3. Get Rejected

 

      Okay. Maybe I should have phrased that a better way.

      My fingers tremble as Alpha Kier rises from his seat of power, towering several heights above me. I have to tip my head all the way back to look at him, and as I do, I can’t help but think he’s the most beautiful man that exists.

     “What did you say?” His voice goes all the way to my stomach and the butterflies in it disperse quickly.

     “I said—“ My voice comes out as a squeak. I swallow and start again. “I said, I wish to be your Luna, Alpha.”

      His gaze pierces through me, seemingly searching into the depths of my very soul. “No, the last part. What was that?”

     The entire hall is so silent, you can hear the birds chirping outside, as well as the sound of footsteps in the hallway outside the hall. I can even hear my own heartbeat. It’s so loud, I’m sure the entire hall can hear it too. My lips part, but my tongue feels too heavy to repeat those words, confess what I feel to him.

     It shouldn’t be this hard. I have dreamt of this moment every day; the moment when the Alpha looks me in the eye and I tell him how I’ve waited for him all my life and kept myself chaste for him.

      “I love you,” I whisper, even if the entire hall can hear it.

     Alpha Kier watches me for a moment, dark brows lifting as he assesses me. My heart keeps jumping around in my chest as I await his response. I’m really not sure what I expected. That’s the problem with having too many dreams. You stop being able to tell them apart from reality. What if Lovette was right and I have truly lost my mind?

      Well, that’s not new. Everyone knows Jessamine Everhart. I’ve always been a nutjob. Well, everyone except the Alpha and his mother. They’re much too busy tending to the pack and rogue attacks than bother with me.

        Alpha Kier takes a step back and only then do I notice how much heat rolls off him. And then, he starts to laugh. It is a sharp sound, and soon, everyone in the hall joins in.

         Heat creeps up my cheeks in embarrassment, but I refuse to let my head hang in shame.

       He falls back in his seat, waving his hand in Beta Randale’s direction. “When I asked for entertainment, I didn’t mean this, Beta.” To me he says, “Off you go. I’ve had a good laugh.”

      I pause, confusion creasing my features. He thinks I’m joking around?

     Beta Randale begins to advance in my direction, anger tightening his features, but I’m not so easily dismissed. I take a step forward before he can reach me and I blurt, “You consider me a joke because I’m an Omega?” My voice carries well over the hall and gasps replace the sound of laughter. Pointing behind me, I continue, “Can I not be your Luna because I do not have the luxury that they do? You pride in being a just Alpha, a man who looks at all the members of his pack as equals, but I guess you must be all talk to disregard me just because I am a maid and not the daughter of some powerful Alpha!”

     Mother used to say I was born wrong. I have too much fire to be an Omega. It’s on days like this that I believe her, because no Omega can stand up to an Alpha. It’s an anomaly. I’m an anomaly. I shouldn’t be able to stand before him and yell at him. I shouldn’t even be able to stand in a room like this, with the powerful auras from different Alphas nearly suffocating me.

      Alpha Kier’s jaw tightens and anger flickers in his eyes. “Be very careful what you say, Jessamine Everhart.”

     Mentally, my jaw drops. Goddess, he knows my name and he said it too. My insides melt and I have to keep a hold on myself to prevent my brain from running out the window.

      “I’m not wrong,” I tell him, standing my ground.

        Alpha Kier straightens in his chair and his eyes have become so cold, I shiver. “Get her out of my sight,” he says to no one in particular.

      Tears prick my eyes as the sentries close in on me. He hates me. I disgust him that much? Should I have approached this a different way? Did I do it wrong? Should I not have said that? How could I have ruined this so quickly? I need to fix this or I’ll lose the chance to truly appear before him again.

     I fall forward, crumpling to my knees and bowing my head low until my forehead touches the ground. “I have overstepped, and I apologize for it, but I do not apologize for feeling the things that I do. Can love ever truly be wrong? I cannot help that my heart beats for you. It always has, and it always will.”

        *She’s lost her mind,* I hear people say behind me.

       *What a crazy woman. Notice the rags she is wearing? How could the Alpha not notice a mad woman roaming his castle?*

     *Utterly shameless. A worthless thing like her dares to even think of being with Alpha Kier?*

    * This is what happens when you give peasants a yardstick.*

      The words keep coming and they might as well be throwing stones at me. The foot of a guard brushes  against my hand and just as I feel arms pulling me up, Alpha Kier holds up a hand. “Leave her.”

      My eyes widen as strong hands release me. His mother turns to him. “We have important matters to attend, Kier. A conniving maid’s words cannot halt this event.”

      Ignoring her, he rises from his chair, walking over to where I kneel on the ground. He crouches low, grabbing my chin so he can peer in my face. He tips me head left, right and up, eyes tracing every line and contour of my face. “The fire in your eyes will not be enough to make you Luna. Rid yourself of the delusion that I, Alpha King Kier, will ever stoop to mating with a lowly maid. You and your feelings mean nothing to me, and they never will.”

       My heart feels like it’s been ripped apart. The pain, the raw searing pain, surges through me as I stare in his eyes that are as cold and indifferent as his words that still echo in my ears. I know I am of low birth but this maid has seen more of him than anyone else in this castle has.

      I’ve always watched him from afar. I know what he looks like when he’s angry, sad, grieving and happy. I have pulled off his boots at night when he fell asleep drunk, and I have tucked him in at night. And I know he doesn’t know that I’m his stalker, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling betrayed and angry.

        Jeez, Jessamine, you’ve made a complete fool of yourself.

       My face burns with humiliation at the face of my rejection, and breathing becomes a tedious affair. Everything blurs as I keep my tears from spilling.

       I’m not crazy. I truly love him, with every beat of my heart, every fiber of my being. . .and he rejected me. Why? Because I am not what he wants or desires. I am not like the women behind me. I have nothing and am no one.

       That makes me angry, and my brain doesn't function well when I’m angry.

       They laughed at my confession and named it madness. They say I can’t be Luna. They say I am crazy. But somehow, their actions and words do not hurt me as much as Alpha Kier’s.

       He says I am a lowly maid and I am nothing to him.

       I’ll make him eat his words. I’ll make him fall madly in love with me. I’ll make him obsessed with me.

       I suck in a sharp breath, holding his gaze with a different kind of fire burning within me. I smile coolly. “Then it shouldn’t be a problem to let me partake in the selection.”

      His hand falls away from my face, though I catch a fleeting spark of surprise in his eyes. “It is not your place—“

       “You have nothing to fear, Alpha,” I cut in sharply. “Unless you’re worried that there’s a possibility that I win your heart.”

         Alpha Kier’s jaw tightens and I know I have tickled the predator in him that likes to be challenged. His head snaps to Beta Randale. “Jessamine Everhart will be a contender.” To me, he adds, “You lose and you will be banished from this pack, and every other.”

        That would instill fear in any one else, but I don’t plan to lose.