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64

If I shook my head, which was what I wanted to do, the tears would fall. If I stayed still, like I was doing now, I could keep them at bay, halfway between my lids and tear ducts—where they’d been frozen since she’d handed me my first glass of wine.

“I don’t know, Saara . . .”

“Hey . . . look at me.”

I hadn’t realized I wasn’t.

I turned my face, feeling a drip round my eyelid, meeting an expression that caused even more tears to fall.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She was hurting, hurting for me, and that killed me.

Saara and I shared happiness and pain.

I just didn’t want there to be pain.

I didn’t want today to happen.

Breathe.

Sip.

Repeat.

“Listen to me,” she started. “The forensic dude is going to prove your innocence. The second they get their hands on your computers, it’s going to be more than obvious that you didn’t transfer anything to FaceDicks.”

Normally, that would have made me laugh.

But I couldn’t even imagine that sound coming through my lips.

“Easton is trying to put a rush o
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