Her eyes lift from the files on the desk, the chair clatters to the ground as she rushes to engulf me in a hug like we are old friends reuniting after a decade. I stiffen in her arms, my hands glue to my sides as she squeezes me in an embrace. Letting go with an arm still wrapped around my wrist, she pouts and I cringe at her overly bright smile.
Pregnant? I snort in disbelief, folding my legs underneath me as I reprimand myself for letting Sophia’s words linger in my head. Nothing positive comes out of her mouth, why did I expect that to change today? Propping my elbow on the table, I nibble on the last of the chocolates I stole, eyeing the empty wraps strewn across the table. I am a big mess.Unable to block out Sophia’s voice, I open my phone’s browser to Google spotting, the possibility of young women spotting during pregnancy and I suck in a sharp breath at the information displayed in front of me. My eyes water, I shake my head and let my phone slip through my fingers, this is bullcrap. They are in collaboration with Sophia.Why haven’t I thrown up yet? Why don’t I have the usual morning sickness? I have lost my appetite and that’s normal for me, a lot of women. But I haven’t felt dizzy or many of the symptoms they are kind to list off
Tension hangs over us like a wet blanket, I sniff, willing the overenthusiastic tears to dry up. My fingers blindly reach for the duvet, Brandon pulls it over me with a sigh. I mutter my gratitude but remain curled at the edge of the bed even when he touches me, stiff as a pole at the contact. I swat his hand on my shoulder, what does he want? I need to rest.
The bed is empty when I wake, panic grips me, I clutch the sheets hard enough to break a nail and my fingers scream in protest. Is he gone? My heart slows to a torturous beat and my hand stretches to touch Brandon's side of the bed. It is still warm. I close my eyes and release my breath. He is here. He didn't leave me again. But what if he has?Streaks of sunlight filter into the room from the cracks in the curtain, casting a soft glow on the floor. I sit up slowly, the duvet rolls to my waist and a hand goes over my mouth to stifle my yawn. My eyes scan the room for him, hoping for his return or any sign he is still at home. Is he mad at me for last night stunt? He can’t be. I should be the one upset.Shyness creeps up on me when I notice the full state of my undress, I pick my gown that had been folded at the foot of the bed. Embarrassment rattles my insides at the sight of my underwear which falls out of the pile, I don't put them
Brandon's crestfallen expression should have cajoled me into adding the missing details like I only let her have it for a few days. I have been indoors, she goes to work, so she needs it more than I do. But the thinly veiled hurt in his eyes gladdens me. I hope it hurts as much as it did when he returned his ring, the symbol of our wedding and my necklace.
Campus is abuzz with the voices of fellow students trooping out of the lecture hall, faint laughter rings out as friends chat behind me. I meander through the dim-lit corridor like a woman on a mission with only one goal. Get away from Josh. On stepping out of the large building home to many of my classes, I close my eyes and let out a deep breath.A voice calls out my name, my eyes jerk open, I resume walking with no clear location in mind. My hands tighten around the handle of my handbag which swings in tune with my walking step, I quicken my pace as the voice grows louder. Times like these make me wish we are in different departments, it w
Stupid. Anyone can do this. I am not falling for this lame move, he will change it in a few days. A wave of emotions crashes over me, my toes curl in satisfaction and my lips curve into a blinding smile which I desperately try to wipe off when Clarissa glances my way. He identifies himself as my husband first. That should mean something. I lick my lips, it does, it means a lot. To me. My heart grows heavy, I groan, it doesn’t change what he did.
The deep, masculine voice runs over me like melted chocolate, my knees buck and I lean on the door for support. Is he aware of my presence? Is this a trap? Shouldn't he have asked for my identity? I smoothen the front of my jacket, inhale and push the door open.Brandon rises with an urgency that causes his seat to clatter to the ground, I swallow my disappointment as he halts midstride. He wasn’t expecting me. Setting my bag on the floor, I take tentative steps forward and he bridges the gap between us in a few strides.&
Those words, spoken barely above a whisper sends searing heat straight to my core. I choke on an appropriate reply, offering him my first genuine smile since I stepped into his office. If he keeps saying the right things, I will wipe his name off my black book.Unknotting the gown with unsteady hands, he attempts to help but my glare keeps his arms glued to his sides. I need to capture his expression when he sees me. From the slight creasing of his eyebrows down to the dilation of his pupils. The lust, raw desire clouding his amber eyes. I want to see everything, to bask in the emotions I can evoke.Finally getting on track, I gulp when the knot comes undone, hold the ends of the jacket loosely between my fingers. Brandon’s confusion at my hesitation is almost comical, I might have laughed but I am too focused on getting this right, calming my racing heart.I count to ten under my breath, maintaining his gaze. Swallo
"You promised," he whispers. He lets go of me to run his hands through his hair. "You promised me, Elna. Your beginning, middle and end." Jumping to his feet, he folds his hands behind his head and murmurs, "You promised. You can't leave me. Baby, please."Unable to look him in the eyes, I bury my face into the pillow and continue shaking my head. I know the answer to his question now, I am so certain of it. Do I still want him? Yes, I will always want him, more than I have ever wanted anyone but I can't have him.Murder is murder and he killed his brother.And it hurts.It hurts every fibre of my being. I love him so much it hurts to think of a future without him. I don't think I can stop loving him but when I look at him, all I see is a killer. If I cannot look past his sins then I shouldn't be in his life. It will be our secret, it's not in my place to tell other people and I am fine with that. I wi
It is hard.Really hard.
He doesn't regret it. But he feels bad. What does that mean? I race down the stairs as fast as I can, my car keys dangling in my hand. Hopefully, I look sane with the way I hurriedly dressed and left. I need to talk to Clarissa but about what? Do I want to tell her what Brandon said? What if she calls the police on him? Will she do that? She won't.
I wake to amber eyes staring down at me. I flash Brandon a sleepy smile, he presses a kiss to my hair and I giggle, he must love my new shampoo. "You slept well?" I ask.He nods, placing another kiss on my temple. "I did, you?" he says against my skin and I hum in response, loving the wet kisses he litters on
The next day, my phone is pinging with notifications. David shoots me a grateful text I don't reply, I am sure he doesn't expect one, we are not friends. My finger hovers over the delete option on his contact, I hesitate. It won’t hurt to have it so I save his number, something I had failed to do. Bored, I send Brandon an SOS and switch off my phone.Time to take matters into my hands.Bathed, shaved and clad in lace lingerie that barely holds my breasts and reveals my bump, I sit up, legs crossed while awaiting that click that will announce his entrance. He won't talk to me like a normal person and now, I am pissed. And horny. And frustrated.The click to signify his presence sounds, reverberating in the room. I shoot up from the bed as fast as a pregnant woman approaching her third semester can and saunter to the door, swinging my hips. Brandon eyes me from head to toe, the appreciative glint in his gaze is missing but I shrug tha
Curiosity kills the cat. Satisfaction brings it back. It has to. That is the reason I am in this café, waiting for David after I made the spontaneous decision to see him. I pull my oversized tracksuit over my belly, trying and failing to blend in with the scanty crowd.A wave of nostalgia hits me when someone passes with a tray of fish and chips. I need to call Clarissa. I don't understand how we let life, thesis and coursework pull us apart but we need to meet. Sending her a short text, I roll my lip between my teeth while awaiting her reply. If she replies before David comes, I will cancel our meeting. She comes first.I shouldn't be here.That seems to have become my new mantra and each time, things turn out better than I expect. I hope it's the case today. Taking a swig from the water bottle on the table while I wait for the first person to show up, I try to push the nagging thoughts out of my head.
Seconds of silence pass, when Josh doesn't seem to be leaving, I ask, "Who is Brendan?""Our brother, Brandon's twin." I blink, my head spins from the sudden information and my thoughts crash to a stop when he adds, "He is dead." Josh's smile is pitiful, I don't know when I move to stand beside him. I pat his shoulder. "He died in an accident."Brandon has a twin, a dead twin. It's all I can think while my hand meets Josh's shoulder in an awkward show of comfort. He pries my hand off him with a smile I don't comment on because of how fake it is. I rub my hand against my hip. Brandon has a dead twin.Seeing how shaken I am by the news, Josh pushes me into his seat, I sink gratefully into it. I shouldn't have asked. My husband should have told me himself. "When did he die?""A while ago."I snap. "How long is a while ago?""Five years," he rep
Josh catches up to me before I reach the house, he offers me a smile, I shrug. None of this is his fault. We take a seat by the kitchen window, staring at the trio seated inside the gazebo. From our position here, we can't see their lips moving but I can't help wishing they will start a conversation. Talk to each other even if it ends in a screaming bout."Do you think they will reconcile?"Josh snickers. He hops to the fridge like he pays rent and returns with a huge chunk of cake. The leftover I had saved to munch on later because I can't resist anything sugary and his family didn't let me enjoy it. Fleeting anger surges through me, I close my eyes."Nope. Not a chance," he says. I turn to see him dragging another stool close to me.The poise and gracefulness he was forced to adapt when we were outside vanish when he gobbles the cake. I smile foolishly, this is the Josh I know. Slapping his knee, I mot
The gazebo is deathly quiet and the tension promises to suffocate us. Everything is going well, if you count the curt greetings from Brandon's snobbish parents. Queen Elizabeth doesn't hold a candle to Brandon's mother with her prim and proper manners, wrinkles and white hair cropped short. All she needs is a crown and I'll genuflect before her.Brandon's dad is an older beardless version of him with thinning hair. He is so quiet, the kind of quiet that allows his haughty wife freedom to speak to people as she pleases. A minute after exchanging greetings and I can already tell it was a bad idea to invite them.Seated beside Brandon, muscles tight and frustrated at my lack of release, I drum my fingers on my legs hidden under the table. He didn't have to punish me this way. I am pregnant, he shouldn’t leave me horny. One look at him shows that's the least of his worries.He is as tensed as I am, maybe even more and a wave of gu