she forgives me for cursing her out at first because I seriously thought she had it out for me for making this girl my mate, but now I know she was really giving me exactly who I deserve to spend the rest of my life loving and caring for.She smiled, knowing how much her admitting her feelings to me made me very delighted.“I love you so hard, Alec” she said tenderly with a bright smile, the brightest
