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“But to change your number? That, I don’t get.”

I sighed. That day, like so many others, had hurt.

“Faceframe gave me a company phone and there was no reason to maintain two lines, so I got rid of my personal one. Before I did that, every morning I would wake up and look to see if there was a text from you. I was battling the loss of my mom, and I couldn’t even distinguish grief from happiness anymore. I was just moving, keeping busy, burying myself as deep as I could so I didn’t have to think about that permanent hole in my chest.” I stopped to breathe. “I could have reached out, of course, but again, I didn’t trust myself.

I didn’t trust what I’d say to you, what I’d promise you, what I’d ultimately do if you asked me for more. I wasn’t in the right headspace. So I thought if I disconnected, if I made it impossible for us to communicate, I would be able to move on.”

“Did you?”

I shook my head. “Not even close.”

Silence ticked between us, but his stare was as strong as ever.

It didn’